Saying “I love you” to friends?

[rosephase]

How would you feel if your partner said “I love you” to old friends?

How would you feel if your partner said “I love you” to new friends?

 

Do you feel like the gender of friend makes a difference in how you feel about it?

 

Do you say “I love you” to friends?

[pl3asehelp]

If they were platonic I'd feel great about it. Otherwise, I'd feel we don't have the same idea of what love is.

[LDRohnos]

Context is everything. Does he tell you he loves you? Is he throwing I love you's around like it means nothing? I don't know.

 

Anyway I say I love you to almost nobody. I said it to a dog once, he licked himself and ran away.

[FathomFear]

Hm, well, I've had a female friend say that to me with her husband in the room. He didn't seem to bat an eyelash over it, heh.

[Moontiger]

Context is everything.

 

Agree, it depends on a number of factors.

[Batya33]

Since my husband reserves "I love you" for me and for close family (I don't think he says it to close friends) I would find it very odd if he started saying it to a new friend and would be uncomfortable if it was a new female friend. If he said it to an old friend who happened to be female because of unusual circumstances- i.e. she was going through a rough time -that would be fine.

[tiredofvampires]

I'm for my partner saying, "I love you" to whomever he wants, anytime he wants -- new friends, old friends, male friends, female friends. As long as 1. he's not being insincere (that would make me wonder what else he's being insincere about, and about his motives and integrity in general) or 2. if it was a former romantic interest, he no longer feels "in love" feelings for her.

 

Having said that, I'm not someone who tosses those words around easily or lightly. Even with close family and friends, I rarely say the full sentence (I say more casually, "love ya" and variants more often.) I have a friend or two who says it more liberally, and I always respond in kind, but it's usually them initiating, even though I mean it (though I admit, I always feel a wee bit uncomfy -- and maybe it's because with this one friend I'm thinking of, it seems slightly formulaic, like at the end of each conversation, and I don't have a set pattern with my own MO.)

 

Gender doesn't make a difference in any of these scenarios for me, but since I am closer to more males, as friends, than females, I end up saying it to guys more often, irrespective of other factors.

[Tom1990]

I use it all the time, with friends, family, even coworkers. But I'm just that kinda guy.

[Gracelove]

I honestly don't know. I've never been with a man who told his friends he loved them. I know I tell certain friends that I love them, and when in a relationship, the person I'm with doesn't seem to mind.

[figur]

I appreciate it when I hear it coming from anyone genuinely. I don't know how I can really tell, but some people obviously mean it, even when it is just a "love ya!"

 

As far as comfort level with an SO to another woman, it would be contextual. But otherwise, I think saying "I love you" to someone you care about is a wonderful thing, so I would be appreciative that my SO wants to tell someone that.

[PhilliesFan001]

I'd find it odd because in the years I've known him, I've never heard my boyfriend say "I love you" to anyone besides me and his immediate family. He expresses his care/love for his friends in other ways, just not verbally.

 

Me on the other hand, I do tell my close friends I love them. Obviously it's a different love than the kind I feel for my BF, but it's a love nonetheless and I tell them occasionally when the mood merits it!

[Fudgie]

I'd be a little weirded out just because he doesn't say "I love you" lightly. He may say it to a friend (male or female) who is REALLLLLY hurting and in need of support, but otherwise, no.

 

I don't really tell people I love them unless it's my boyfriend or my parents. I'll tell my friends "I think you are awesome, btw!" but not really "I love you".

[Julimony]

I personally don't say it that often (I think that in my life I've said it three times, I'm 20) even to my family. My mother tongue is French and we don't actually say that kind of thing.. I don't like it when people say it all the time. My best friend used to say it everytime we ended a conversation and it was always awkward because I can't say it. Maybe it's because I don't say it enough and don't hear it around me but I kinda feel silly when I say it. Actually the only times I've "said" it were in a text or on a card. Never out loud.

 

I'm single but if I had a BF and he said it to friends, I think it would depend on the situation. To me the words mean a lot so I suppose it would be weird. Although ther is a difference between "I love you" and "love ya". The second one wouldn't bother me cos it's more casual. As many, if it was to a female friend, it would annoy me a bit unless she'd go through rough times.

[Emmalin]

It doesn't bother me, and I'd hope that it didn't bother my SO either. It may just be the fact that English speakers have just the one phrase to work with, but there are different feelings it can convey. I periodically tell my best friends "I love you," and I'm sure none of them think I want to marry them & have their babies. (I hope they don't, or I have some potentially awkward conversations ahead of me.) On the other hand, I wouldn't be entirely comfortable if the guy I'm dating said it to me, even though I've heard him say it in reference to his friends, including his female friends. Different context.

[eternalsunrise]

How would you feel if your partner said “I love you” to old friends?

How would you feel if your partner said “I love you” to new friends?

 

Do you feel like the gender of friend makes a difference in how you feel about it?

 

Do you say “I love you” to friends?

 

I don't think it's appropriate for the opposite sex to be telling each other that. I had a guy friend in my 20s who I told. Now he's married and we're in our 30s. I wouldn't say that to him anymore, even though it's platonic. It's just not appropriate, IMHO.

[Circe]

Since my husband reserves "I love you" for me and for close family (I don't think he says it to close friends) I would find it very odd if he started saying it to a new friend and would be uncomfortable if it was a new female friend. If he said it to an old friend who happened to be female because of unusual circumstances- i.e. she was going through a rough time -that would be fine.

 

This is pretty much the same for me. My husband only says "I love you" to me (I've never even heard him say it to his mum and bro - and can't imagine him doing so) so if he started saying it to friends of either gender I'd be extremely surprised and would definitely wonder what was going on (not "is he having an affair?" or anything like that necessarily - just literally why he was suddenly saying something that he doesn't even say to family).

 

The only person, other than my husband and two exes that I have said the words "I love you" to is my cousin. I have not said those words out loud to my parents even (and the only time I've ever heard those words from either of them was when my dad was telling me he'd kill himself if I ever did anything I wasn't supposed to do with a boy - I was 16 at the time - nice, huh?). Anyway - I'd say this to a female friend if I did love her and she was going through something really tough. There is no male friend I "love" at present but if I had one in the future that I did love and he was going through something really awful - I might say it if I thought hearing it would help and there was 0% chance he'd take it the wrong way. But I can't imagine making a friend of the opposite sex in the future that I'd be so close to that I actually loved him platonically. I don't think it's easy to do that when you are older and in a relationship without putting boundaries at risk.