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About olesun

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  1. My initial thought about your story was: Why haven't you contacted this girl yet? What the hell are you waiting for?
  2. This. This right here is exactly the mindset you need to be in. Everyone. Please read this. Read it again. And model yourself off of it.
  3. I want to leave some thoughts here, because I think they're supplemental to my first post in this thread. So, PLEASE read this post. The reason I'm apprehensive about responding to every request is not because I'm too busy or cool to help you out. It's because there's a core message from the first post that you're missing. And until you really absorb it, no amount of advice from me will help you. The BIGGEST turning point for me in getting my ex back was when I realized that the hundreds of pieces of conflicting advice I was getting was not helping me get her back. I was changing my pe
  4. Not that I'm recommending it. But in Pick Up Artist literature, you'll find one constant, solid piece of advice; accept that you WILL get turned down. The happiest, most confident men I've ever met are the ones who have accepted this. The best of them have learned to take rejection and somehow look cool doing it. The thing is, none of them have some natural born ability. It's just confidence building and exuding your own natural brand of charisma. She's unattracted to you, plain and simple, because you don't seem to be attracted to yourself, either.
  5. The reason the "FORGET ABOUT HER" part is even recommended is because reconciliation is not easy. It is actually much easier to go NC, move on and find someone new than it is to rekindle a relationship with baggage. Also, there's also the idea that "When you forget about them, that's when they come back". The reason I made this thread is because this forum, though titled "Getting Back Together" is almost exclusively filled with bitter people giving advice like "Forget about them and don't bother". While that might be the safest thing to do, it's technically off topic. This is about getting bac
  6. That's a healthy answer. Realistically, had you dropped your service and studies and entered the workforce, you likely could get her back. But at what cost? I believe there are times for a compromise, but it should be equal. She should realize that, if she loves you, your studies and everything will lead to a better, stronger and healthier lifestyle for the both of you. She's not being patient and she's not thinking ahead. That's a tough trait to have in a partner. Believe me, I know firsthand.
  7. It shouldn't be a big hurdle for you to get back together. If you have accepted it, it's not a hurdle. If you haven't accepted it, you won't be able to get back together. She broke up with you. She also did so amicably and to some degree, respectfully. I apologize if I seem a bit frustrated, but the answers are right there in the first post of this thread. You need to live your life. It doesn't mean you need to stop loving her. But you need to live your life and have fun doing it. Reach out to her from time to time. Keep it casual. But anything else will just be overwhelming. Don't view
  8. In a sense, she gave you the most straight forward reasoning for the break up you could have asked for. What you need to do is ask yourself what she's worth to you. Could you abandon your military service and studies, get a job in the workforce and ask her to marry you? Or are your present goals more important? There are no wrong answers. But she's made it abundantly clear what she wants. And she doesn't seem willing to tolerate things as they are. That's not the sign of a great partner. But she's being honest. And that deserves respect. The decision is yours.
  9. I don't think it matters. We could sit here and try to interpret the text all day long and it won't help. I think continuing to move forward, while occasionally maintaining a degree of light contact is the only thing you can do at this point.
  10. Why are you trying to tell me like I don't know what it feels like? I get it. I'm just trying to tell you that it's a waste of time. You're giving these feelings of sorrow and despair more significance than they deserve. It's your way of acting out your love for him while he's not there. But it's not love. It's wallowing. And it's killing you. Anyone would tell you that the reason you're not healing is because you're still in touch. The arrow is still inside you. How the hell are you supposed to heal? If you love him, you NEED to get better. ASAP. And you can't do that with him in your lif
  11. Shack: To begin with, the details aren't really that important. I'm still not entirely sure what happened with this race thing. However, she seems to be a very headstrong woman and has made up her mind. She seems to have indicated that there are some very serious changes she wanted to see take place in you and didn't feel that they occurred. Can you say, with any honesty, that they've actually happened? You most likely still need to work on yourself. Her last words were very final. It's hard to say what's best for you at this point, because she wasn't exactly ambiguous and this was
  12. You need to cut communication from him. Temporarily. You need to let him know that you need a little time to heal. You are not going to heal because you're not being proactive about it. Healing isn't a process that just happens without any action your part. Think of it this way, if someone shot you with an arrow and it was still in your shoulder, do you think it's going to heal? Are you just going to walk around with the arrow in your shoulder, bleeding profusely and thinking it's going to be just fine? Sounds ridiculous right? As for "ending your life". I won't tolerate that kind of
  13. Shack, i can't read this story and give you the information you need. There are so many details that I can't actually even pinpoint what you're curious about. Can you edit your post and break it down to about a paragraph for me? I don't want to set a precedent in this thread that if you post a massive story, I'll have the time to respond. But I would like to give you some thoughts. I know that the details of your breakup seem important to you. But for the most part, aside from a very, very few items, the details are irrelevant. Try your best to boil them down to a single paragraph and I'
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