I'm homeless and unemployed

[Dougie_D]

I am struggling to find a place to live. I'm currently in LA and the prices are up the roof!

I can't get unemployment because technically I had quit working 4 years ago.

Family is helping me financially but only a budget I get from them. Plus, they don't know I'm out of my place.

Im kinda of clueless what do. I really don't want to live in my car...AGAIN

[Fudgie]

LA prices are ridiculous, I completely agree.

 

May I ask, why did you lose your place?

 

If I were you, I'd find a friend's house to crash for like 1-2 days while you make quick plans to get OUT of LA and find jobs in places that are cheaper to live. Minimum wage, anything. Anything to survive, you know? You won't be able to survive in LA on minimum wage alone. If you can't find a friend's place to crash, then live in your car for a couple days as you find a cheaper place to live. Roommate situation, whatever. Just find something and find a job ASAP.

[abitbroken]

Dougie,

 

Over the years you have come here talking about wanting to meet women, being on your parents dole and being a "promoter" of bands and not really making it....and thinking its beneath you to have had the job you did at Sam's Club. Hopefully now you are understanding the reality of things. The odd, or not surprising thing you mention is unemployment and not being able to get it. Why not instead of focusing on that, going back to Sam's Club and trying to get a job there, or getting ANY job you can - even if you feel it is beneath you.

 

The other idea is to move back to your home town and start over. Even if you think that is beneath you. Or apply to even a warehouse store or whatever in a cheaper town a little farther out and move there.

 

Do you have enough money to rent with a roommate or get a room for rent while you pursue getting a job again and then after that working to get off your parents dole?

 

Or maybe this is precisely what you need to hit rock bottom. Maybe you need to live at the Y, live out of your car, or answer an ad for a room for rent/roommate situation with several other guys, etc, until you can make it on your own.

 

Please put your dream of the music scene which is clearly not working on hold right now and start thinking about putting food on the table for yourself.

[Dougie_D]

I have been crashing 1-2 days.. But LA is spread out like crazy. Each friend is about 45 minutes away.

My place was demolished when I was out in the road touring with a band.

It's only been one week. I have to get roommates or not sign a lease. My credit is terrible

[Fudgie]

Demolished? As in, torn down? What about your stuff? They didn't alert you to this?

 

You need to get a job to pay rent. Time to get out of LA, dude. You need to get a job and find a situation that you can afford. LA isn't it.

 

I am with abitbroken. Put your dreams aside for now, at least until you get yourself together and get the basics (job, a place to live, food). You may have to live out of your car for a while until you get a job to make rent and find a place with roommates. You may not be able to sign a lease though with bad credit. I have little credit (just started using a credit card, heh) and I found that most places in my area run credit checks before you can sign a lease. I imagine it's worse in a place like LA.

 

Seriously, move out.

[abitbroken]

I have been crashing 1-2 days.. But LA is spread out like crazy. Each friend is about 45 minutes away.

My place was demolished when I was out in the road touring with a band.

It's only been one week. I have to get roommates or not sign a lease. My credit is terrible

 

Did you know it was being demolished? Or was it a big surprise when you got back? I am sure if it was a planned demolition, you had anywhere between 2 weeks to a year to know it was happening and put feelers out for a new place.

[Fudgie]

Yeah I'm pretty sure that BY LAW they have to give you a lot of notice. They can't just rip down your living quarters like that. I'm sure you may have had notice but may not have actually taken notice.

[Dougie_D]

Yeah, they gave the 2 month notice like 9 days after I had gone out on a 6 month tour. We had 3 legs where we had an average of 2 week break...but there was really no point for me to be looking at those times.

I can't just leave. When I came to LA the first time I literally knew 2 people. I lucked out and found a place for 2 months. Got 2 internships towards my career and eventually settled in a place with other roommates for over a year at least.

I know 5 people now(cool enough to let me crash) and that's it.

My hometown is in TN. That's a 3 day trip. Also, my parents don't know about my place.

