Importance of the SMILE.

[Fudgie]

If you keep on working for little or no pay though, that doesn't get you anywhere. You could be nearing 40, with no retirement savings, no relationship experience, and aging parents who can't fund you forever, and you still can't find a job cause that's the biz. That sounds like "nowhere" to me now.

 

I would try working part-time, yes, that's a good step. Perhaps in a music store, selling instruments and parts? That's the best I can think of. If you work part-time, 20-25 hours a week, I hardly see how you would be consumed by that.

[90_hour_sleep]

not everyone is looking for FORMAL instruction. there are those who could care less about theory. they just need some basic skills, some encouragement, and some positive reinforcement. some of the best teachers don't know a thing about theory anyway.

 

maybe you'd meet some aspiring female musicians!

[tiredofvampires]

some of the best teachers don't know a thing about theory anyway.

 

Except that the OP said he is lacking the one ingredient that is a MUST to be a good teacher: patience. So I would never recommend teaching to Dougie. (And he’s not even interested, another must-have for teaching well.)

 

The problem is impatience overall. You somehow expect the world will just open up as your oyster without your paying the dues. When you said you didn’t care if you project indifference or lack of enthusiasm in a job interview — as if anyone would hire someone with your attitude — I realized something about you: you’re spoiled. Someone who perceives that they need a job — NEED — doesn’t talk this way. You complained that you couldn’t even find a job, but would YOU hire you, with such an attitude? You’re still acting like you can cherry pick and choose what you want, even though you don’t have much room to juggle options. You pick and choose what appeals to you, as if wanting it badly enough means you can dispense with all other practical considerations. You pick and choose the classes you like to get A’s in, and flunk the ones you don’t like accordingly, because just doing well as a student in general (which is an opportunity missed — not everyone has the privilege of going to school) and having a good GPA is worthless to you. Your whole attitude is this: “If I want it, I’ll do it. If I don’t want it, I wont.” That’s what I mean by spoiled. And your parents are partly to blame, since they would rather hand you a fish than teach you to fish, because it suits their immediate water cooler talk better. They didn’t even hand you a fish, though. They said, “Here’s a plate and a napkin, and a McD Filet o’ Fish sandwhich. (And just don't make a mess while you eat, will ya.)”

 

They didn’t teach you that you’ve got to be a fisherman, but also that to be an outstanding fisherman, you need to understand more than the act of reeling in a fish — you need to know about the tides, the winds, the currents, the seasons, the other marine life, the habitat, the weather, how to operate your boat and equipment, and even what your boat is made of.

 

You can’t just zero in on stuff you like, which is easy to do, and throw away the rest in life. You can’t do away with the necessary steps along the way, as if the big picture doesn’t matter because WHAT YOU WANT is bound to happen sooner or later. It’s like a child saying, “I’m not going to eat dinner, I only eat dessert.” The world doesn’t work like that, even though apparently, that’s what your parents are fueling. You think that somehow, the world is going to confer upon you some kind of crazy luck that most people don’t get even if they work hard: that things will just fall in your lap without you making some huge sacrifices to climb your way there. There are no shortcuts, Dougie. You’re not privileged in that even if your parents are subsidizing your efforts, you are still the one that needs to make the efforts. But part of making efforts is those you make which you DON’T LIKE, until you get to the things you prefer to do. In fact, those are the ones that sometimes build the most important bridges.

 

Life is beating you over the head with a 31-ft. bat of dissatisfaction right now, trying to get you to understand the adage: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.”

 

But for now, your thinking that you can work the world around you, rather than vice versa, is still in the lead.

 

I’d wish you luck in this, but unfortunately, even if you got lucky, you’d still have the problem of thinking you can pick and choose in a way that defies the very concept of hard work and determination, which requires flexibility. I always tell people that luck is most of life's key to success -- but without the rest, the MEAT, no amount of luck can save you. So until you change your entire approach to work, getting ahead, and moving up in the world, you’re going to stay at the very bottom rung like this.

