i'm such a wreck right now. Help.Nonchalance fail.

[TheJerseyKid]

One-itis eh? You haven't been dabbling into the world of pick-up and forced attraction have you? That's a term often used by pick-up artists, hence the question.

[Real Deal]

SF - what's crackin' brother? Seems you are doing well. Keep pressing man!

[twitchyfingers]

i can't bring myself to actively date right now. Its too...off putting. too fake. too slow. too well planned. i want a bit of crazy, a bit of intensity and passion. visit norcal!!! but bring a jacket. it's been raining here.

 

Not the p-word (passion)...auuuuuuugh! Nooooooooooooooooo!

 

I have grown to HATE that damn word. My ex punched me in the heart with it: "I'm sorry, but I don't feel the passion." AUUUUUUUGH!

 

OK, I feel better now.

 

Dude, I hear you. Dating can feel like some sort of protracted job interview or tea ceremony or something. Blecch!

 

I'd love to visit NorCal. Bring on the chill and rain and jackets! Damn all this SoCal sun and pretty, tan people. Yuck! Heheheh. Got some interviews this week, so fingers crossed I finally get some income flowing soon, and can be more mobile and roadtrip.

[sfindependent]

One-itis eh? You haven't been dabbling into the world of pick-up and forced attraction have you? That's a term often used by pick-up artists, hence the question.

 

HAHAH, i actually try to avoid it. A few years ago, my game was pretty good. I was hanging out with a good friend of mine and he was starting to quote all these "pick up" terms and moves. I researched it, thinking I could improve a better game. Turns out, it was like forcing me to stir a whirlpool going the other way. completely lost my game and started doubting myself. Blech.

 

SF - what's crackin' brother? Seems you are doing well. Keep pressing man!

 

it's cracking. much to the boards' help. I think I mentioned this to the thread; I was supposed to go to FL's mom's wedding in TN this month but since we're broken up, I didn't go. I'm actually disappointed I didn't go. Yes, half of it was because of what "not going" means (me and FL BU being BU'd) but also, I wanted to go because I know it was going to be a beautiful garden wedding. Never been to one of those especially in Rural TN. I texted her this morning asking for her parent's addy. which she replied to almost immediately but responses were as usual, short and to the point.

 

It's always been a big frustration of mine to have to deal with her inability to engage in conversation with me, especially meaningful ones where a proper back and forth reply is welcomed (even when we were together). She's always been short and lacked enthusiasm. she also couldn't hold a deep, engaging, share-your-true-feelings kind of talks. she's that introverted. I'm not. i'm the complete opposite. I'm all about chatting it up, talking about feelings and clarifying things (it's part of my job, and therefore ingrained in my personality). i need some openness.

 

I'm trying not to care about this minimalistic attitude of hers. I brush it off and tell myself "pah, oh well." I'm not gonna let her bring me down with her abruptness and short sightedness when it comes to having meaningful connections with me. it does still hurt somewhat i've to be honest, but i move on. I don't blame her for lacking the enthusiasm to engage with me either, especially when the connection between us has been frayed, plus her personality, i shouldnt expect much. I'm trying to respect her of that and let her come out to me on her own. In a lot of aspects, i'm still bridging my other relationships (friends etc) together, so she's not really a priority. With her, i make my presence known and my sincerity to want something meaningful between us but I'm not forcing it upon her. I'll let her see it on her own that i've changed and have this new sense of valuing people i care about an improved sense of self worth and increased personal value. i'm not rushing her. I still feel SOME anxiety when i'm dealing with her, so i'm well aware that it's still not time for me to actually fully involve myself with her as friends; much more her lack of motivation to initiate anything significant (friendly gestures or otherwise) with makes me NOT want to give as much as I could. Who would want to put 100% of anything with getting only 25% in return? time will come and time will tell. in the mean time, i'm trying to be a better person overall. This is about me being a better person and people like MI and my true friends are reaping the benefit of it.

 

opinions/feedback are welcome.

 

Not the p-word (passion)...auuuuuuugh! Nooooooooooooooooo!

 

I have grown to HATE that damn word. My ex punched me in the heart with it: "I'm sorry, but I don't feel the passion." AUUUUUUUGH!

 

OK, I feel better now.

 

Dude, I hear you. Dating can feel like some sort of protracted job interview or tea ceremony or something. Blecch!

 

I'd love to visit NorCal. Bring on the chill and rain and jackets! Damn all this SoCal sun and pretty, tan people. Yuck! Heheheh. Got some interviews this week, so fingers crossed I finally get some income flowing soon, and can be more mobile and roadtrip.

 

same here! she said " don't feel the passion anymore. BURN! as much as I tried, it didn't happen. She went as far as saying "i feel we're jsut roommates now" and "i don't even like kissing you". *spits*

 

dating now makes me feel somewhat, jaded. I hung out with a girl the other day and it just made me feel like i was working to get something out of it. So in the middle of things i said "f it" and just loosened up and was myself. i think she was a little weirded out that I was TOO relaxed. Now i wasn't talking about my innermost secrets and all that, but i didn't put up a front either. People appreciate me for who i am, and if she can't see that, oh well. not too worried about it.

 

MI girl did say something to me that made me REALLY happy last night.

