Does unrequited love/heartbreak/abandonment leave a person heartless?

[Cheetarah]

And with that all being put on the table V66 is one of the kindest, most empathetic and truly passionate people on this site. How she gets up everyday is a testament to her faith in herself, mankind and God.

 

That she is. I envy that ability and hope to build myself with the same strength.

[cadmiumblue]

I was physically and emotionally abused by my mom's ex, so please don't assume I haven't experienced that.

[Seraphim]

I am not assuming. But you told me you had no empathy for people like me so I gave you a slice of MY life behind the "oh so perfect cover" you have no empathy for.

[cadmiumblue]

Obviously I can't list everything, but obviously I would add "have not been abused" to that. You knew what I meant.

 

Also, you're not my age...or so your profile says. Women enjoying their 20s incur my ire more than anyone, because they're experiencing the joy that I can't.

[Seraphim]

Ok I wave my white flag, yes, you are the world's biggest victim, you win. You don't want help. You want to whine. And that is fine.I hope you help yourself though because your life will utterly stink if you don't. Good luck.

[cadmiumblue]

I never said I was the world's biggest victim. I'm saying there are things that perfect life people just don't understand. Obviously you are NOT one of those people.

[cadmiumblue]

Also, I'm truly sorry that those things happened to you. I know I'm coming off as insensitive, and I truly don't mean to. It's a lot to process when you find out that happened, especially to someone you don't know. I don't think there's any real appropriate response I can give you except to say that I am sorry.

 

So maybe the answer is that I'm unloved because I'm a terrible person?

[Seraphim]

No, you are not a terrible person. You HAVE to pick yourself up though. Your anger is hurting YOU, not other people. It is destroying, YOU. Who is hurting? You, right? So DO something about it. Therapy was not working because either it was not the right therapist for you. You did not do what they suggested or you were closed to trying. TRY AGAIN. Never stop trying to get better. That is your duty to yourself.

[mhowe]

Also, I'm truly sorry that those things happened to you. I know I'm coming off as insensitive, and I truly don't mean to. It's a lot to process when you find out that happened, especially to someone you don't know. I don't think there's any real appropriate response I can give you except to say that I am sorry.

 

So maybe the answer is that I'm unloved because I'm a terrible person?

''

You may be a terrible person. We don't know. But maybe you are unlove-able, and that has made you bitter and negative.

[Blue Spiral]

No offense dude, but haven't you mentioned in other posts that you may be on the Asperger's spectrum?

 

I've never been diagnosed, but I suspect that I may be.

[cadmiumblue]

''

You may be a terrible person. We don't know. But maybe you are unlove-able, and that has made you bitter and negative.

 

Unlovable? Wow.

[Fudgie]

I don't really understand the hatred you have for people enjoying their 20s...why? Because YOU aren't enjoying your 20s? Geez, I HATED my teen years but I never hated anyone who liked them while I didn't.

 

I'm sorry but that sounds really abnormal. Being unhappy is one thing but hating people who are happy simply because you aren't is pathologic.

 

I am happy to say that I like my 20s. I like my age. I like what I'm doing now. You are unhappy because of your own mindset and life choices. I've seen people in a lot worse situations than you who are happy. This is 100% on you and it's up to you to fix your own life. Can't go around blaming circumstances forever.

[cadmiumblue]

I don't really understand the hatred you have for people enjoying their 20s...why? Because YOU aren't enjoying your 20s? Geez, I HATED my teen years but I never hated anyone who liked them while I didn't.

 

I'm sorry but that sounds really abnormal. Being unhappy is one thing but hating people who are happy simply because you aren't is pathologic.

 

I am happy to say that I like my 20s. I like my age. I like what I'm doing now. You are unhappy because of your own mindset and life choices. I've seen people in a lot worse situations than you who are happy. This is 100% on you and it's up to you to fix your own life. Can't go around blaming circumstances forever.

 

I don't know how someone who doesn't even know me can say "Maybe you're just unlovable." That is a truly heartless thing to say.

[Fudgie]

Uh, I didn't say that you were unlovable. Why did you quote my post?

[cadmiumblue]

Not you, another person. I'm talking to you about that person, just making a point of how unkind people can be.

[Fudgie]

I think I said some good points that deserve a looking at, not glossed over. I came to the thread to offer my thoughts, not to put down other posters.

[cadmiumblue]

Yes, I know. People way worse off than me are happy.

[cadmiumblue]

Then again, they probably get laid...which makes a big difference in life...

[Fudgie]

Anyone can get laid. The act of just getting sex is pretty easy when you're a girl. You want sex? FWBs, casual relationships with one night stands, and being a call girl will all get you sex.

 

But right now sex shouldn't be a worry for you. You are unhappy with your life if you think sex will solve that or even make it significantly better, it won't. Having a relationship when you're depressed is a terrible idea and I should know I have depression! I think you put sex on a pedestal because you haven't had it.

[cadmiumblue]

I think you have to have a friend first before there can be any benefits. But I'd love a situation like that. But again, there has to BE a friend before there can be any benefits in a FWB situation. No friends, no benefits.

 

I've had plenty of friends with no benefits, most notably the person mentioned in my original post. Friend with ****ing detriments.

[Seraphim]

Ok but that is now the past. Stop living in it. Live in TODAY. You can not change the past. You can not live in the future. What you have is TODAY. Live in it and make the best of it. Smile and go out and make a friend.

[cadmiumblue]

I smile a lot.

 

Still don't have friends. : (

[Seraphim]

Then get out there girl and show an interest in other people and activities. Stop sitting there worrying about something from 6 years ago It is a waste, an utter sheer horrible appalling waste of your life. Get living and stop worrying about shyte you can't change.

[mhowe]

Unlovable? Wow.

 

You call yourself a terrible person. I say "we", the forum doesn't know...but maybe you are un-loveable...meaning because you project yourself as such. Because you don't love yourself. And if you don't, you cannot expect others to walk accross that burning bridge and reach out to you.

 

You, as a human being, are capable of loving and being loved.

 

You, personally, seem to have constructed a persona that is cruel, hostile and unapproachable. And don't seem to want to change that ---to simply dwell in your negativity. Change is up to you.

[cadmiumblue]

Other people seem to think I'm a terrible person. I don't think of myself as a terrible person.

 

Like anyone, I can seem mean an unapproachable. I can also be sweet and approachable. It depends on who I'm dealing with...I think most people are like this. My ex friend was very special because all of my love, my nice side, went to her. Considering how I felt about most people, it just showed how special she was and how horrible losing her was.