markm

She had it setup on Outlook Express on my computer. One day I opened it and saw that her emails would come in on it. I vowed not to check it again. But I did this morning, and now I deleted the account so that won't happen again. (that was tough)

What does that mean?

Well, I've been doing better. Sometimes I feel just fine and then I feel like crap again. The other day I met a girl. She seemed pretty interested and we were both flirting with eachother. She asked if I had a card and I didn't have one with me so she gave me her card and I asked her to write her number on it. So, after "the 2 day wait" I call her last night and we chat for a bit. All of a sudden she says, "I have to tell you I have a boyfriend. I should have told you, but I didn't want to. I did think you were gorgeous though." Ummm...ok.....I was confused. So I just said, "Allright then. I guess I'm a bit confused, but that's cool" That was it. I threw her number away and felt like total crap right afterwards. I really miss Karen. I hate sticking to this NC stuff. She ended up extending her contract here in Arizona until June. So, obviously things are good with her new guy, ugh. Kind of pissed how her visit ended 1 week ago when she got her mail. I told her how I knew all about her new guy being on drugs, drunk, sleeping around on her etc. I was firm with her and she cried a bit when I told her my family was in town and she wasn't around to be part of it. Then just as she walked out the door I caved and asked her to come back for a sec. She just wanted to get going though. (I regret that) She seemed turned off when I did that. I still see her emails (sorry guys). She had a good time skiing last week with the new guy. Apparently, he is giving up drinking for a bit becuase St. Patty's day was a big "wake up call" when he got arrested. (yeah, right) And she thinks that things should go OK until she gets stupid and rips him apart again, but doesn't expect that to happen. So she's gonna see how long things last this time around. (jeez, that's a lot of drama for a 6 week relationship) Funny thing, I noticed she keeps all of the messages I've sent to her.

Sorry you feel so bad. I don't mean to sound harsh, but 1 week?!?! If it doesn't last 1 week it's not really a big deal is it? Try 3 years dude. You were already holding hands, etc. after 1 week? That freaks some girls out. Anyway, just ignore her and aske someone else.

I did implement NC for 3.5 weeks. I only broke it with an email telling her to stop emailing me jokes and to leave me alone. Then she came over to get her mail and we chatted for a bit, which didn't end on such a great note. I'm so pissed off at her for moving on with some guy so quickly. And to learn she slept with him......undescribable. F-ing hurts like hell.

Yeah, being the rebound sucks. But, not even being considered a rebound sucks even more! I know what you mean. Well, we all need to have some damn dignity around here, myself included. For the last month my ex is with someone else whom is a potsmoking, drunk, permiscuous, loser. I doubt it will last as she is already weary of him but still pines after this idiot whatever. Well, i'm sure it won't last and if she comes running back to me I'd feel like a 2nd class piece of crap if I took her back. And if she didn't come back, I would feel like "Damn! I can't believe didn't even consider coming back to me!" We all want our exes to realize they made a big mistake and come running back so that we can hurt them and tell them to go screw off. Poetic Justice! Well, it rarely turns out that way, so don't get your hopes up. We all know there are TONS of other people out there, but we are just to lazy to go back out there and get them. It is soooo much eaiser to feel sorry for ourselves.

The breakup happened Feb 20th (my B-day) I told her to not contact me anymore! But she kept texting, emailing, once in a while. I was on N/C for 3+ weeks until 3 days ago I emailed her to stop sending me email jokes, etc. So , as you can see I did implement NC for 3+ weeks. She may miss me, but not enough to get rid of the new guy and come back to me. Hell, she went right on and slept with him, and went on a ski trip to Denver for the week.