 

No one is going to make you a star (manager/rep/whatever) overnight. But even the stars brown-nosed more than you have to get to where they are, so you’re quite behind the 8-ball.

 

On a side note, while I’m not a music industry professional, so take this for what it’s worth, I do know through the disappointments and career implosions of my friends in music that big record labels are a dying species. One by one, huge music companies are falling. The digital age has changed the face of the way artists want to do business, I’m sure you know. You can get far in music without a middleman (your hoped-for job), and that’s the way many are opting to go. Tower Records, Borders, etc. -- these businesses are dead or suffering from the fact that this phenomenon has swept the industry in general, so I don’t even think it’s a lucrative business for most people to consider. There’s still a market out there, but from where I’m standing, what you’re trying to do is equivalent to me auditioning against Susan Sarandon for a part.

 

 

 

I don’t think anything’ll significantly change without the attitude makeover I’ve stated above (which literally affects everything, from your goals with women, to jobs, to career, to financial independence.) So it’s a tall order. But just as a random thought, how about being a DJ?

[Dougie_D]

But just as a random thought, how about being a DJ?

 

What type of DJ? One that goes to parties/clubs/ etc? -- I don't have "equipment". Most of these people are hired guns.

 

Or the Radio DJ? ---- I was a Radio DJ at my local college for about 3 years at least. I liked it for awhile, but eventually I got tired with it. Only having a show for 2 hours per week will make you not care also... It got really boring to me and plus, in the "real" world, you have to have a certain type of "voice." Maybe an assistant, but I don't think any DJ's are leaving their job or any stations hiring.

 

I have my eyes set on the prize. What's wrong with that? I feel like you guys are telling me to give up on what I want. I email labels constantly asking for "opportunities".

 

The reason why labels are crumbling is because they set the bar high when it comes to certain payments. They have connections with producers and these producers may be demanding a certain price...but what happens if the labels don't go with the producer or try to negotiate a smaller price? The producer might not ever want to work with the label and NOW, the label has to find another producer that is just as good or a "good fit" for the artist. And these apply to PR people, songwriters, etc...

 

So, instead of dollars, the industry has to/needs to/been working with pennies. The smaller/indie record labels have always been working with pennies so nothing has really affected them. Every label is becoming on the same level field.

 

And this is where I feel like I will be most VALUED. I can find talent and I am pretty good in artist development. You can market a decent product but if you are able to find a quality product and improve it...then I believe that's the ticket. Major labels have A&R guys because the presidents/etc... are like 100 years old and they have time to listen to everything. The smaller labels...all the people working are acting like A&R guys...the president will be like: "what do you guys think?"

 

I'm not trying to "beach" any more. I got to continue what I know and keep on going for it.

[Galaxo]

It is not a matter of giving up on what you want. It is a matter of taking what you can get while you continue to work towards getting what you want.

 

Something > nothing.

[Fudgie]

I think what we are saying, Dougie, is that you need to do the following:

 

get a job on the side and start earning money on your own, so you can be INDEPENDENT from your parents, while looking for opportunities. However, I'd have a timetable going on. You are 31 and you haven't been able to hold down a job to support yourself and your parents still fund you. I'm serious when I say that you can't keep this up forever.

 

I'm not one to be like "Everyone should give up on their dreams and get a normal job". I think it's good to try and incorporate what you want to do into an actual job that will pay you well. However, it doesn't seem like you are successful in doing this. I don't think this is so much about you as a person, but rather the biz. It's HARD to get a job in there and at this point, you still don't have a job in there, so when do you say "Enough. I'm going to get a different job and support myself."? How long are you going to wait this out?

 

Your eyes are set on the prize but you may not get it. What are you going to do if you're 40 and you STILL don't have a job? It gets harder as you get older because employers aren't going to like the lack of experience at your age as you get older.

