mhowe Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 And to the 2 posters above -- it is the strength and power and resilence to the obstacles that you have overcome that has made you who you are today. And has prepared you face whatever the future brings. Choice/control...is power. Link to comment
camus154 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 OP, Every adult walking the planet has at one time or another loved someone who didn't love them back. A whole lot of us have experienced this many times over. Not trying to take away from your experience, but it's by no means unique. And believe it or not, odds are someone from your own past has had a crush on you without your ever knowing it. Happens all the time. But you can't just sit in your room day after day wondering why your luck is so bad. After, say, college years, it's much harder to meet people and surround yourself with potential candidates. It's not like high school where you can keep your head down and wander from class to class and STILL find people you're attracted to or who might be attracted to you. The real world doesn't care so much what happens to you--it's your life to do with it as you see fit. So I have to keep coming back to the same point--are you willing to start discussing practical things you can do to get out of this slump? The large majority of your posts have revolved around bemoaning your circumstances. Ok, we understand the problem. Now how about we focus on some practical solutions? Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 I really don't know of any solutions. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 You know, aside from "turn into someone else." Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 How many solutions have you been given? MANY. You just refuse to see them. Are you that unteachable? Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 "Go out and meet people" is not really a solution...and it's the most commonly heard response to my situation. Going out and meeting people is not necessarily going to end this. I know, because I have gone out, met people, and this situation persists. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 We have given you more solutions than that too. In fact I have wasted my time typing out some responses and so have other people. Some people have typed out reams of words all very good advice that they spent at least 20 mins of their own life typing and you have disregarded it all. Link to comment
camus154 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Well, let's take a step back first. If I'm remembering your story correctly, you're unemployed and living at home. So on any given week, what do you do to surround yourself with others? Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 We have given you more solutions than that too. In fact I have wasted my time typing out some responses and so have other people. Some people have typed out reams of words all very good advice that they spent at least 20 mins of their own life typing and you have disregarded it all. I read every response, but it's hard to reply to everything. It doesn't mean I'm ignoring that person, it just means that sometimes I don't know what exactly to say. Especially when they share wounds that I don't know how to respond to. I realize that's how many may feel about my posts, but...I don't know. I guess I am a selfish, terrible person, but I'm trying not to be. I met people at my last job. I admit that I had a crush on two coworkers: a straight girl, and a gay guy. Of course it wasn't going to go anywhere. Still, it's frustrating, even when the person does like women, they just never feel that way about me. It makes me feel not good enough for anyone I want, only for people I don't want. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I know you are not terrible but you have to crawl out of your victim stance or you will never be happy. I would hate to see that. Believe me I am your normal every day person and I have done a lot to over come the difficulties of my life. You just have to be open and willing to try. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 I am. I lost 53 lbs. I am capable of changing and overcoming obstacles. This one is just so hard and it feels uncontrollable. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Why don't you read through this and your others threads and make a list of all the suggestions that you received? Then we can discuss step for step how to put some of them into practice. But it's simply not true that you haven't received concrete suggestions, but you have simply not responded to them or discarded them quickly. The main work (IMHO) is internal work. We can't do that for you, we can only give you things to think about and starting to recognize in yourself. That is not meant to make a statement about your 'value', but obviously something is not working for you at the moment, so it needs some change. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 It is not though. If you can over come weight which is a huge thing you CAN over come this too. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 I really want to...but with losing weight it was entirely within my control. I can't make another person like me. : ( Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 No you can not change others but the good news is you have control over how you react to all this. THAT is a choice. Be proactive not reactive. Link to comment
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