Silverbirches Healing Journal

[Silverbirch]

PS No way you look 56!!!!

[Realitynut]

Hi SB!!! LOL that was before I gained weight....oh, maybe it wasn't! I have been on here all night reading your threads! Here you had all these old threads about David from back in JUNE! How did I miss them...;.I guess I was in my fog. The last 2 nights I guess I have been feeling better....been writing on here a ton! When I was REALLY down, I didn't write, or I guess that's TYPE! Yes SB, those are the pics of me on the dating sites....oh not the one with Dan. Believe me, most don't look that good. I take 40 to get one good one....well, he has the camera now, so I guess I guess I'll get NONE....hey, I'll be perpetually young! If you call 56 young. Actually I was 55 in that pic. People say I act 15 tho...seriously! I will continue to read about David

[Realitynut]

Hey, I made a double post, and I didn't know how to delete. So I deleted it, and just made this one! lol just wanted you to look at my pretty face!!!! heheehe, I don't know if I can get use to seeing my face on here all the time!! lol

[Silverbirch]

Hey you should get yourself another camera. I didn't use mine for ages. Oh re the old posts with David, he came here very shortly after the breakup to see the ponies, and I was physically sick I was so distraught. I cried in front of him, and he was so kind to me. As I said, I've known him around 2 years, and a couple of months before the breakup, he started ringing every now and then to say hi. You know within 2 days of the b/u, he rang me and said that I had been on his mind and he wanted to know if I was okay. I didn't anticipate the breakup as you know. It was almost clairvoyant, and I remember thinking that at the time.

 

Then when I went to have coffee with him, I decided I didn't like him, and I started getting funny about just going for a coffee with him just before that. I was really hoping to get back with my ex then, and I couldn't give anyone else a chance - it was too soon for me.

 

I know you find Dan handsome, but for sure there are other men even more handsome, and especially as you are pretty and look young, you are bound to meet some. Not sure what I think about dating sites. I couldn't bring myself to sign up for any of them. My housemate met his girlfriend through speed dating, and each of them had met lots of people before they found each other. They're happy.

[Silverbirch]

~ Silverbirch is singing~

[Realitynut]

Does that mean your hair is a tangled-up mess???? LOL I'm jealous...lol...really, I'm so happy for you!

[Silverbirch]

Hi Carla,

Actually, I was singing "Tonights the Night" (the old Rod Stewart song).

 

Well, it was lovely tonight. Finally got the big kisses I had been hanging out for! Oh, and I'm so surprised to find out that he is very romantic. I do think my suspicions about his home being Animal House were right. Found out that sometimes he has had 3 cats and a dog sleeping on his bed with him. Oh, no way will I clean up his house or anyone elses, and I don't think he would like me to either. He seems very independent. If I find the house a bit too much for me, I will take your suggestion of telling him that I have problems sleeping in a bit other than my own, so thanks for that tip Girlfriend. Hugs, xxxxxxxx

[Silverbirch]

Well, I'm going to sound a little nutty I think, but when I got up this morning, I had a cry. Not for my ex, and I don't want to be with him, and yes, I do want to be with David. It was just thinking about how 3 times now in my life, I have been with a man who I thought it was going to last forever with, and each time, I got hurt and ended up on my own. David and I were talking about things last night, and I told him that I've accepted that people will come in and out of my life right up until I croak it. Told him I'm hopeful there will be some attractive old guys in the old folks home when I get there. (He doesn't believe in marriage as he has been divorced and he says he can't see the point in it anymore). Anyway, when I told him that, he looked really sad, and said "That seems such a shame and a waste".

 

As I've been typing this, he has so far sent me two lovely and very sweet and romantic texts on my phone. We're going out on Friday. I have to sleep over at work tonight and have so much to do before I go.

 

I know that I wont be jumping into bed with him or anyone else, and that I have to work at having that balance in my life of neither jumping into relationships where I'm going to get very hurt, getting involved too quickly, and also not cutting myself off from love and good things either.

