markm

gee, that's great.

LOL, I'm an idiot.

She would orgasm thru penetration. I've made her orgasm with oral, but she prefers penetration. She said it only affected her stomach though. I remember it would go thru spasms. After that, she was done. Didn't want any more.

It depends. I can go a while. But she could finish right away sometimes. I like to make things last a long time and enjoy the moment. But, she would take anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes. I enjoy foreplay a lot, but she mostly wanted to skip that and go right to penetration. Once she finished, she was no longer into it at all. And that made it hard for me to stay in it, so I would get turned off and stop. I felt like I was hurting her or banging away at a dead body or something. The first night she came over it went pretty well, very hot. But the next night it was back to the old BS.

I hope you're kidding. They aren't supposed to leave the guy out to dry. Many times I wouldn't finish. Once she was done, she looked like she was in pain when I would keep going. So I would just stop and that would be it. Then she would appologize and ask me what she should do. God that was such a turn off. What should you do??? How about not making me feel like I'm raping you after you finish. And at least do something to satisfy me besides saying "im sorry" and leaving me out to dry.

I know, I know. ](*,)

LOL, thanks! It's over guys. No need to worry. I stopped by her place late last night. She was mad at me but offered to let me stay the night. I got into bed with her and tried to cuddle but she wouldn't. I asked what she did for the night she didn't answer right away. I found out she went on a date with the other guy. I got out of bed, put on my clothes and told her to never contact me again. Well, she rolled her eyes at me. Well, that set me off. I said some pretty nasty things, crushed some flowers that the guy bought for her and left. She was so pissed. On the way home I texted her some nasty messages about how I felt about her. I realize my actions have been childish. I just was so frusterated and I just cannot deal with her. I've been down this road with her in the past. I think I said/texted such nasty things becuase I wanted to just seal the deal. I let things go way to far and it got the better of me. I'm more mad than hurt. I feel betrayed and used. I proceeded to text her a bunch of nasty thoughts. I'm sure I'll never hear from her again. To answer the questions about her "poonannie" it was never that great anyway. She was pretty boring in bed and the other night reminded me of that. She only ever wanted missionary and usually finished first. She would appologize but just leave me out to dry. That was usually how it went. I used to have to try to finish. yay.

*Update* (Long) Ok, haven't posted since 4-12 when she called me as she was driving home at 2:30 am. That was after another 2 weeks of NC. She then called me the day after leaving a message thanking me for talking. Since then, she flew back home to Wisconsin to visit her family for a week. She called me several times, leaving messages about thanking me again for talking with her last time. Then a message about how her computer was acting up and she needed help with it. Then a lonnnnng message asking me to call and how she knew I told her parents about the idiot she was dating. She thanked me for telling them, saying it upset her but it showed that I cared about her, etc. And how she didn't like how things ended the last time we saw eachother becuase we didn't hug or kiss. I found out that the new guy broke it off with her (yes again! 4th or 5th time. LOL!) She flew back from Wisconsin early this week. I tried calling her to at least return the call about the computer issue but her phone said it was temp out of service. Yesterday she emails me, "Can you believe my luck, I lost my phone in the airport. Now I have to buy another one, another $200 down the drain." So, I replied, "Sorry to hear that. That explains the temp out of service message." She replies, "When did you try to call?" Then another message, "Do you think we could go to Costco to get me another phone?" Later I replied, "sure" Then she replies later, "Got a new phone, guess I couldn't wait. But you can call me now if you want A few hours later, I go out for Happy Hour with my friend and his sister. We sat outside on the patio bar. A few hours go by and I see Karen (my ex) walk by with some friends! So I go over and tap her on the shoulder and said "hi". It surprised the heck out of her! I then said hello to her friends and quickly said bye. She asked why I had to go so fast and I just replied I've got to go. So I sit back down. She then comes over and says hello to me and my friends for a few minutes and then went back inside the resteraunt. I was about to go but I had to go back to see her before I left. So I got up and went insided the resteraunt. She was with a bunch of people from work. She got up and we talked for quite a while right in front of the whole resteraunt (felt like an hour). We talked about how things were going, etc. She began crying several times. She was saying it was just still hard. But I just talked with a big ole smile on my face the whole time. She even asked why I was smiling so much. She said she came over the other day to my house to see if I was home, but I wasn't. She didn't like that we didn't hug the last time we saw eachother. She said that whenever she does new activities she wonders if I would enjoy doing them too. She doesn't like not being able to tell me about the things she does. She teared up several times. She inquired about my dating situation several time, but I was very vague about it. Well, she gave me a BIG hug twice, and we gave a little peck on the lips. She asked me to give her call. She asked for a second if I wanted to hang out with her and her friends, But I said was going to a party. But when she sat back down I asked if she would like me to stay, but she then said no, because she didn't want to ignore her friends. So I said "OK" and left. I didn't get a call, or a text message after that. Thought that I would have. Now, I can't get her out of my mind again. I wondered if I should start initiating communcation since she has been calling, email me, and seems to miss me. Perhaps she is waiting for me to make the next move?