 

Life is filled with unfortunate events and sometimes, for some people, they aren't able to incorporate their passions into a job. It doesn't always work.

[Dougie_D]

It is a matter of taking what you can get while you continue to work towards getting what you want.

 

I know.. I've been applying to places, but they don't really have "entry jobs". Or if they do, I feel like I don't have the experience or skills.

 

Working night shift at a grocery store feels like a Step Down not a Step Forward. That's all I'm saying. Most people get a job right out of college because most colleges have job postings and the company is used to kids from the school. They created a pipeline. I don't have that luxury.

[Fudgie]

I don't understand how working at a grocery is a step down versus a step forward compared to what you're doing NOW.

 

You getting your money from mom and dad while you try and get experience (unpaid) in the field versus you working part-time to at least START (somewhat) supporting yourself plus getting ACTUAL JOB EXPERIENCE. Employers like it when they see you have actually worked for a paycheck, not unpaid work. It shows that you can be counted on.

 

I don't buy that they don't have entry level jobs. You need to apply to all the fast food places AND grocery stores AND gas stations. Those ARE entry level jobs, and there are no skills needed prior, that's why they call them "entry level". You learn on the job.

 

I'm going to be dead honest Doug, if you don't start working on becoming independent sometime soon, you may never be independent. That means someday, you parents will not be able to support you, and you won't be able to support yourself. And you'll have far more pressing problems to deal with than the "no girlfriend" issue, which would still stand.

[Dougie_D]

You getting your money from mom and dad while you try and get experience (unpaid) in the field versus you working part-time to at least START (somewhat) supporting yourself plus getting ACTUAL JOB EXPERIENCE

 

What's wrong with trying to getting a part-time job in my field?

[agent1607307371]

Nothing, except for the fact that you haven't got one. No one is going to hire someone with a a history of voluntary unemployment. It's not a good thing. Having a job you don't want but can get is going to help you get a job you want.

 

Also, looking at someone who lives like a college kid who is in their 30's is also going to put employers off.

[Fudgie]

I think a part-time job in your field would be ideal....if you can find one.

 

If you can't find a part-time job in your field soon, then just get one elsewhere and start working.

 

Some fields are not as conducive to entry level work, as I'm sure you know. Retail for example? You can find entry level work no problemo. Music? It may be more difficult. There is working at a music store though. Any sort of teaching/tutoring gig is out because you said you don't want to do that and said that you don't have the patience. I can't really think of anything else that is PAID entry-level stuff. I guess that's just the nature of the field.

 

In the field I'm working/going into (healthcare), it's hard too. I got years of volunteer unpaid experience while I was in high school and college, which helped me a lot. Healthcare people want to see at least a certification (for some jobs) PLUS experience (required) with patients so they know that you are comfortable in that environment. So not exactly "entry level".

 

If you can't find a part-time job in your field, then you really ought to look elsewhere. A job is better than no job, that's for sure. A grocery store would be a great place to start if you really have no working experience. You also get to meet people that you work with.

[capuccino83]

I don't think anyone says to give up on your dream. But what people are saying is it's time to be realistic. Success is not about blindly following your passion, it's about following it smart.

 

What you are doing now is that you are blindly following your passion - you're not making a back up plan, you're not becoming independent, you just keep hitting these labels over and over again in an impossible business. It's literally banging your head against the door all day and being upset that it doesn't open.

 

If you were smart about it, you would realize that you want to pursue your dream but you still need a back up plan. After all, its called a DREAM for a reason - because it's something we want and hope for, not something that's 100% likely to work out. If everyone's dream worked out, then it would be called a guarantee or reality, not a dream. Lots of people have been super passionate about their dreams, but that dream just didn't materialize. Think about the kid that works his butt off to get into Harvard but gets rejected. It's his dream, but chances are that he has a backup - he probably applied to Yale, Princeton and some state schools. Some people get into Harvard, many don't, and if they didn't have a back up plan for such a competitive school - they are really f'ed.