So, I'm actually WORSE off leaving outside the LA area. I don't know any other areas

[MasterPo]

I've been fortunate in the fact that I've never been homeless but I once read that all of us are only a few paychecks away from it at any one time. Here is some research that may help you and others that read ENA. All I can do is give you some information and that may be the tool you need to survive. I wish you luck.

 

Some reading to give you some thought to the idea of leaving LA.

 

link removed

 

Informative blog regarding issues that affect the homeless and ideas on how to help if you wish.

 

link removed

[Fudgie]

Jobs-wise, the only one you've had is one at Sam's Club. So you really could only get something like that now. Minimum wage-ish.

 

I know you know people in LA but how the heck are you going to make it on your own. They aren't going to let you crash forever. You're eventually going to have to go out and get a job and make rent. And how are you going to do that with a minimum wage job in LA? You can't. It's too expensive. It still boggles my mind. I had a boyfriend who lived in LA while I dated him (We were LD) and it was crazy how expensive everything was. He comes to my town and he was like "WOW THINGS ARE CHEAP". Yeah, because I'm not in the land of celebs, bub.

 

The only way you can afford to live in LA is if you find a high-paying job, NOW. Which I don't think you can right now, so you're going to have to move elsewhere cheaper because your 5 friends aren't going to let you crash for as long as you need them to let you crash.

 

So yes, you'll be worse off staying in the LA area. You don't have to go back to TN but you need to move out of LA. Don't know the areas? Learn about them. That's what people do when they need to move. I went to college in a totally different state and had to live on my own and make do and I did find. You learn where things are, you learn about other people, you just adapt.

[tiredofvampires]

Actually, I remember in the thread prior to your tour, you said you'd have to move out and posters were trying to tell you to forego the tour to stabilize your housing needs first, and you said if you came back and you had no home, you'd just crash with buddies.

 

This is the result of those priorities.

 

I don't think you've hit bottom yet. There are no magic get-out-of-"jail" free cards if you spend your energies on live-like-a-rockstar galavanting roadtrips with little pay and no future, and trying to pick up chicks. Right now life is telling you with a sledgehammer what you've done wrong in figuring this.

 

You can still sink further than this, so you're going to have to choose your next steps in life on a completely different basis than you have up until now to re-route this collision course.

[metrogirl]

Major retailers will be hiring for seasonal work. Sometimes that work can turn into something more permanent. I realize it's not the 'gig' you were hoping for but it pays the bills when push comes to shove. We can't all have that fairy tale ending, sometiimes we have to take the good with the bad and hope we can make things better.

[abitbroken]

Yeah, they gave the 2 month notice like 9 days after I had gone out on a 6 month tour. We had 3 legs where we had an average of 2 week break...but there was really no point for me to be looking at those times.

I can't just leave. When I came to LA the first time I literally knew 2 people. I lucked out and found a place for 2 months. Got 2 internships towards my career and eventually settled in a place with other roommates for over a year at least.

I know 5 people now(cool enough to let me crash) and that's it.

My hometown is in TN. That's a 3 day trip. Also, my parents don't know about my place.

So, I'm actually WORSE off leaving outside the LA area. I don't know any other areas

 

This situation is called an emergency. If a child is critically ill, if your parent died, if they are tearing your house down - it constitutes an emergency situation that you CAN leave for. In the two week stints you were home, yes, you could have pounded the pavement daily and told the landlords what the situation was. I found a large apartment building who told me that they didn't have anything yet, but that they regularly had turnover when leases were up. You could have been on the waiting list and had a place to go immediately or a month after you got back. You could have even paid for a month's rent that would have been the month before you came back just to have a place and moved your stuff over in that next 2 week period.

 

Also, what did you do with money when you were on tour? Did you fritter every penny away? And if you were not perfoming in the shows, did you really need to be there every day?

 

I think you have not presented a good reason why TN is worse than LA. You just need 3 days of gas money and food to get there and you KNOW people. Maybe cousin fred or grandma or mom and dad would let you stay with them for a few weeks or maybe miraculously you will get motivated and apply for jobs before you get there. A few top companies are actually headquartered in TN. It might not be the music industry, but you could get back on your feet, have some pride, get off your parents dole and return to the LA with a bank account. Or if you haven't made it after so many yeras, maybe its just not for you.

