Back together and she moved in with me....good right? wrong.

[markm]

My girlfriend is a travel nurse.

We met here in Arizona which was her 1st work assignment.

A year into our relationship, she took two other work assignments.

One was in Denver in February. In Denver, she met a new guy and dated him and formed a relationship with eachother.

I was a disaster, crying every day and feeling like absolute hell.

She would not let me come see her, and said it was over.

Finally, in April she agreed to have me come visit her.

I did, and she started to have feelings for me again.

So we flew back and forth to visit eachother and see eachother again.

A month after that, she took an assignment in Portland, Oregon.

I visted her a couple of times there, and we began to become very close again.

unfortunately, this other guy has flown up to see her too.

When I find out he goes to see her I become furious of course.

Twice she slept with him when he visited, even though she said she wouldn't and to trust her.

I said that I would love to have her come back to Arizona for her next assignment so we could work on things.

Well, she decided to come back to Arizona for her new assingment so that we could be together.

In fact, she moved in with me!

Well, I am on cloud 9, right? Well, sort of.

We sleep in the same bed and are often Make love.

I have very deep feelings for her, even though she says she isn't quite there yet.

Anyhow, things have been pretty nice 1 1/2 months into this.

Here's the bad part:

She has made several girlfriends friends (other nurses) while in Denver whom have moved to San Francisco for their next assignments.

Unfortuantly, one of them is the other guy and he is friends with her friends.

We had discussed her visiting San Fran before she got here.

I told her it was not a good idea for her to go if she was to come here.

I also told her not to come here if she didn't stop seeing the other guy.

Well, she bought tickets the other day to see her friends.

And it looks like she is gonna stay at the other guys apartment for her visit!!!!!

She says nothings gonna happen and not to worry.

How can I trust her when she has said this in the past, and she still slept with him???

This guy emails her all the time, and calls her all the time.

He's obviously gonna try to get back with her while shes there.

The crazy thing is that she understands my point of view on this and does it anyway.

At one point she invited me to come along, which was great!

Problem solved.

But then she took back the invitation because she didnt want any drama while shes there.

She says that she would feel uncomfortable with me and the other guy there at the same time, and fears a fight or something.

Well, first of all I have no problem since she lives with my and we are together.

She didn't want the other guy to get angry if I was there and if she would be talking to me instead of him.

What??? Hello! He knows your living with me and we are together, whats the big secret?

So of course we have a big fight and I tell her she needs to move out if this is the way it's gonna be.

So she began packing up her stuff a bit.

I dont want her to move out.

I love her so much, but this is killing me.

She flew home today to Wisconsin for a week to visit her family and newborn nephew.

When she gets back she has 3 days here and then she leaves for San Fran for 5 days.

 

What the hell am I to do?

How can I let her go there?

[Mun]

I told her it was not a good idea for her to go if she was to come here.

I also told her not to come here if she didn't stop seeing the other guy.

Well, she bought tickets the other day to see her friends.

And it looks like she is gonna stay at the other guys apartment for her visit!!!!!

Hi there,

It looks to me like she knows how you feel, but it makes no difference. She does whatever she wants.

I dont want her to move out.

I love her so much, but this is killing me.

 

What the hell am I to do?

How can I let her go there?

You should let her move out. It seems to me that this girl does not respect you, because you are not consistent. You will tell her the consequences of her actions, yet you don't follow trough. Even small children learn that they can get away with stuff when parents do this.

 

You need to say something and mean it, otherwise she, and anyone else will walk all over you. There really is no way you can stop her from going. She has already bought the tickets --even though she knows how you feel about it. I don't see how you can stop her.

[avman]

Listen to Muneca. She's hit it dead on. This girl is playing all the men so she doesn't have to give any of them up. Their feelings (including yours) are of no consideration to her.

 

Let her go. I know you love her, but she doesn't love you back the way you want her to. And she certainly doesn't respect you. You are going to get hurt even worse if this relationship continues.

[SuperDave71]

I could NOT agree more. She had the option to stay with several friends yet she stays with HIM? I don't think so. Let her move out and start NC with her. Take off the blinders and throw out the desperation...you will see clearly what she is doing to you. Please don't get me wrong..I am NOT trying to hurt you my friend but you did ask advice. I wish you luck but as far as this is concerned...let her go. Its obvious she doesn't care about your feelings.

 

 

 

-Be Strong,

 

 

SuperDave71

[markm]

I spoke with her yesterday over the phone.

She said she was gonna ask her other friends if she could stay with them.

The problem is her friends apartment is packed with other friends who are coming into town too.

[chai714]

This chick is a player. All the signs are there, but you're not willing to fully accept them, due to your insecurities. Do not allow her to walk all over you. Let her go to her trip, and give her a 30 day notice, that she needs to move out. What will you have after this? Your pride. YOu'll look back a few months/year later and not regret this one. Chicks like this are not worth keeping, especially since she shows you ZERO respect.

[Scout]

Do not allow her to walk all over you. Let her go to her trip, and give her a 30 day notice, that she needs to move out. What will you have after this? Your pride. YOu'll look back a few months/year later and not regret this one.

 

Please, PLEASE follow this advice. And mean it!!

[markm]

She is probably only here for 2 more months anyway.

That is how much longer her assignment is for.

Then she must reassign to a new job possibly in southern Cali.

[Scout]

If I were you, I'd have her bags packed and waiting for her when she comes back from her trip. This woman is a user. Why are you allowing her to use you?

 

You're just going to end up hating her, and hating yourself for letting her do it. Worse, you may end up thinking most women are like this, and you will have emotional scars from the experience.

 

Is all that worth it just to have an extra two months with her?

[markm]

have her bags packed when she gets back from visiting her family in Wisconsin, or when she gets back from San Francisco?

There are only 3 days between the time she gets back from Wisonsin and when she leaves for San Fran.

[Scout]

Have her bags packed and waiting for her when she returns from staying with the other guy.

[Mjane]

I say show her the door today or this weekend.

Man, I feel bad for you. But geez, this woman is such bad news.

Don't get manipulated into letting her stay the next two months. I'm sure she'll sweet talk you. Throw sex at you. Whatever. But she is only using you. Tell her she has to be out the day she returns from Wisconsin. She can get a hotel for all you care.

[Scout]

Yes, to be honest I would have shown her the door a long time ago. It appears she thinks of you as a hotel.

 

I want you to realize that you deserve better than this. In fact, no one deserves to be treated the way she is treating you. I sense that for some reason, you are extra vulnerable to a person like this; perhaps there is loneliness in your life, and you feel without her, you are absolutely alone. The sad fact is, you are already alone, with her. And she will eventually leave you anyway.

 

Why not teach her a little lesson so she thinks twice before she tries this with someone else? Show her the door. Let her learn that her callous behavior has consequences. If we don't teach people like her this basic fact, they will continue to play other people.

[markm]

Well she just left for San Fran this morning.

I didn't say anything much about it since she got back from Wisconsin, but she could see that I wasn't pleased.

She said she was sorry and that she felt bad.

I said that she didn't feel that bad, or else she wouldn't be going.

I told her she is getting exactly what she wants so why feel bad?

She was asking for hugs from me last night and this morning.

I just let her hug me while I didn't hug back, except once but with just one arm and a pat on the back.

She drove herself to the airport.

She said that she was excited to come watch my hockey game (I play hockey) the day she gets back from San Fran.

She'll have to stay home, she won't be welcome to my games.