 

Right now, you're that kid, applying to Harvard with thousands of other people with a non-transparent admissions process and instead of figuring out how you are going to get A college education.. ANY education.. you're saying Harvard or bust. Either I'm going to an Ivy League or I will not go to college at all and make my way through life with a high school degree (your parents money). Does that sound reasonable to you? If you had a son or a nephew, is this the kind of advice you would give him? Either play football to win the Superbowl or don't play at all? Either date a super model or don't date at all? Either go to school to be top of the class or not go to school at all? Either work in A&R in music or not work at all?

[Dougie_D]

Either work in A&R in music or not work at all?

 

No. It's either work in A&R or own the label.

 

I want POWER. If I don't have the power to do something I will HATE it. I don't like the fact that other people are telling me how to do things all the time..It's annoying...what makes them have the privilege to talk to me like that? That's a reason why I hated college. I got smarter and realized the teachers didn't know all the ANSWERS when I gave them "HYPOTHETICAL questions. I'm realistic person. If you don't give me FACTS, I will never believe you and dismiss you. If I agreed with what you say, then I won't argue..Sometimes, I just go with the flow (because it's silly or I don't care) But if I have a opinion and we disagree.. SEE yA LATER! It's a GOOD thing I don't have many opinions. I want POWER and CONTROL. That's what I really want honestly. I would have my own business but I know it takes a lot of money and I don't have that.

 

This is a reason I don't ever vote. I will ONLY vote if I know 100% that my vote counts. That means I'm the last freaking vote in the world and the numbers are TIED. If not, I don't care. Don't tell me my vote matters..because if it's 101 to 108 with 70 people left to vote..then it really doesn't matter. Because I don't know what the people left are going to vote for. If they all voted for 108, did my VOTE really MATTER???

 

I am depressed because I was NEVER BORN PERFECT... Perfection is the closest thing to a GOD. If you are not a GOD...no one gives a crap who you are..and that's the reality.

[Galaxo]

Are you going to counseling?

[agent1607307371]

I'm realistic person.

 

Readin your last post, no, you're completely unrealistic. You expect to have power and control but won't work for it. You belong to your Dad totally and still think you have more power and control than you would if you had a job without understanding that you are in the most submissive position possible. Face it, if you aren't making money in this world then you aren't worth anything in this world.

 

Power is earned and worked for. You won't work for it, you won't show you're capable of holding it, you're never going to get it.

 

You're too old to be playing make believe with your life. It's not funny anymore, it's sad.

[BritterSweet]

People telling you what to do...that IS work! ANY kind of work. Even the big bosses of companies, even royalty and world leaders have to listen to someone else (in their cases, the public, or else there would be a revolt). And even if you have a job where you get annoyed and you are at the mercy at your boss, at least you get paid and can choose how you spend that money. That's still more power than in your current situation.

 

You want it all or nothing? Look, I'm also aware that my vote is only 1 in millions, and alone it may not have an impact. But I vote anyway because it's an accumulative thing.

 

Bend or you'll break.

[tiredofvampires]

What type of DJ? One that goes to parties/clubs/ etc? -- I don't have "equipment". Most of these people are hired guns.

 

The reason I mentioned DJ is because I could sort of see someone like you doing that. Now that you say you've already done it, I think that goes towards work experience. I don't know if you could try for a position on one of the many radio stations, or just working at the radio station as something closer to your interests than a regular min wage job, but you said you got bored after a while and so it's not really an option. So we're back to the problem I stated: nothing will change with you until you have an attitude makeover.

 

Though the thought has crossed my mind that if your parents are already forking it over, they might as well invest in you by buying you DJ equipment, as a start-up gift. That might give you your private contractor job, it'll be dealing with music, you'll be moving around...in the best case scenario.