 

I can try to rationalize all day with you but I have a feeling, Dougie, that you just want things to fall in your lap.

[Dougie_D]

Well, I took advice from posters to leave TN in the first place. Everyone says to stay away from NEGATIVE people and people that try to manipulate you and stuff. Leaving TN was the best thing FOR me.

My parents would be closer and they would be more IN CONTROL of my life. My "friends" will want to bother me and will want to hang out with me. I don't have just one group of friends...so I felt over consumed everyday. Plus, most of my friends in TN are not as driven or passionate about music or whatever their dreams are.

Being LA keeps everyone in check. Keeps everyone driven. It's just like NYC or a major city. Everyone out here is trying to follow their dreams and are not just settling.

That's the reason why I would be afraid to go back to TN. People around me will not allow me to focus on really what I want...and when I start to do something, they'll try to "tag" along. That's EXTREMELY annoying.

Also -- I'm not trying to be rude, but if NO-ONE has ever been in my position or a similar it's going to be really hard for me to agree. It's NOT easy to "research" new places to live. There is an entire process. Let's pretend I pick Austin, TX. Ok...but do I DRIVE all the way out there FIRST? Or do I browse online? Lets say I find a place online and then I go all the way to "check" it out and it's not as what I expected. Well, now, I'm definitely screwed.

What happens if somehow I move away from LA and I apply for job in LA and I get the job! I will have to find a place to live AGAIN?!

My life sucks!!!

[itsallgrand]

Major retailers will be hiring for seasonal work. Sometimes that work can turn into something more permanent. I realize it's not the 'gig' you were hoping for but it pays the bills when push comes to shove. We can't all have that fairy tale ending, sometiimes we have to take the good with the bad and hope we can make things better.

 

Exactly what I was thinking.

 

Why not just pick up one or two jobs for the holiday season and make a bunch of money? Work your ass off for a while, get some money in your pocket, rent a cheap place and figure out where you want to go next.

 

I'm familiar with musicians - and haven't known one yet who didn't have at least one other job.

[abitbroken]

Well--- I am sure that posters 4 years ago said to stay away from negative people and maybe they encouraged you to give things a shot - but you gave it a shot and you refused to listen to people who said to get a job until your dream takes off or stop being supported by your parents. Every dream has an expiration date. If you don't make it by a certain time, there is cause to be that you are not doing something you are suited for, etc.

 

Did you realize that by giving you money, your parents are controlling you even when you are far away from them.

 

If you were to move back to TN, you have to learn to tell people "no, i can't hang out, I have to work." You can't have a life where people call you up and you agree to doing everything that they want to do just because they say it. You could live with your folks until you found a job, and then MOVE OUT and don't take a penny from them after that.

 

What happens if somehow I move away from LA and I apply for job in LA and I get the job! I will have to find a place to live AGAIN?!

 

You don't have a place to live NOW, so what are you worried about?

 

Also, as far as going to other cities, I moved twice to other cities for jobs. And you know, they knew I needed to find a place. What I did was looked in the local paper (online for the last one) for roommate situations and took the first one that sounded halfway reasonable (within a certain distance of work - not one block but not 1 hour either), the roommate was my gender, didn't have 100 pets and had what sounded like a stable and reasonable job. I told the landlord what i'd be making roughly and that I could afford to give them a deposit now and the first month's rent when I got my first check. And when I got to know the town, I moved to another apartment.

 

Also, you can go into a weekly rental situation or a room for rent. If I can relocate anywhere, you can too. Your parents might give you the first rent and security deposit in exhcange for being cut off from then on, or like i say, get a roomie or a room for rent or even live at the Y or a super 8 motel until you are working for a week or two to have a check to find a place.

 

It sounds like you sort of went to LA to run away from your family and friends also.