I agree 100%

I don't care if it sounds needy or not. Breaking NC to discuss the relationship is a "no-no". Furthermore, the email is full of accusations, etc. Don't send the email.

Don't send any email to her. Especially an email discussing the relationship. It will just push her further away. Just relax, let her come to you. I know you hate to hear this, as would I. But, it's the truth. Stay strong, stay NC.

Update: I'm doing well. Dating a bit. After another 2 weeks of NC..... Karen (my ex) texts me Sunday at 2:30 am. The text said: "Are you awake? I'm driving and I don't know that I should be" So I reply, "yes". Well, then she calls, and the whole time spoke in a kind of wimpery voice. She had a couple of drinks and was driving home (idiot) I told her to pull over and not drive. She asked me to stay on the phone with her while she drive home. She asked how I've been, etc. I asked, "Why are you calling me?" She replies, "I don't know who else to call." (I thought to myself......ummm how 'bout your new bf????) I told her, "things have been good, and a lot of stuff has happened since you left." She asked me, "Please tell me what's been going on with you" At first I said I wasn't gonna tell her, but she insisted. Well we chatted a bit, I didnt say much. I mostly listened and when I spoke it was with an impartial monotone voice. She went on to say that she was going home to visit her family in Wisconsin this week. She then told me that she transfered to another Hospital (she's a nurse) which is about 40 miles away, and she moved to another apartment. She said, "I had to tell you I was moving. I know it's over, but if I didn't tell you that I moved then it would be over-over" (ok.....what does that mean?) She goes on to say that she was thinking she should move back home to Wisconsin. (after meeting the new guy she said she was thinking of not going back) Toward the end of the call I could tell she was fighting back tears and says, "I miss you". She says that it's hard to not talk to me, etc. Then she thanked me for talking with her, and we said goodbye. The next morning she calls again, I let it go to voicemail. She thanked me for talking to her, etc. I couldn't understand much more cause she sounded like she just woke up. Well, she hasn't contacted me since. But, something must have happened for her to call me at 2:30 am and say she misses me, thinks about moving back home, didn't know who else to call, etc. Something is up.

No, don't tell her. If she keeps asking, just say you're not sure how you feel. She's probably feeling insecure becuase of the new guy rejecting her. So, she is looking for a "pick me up" from you. You know the drill, let her chase you some more. Don't make it to easy. Sure wish I was in your position.

Damn....I'm thinking of her more and more now. Been NC for 2 weeks now after a brief run-in with her, and 3 weeks NC before that (exept she was texting me, but I never replied) I'm overthinking all the good times, what I would have done different, & what I would do now if she were here. I miss her so much! I know it's normal. But, I was feeling fine before, why is it harder now????

Oh no, of course not. I was just saying that I didn't anticipate feeling like I lost my best friend too.

Dammit! Why am I feeling worse? It feels as though the more time that passes the more I miss her. I was doing great the last few days! I felt like I didn't want her at all. Now, I just wish I could see her. I can't believe I haven't spoken to her in so long. I have a date with a new girl on Sunday which is good. But, it doesn't make me feel any better. Guess I'm just not ready to lose her, even though it looks as though I have. The worst part is going about life without sharing it with her. I am realizing now more than anything.....she was my best friend. I'm sure maintaining NC is the best, and I will continue it. But I just wonder how she is feeling, if she misses me. unfortunately, I'm sure her new relationship is doing better (for now), and I am becoming a distant memory. I hate this.