[Silverbirch]

PS Carla, he can pick me up with one hand. As he was leaving, he picked me up so easily, lifted me up to his face and gave me a big kiss!

[Realitynut]

OOOOHHHHH....you should see the big smile on my face....I'm so happy for you. I just picture it all in my mind as you tell it.

 

(hehe, I just thought of this....lol....so when you DO hop into bed, make sure you tell me about it in graphic detail....lol)

[Silverbirch]

LMAO, I coughed when I read that Carla. Do you want me to take pics???

[Realitynut]

Only if they're in focus! LOL Don't want that camera bouncing around too much!!! HeHeHeHe

[Realitynut]

ps SB...when you said you were 'singing' I was imagining the scene in Young Frankenstien. Do you know what I'm talking about? He was on top of her and she was singing her heart out!!! lol

[Realitynut]

Can't wait for you to give us all the big scoop on your Friday date!!! Hope it went well!!

[Silverbirch]

HUGS Carla,

Well, it's Sunday afternoon here. I'm at work, and first chance I have to write. David and I have been either busy with each other since then or working, taking care of our animals.

 

Things have gone amazingly well. I'm so IN LOVE!

 

Anyway, I always assumed that David was very unromantic from thing she has said and by his own admission. He used to say also that he would never marry again, he couldn't see the point, and it would be a waste of money.

 

Imagine my surprise when this morning, he asked me to marry him!! I told him it's too soon of course, and we are still getting to know each other and need to see how things go. I will tell you know, if things continue this way, and I am this happy still in 12 months, I will definitely marry him. Fact is though that so far in my life, 3 other men asked me to marry them, and none of those relationships lasted.

 

David is unlike anyone I have ever known. The more I find out, the more I shake my head in surprise. Oh, Carla, don't know if you believe in astrology, because I'm not sure I place a lot of faith in it, but I am a scorpio and David is cancer which is a perfect match said to be made in heaven.

 

No I'm not even sure I've seen Young Frankenstein. Anyway, as I'm at work, better not stay here long. Get bak as soon as I can. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ~singing~

[Realitynut]

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING??? DANG YOU'RE LUCKY GIRL!! DID HE MEAN IT? HOW DID HE ASK??? WHEN YOU GET TIME (YEAH RIGHT) GIVE US ALL THE DETAILS., HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY HOW HAPPY I AM FOR YOU? ps..cancer men are sensitive souls, and tend to be moody!!! lol but they are also homebodies

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla,

Well, we were sitting up in my bed. I have a beautiful view of the bush and mountains from floor to ceiling windows. We had both been very tired the evening before so went to bed relatively early as we had both worked and were both working long days on the Sunday. I had a nice relaxing bath before bed while he sat up reading The Weekly Times which is the rural newspaper here all the farmers read, and the only one he reads. He came and washed my back and some other places, LOL! - which was very nice. Then when I came into bed, I sat up on my laptop, we talked and I showed him pics of my family on Facebook. We both feel like we have never connected with anyone else quite on this level - he says it - but I was already thinking it.

 

Okay, now Carla, some parts here are censored. LOL.

 

Next morning, was similar. We had both slept so soundly. He's lovely to sleep with. I had thought that because he is so tall and solid, it would be awkward, but it isn't. I'm surprised that he has soft hands even though he works outdoors (says this is because they get badly split in the creases and he has to put creams on them). We both slept so well. He doesn't snore, and when he wakes up, he still smells and tastes fresh like a peach. He's beautiful.

 

Both of us have hazel eyes. I have some blue in mine as well. Depending on the light, my eyes change color. Anyway, of course I noticed pretty much as soon as we were woken, that his eyes had also turned blue. I even got my hand mirror to show him his eyes! Well, it was some time in the morning that he asked me. Of course, I told him that we are still getting to know each other and we have to see how things turn out. He says he can't explain why he KNOWS he's certainn I'm "The One" for him, but he says it has never been like this with another woman.