[Fudgie]

Doug,

 

You use the Internet. It's how people relocate and find out more about areas to move to as well as places to visit. You could relocate to an area just outside of LA so you are near the city but don't have to pay the high costs. You go online and research jobs, available housing, and even stores nearby and ask on forums for the locals to see what the area is like.

 

You are just making excuses at this point. If you don't want to go back to TB, fine, but how are you going to afford a new place without a job or anything?

 

You know what I think is going to happen? I think you're going to fret for a while, spend a few nights couch surfing, then go back to your parents and tell them you lost your place. You'll tuck your tail in between your legs as they belittle you, then they will give you more money so you can move into a new place without ever needing a job. You are constantly being enabled by your parents to essentially stay a dependent teenager yet you are doing nothing to be independent. When are you going to snip the cord?

 

Yes, your life is sucky right now. What are you going to do to change it to make it not suck?

[tiredofvampires]

Also -- I'm not trying to be rude, but if NO-ONE has ever been in my position or a similar it's going to be really hard for me to agree. It's NOT easy to "research" new places to live.

 

Actually, you'd be surprised how many people have been in your position. Most people in this country have either been in your situation, know someone who is, or used to be in your situation. So chances are, lots of people here have been. It's not a good bind to be in, but it's hardly rare, and it's not insurmountable.

 

I, myself, am in the thick of the weirdest, most fractured living/housing situation I've ever been in. Last year and this, I was almost facing homelessness (and without family help, I certainly would have been on the street) due to an unacceptable situation involving health and safety where my apartment was (is). So I had to hunt for places to stay just like you, and again find myself in the process now. And I've done this more than once in my life, only now it's TONS easier to secure a place because you have the internet, and CRAIGSLIST.

 

If you are not picky (and you shouldn't be, because the alternative is homelessness), if you type in LA and "housing", looking for one bedroom in an apartment, you'll find reams of places open and showing prospective tenants. And let me tell you, I can speak to this because I live in the highest priced rental market in the entire nation. Beats out LA, and I'm financially strained for anywhere in the country. Places get snatched up very, very fast in an owner's market, where there's a glut of demand for cheap places. So you have to call asap when you see an opening, be there to see it asap, and make a decision on it asap.

 

If you are not being picky, you have your pick of some room in a house or apartment, and could be moved in by the end of the week if you have your security deposit in hand, and hand it to the manager/landlord on the spot. Make sure it's not a signed lease, because then they may check your credit (even if your parents are paying) and also, if it's unbearable, you'll be obligated to stay for 6 mos-1 year. There are many "month-to-month" rentals. Just come prepared to secure your deposit to show you're serious, make sure you'll have enough for the first month's rent, and this is a verbal contract deal. Remember that to move out, you need to give 30-days notice.

 

But if you do that, you can find something and be moving in like I said in days.

 

Then there is all of SoCal, South of LA, which is a little cheaper, and you can commute if you find work in LA. You don't have to go as far as Austin. You've got a TON of places that are more modest in California than LA, and a ROOM is all you need. And perhaps a monthly commuter pass on the Coaster or Amtrak.

 

And itsallgrand is spot on -- I don't know any musicians who aren't working other, unrelated, "settling" jobs, either. Until people in all fields (particularly in the arts) hit the big-time, they are nearly always doing side work that has nothing to do with their dreams. In fact, doing crappy jobs and working your way up IS The Dream in this country. But this is all old stuff. We've been through this stuff ad nauseum in other threads, and it doesn't sink in.

 

Maybe you'll have an epiphany with this dire time being what it is, and give yourself a shot at life, instead of continuing on the road you're on, which is to become a self-made bum.

 

If you stop putting up roadblocks and "Just do it", you'll see it's a lot more doable.

 

It's easier to fail in life than succeed, Dougie.

 

I think on some level that is way below consciousness, you're choosing the easier way which you are more familiar with, which is banking on failure. Only you dress it in the cloak of "not settling."

 

STOP DOING THAT AND GET ON CRAIGSLIST. It's actually NOT HARD TO RESEARCH, ALL YOU NEED IS A COMPUTER, A PHONE TO MAKE CALLS, AND EYEBALLS (and lucky you, you have a car, so with the wheels, you're mobile to go see places at short notice), but it takes persistent effort. Which some would call "not that easy", and others would just call, "doing what needs to be done."

