robertpaulsen Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 i recently lost the love of my life because i cheated on her numerous times and got caught(everytime was either drunk or one case in ibiza on ecstasy). the weird thing is things were perfect in our relationship, with my other ex i cheated but when i did things were really bad between us and thought we were over. well every guy i know in a relationship where they love the person has cheated guys my age and a lot older even the guys that i thought never did have,even my own father did it to my mother when they were young but they worked it out obviously,and im starting to think everyone does it just not everyone gets caught. im not trying to say what i did wasnt wrong like i know i will never do it again but do the people who never face consequences just keep doing it? Link to comment
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No, not everyone cheats. It looks like unhealthy relationships are what you see often and are familiar to you. As you meet more people, you will learn this is not the case. Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Two things you said caught my attention: First, you say that almost every guy you know has cheated. I honestly think that subconsciously you are trying to say "everyone does it" and by extension, "I'm not so bad if I do it too". "I'm not a horrible person, because that guy has done it, and so has that other guy, and so has my dad." Stop watching them. It doesn't matter what they do. Be the man that your girlfriend can count on to respect and lover her and be there for her. And only her. The moment you start trying to find strength in numbers, thats when you lose yourself. Secondly, you said "i know i will never do it again". Seriously? After doing it so many times ("numerous", as you put it), and using drunkenness as an excuse, can you honestly promise yourself that you won't? What's to stop you? You need to realize the incredible hurt that you put people through when you do these things. Everytime you have sex with someone else, think to yourself "how would I feel if my girlfriend was in my position right now, with another guy on top of her? How would I feel about that?" Just think. And if you know that you cheat when you drink, then stop drinking and doing drugs. Be a man. Link to comment
Yaz Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'll say yes, all men cheat, to some extent, whether it's watching porn or sleeping around. Many will disagree, but I will never, EVER trust a partner not to cheat on me. I enter all relationships with the expectation that they will. Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'll say yes, all men cheat, to some extent, whether it's watching porn or sleeping around. Many will disagree, but I will never, EVER trust a partner not to cheat on me. I enter all relationships with the expectation that they will. Don't let your security issues cloud your judgment. I've never cheated. Never will. But beyond that, watching porn isn't necessarily cheating. Cheating is described as doing something that you wouldn't normally do in front of your spouse/with their knowledge. I watch porn all the time. And my s.o. will know about it if they ask. They watch porn too. Neither of us had a problem with it. We each find other people attractive. That's a given. But crossing the line is crossing the line. You need to find a good man who won't cheat on you. But not all men are cheaters. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No, not all men cheat. Link to comment
Jetta Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No they don't all cheat but if the opportunity would present itself many men would falter. Like a previous poster said I don't take for granted that they're faithful because pressures happen, various things happen that create circumstances where a normally faithful guy isn't faithful. Now I believe my dad was faithful but my mom says he faltered once early in their marriage (he went with don't ask what happened on the business trip because I won't tell). She thinks his womaniser boss pressured him into an affair because he came home with a black eye. She never asked she just assumed the worst. However he was faithful in the time I knew him. My brother I believe will continue to be faithful, because I know how much he loves his wife. But still things happen and you have to be weary. My 2nd husband was faithful in the 8 years we were together but I believe if the opportunity would have presented itself he wouldn't have remained faithful. Just like he was quick to marry the 1st woman who responded to his profile, he says. Link to comment
Hanyou Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I take offense to be lumped in the category of "all men are cheaters"! when it comes to relationships that is...if it only affects me and god, then I have cheated before (ie. personal goals in diet), but I will never cheat on anyone I care about - I'm talking about friends/family, not just my SO, when I know it will hurt them and their trust in me!!! Link to comment
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'll say yes, all men cheat, to some extent, whether it's watching porn or sleeping around. Many will disagree, but I will never, EVER trust a partner not to cheat on me. I enter all relationships with the expectation that they will. That's very sad. Why even get into relationships then? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Not all men, as well as not all women cheat. However everyone does has the ability to cheat, and no matter how you slice it, it comes down to one thing...a choice. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No, not all men cheat. While, you can say the same for women. There are some faithful people in the world. Yes, a majority of the men may lead to temptation, but some actually have self control not to do anything. Things happen sometimes, but you shouldn't look into your past, or your peers on what you feel is right or wrong. People can change, it's whether or not you're willing to. Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Not all ppl, but most I believe. I dont trust a soul 100%. We live in such a selfish society. Link to comment
