Emilia Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My boyfriend wants to go down to Miami to party this weekend. He will be meeting up there with a friend who he has not seen for a long time. Normally Id want to go with him, but at first I thought it was a guys thing and was totally cool with it. I wanted to relax this weekend anyways. However, he tells me that his friend is specifically going down there to visit his new girlfriend. Meaning, my bf would be the 3rd wheel. My bf has specifically told me he doesn't want me going because he wants to just chill and party. He said he doesns't want any drama (his friend and I never really talked too much, we never got into any fights but there have been 2 occasions where there was some arguing at a party because of things getting out of control). I just dont get why he doesn't want me going when his friend is going to visit his gf. He says he needs his space from me and wants to just "party down" without having to worry about anything. He'd never cheat but I know Miami is party central and he knows ive never been there. Should I break up with him? He can't even dicuss it with me. he says he's going and im not and that's it. it's for 1 night. FYI, we have been together for 8 years. And we moved to FL so its about a 4 hr drive for us. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 You've been together 8 years and you'd break up with him over this? Seems rather extreme. Does he get much in the way of time by himself? It sounds like he's starving for some "me time". Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 If you break up with him now you will be giving him green light and a good motive to meet somebody new (and isn't just that what you fear?). Just let him go, is one night not one year. I just hope you don't begin texting and calling him the whole time because is just that type of controlling behavior that pushes many to cheat. Link to comment
Emilia Posted September 1, 2011 Author Share Posted September 1, 2011 im not trying to control him at all, it's just the fact he says i CANT go when his friend and his gf will be together. he will also be staying in a hotel with them 2. i just think it's a little strange. Im not controling at all, everyone says im too laid back. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 im not trying to control him at all, it's just the fact he says i CANT go when his friend and his gf will be together. he will also be staying in a hotel with them 2. i just think it's a little strange. Im not controling at all, everyone says im too laid back. I recall that you posted a thread earlier in the summer saying that boyfriend was going crazy at the lack of friends and the fact that he was just cooped up inside all day--presumably with you. Given that, you can't be all that surprised that he wants some time by himself or other people. It's classic cabin fever. Perhaps you should do the same and book a trip by yourself that same day. It would probably do you both a world of good. Link to comment
1m50L0nl3y Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 im not trying to control him at all, it's just the fact he says i CANT go when his friend and his gf will be together. he will also be staying in a hotel with them 2. i just think it's a little strange. Im not controling at all, everyone says im too laid back. Well is not rocket science, he wants time for himself as already stated. I wonder why YOU are so pushy on wanting to go when he told you he wants to go on his own and you don't even like his friend. What he sees is a chance for breathing air where he is free, and avoiding any sort of arguments between you and his friend, and ultimately you ruining his friend's visit to his girlfriend. Imposing your presence in your partner's recreational activities is controlling. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Doesn't merit break up. 8 years together and 1 day want to cut loose. Never cheated or did anything wrong besides wanting to hang with friend this one time. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Sounds like he wants away time if you would break up with him over that then perhaps there should be a break up. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 If there's this much of an issue with him being away for one night, maybe it's time to re-evaluate this relationship? This all boils down to either you trust him, or you don't. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Your making this all about you when it's not. Your boyfriends friend is meeting up with his new girlfriend., and that has nothing to do about whether there are females there or not. You would break up with him over this????? What else is wrong in your relationship. Link to comment
iBroken Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Based on your other threads, I think that this relationship is slowly fizzing out. Neither of you are happy. Perhaps breaking up is a good idea. Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 From your other threads, i can see why he wants to go to Miami alone. Let him go. Its one night. Pick your battles. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 What Doc Blaze posted...wow. That's crazy. You are insecure to the point that it cripples you and as a result, you've suffocated your boyfriend. He just wants some time away. No, I don't think he's going to cheat but I doubt he's very happy in a relationship where he's constantly on lock-down. You need to stop this what I like to call "boyfriend in a box" syndrome. Some women are so insecure that they feel the need to "lock up" their boyfriends by making them spend ALL their time with them and not seeing ANYONE else, or doing anything on their own, even having your evening "ruined" because it kills you to JUST have other girls around? Even if he doesn't look? In other words, you may as well stick your boyfriend in a box in your room like the obedient little dog he should be, keep him from the world, don't have him look at anything that you don't like... If you keep going down this path, you're going to lose him and every other male that you choose to be in a relationship with. And frankly, I can't blame them for leaving. That's no way to live and no way to be in a relationship. Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Your making this all about you when it's not. Your boyfriends friend is meeting up with his new girlfriend., and that has nothing to do about whether there are females there or not. You would break up with him over this????? What else is wrong in your relationship. well i did allow my spouse to go to Miami with couple guys from work for a seminary ,he was there for 4 days..but well i been bymyself also in vacation. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 If things were gong alright with the realitionship he wouldn't mind you there in Miami with him sharing the fun. There's a possiblity that either he feels you are going to spoilt it for him OR he is going to do things which you will not like to see or harm the relationship. IF ther has been erratic behavior from you when he tries to go out then there is the possibility he is acting on it now after holding back for you after all these years. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Welp... that excerpt from your earlier thread explains it. He wouldn't be able to have a good time with you around. Link to comment
EmmaB78 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 OP - let him go. I mean on the trip, not forever, lol. You say you know he'd never cheat - well, ACT on that feeling. In my longest relationship, I was with a guy who I knew would never cheat on me. I'd get jealous sometimes, etc, but I knew better. One year, he decided to go on a spring break trip with a guy and two girls from school (he was in a different school than me). Obviously, a part of me was horrified, but another part, I think the better part, realized that if I really did trust this person, I had nothing to worry about. I was right - we broke up later, but for totally different reasons that had nothing to do with other people. If he's so trustworthy that you know for sure he's doing this for space and not to cheat - boy, that's a guy you don't want to let go. Also, love yourself, girl. If that's you in your profile pic - I can't see how in the world you could ever be insecure! Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 8 years...and he wants to go for one night....my god girl...let him go. I think its what he says, just wants to go see his friend...MY GOD GIRL! Link to comment
abandoned Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Emma, you seem to have great advice, did you read my post?,would love your opinion! Link to comment
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