 

I'm so surprised at myself at how I feel about him. I was so hurt by my ex and the way he broke up with me that I just felt dead inside as far as men went. I was the female equivalent of impotent. I HAVE moved on now from my ex. I don't care what he does, and I won't lose any sleep if I never see him again. I don't hate him, and I wish him well as I would any other person, but I'm pretty much indifferent to my ex now.

 

Well, he asked me sometime in the morning. We have just talked and talked this last week, especially the last 3 days. To me, this looks like it will be the healthiest relationship I have had to date, and likely will ever have.

 

We are both so busy and determined to do all the things we need and should do in our own lives and then catch up when we can. I'll see him tomorrow night, and he is going to stay the night. Hopefully, we will get to spend Wednesday together although he does have to see a client some time in the morning. He told me this morning, that he is going to try and build up his business clientele much closer to where I live because he loves it out here.

 

I found out that there is a property 2 doors down to where I live (it's a 10 minute walk away LOL!) which hasn't had anyone live in for 5 years. An old couple lived there for decades until she died. Her husband has had to go to live with family, but refuses to sell it. House is very run down and the land is overgrown, but if I had the money, I'd love to buy it. It's worth a lot of money due to the land, but property values have been predicted to come down. The owner to date has not permitted the property to be rented. I've had an idea to think about - puttting a mobile home on the land (it's around 20 acres I think), and leasing the land. I'm not in a position right now to buy anything, and likely when I do, it will have to be further out in the country, but it's nice to dream, and so I'm sending out my message to the universe.

 

David is extra busy right now with work, study and his farm. He's going to come and give me a loan of his extra pair of hands while I finally finish putting up a spring fence, and I'm keen to go and help him bale the hay on his property further in the year - something I've never done and keen to learn. LOL, one of the things about me which has really impressed him is that I have my very own electric scrub cutter and he has seen some land which I cleared and converted to pasture before and after - just the size of backyard, but has turned out very well, and even the fruit trees - apples, peaches and nectarines have come back to life and bearing fruit since I gave them a little love.

 

Anyway, the wind is up here my dear. I have so much to do so had better sign off for now, but speak soon. Love Silver xxxx

[Realitynut]

Of course he hasn't felt this way about anyone else!!! YOU'RE special!!! I'm not a person who likes a lot of people, I alsways had just one good friend at a time growing up, at different points in my life....but I could tell that you were an old soul. You have more money than I have, but heck, everyone has more money than me!!! LOL, but I am doing what I always have wanted to do in my life...job wise. I just can't get the man thing right.

 

When you said you had floor to ceiling windows that looked out to the bush and the mountains....I could just picture that in my mind. I'm MUCH more a country girl than a city girl. My brother is out in the woods cuz he got land from Dad. My sis has about 10 acres with a small pond that the got from Dad. And now he's fighting with me, cuz he said something about helping me buy a small house. I don't want a puny little house, I want my OLD, big "Victorian" house back. It's up for sale, and is only two doors from where I live. I had worked on that house for 20 years and it kills me to have someone else to take it over. A small house would cost almost as much as my big house, because it dropped in price $50,000 dollars. Bad housing market here. My dad has lots of money, and his health has really deteorited in the last year. Now he thinks his time is near. But unless hes' controlling the purse strings, HE wants to decide what's best for everyone else. He's the most controlling person I ever met. So when people think I'm controlling, I think, WHAT??? you've never met my DAD!!!!

 

WOW, I sure can get off topic fast!

 

I am glad his hands are soft, and his fingers are long.....whats the rest of his anatomy like!!!! lol....I want to hear you choke again!!! lol I hope not long and soft!!! I just couldn't resist....I'm sure you are never going to show him this thread....hehehehe

 

Still jealous, but smiling....Carla

[elcie]

Hi silver, I've just got one thing to say to you...........YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!.....

[Silverbirch]

Hi Elcie, and thanks for the support! Just posted in your journal and looking forward to us meeting up at the beach when the good weather has well and truly set in if you are still up for it! Good to see you here.