 

Others have pretty much said all I could say, here. I'm not someone to stomp on someone else's dreams. And I know from my own life that some dreams are worth holding onto, even though adversity presents and it looks like you might never get there. However, it has been said and said again in this thread that you don't jump from A to Z. And sometimes you have to go with a detour. And there are also things that have as much value as the dream -- like other things you want in your life. To have your own life more, to have a paycheck/disposable income, to be able to say to a girl, "I work at xyz" instead of padding your resume and then she finds out you really don't earn anything...these things matter too, I take it, or these threads of yours would not exist. The ultimate irony is that you want "power" and "control" and won't settle for anything less -- yet you're squandering your life waiting for it, while languishing in the most powerless situation you could be in.

 

I have a friend who is an accomplished artist, well-recognized, respected by peers. For a number of years, he mostly focused on his own business. But even after years of hard work and accomplishments (and his line of artwork not being about "the big bucks"), due to the economy and soaring cost of living prices here, he still lives under his parents' roof (something pretty common here). He was also working part-time, to supplement his income, in a job that had something to do with art, but it involved mostly grunt labor. He finally had to make the tough decision to take the position full-time, cutting way back on his hours to do his own business projects. He has not "given up on the dream", but he's made an adjustment in order to have more financial security, and yet he's still passionate enough about his ambitions to work it into his life. Then, not long ago, he was facing cutbacks and layoffs in their office and thought he might get the axe. One of the things he applied for during this time was working in school cafeterias. He'd be the guy hauling milk crates and disinfecting floors. So we are talking about someone who is a featured speaker at prestigious conferences on illustration being GRATEFUL to think he'd have a secure job at the DOE shoving lunch trays into giant dishwashers. "Step down"? Not at all. It's what you make of it. Nothing would stop this guy from his eye being "on the prize", knowing him. He's still doing art. But he's wise enough to know that ya gotta do what ya gotta do, too.

 

That's what you need to get anywhere.

 

Unfortunately, you are so caught up in IMAGE, you can't see the forest through the trees, and this is going to be to your great detriment, possibly downfall.

 

The only reason anyone has any power is because there are people they need to support them. So, you depend on everyone under you -- especially in a democracy (and I don't want this to get political, so let's not belabor this example). Whether people put you in a position of power with their vote or their money, you need every single one of those votes and/or dollars to be there. Even if you have clients, you will have to do a good job and base that on a lifetime of hard work for them to see in you someone they'd recommend and hire again. You need your clients and colleagues or you're no one. You say you can't just get into any music genre -- you have to follow the trends in that business. So you are at the mercy of many people and their choices.

 

No one has enough power to not need to answer to anyone. When that happens, it's usually a brief position.

 

I'm afraid what you want and how you're going about it, and your personal philosophies, in fact have nothing to do with the way the world works or success in general, it's really more about your own personal lacks and feelings of helplessness and depression. Your essential mistake is that you have totally VOLUNTARILY given up control over your life, not realizing that in any moment, you have the ability to control at least one variable. The few variables you CAN control, you forfeit, and then you wonder why life sucks and you have no control.

 

But now it's just theme and variations, and repetition. Bit like barking into the wind.

 

And:

 

But if I have a opinion and we disagree.. SEE yA LATER! It's a GOOD thing I don't have many opinions. I want POWER and CONTROL.

 

just so you know, this goes with having a relationship as peanut butter goes with turkey sandwiches.

 

The unfortunate thing about this as that it's only in hindsight that a lot of this becomes real. Right now this is just talk on a thread. You're still young enough that you can take this to heart. But someday, it'll feel more real and it won't be pretty.

[Fudgie]

People are always going to offer their opinions to you in life. That's just part of being social. Heck, that's part of being on a forum too. People come here for advice and then you can pick and choose which you want to follow, which sounds like it would work for you.

 

Why do you want power and control so much? what does that mean to you? At this point, in your own life, you don't have much of either. What do you want life to be like for you?