yeah, me 2 man

Sorry to hear all this man. Sounds very familiar though. My ex and I dated for 3 years. We lived together for about a year. But she moved out because she wasn't feeling loved by me. Well, right after she moved out she strung me along by calling, coming over, sleeping with me, wanting to move back, showing lots of feelings. But all of a sudden 3 weeks after she moved out she met a guy and moved on with him. I don't think girls fall out of love that quickly. But sometimes they send subtle messages that we are supposed to pick up on. Well, if we don't, they hang on to us until something else comes along. And when they do, they feel like they were upfront with you by giving you those subtle messages rather than just coming right out and expressing their problems to you. Nice eh!

Hmmm.....selfish friends. I'm sure they are doing what they think is best for you. But, to say they'll stop being your friend is BS. I have a few friends that kept going back to the wrong girl, and when they were with them we didn't hang out much at all. Well, that's what happeneds when friends are in relationships. Their focus is on their girl/boyfriend. That is normal. Anyhow, your friends are being pretty selfish. btw....do your friends have boyfriends of their own?

Ok, so I've been doing my best lately. I am not hurting anymore really, and I often feel like I dont want her anymore. But I still miss her. I wish I could just talk to her about my day like I used to. She was my best friend. I think about her most of the day even though I'm busy with other things. The toughest part is when I wake up she is automatically on my mind, and when I'm going to sleep I struggle with knowing she is with someone else. I do still analyze things, etc. I know she extended her job here in Arizona, but the job is kind of far away and she is moving to another apartment this weekend that is farther away too. Everyday is another day I haven't heard from her and it makes me sad. I guess I am hoping she contacts me even though I told her not to. Most of my memories for the past 3 years involved her, so any story I tell usually involves her. Living alone at home is becoming normal now. It is feeling less empty here. I just really wish she would call, I miss her terribly. unfortunately, she is with another man and I don't think I could ever forgive her anyway. I feel bad because I would like to have her back, but she is with someone else. So I feel like if she ever came back I could never accept/forgive her, even though i would like to. Funny thing, I feel bad becuase I have been moving forward, feeling less hurt, feeling less for her and wanting her less. Weird eh? A couple of days ago she sent an email to a friend saying how she has fun with the new guy. But it is still hard letting me go but felt it was for the better. (hmmmm....still thinking about me and trying to justify her actions???) It has been almost 2 weeks since I last had contact with her (she came over to pick stuff up), and had about 3 weeks of NC before that (even though she was contacing me).

Reading about you possibly meeting another guy got me kinda pissed off. People come to this forum becuase they've lost the one they love, and can't imagine themselves with anyone else, etc. But, you are already getting to know some other guy and set a time to meet for breakfast? And it sounds like you could either take the ex or the new guy, either one works. Sorry, but that hit a sore spot on me. My ex moved out but we were still together. In fact, she was constantly wanting to spend all her time with me, sleep with me, was upset if I didn't call, etc. But at the same time she got together with some "friend" at work that she started noticing, and once she found comfort in him I was history. Nice eh! So if I misread your post, I appologize. But if you really want your ex back, you wouldn't be so quick to move on to some other guy. Worse yet, feel indifferent towards which one you get. I went thru that one too! Grrrrrrrrr.

Thanks guys. Yeah, I am getting better bit by bit. And I've noticed that my posts are becoming less frequent. I think I have been making our relationship better in my head than it really was. For quiet a while I felt that I didn't want her anymore, but was too scared to end it. When she moved out I was half relieved and half sad, kind of wanting her to move back, but we weren't on a break as far as I knew. Then, she meets another guy, I freak out and want her back soooo bad! I think I want her because of the familiarity. But, I can't even fathom the idea of her with another guy. And I am certain they are snuggled together as I type this post. (Ahhhhhhh! Torture!!!) Just felt like she was always my girl (good or bad). I guess I have some growing up to do. I bet if she came back I would feel great at first but then get the unsure feelings would come back again. Jeez, I can't win eh? What a dope.

none at all.

I only post here. My thread is so long becuase I just like to document how I feel on it. I suppose it is more difficult for me to let go than others. Not sure why I can't just let go. But I have continued with NC. I really don't want to talk to my friends and family about it anymore, so I post feeling and updates here instead.