Soon I will be 34 and I never had a gf. Is this a bad sign?

[iwishiknew]

Soon I will be 34 and I never had a gf, a date or my first kiss. Is this a bad sign for me, that I might never experience a gf or love?

[chitown9]

People develop social skills at different rates. It sounds like you did not have much opportunity to interact socially; would you say that is true?

[theface71]

Don't feel too bad. I was a late bloomer myself. I didn't have a GF until I was 26. Didn't get my second one until I was 37. If you do not put yourself out there then you won't have a chance. Although I will argue that sometimes you can interact with a lot of people and just not get too much interest...like in my case. But don't get discouraged...you are still at a good age to mingle and find single people.

[Dubb]

Soon I will be 34 and I never had a gf, a date or my first kiss. Is this a bad sign for me, that I might never experience a gf or love?

 

Why do you think this is?

[RitaTrue]

Why do you think this is?

 

Good question here.

[midnightdeirdre]

Soon I will be 34 and I never had a gf, a date or my first kiss. Is this a bad sign for me, that I might never experience a gf or love?

 

I wouldn't say those are "bad" signs, per say. But I must ask, why have you never let yourself experience those things? Have you suffered from social anxiety? Were you afraid to get out there and meet new people?

[FathomFear]

Soon I will be 34 and I never had a gf, a date or my first kiss. Is this a bad sign for me, that I might never experience a gf or love?

 

It's been a little over five years since you started this thread:

 

Can you describe what you've tried/done between now and then to change your situation?

 

I mean, I'm almost 33 and also in the same boat. However, I don't ask myself why I'm in the boat. I know why I'm in it and how I got here. For you, though, I get the impression that you don't know those things.

[solidbunker]

Can you win the lotto without buying a ticket?NO!

So why dont you just throw yourself to the arena and try it?

Who cares if you are unsuccessful after the 200 first tries,you will find someone for sure.

Just get over being shy and give it a try.

Library,supermarket..start practicing and you will see how good you get at it.

And dont give me the speech of not being handsome,its all in the approach and charm,and those you wont get without practicing.

[Ayanokōji]

Very very bad sign.

 

Question is are you too picky or are you undesirable to women and no one picked you?

[anushkaishot]

I may sound unPC, but I feel it will be a red flag/warning to some. It may show immaturity, or some deeper reason why one i not attractive.

 

It could also be that one is too ugly to date. Looks are not everything in dating, as everybody knows, but they still form a major factor.

 

That said, there are numerous women who may not care, so it ultimately depends on the woman concerned.

[YakasJourney]

Do you want to marry? If so, you are fine. You may do so if you wish to. Every person is innately lovable. That is all you need to know.

[becomingkate]

I think it shows that you're very introverted, maybe have trouble trusting people. It doesn't mean that you can't have the relationship you want.

Maybe you're just stuck.

[MD Geist]

Id say so because it seems like guys like us never get ahead in life. Next month I'm going to sleep with a Prosititute to get over the virginity problem. I don't like the idea but I feel as if that is my best option at the moment. You need to figure out whats going to work for you and go do it.

[Raize]

It is a shame that some people out there consider someone never having a relationship a bad sign, as in a 'red flag'. Sure it's unusual, but there are some great people out there who have for whatever reason never found that mutual connection with another. And I know first hand that there are some very mean-spirited individuals both emotionally and physically abusive who have been in relationships though they hardly deserve the love and devotion of another person at all, especially someone decent who feels trapped in such a relationship. I don't see how someone can be red flagged based on their apparent lack of relationship experience alone.

 

I will admit even as a guy who has never had a girlfriend myself, if I learn that someone I know of has never had a relationship (I can count on one hand people besides myself in this category) I automatically attempt to pass some judgement or reasoning in my mind to try and figure out why they have not succeeded in that part of life, or what, if anything, is 'wrong' with them that is holding them back. The fact is that of those few people I know of, with the exception of one (autism spectrum disorder) there is hardly anything wrong with them, perhaps just a combination of unfortunate circumstance in life, lack of confidence and yes, they aren't model material but there are far uglier people out there who find love. They are lovely people besides that. Sadly, one of these individuals is in her elderly years now so in all likeliness she will remain single the rest of her life.

 

My point is that attaching negative stigma to someone simply because they don't have a history can only be counterproductive and make them feel even more alienated, instead of focusing on the important stuff such as recognizing the steps that must be taken in order to better oneself wherever they wish their life to be bettered.

[SA_Guy99]

Can you win the lotto without buying a ticket?NO!

So why dont you just throw yourself to the arena and try it?

Who cares if you are unsuccessful after the 200 first tries,you will find someone for sure.

Just get over being shy and give it a try.

Library,supermarket..start practicing and you will see how good you get at it.

And dont give me the speech of not being handsome,its all in the approach and charm,and those you wont get without practicing.