 

Nobody is born perfect, Dougie, nobody. I've never known a perfect person. I thought I did, but then they show their issues. We ALL have issues. I know this one woman in medical school, who is such a good student, with BEAUTIFUL looks (looks like a model) and perfect features and FAST metabolism and she is so smart and well-spoken. Her flaw? She's more insecure than I am! She picks loser dudes who sit at home all day and do drugs. She's upset because she's nearing her mid 20s and is upset that she's not ENGAGED yet so she's clinging to whoever passes by. My god, it's bad and I wish she weren't that way, but she is.

 

No one is perfect. No one knows all the answers. Even powerful people do not really have all the power and control, especially when it comes to relationships. We all are mortal and the vast majority of the world doesn't give a CRAP about you, or me, or really anyone else in the grand scheme of things. Once you accept this, life feels better and more happy for you. Why does it matter so much to you? Why do you feel the need to seek validation on such a huge scale? This is an issue about YOU and how you feel about yourself.

 

You are a deeply unhappy person Dougie, but it's (largely) of your own devices. You can change but you are choosing not to. You are not on any path to get power/control but even if you did obtain these things, I would guarantee you that you wouldn't be happy. It would never be enough for you. You'd just keep demanding more and more power and control and validation to fill that empty space inside of you, the part of you that thinks you are worth nothing. All the hot girls, money, and power in the world will never help you. You need to fix YOU.

[Galaxo]

Probably because he does not have any control right now.

 

Seems to want all or nothing, so will have nothing instead of working towards what he does want.

[Fudgie]

Probably because he does not have any control right now.

 

Seems to want all or nothing, so will have nothing instead of working towards what he does want.

 

Good point. I was just curious because he seems to want so much of it. When I was a child and lacked power and control, I didn't sit there and say "It's either I own a label or nothing at all". He seems to want so much of it and having *some* power and control just through having an independent job doesn't seem to be enough.

[capuccino83]

Probably because he does not have any control right now.

 

Seems to want all or nothing, so will have nothing instead of working towards what he does want.

 

Dougie, you're using excuses and this need for power to keep yourself safe. You're use to being unhappy, you're use to struggling and basically loosing. It's not a good place to be but it's a safe place to be. So you find reasons, like I want power, to keep yourself in exactly the same place because it feels safe. You know the outcome.. you're going to be a failure, poor, single and dependent on your parents - which is a lot better then putting in effort, sweat and blood and still be a failure, poor and dependent. Trying and failing is a lot scarier then not trying and failing.

 

You can read these posts on here all the time - guys who are single, who've never had a date complain that the only girls who are available are unattractive - and that's why they are single with no experience.

 

It's time to step outside of your comfort zones and stop living in fear. Trying to overcompensate with power is usually a response to fear.

[Slimpee]

You need professional help, dude.

Almost everyone who has posted on ENA has been nice. Maybe you don't need nice...maybe you need a kick-in-the-butt. I wish you all the best!

[tiredofvampires]

Dougie, you're using excuses and this need for power to keep yourself safe. You're use to being unhappy, you're use to struggling and basically loosing. It's not a good place to be but it's a safe place to be. So you find reasons, like I want power, to keep yourself in exactly the same place because it feels safe. You know the outcome.. you're going to be a failure, poor, single and dependent on your parents - which is a lot better then putting in effort, sweat and blood and still be a failure, poor and dependent. Trying and failing is a lot scarier then not trying and failing.

 

It's time to step outside of your comfort zones and stop living in fear. Trying to overcompensate with power is usually a response to fear.

 

Very insightful.

 

I believe there is a strong element of this going on, here.

 

I think part of this is a lack of ability to see things through, because there is a kind of lack of caring about the process and respect for what it takes (the spoiled part.) Plus, I think some of the motivations here have a lot to do with appearance, image, and making a big splash of yourself. However much of this is your dad's values internalized and however much is your own values, I think it makes for a questionable set of motives for doing something. Usually, those kinds of reasons aren't enduring.