 

Hugs Carla, you are funny! Thank you so much and I like you a lot too and sort of feel like I know you somehow. Well, I probably have more money than you on a week to week basis, but lost most of my money through divorce many years ago. Then I went back to study for quite a few years as a single parent, and haven't been in highly paid work. I don't own property, but then a lot of people out here lease their properties - even the old rich guy who sort of owns this place. He's one of those millionaires who lives like a pauper. Apparently for taxation reasons, he doesn't actually own this place where I live. It's to do with with taxation and negative gearing and things way too complicated for me to understand. The property I live on would be worth over $1 million dollars. It's a split level home around 35 years old, but I wouldn't say it is flash by any means but certainly comfortable. It's the land which is very valuable. You wouldn't buy land like this around here for less than $750,000. The 2 houses along the road were both owned by married couples who bought them 40 years ago, stayed here the whole time, and now 2 of the wives have died, but these old guys don't want to sell their properties even though they can't live on them anymore. As you would know, it takes a lot of time, energy and often expense to maintain these properties and you need at least a tractor. There's always something to be done here. I often have thoughts of what I would like to do if this property was mine. The dam here is very neglected and not used for anything except ducks swimming on it and the kangaroos and wildlife drinking from it. There are some of those Easter Lillies growing up the banks, and I was thinking today that it wouldn't be difficult to plant some Tiger Lillies or something similar which would be marketable in the flower industry. I read this great book about the origins and historty of the region and especially the farming. Farmers here have always needed to diversify and cater to current markets to be able to earn a decent living so they've had a lot of different types of crops and farming. Further down the road where the soil is better are quite a lot of vineyards and some orchards and native plant nurseries. There are also alpaca properties, and the place where I live was once partly used for poultry farming hence the grass where that was is still VERY green.

 

Hey, I can understand your disappointment about the house. Is there any way you can sell the idea to your father about the house you want. Hmm, I think you might do well if the next guy you catch is interested in property development. I have this feeling you would be very good at doing places up for profitable resales.

 

If and when I finally do get a place of my own, I'm going to deck out the main living area in retro style for it's practicality, especially with my lifestyle. I want to paint the main informal living area white, deck out the floors in black and white tiles, get some 1950's style vinyl and laminated furniture, some big collectible bblack and white photos (maybe pics of Harley Davidsons and vintage motorcycles or something similar) and also some colorful pop art prints. David and I found we both have a thing for certain old types of radios too. When I was in Tassie, I saw this one which was gorgeous. It was a durable type of plastic in baby blue. At the time, they were popular in pinks as well. Do you know the ones I mean?

 

Oh the rest of David's body is VERY nice too. ALL of his body is nice. I can hardly stop looking at his face. It's almost like looking at 2 faces in one. If you look at him front on, he has a boyish look - a very cute smile, but when I look at him side-on, he has this very manly, dignfied, intelligent and sensitve face. He's beautiful. My housemate's girlfriend has been saying for ages that she thinks he is very attractive. I just wasn't in the right headspace to give him a proper chance, even though I think that deep down, I knew that there was a connection and actually, an attraciton there.

 

Let me see, well, he has very large hands and feet. His grandmother was Polynesian, and his parents think that is where he gets his slightly olive complextion from. He has some short hair on his chest which is also surprisingly soft. His skin looks very healthy, and he has that type of healthy outdoor look to him. I like his lips a lot. Just the right size with a cupid's bow, but not too girly looking. That's as much as I can tell you about his body, but can assure you, it is all BEAUTIFUL. Much more than I could have hoped for or imagined I would find.

 

He's coming over tomorrow afternoon and staying and we are planning on spending Wednesday together so I probably won't get a chance to post for the next couple of days.

 

I feel SO over my ex and am genuinely starting to wonder what I saw in him. David texted and rang me tonight and I couldn't talk too long unfortunately. I'm ppretty excited about seeing him tomorrow and from what he says, he seems to be too.

 

Will be back probably Thursday and let you know how it went. Keep well and catch you then. Love Silver XXXXXXX

[Realitynut]

Yippee! Isn't it funny that when you are in love with a guy they become even MORE attractive??? I love an olive complexion...I guess cuz Dan was dark...lol...but they age so well, and don't wrinkle like us light skinned beauties. I have Norweigen, Dutch, German, and English in me.