velvette Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 no I don't think all men cheat... and I wouldn't date a guy who has a history of cheating. Link to comment
Elaine Marley Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'll say yes, all men cheat, to some extent, whether it's watching porn or sleeping around. Many will disagree, but I will never, EVER trust a partner not to cheat on me. I enter all relationships with the expectation that they will. I know what you mean. Link to comment
robertpaulsen Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 i never had an affair like ive never cheated emotionally any time it happened i was presented with sex and at that moment i never said no, like to be honest my personality and attitude attracts women and sometimes i just couldnt stop myself. im starting counselling now on monday to really find out what makes me do it because im sick of trying to excuse myself and find an answer, but i am confident that i wont hurt anyone again and im going to stay out of relationships until im sure i can be fateful. but like i said any man i know from close personal friend to aquintance when presented with a chance to have no strings sex with a girl they havent said no. and im not using this as an excuse as only after the truth came out about me that people started to tell me about their infidelitys. Link to comment
DrKitten Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Sounds like you are on the right track. Good luck with everything. Link to comment
ElectricSheep123 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Honestly, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. And I admire your effort to even realize that you have a problem and seek therapy. But, as a victim (although I hate to use that word) of cheating, I can tell you, it's the most painful thing that you can inflict on someone who loves you. There were so many things that go through your head when someone cheats on you: wasn't I good enough, what did they give that I couldn't etc etc. was it my fault? It took me many months to not be emotional about it. Took me many months to get the image of them "doing it" out of head. When you cheat on someone, you torture them. Seriously, you have to learn to say no. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'll be conservative and guess that 70% of men have cheated at one point or another. If we add the (IMHO fictional idea of) "emotional cheating" in, I'd gladly bump that number up to 85%. I think the numbers for men and women are about the same. In my opinion, men are more prone to cheating (or rather, less prone to monogamy), while women have more opportunities to cheat, so it all balances out. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 My father once told me no woman had ever come on to him after he married. I know it wasn't because he's unattractive, he was voted cutest in his class. He said they knew better than to think he'd be THAT way. And after my mom died, they were on him like bees on honey. So, no, absolutely NOT all men cheat. Link to comment
Glowguy Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 No, of course not. Some men have integrity and self control. Yes, the numbers are high for both genders and there are a lot of selfish people out there, but I seriously doubt it's as high as 85%. Maybe 60%. I'll say yes, all men cheat, to some extent, whether it's watching porn or sleeping around. Many will disagree, but I will never, EVER trust a partner not to cheat on me. I enter all relationships with the expectation that they will. Well if you consider porn as cheating then that expectation is dead on. I don't think porn is even close to cheating though. Link to comment
Twiles Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I cannot speak for other men, but I have been married to my wife for 31 years. In those 31 years, have I had opportunities to cheat on her? Yes How many of those opportunities did I act on? 0 Why? - 31 years ago, I made a commitment in my marriage vows. And in those 31 years, nothing that has taken place to justify or warrant breaking that commitment. - Integrity means something to me. - How could I hurt the one person I should never want to hurt? - I want to be able to look at my wife with honest eyes. To me, it's very Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I cannot speak for other men, but I have been married to my wife for 31 years. In those 31 years, have I had opportunities to cheat on her? Yes How many of those opportunities did I act on? 0 Why? - 31 years ago, I made a commitment in my marriage vows. And in those 31 years, nothing that has taken place to justify or warrant breaking that commitment. - Integrity means something to me. - How could I hurt the one person I should never want to hurt? - I want to be able to look at my wife with honest eyes. To me, it's very I hope I will find a man like you someday. Link to comment
Iakasot Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I've never cheated, but I have considered it in relationships that were falling apart. I can't say I would have never cheated if I had a lot of girls interested in me though. Most guys don't have many girls interested in them, in my experience, and I've never been one who had either. I've heard it said there's nothing as comforting as the arms of an understanding and warm woman (another woman) when one has a verbally and emotionally abusive partner. Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I'll say yes, all men cheat, to some extent, whether it's watching porn or sleeping around. Many will disagree, but I will never, EVER trust a partner not to cheat on me. I enter all relationships with the expectation that they will. That's so sad to read. I suppose if you consider porn to be "cheating" then yes, you're going to have a hard time finding a man (or even woman maybe) who doesn't do that. But in terms of sleeping around, breaking your heart, lying to you, betraying you...no, not every man does that, and I hope you find a nice one someday. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I don't believe all men cheat, but you certainly are one that does. Link to comment
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