[Dougie_D]

First off:

Can we please lay off on the "job" thing right now. Yes, I get it. I will need a crappy worthless job eventually. Also, the money my parents give me was equilvalent to what my income was when I did "have a job". So nothing has really changed except that I actually don't work for my income anymore.

I have already visited places but roommates are another process. Especially difficult online. I may like the room, but if roommates don't like me, I'm screwed.

Also, I've checked out bachelor or studio apts. I don't have any furniture. That's extra money I would have to spend.

Also, it's just annoying traveling an hour here, an hour there.. Places outside of LA. Like Huntington beach or Pasadena.

I'm exhausted and I seriously just feel like giving up. What's really messed up is, my so called "friends" around LA moved and relocated while I was on tour. I had mentioned about being their Roomie whenever they came back but they just never cared.

I even have helped them move since I've been back!!! Stuff like that hurts me.

[Fudgie]

Roommates shouldn't be that much of an issue. Just find a place offering a small bedroom for cheap. Sharing a bathroom and kitchen is not that bad, I've done that for years in the past. I agree with ToV, try not to sign a lease and go month to month.

 

It is all about working your way to the top from the ground up. A very good friend of mine graduated in my year with a 4.0 music degree. She got a very low paying stipend job in the big city. That was all that was really there for her because she has no experience since she is fresh out of school..She will be commuting a lot and will be poor for a while. That's life. I have confidence she can do it. She found a place and is just going with the flow. That's what you have to do, especially in the music industry.

[Miss Firecracker]

Dougie,

 

No one, not even your friends, are going to care really. If you don't care enough to work, why should they care about it?

 

You don't want anyone to mention you getting a worthless job? The job you have now is worthless, since it pays nothing. They are just using you out there.

[blueidealist24]

How long do you have left of this current internship? Like everyone else said, if you can't afford an apartment, you're going to have to rent a room. If worse comes to worse and you run out of friends' places to stay at, you can stay in a hostel for awhile while you look for a place. Btw, I REALLY think you should get a part time job, even if it's only 15 hours a week, then maybe eventually you could afford a better place. I disagree with people who say you should move back home, because I've read your threads about your parents before and it sounds like their influence only hurts you.

[Miss Firecracker]

Your parents, or at least your father, did say he was ashamed when you were working an honest job. He made you feel worthless, so I can see how you got in this situation.

[itsallgrand]

Why do you think the job has to be crappy and worthless? I really don't get that. Simply having a strong work ethic in itself, being willing to DO, is meaningful.

 

You are making this harder on yourself than it needs to be. And really limiting yourself as far as what you think is gonna make you happy.

 

Some of my favorite people are people who have reached their vision of the "big time" as far as their field or vision went. And you know what? I laugh because these same people talk about how much fun they would have working at Tim Hortons (a major coffee shop chain in Canada) slinging coffee, and things of that nature, with equal enthusiasm. These people taught and teach me so much....they really found this secret to being happy and successful...that it isn't about landing somewhere, or even where you are at or what you are doing...it's finding joy and meaning in whatever situation.

 

^This isn't bs either. Because really think about it. Any success also comes with added responsibility. You may call serving up coffee, or whatever, a crappy meaningless job, but it doesn't have to be and it honestly is what some people can be happy doing in various points in their life. Everything EVERYTHING has its red and black , it's debts and pay.

[Fudgie]

Dougie,

 

I work in a hospital on night shifts and I know this job will help me a lot when I advance in my career and finish grad school too. I don't get paid a lot. My days vary from being very laid back and being horrifically busy. I change so many adult diapers and I deal with many difficult and sickly patients. But you know what, I enjoy it. I like going to work and the nights fly by for me. I like getting a paycheck and having my own bills and rent payments ON MY OWN. My boyfriend and I share a place and he pays for half too. Independence is great. You can learn to love your job, even if it's kinda hard. It's about attitude and mindset.