I haven't posted on a couple of days so that I could step away from all this. But here is an update I guess. I broke 3 weeks of NC the other day by emailing her to tell her to stop sending me email jokes, etc. I wrote: "Karen, Why do you think I want you to send me this?" She replies: " First of all, I know you like these type jokes. Second of all, I know you didn't just fall off the face of the earth. Why do you need to completely lose contact with somebody? I still care about you and always will; and I don't think it's terrible to say hello once in a while. Why is it so problematic that I send an email? -Karen" So I reply "Karen, you made your decision. It's over, so let it be over. I am not interested in hearing from you. -Mark" Then she replies "I made the decision to end the relationship we had, it doesn't mean I don't care about you or am not interested in you and your life. However, I respect your decision and I can't force you to say hello or reply. I just don't understand why I can't send you a funny email. What's the difference if you get it from me or somebody else? Could I possibly pick up my mail tonight? Otherwise, I won't be able to until the weekend or even later. -Karen" Well she came over and we talked a bit. I told her that I that I knew all the things about the new guy (Drinking all the time, addiction to marijuana, breaking up with her 3 times in a month, sleeping around on her, having a kid with some woman, going to jail, etc) I then found out she had slept with him (ahhhhhhhhhh!) I told her she was going to get aids or something and she is going to get herself into real trouble, etc. etc. This guy already slept with some other girl(s) when he broke it off with her the first time. I know she doesn't use any protection besides Birth Contol, we didn't. She says to me how she is constantly making comparisons about him to me and sometimes wonders what the hell she is doing with him, etc. I told her there IS NO comparison between him and me. She was saying how she realizes all these bad things about this guy, but she has fun with him and her makes her feel good. (something like that) (Yeah, I guess breaking up with her and banging other girls behind her back makes her feel good, I should have thought of that) Then she actually had the nerve to be mad at me for not calling her on her B-day! LOL Is she friggin serious????? I told her I didn't want to hear from her ever again. She was upset and teared up when I told her that my family has been in town and she was really missing out. Well I played it cool until she was about to leave and I just wanted to hug her. She walked out and I called her back. She cam back in but became annoyed and was in a bit of a hurry to go. Well, yesterday I contacted her Brother and her Mother. They have been concerned about her situation and told them that I was totally out of the picture and told them about things they didn't know. I said that at this point I could no longer be involved but had to let them know what she was up to out of concern. Well, both of them were very happy I called them and told me I had been thru enough with her and to tell her to screw off. (wow). Her brother had met this guy and told me that he, her other brother, and his wife didn't like him at all. They thought he was bad news and a loser, and said he had nothing on me. LOL. They were not pleased at all, and told her already to get away from this guy becuase they could already see that he is trouble. Her mother says Karen was terribly rude to her the other day and feels like she is out of control. Karen had acutally told her mother about most of the stuff about this guy. Her mother told her to stay away from this guy, cause he sounded like trouble. Well, they didn't know about his constant drug usage and a few other things. They told me to please stay in contact with them. Her family has always been so good to me and they know that I am a real stand up guy with great morals and come from an excellent background. She left yesterday for a ski trip to Denver with the new guy. I'm doing alright. But, at night it is hard cause I think about him having sex with her in some hotel. Man that just hurts like crazy, I can't even describe it. Anyhow, many of you will think contacting her family was a bad move. That's fine. But, I'm not gonna stand by and let her get herself into trouble, pregnant, or get some damn disease from some dirtbag. I told her and her family that it was a shame it didn't work out with us, and that was fine. But to at least move on with someone that was good for her. Anyhow, based on her craziness I am sure I dodged a bullet. I can't be with someone that is so blind and lets herself get into these type of situations. I need a solid woman.

Damn I hate that I am or seen as addicted. I just hate this. I have no idea why I want her now. After 3 weeks of NC I just miss her more.

Thanks. Actually, I already lift weights 6 days a week, play hockey twice a week, and waterski almost every weekend.

I have posted on other peoples posts. Karen ended up emailing me a joke yesterday. Not sure why. I have specifically told her not to email me stuff like that. I was thinking of emailing her back: "Karen, Why do you think I want you to send me this?"

I defintalty wasn't too nice or too obsessed. I was more the opposite.

She didn't have sex with him when she first moved on with him. But I really don't need you to post this kind of stuff. It is not helpful.

Ummmm.....that didn't make me feel better at all. Why did you have to post that? Could that please be erased or at least edited. It is insensitive and obviouly not posted to make me feel better or heal in any way. In fact, I feel horrible now. Thanks.