 

Just get over it? Do you really think it's that easy for everybody? Some people have legitimate anxiety issues. I struggle with it every ****ing day.

[The_Seeker]

Soon I will be 34 and I never had a gf, a date or my first kiss. Is this a bad sign for me, that I might never experience a gf or love?

 

To others, it is a bad sign.

 

To others, it is a good sign.

 

What I'm trying to say, depends on the individual.

 

Do not be upset about it.

 

I didn't have my first relationship until I was 21 or 22. I didn't give a toilet about it in high school. I was focus on getting into college.

 

I didn't have sex until I was late 23. I didn't in college because I didn't want to get a pregnant [Yea yea yea i know protection etc etc]. Also I focus on getting my career. Look at me now, I'm an Accounting Assistant studying to become an Actuarial Analyst. I just need to pass those darn tests. Marriage is not on my mind yet. But I would like one some day.

 

What I'm trying to say?

 

If you want something, you have to create it No matter how tough it is.

 

Or you can stay still like a rock and complain this and that. Not saying you are a complainer. I'm saying you need to be a go-getter.

 

Trust me, I get rejected ALL the time. [i'm a girl btw.] I don't care. I know I'm attractive person. I kept that mind-set.

 

Sometimes it could be the city that you live in that makes dating tough. I know my city is definitely tough to date. So I go long distance. It could be your preferences are too narrow like a woman's ideal list of what they want and need in a man instead of just letting things flow.

 

Or it may be you wait til the opportunity present itself and don't do anything.

 

Or, you follow too many dating rules instead of leading what you want out of your life.

 

That's all I could think of.

 

Good luck.

[erzerum7]

To others, it is a bad sign...

 

I'm a bit shocked that you're a girl. I didn't realize that until this post. The Spiderman and your straight and to-the-point speech completely threw me off.

[erzerum7]

I see not having had a relationship (any or few) as preferable. It means that the person is highly selective and has high standards for themselves and others. If after discussion I realize that this is due to physical appearance, of course I am less enthused.

 

To me, nothing is more attractive than a beautiful woman who chose to keep herself pure out of moral conviction and respect for what a relationship is all about.

[The_Seeker]

I'm a bit shocked that you're a girl. I didn't realize that until this post. The Spiderman and your straight and to-the-point speech completely threw me off.

 

I'm sorry that you threw you off!

 

I love Spiderman! He's amusing to me. Probably he has a good sense of humor. Iron Man is my favorite one too!

 

I have low tolerance for B.S. and I learned a lot about myself after my first relationship ended and second relationship ended as well.

 

I changed the past 2 years realizing I stand behind my beliefs and values. I speak from my heart and mind. I don't follow dating rules like I used to. I do what I want. A life is a story to create which starts with you. I still have much to learn since I'm only 24.

 

Thank you for the compliment! I feel happy I could be myself and people still get me. LOL

[jonny15]

Just get over it? Do you really think it's that easy for everybody? Some people have legitimate anxiety issues. I struggle with it every ****ing day.

 

Yea...I agree.

 

I saw the who cares if your unsuccessful after the 200 first tries. LOL I really don't think I could handle being rejected that many times.

[The_Seeker]

Yea...I agree.

 

I saw the who cares if your unsuccessful after the 200 first tries. LOL I really don't think I could handle being rejected that many times.

 

I've been rejected that much times come to think of it.

 

I blame it on my beauty and integrity. LOL

 

But then again, i know what i want and what i need.

[jonny15]

I've been rejected that much times come to think of it.

 

I blame it on my beauty and integrity. LOL

 

But then again, i know what i want and what i need.

 

It's nice that you can take that much, but not everyone is built the same way mentally.

 

Being rejected that many times would be pretty hard on me mentally.

[carra]

I've been rejected that much times come to think of it.

I blame it on my beauty and integrity. LOL

But then again, i know what i want and what i need.

I must have been rejected about that number of times, CONSECUTIVE. The "look at it with philosophy" attitude only works the first months. After that, you can't help it: you FEEL rejected.

[jonny15]

I must have been rejected about that number of times, CONSECUTIVE. The "look at it with philosophy" attitude only works the first months. After that, you can't help it: you FEEL rejected.

 

That is very true.

 

When you keep getting rejected without any success, it's not gonna make it feel any better, it's gonna make it worse.

[wsim]

It's nice that you can take that much, but not everyone is built the same way mentally.

 

Being rejected that many times would be pretty hard on me mentally.

 

It should also be noted that if you have experienced nothing but rejection and have no success to date, it can be devastating to your confidence or self-esteem. For me, besides a few week casual dating stint with this girl (She was emotionally unstable and highly suspected that she was simply just desperate, as she literally threw herself onto me), women have never had any remote interest in me other than just friends.