 

But it is in equal measure a kind of subconscious fatalism at work. When you've lived a life of learned dependency and helplessness, that cycle just keeps self-perpetuating, with every reason to remain stuck rationalized. Deep down, there being a sense of "why even bother when it's bound to go nowhere anyway."

 

I think the idea of getting a regular job to start, whether or not it relates to your field of interest, is so scary and abhorrent to you because it symbolizes your worst fear coming true -- that in fact, the dream didn't pan out and you have to give it up. So if you don't even "go there" to begin with, you can keep your dream alive as a viable thing, even if it's costing you every day, on a day-to-day basis, in a facts-on-the-ground way. But it doesn't have to be some kind of grand resignation -- it's just a job. No more, no less.

 

Maybe you don't even feel qualified or competent to do the jobs you want (reinforced by the fact that you don't get paid for the things you've done, and higher-paying positions want someone with more experience), so at least you keep the door open in the hypothetical, while keeping other real possibilities from "tainting" your wish.

 

It'll just have to come down to your separating what you do to make ends meet from associating that with your whole identity and future. All you ever have to work with is the NOW -- and that's true for everyone.

 

If there's one thing I've found, it's that at any stage of life, the chess pieces on the board can change. Sometimes, in a chess game, you make a move that wouldn't seem to relate to the end goal at all. It may be the furthest piece on the board. But it's because of this move that other moves can be made. You don't even have to know what the entire strategy will look like right now, which is how life is more intricate and complex than a chess game. The more important thing is to just make A move.

 

Because when you do, the game changes. That's why I said if you just change one variable that you can, you are in more control than before you made that move. And sometimes that's the more crucial move to make towards your ultimate ends.

[PJK]

I haven't read the entire thread but this may have already been said. You seem to have a very entitled attitude and that is an awful attitude to have.

 

Rarely do we get our dream job right out of the gate. I have always wanted to be a police officer since as long as I can remember but when I got out of school I found that it was a lot harder to get hired on than I though...imagine showing up to a police test with 400-500 other people just to find out they are hiring 1 person haha, its pretty demoralizing. Well, I didn't wait around for my dream job. I got other jobs, some of them were the * * * * tiest and most menial jobs...janatorial work for instance. At all of these jobs, I worked hard and impressed my supervisors and got some very good references from it. I actually almost stumbled into a career totally unrelated to policing during that time. Anyway I kept applying to different police departments and as my experience in other positions kept getting stronger and I was being promoted I became that much more desirable of a candidate...finally one day I got hired and I am currently in my dream career and can't think of doing anything else! In all it took almost 3 years after college doing other things that I hated and building my resume before I got hired.

 

If I had just sat around and refused to do anything else out of principle or the fact that the work was beneath me or because it was unrelated to the field I wanted to pursue I can guarantee you that I would still be living with my parents broke and very unhappy.

 

Remember, you are not entitled to anything! You have to pay your dues and often work from the bottom up.

 

Just a though...have you tried an internship or anything like that?

[Dougie_D]

I think the idea of getting a regular job to start, whether or not it relates to your field of interest, is so scary and abhorrent to you because it symbolizes your worst fear coming true -- that in fact, the dream didn't pan out and you have to give it up. So if you don't even "go there" to begin with, you can keep your dream alive as a viable thing, even if it's costing you every day, on a day-to-day basis, in a facts-on-the-ground way. But it doesn't have to be some kind of grand resignation -- it's just a job. No more, no less.

 

Yeah, that's OK..but I am not a good liar.

 

For example:

 

"Hey, so what do for a living?"

 

"I stock food at the grocery store"

 

"Oh...hmm.."

 

What a great conversation!!! NOT!

 

Also, what are my REAL POSSIBILITIES? I applied to grocery stores and I didn't even get an interview. I don't have real life work experience.

 

I feel extemely limited.