Well, looks like she is back with the other guy again. (Broke up 3 times in 1 month, LOL) They are going to Denver for a ski trip together this week. I just don't get it. Why is she so into this guy? I mean, This guy is 32 he's got a 6 year old kid with some woman that he still hangs out with, he smokes dope everyday (which she hates), he's been known to sleep around (which he did once to her already), and he went to jail the other day for being a drunk idiot. I understand I shouldn't even be thinking about "the other guy" since it really doesn't matter. But, how the hell is she so ga-ga over him? How is it that she could move on to some other guy so quickly? Funny, I just remembered that a few months ago some guy friend (that she slept with once a long time ago) of hers flew down here for a business trip. He invited her to hang out and she wanted me to go too. I said "No! I don't want to hang out with some guy that slept with you. And I don't want you going out to hang out with him anyway!" But, she argues with me telling me how he's just a friend from back home, blah blah blah. She should automatically know that it is totally unethical to do that. So I just didn't want to deal with it an further and gave her the cold shoulder for a few days. So she goes anyway, even though it pissed me off. It was stuff like that that made me feel like she had no common sense and I had no control over her at all. That kind of stuff scared me.

Thanks Lady, I know you're right. I know this is taking me a long time (1 month now). But, this place allows me to vent and/or post my thoughts. Yesterday was another tough day. My Grandfather from Italy is visiting for a week. He comes every year. Unbelievably, during our 3 years Karen has never met him before. Somehow evertime he comes she was out of town. Anyhow, my entire family (who is all from Italy) has been getting together every night. My Grandfather is A LOT of fun and super charasmatic. He's Great! He has a thick Italian accent and I love when my whole family is together and speaking Italian. I wish that Karen was around to experience it, becuase I know she would love it. We all had dinner last night and listening to a lot of songs that Karen and I enjoyed together. Man that was so hard. It was hard not to just cry in front of everyone. I was missing her so much, she really is missing out. I just don't understand why this is getting more difficult. There was so much that bothered me about her. I even made a list of PROs and CONs about her, and the Cons won, LOL! Now it just seems I have built her up in my head to be better than she was and forget all the things that bothered me so much. For some reason I forget those bad feelings I had toward her that made me distant with her in the first place. WHy?

Well I would still like to get her back. That is why we are all here isn't it. Sure, I might get her back and realize I was off without her. But I would rather that than what I am feeling right now. So.... My goal is to get her back. If that is thru maintaining more NC then so be it. Or, perhaps I need to respond to her texts once in a while. Sorry.

I'll say it again. This situation has not been going on for three years. Our relationship was 3 years. We had ups and downs. For the past 1.5 years we lived together and we were OK. We just broke up last month. Sorry if I am repetetive. It is still hard and I don't want to let her go, sorry. I haven't called her, or gone over to her house, or anything. So I'm not all that "obsessed", I just miss her very much.

This has not been going on for 3 years. We had ups and downs in the past but have been fine for over a year now. We broke up 1 month ago. No I havent been going over to her house, that happened once 4 weeks ago.

Well, last night was her B-day. I went out with my buddy and met a couple of girls (married ) We hung out and it was pretty fun. We ended up going back to their hotel and all went into the jacuzzi with nothing but our underwear. So we all just hung out till about 3:30 am drinking wine and talking. It was interesting to say the least, but of course I couldn't stop thinking about Karen. Guys, I am missing her so badly right now and I am so scared because she is with someone else. I am feeling like some contact needs to be made, and I have only ignored all her attempts (text messages,email) She still has to pick up some of mail so I am sure I'll see her eventually. I still want her, what can I do?

got it

That I didn't call to wish Happy Birthday

well, anyway it's her Birthday today. I feel like crap. Good news is that my buddy is flying in from San Fransisco tonight and we're gonna hit the town. Sucks that I'm not a part of her B-day, and some other guy is. It hurts. I'm not even gonna break the NC to wish her Happy Birthday, "F" her. I'm sure in some way that'll bother her.

right you are

LOL. mmmmmmmmmm.....Lady Bug.