 

It's too bad you don't own your land, does HE have his own place??? I mean I know he does, the animal house and all...

 

So cool that you have kangaroos 'outback'...just a little Aussie humor there...lol

 

BUT...this last post SHOCKED me! I thought by looking at that picture that you posted of an 'old cottage English' look, I was imagining your home to look like that. Soft, casual, overstuffed furniture, flowers in a vase type of thing. Now you are talking black and white, motorcycles, and retro...Egads! I have to totally rethink your home and taste. See? I really am living my life vicariously thru you and now David!!! lol now that you are a couple!

 

I understand not being on here...places to be, people to see! When I was with Dan, I put my phone in the bathroom and never answered it. If it was business, I thought they could just leave me a msg. I was with him, and nothing else mattered. Pretty sad how I felt about him, huh?

 

Well, it's gorgeous here today, suppose to be much cooler tomorrow. we're cooling down, and you're warming up! Hope you and Elcie enjoy the beach, sounds like fun. Dan and I use to travel a half hour to Lake Michigan. It was always cold there, but It's so huge it looks like an ocean. They had a dog beach, and he, pup and I would really enjoy ourselves. I really do miss our life. It was NOTHING like the 20 years I was married. People on here always think it was the 'other person' that was so bad. What happens if it was "I" that was the bad one? The needy one. The controlling one. Can you imagine my regret?

 

Give David and his cute boyish face, with his 'lovely' lips a big smooth from me for making you a VERY happy woman!

 

Love, Carla and pup

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla,

It's been an amazing couple of days here. I'm running late for work so will come back late tonight. Love to speak about interior decorating and property development. I've got quite a few idea I'd like to share with you, with some pics and links. I do actually have, not really Victorian furniture, more what would be described as closer to "Early Settlers" furniture at least my dining table and chairs are. They do have a farmhouse look. I think I mentioned before though that I'm interested a lot in the style influenced by British-Raj architecture so it basically entails having just a couple of good solid pieces of furniture, but then has lots of vibrant and rich colors in soft furnishings. Will get some pics of what I like.

 

I do also though like a very simple retro look for a main informal living are for practicality and other reasons I'll explain, and I think it's possible although a pleasant challenge to find a way where that living area can be merged and blended onto the British-Raj more formal areas.

 

I'm so happy. So much to tell you. I know you can find someone and be just as happy, but Girlfriend, seriously, you need to stop wanting and looking for a Dan clone. It aint going to make you happy.

 

Anyway, speak soon. xxxxx

[Silverbirch]

Hey Carla,

Here is the first link. You can click on images of the art of Sarina Baker. Like Margaret Olley, she mostly paints still life and images of her immediate surroundings. She is from Sydney as far as I know which has a slightly warmer climate than where I am - the climate here is Mediteranean and so many of the flowers and plants are different. If you ever saw the movie with Maggie Smith, "My House in Umbria (Italy)", the countryside in that film is similar to where I live - the Yarra Valley which has some of the most picturesque countryside in Australia. The furnishings in Sarina Baker's art is pretty basic but sturdy and like Margaret Olley, there is great vibrancy in color - she uses a lot of yellows and blues. The images on the pages I've linked you to may not be as vibrant as many other prints I've seen of her paintings. Like Margaret Olley's work, she paints rooms which I always feel like I'd be in. Her art also is the type I could actually live with every day in my home as opposed to brilliant masterpieces of subjects which I would find depressing to have in my living room. Tell me what you think.

 

link removed

[Silverbirch]

Oh Bum! I just had typed a long message with some links but lost my internet connection and the text I had typed.

[Silverbirch]

Hi Carla,

Hope you are there. I'm going to try to put up a couple of pics of David which I took yesterday - just for a short while. I think he is very ruggedly handsome. In fact, I would say a HUNK AND A HULK, but a very gentle person too.

 

Here he is: