Life in the Driver's Seat

[Seraphim]

ha. That's what most "normal" people are doing these days too.

 

This is true! Lol

[Fudgie]

My brother (Aspie) lives at college but only with a lot of help. His disability allowed him to get a private room and it's not your typical dorm place, it's very private, spacious, and quiet. He has laundry service. He also has a food court so he doesn't have to cook anything. He calls my parents multiple times a day. I think if he had separation anxiety, he would probably be at home for a while but he doesn't have that. He has anxiety in other ways thought, hence the constant calls home (and then to me, whenever he calls me, I know it's because my parents are busy and not picking up, so he gets frustrated and calls me).

 

He's not going to get disability $$ though.

 

Other than an incident that happened his freshman year, his college is really accepting. They seem to have a lot of Aspies at his college.

 

I had Aspies at my college too, although not as much as his. One of the first people I met was a female TA in my chem class who was veerrry Aspie, which I found surprising because Asperger's is more common in males (she came up and said 'Please don't be offended but you come accross as someone who has Asperger's and I see you're wearing an autism shirt.' I said 'Thanks for the compliment (not sarcastic) but no I am not Aspie, my brother is though.'" A couple of my male friends through college were Aspies. One was, looking back on it, someone that I probably would have tried to date if I weren't in a relationship at the time. No joke. They're everywhere.

 

I have a feeling that depending on where your son goes to school, he'll find more like him. I hope he can find a nice group of friends.

[Seraphim]

Hey Fudgie,

 

I think all Aspies suffer from anxiety of some sort and intensity. It must be so hard to live a life that confuses you on a constant basis.

 

I think when he goes to college he will find more like him.

[Seraphim]

My husband just got nominated for a public recognition.

[annie24]

Yay!!!!!!!!!

[Silverbirch]

He wants to be a videogame developer, with storyline as his specialty. So I'm sure we will have to fight like a dog to get there but I'm willing to take the fight. He graduates high school next summer and then he goes off to college. The psychologist said only to take a few courses at a time so he doesn't become overwhelmed. And eventually he will be able to live on his own, he just needs a lot of practice in some life skills, and develop coping methods for his separation anxiety.

 

 

 

Vic, One of my 6 nephews is studying to work developing video games. He also has some type of learning disability, and my youngest sister helped him so much. I'm not sure what his eventual diagnosis but I know that when he was in primary school, he was treated for ADHD and took Ritalin on school days. I'm certain that he has gotten work in something related while he studies. I can ask my sister about it if you like.

 

I know that she became very upset in his final year of high school because he had a maths teacher who used to leave them to do their own thing a lot, and my nephew didn't handle that well, and was distraught with his test results while he had that teacher. My sister said to me that he just doesn't cope without structure. In some areas, he is very, very intelligent. When he was little, I used to call him Sweet Pea because he reminded me of Popeyes and Olive Oyl's baby!

[Silverbirch]

ps, Vic, my son as you know graduated in Media Studies (Film), and I know there is a lot of study for that course in computers.

[Seraphim]

Hey SB,

 

Yes , my son needs lots of structure as well. He totally falls apart in the nonstructured environment. Isn't it difficult when a child is not typical ?

[Seraphim]

Last night we brought home our new snowblower. My moron neighbours were out in their yard having a smoke and staring at us. Plus they let their dog get in our yard again and run all over.

 

Anyway here is our beauty

link removed

[Seraphim]

Well CRAP!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it I just called our insurance company and if my son's assessment had been after October 1 they would've paid the entire amount!!!! Their coverage for psychological services is going up to $2000 per year per person. But because it's before October 1 what they cover is $1000.

[annie24]

gah.

[Seraphim]

gah.

 

Yeah they never advertise these changes. * sigh* I just want to hit my own head with a pan. Lol. But it's good to know if he ever needs psychology services again.

[Seraphim]

I have no idea how we are going to explain that little R has Asperger's to my husband's parents. They want nothing to do with any issues whatsoever that have to do with the mind or development.

[annie24]

Do you have to tell them?

[Seraphim]

Well, no ,we don't have to do anything of course. But they are a family that sweeps everything under the carpet. Unicorns and rainbows have to be blasting out of your butt 24 hours a day. That's not really the way I roll. I think people should know pertinent information.

[annie24]

well, what would they do with the information?

[annie24]

Well, no ,we don't have to do anything of course. But they are a family that sweeps everything under the carpet. Unicorns and rainbows have to be blasting out of your butt 24 hours a day. That's not really the way I roll. I think people should know pertinent information.

 

I understand your annoyance - i don't like it when there is pressure to be happy all the time - very fake.

[Seraphim]

well, what would they do with the information?

 

They will ignore it and tell me it's not true. My FIL is VERY insistent nothing is wrong with HIS grandson. As it was when I met them they used to whisper about the fact that their daughter had epilepsy , in front of her! I said what are you whispering for? And they said well you know.... And I said no I don't know ,don't talk about somebody in front her face. Epilepsy is not a dirty little secret and is not her fault.

[annie24]

Yeah, so no point in telling them.

[luminousone]

One time my mother in law got mad at me when I implied that my boys got their lactose intolerance from her, genetically. She got all huffy and said they absolutely did not! Even though she is lactose intolerant and so is her daughter...

 

Just tell your inlaws and let them digest it. They will likely deny it but I sure you expected that anyway...

[Seraphim]

One time my mother in law got mad at me when I implied that my boys got their lactose intolerance from her, genetically. She got all huffy and said they absolutely did not! Even though she is lactose intolerant and so is her daughter...

 

Just tell your inlaws and let them digest it. They will likely deny it but I sure you expected that anyway...

 

Yes I'm just thinking about it because the psychologist was trying to look for a genetic reason for why my son would have autism. My husband's family we would never find out because that would never be talked about in a gabillion years. My husband's family has epilepsy. My family well, my father's family has mood disorders. And my father's mother had a brother who is considered "slow". But I don't know what they meant by that. He died in the early 70s so I don't remember him. My mother met him many times so she said she would think about it. It could be too that there's no genetic reason. That just mine and my husband's genetics created a mutation.

 

On another note my brother said something the other day that really kind of broke my heart but I know he was never meaning to intend anything like that. He said I have money that I was going to give little R when he got married would you just like me to give it to him now? I have to think that it could be a real possibility my son will never marry and never have children. I have always always always wanted grandchildren. If we don't have grandchildren my husband's line will end altogether. My son is the only grandchild on that side.

[Fudgie]

There is always that chance, Vic, regardless of disability or otherwise. Heck, look at me and my siblings. There is very good chance that my parents will not have grandchildren and the "line" ends with them so to speak. They are okay with it now, at least, I think they are. I told my parents pretty early on. My siblings, well, I don't know.

 

We are and always will be a family even when we pass on and there is no one left.

[Seraphim]

Yeah ,it is something I would have to emotionally process maybe for a very long time. It took me 16 years to get over the fact I would never have another child.

 

However, my son has always said he does not want to get married but he would like to adopt children.

[Fudgie]

We all have hopes and dreams for our families and our loved ones, sort of an image in our heads of how things ought to turn out. It is very hard when they don't turn out that way. My parents had an image in their heads for how we would all turn out. It never worked out that way and not necessarily for the better and it's out of your control that's what makes it hard to swallow. I'm really sorry, I truly am. I can understand some of that pain.

[Seraphim]

We all have hopes and dreams for our families and our loved ones, sort of an image in our heads of how things ought to turn out. It is very hard when they don't turn out that way. My parents had an image in their heads for how we would all turn out. It never worked out that way and not necessarily for the better and it's out of your control that's what makes it hard to swallow. I'm really sorry, I truly am. I can understand some of that pain.

Exactly, it. Thank you. Hugs.