 

she said "don't take this the wrong way, but you would make a good husband". I really appreciated that and made me feel that part of who i was with FL was validated, and the improvements i've been mindful of was appreciated.

 

I wonder who'll be the lucky woman? hahahah. she'll find me.

[sfindependent]

Ugh. Been feeling kind of weird today. Suddenly missing FL alot. I've been very good with taking care of myself and moving on forward with life. Work's been good, family has been good, friends have been good.

 

But i still miss her. Genuinely. I miss how she treated me at home and made me part of her life, how she made me laugh, how she acted, she pouted, the good parts of our time together, even through the horrible end, we still had good memories together. ugh. reminiscing is hell. But can't help it. Therapy and support from my friends have been great with getting over her, but it's also uncovering and recognizing qualities that i lacked before and have since changed and am more aware of. I have this weird drive to want to start initiating contact more, but i've not gotten a decent "return" on investment, so to speak. So i'm maintaining self respect and not plead or ask her back. I don't want to open a world of hurt again. besides, i'm super untrusting of people right now. i'm jaded and very much afraid of getting hurt again.

 

I know i'm hoping against hope and wishing for something i shouldn't be doing so but life has sort of been leading me to want her back lately. I want her to meet the new me. the more mature yet still playful, nicer, more considerate me. But i know that's just me wishing and experiencing the waxing and waning aspect of a BU.

 

Sigh. i'm not going to do anything stupid such as profess my love, force myself, rush with her etc... no. But i am glad we're on "LC", which i hate to say I initiate (she's introverted and very proud and hates to admit weakness). i don't call/text/IM her all the time, only once every two weeks. and we've talked about hanging out when she gets back. I suggested meeting up last i spoke with her and she agreed. didn't pressure her with questions like "when? where? etc etc"... i just said "cool, looking forward to it".

 

I AM living my life without her, no problem. I am doing well with myself. It's nice to know i can take care of myself without her... but now really appreciate her loving gestures when we were together. But it would be nice if she started openning up to me and us start talking more reciprocatingly.

 

wishful thinking from a man missing someone. that's all. Sorry. no worries, i'm not being depressed and all... just siiiiigh. lol.

 

happy friday!

[Glowguy]

I hate to say it but I've been feeling the same way lately. I wish it would just go away, but I don't know if it ever will. I texted her a bit yesterday, but just a few exchanges about beer. Even before that though, she had been on my mind a lot.

 

Bah, I guess we'll just have to find a way to distract ourselves. Might be time for a night out in the Mission.

[sfindependent]

@GG,

 

the thing is, I know she and I aren't good for each other. At least not right now. Who knows about the future, right? I mean, i'm to the point where, as a lot of people have pointed out, i'm more reminiscing about the good stuff that went on between us now than focusing on the bad. I miss her and our good tiems, yes. And i guess she does too in a way. Chatting with her last she told me "i went to an old restaurant we visited". i thanked her for reminding me of "good times". But i also know of the bad, and it's also a factor in making me realize i do not need drama in my life, regardless of whether or not the drama is of her fault, or no fault of her own. and as far as the drama that comes from me, well it's something i definitely need to improve on.

 

I went home to her place saturday to pick up my car. She's still in FL and i thought it would be a great opportunity for me to be able to get my car done without feeling anxious about seeing her under weird circumstances. I chatted with her via text though for a minute as well. Nothing to heavy, but mostly about her trip. she said she felt weirded out being out of town and with her folks so i just kind of asked her "why weirded out" and had a brief convo about her being with family and how old they all are (she's 28 around 50yo's.. to which i said "haha, you're old anyway. Just fill me in when you get back". Slowly, i am letting go... but at the same time, it's good/weird that i've been hanging out with MI. I'm still realizing a lot of my "faults".

 

btw, when i went to her house, i saw two pieces of our furniture on the side walk. One was a wooden table her and her mom gave me as part of a moving in gift to my old apartment (before we moved in). it was missing a leg. The other one was this leather chair we both picked up at on a curb and loved. It was torn to pieces. No legs, knife marks and just dumped like it was nothing. I'm not sure what happened to it. It's a bit concerning to have that chair out on the curb, because she loved that chair and it's now torn up. I had the urge to text/call her and ask her about what happened to it, but i didn't. It's none of my business, so i opted to repress the urge and not even mention it. IF it comes up in a conversation, i'll ask but to put an effort into finding out and showing "more concern than necessary" isn't something i need to do for her. She's on her own and so am i.

 

I've also been realizing a lot of my faults and how i'm handling "damage control" a lot more maturely. On Friday, i double booked two "hangouts" with a couple of friends. Yesterday i get this text saying "since im you're good friend, it would be fair to tell you that it hurt me when you RSVP'd on my brthday but didn't come out"... to which i replied "i can understand why you would be upset (i then explained the situation) then said "you are one of the coolest people that i know. when you are ready to kick it, i'd like to make it up with a hangout/dinner/drinks etc... i'm really sorry and i feel bad for it"... not verbatim but that's how i sorta handled it.

 

Maybe we're just destined to be friends. I can't really be with someone who brings out the best AND worst in me. I've been thinking about how i treated her on my part and I sorta want to acknowledge that with her (say things like "i'm sorry, i understand how some of my actions made you feel), but i won't. At least not right now. I'm not rushing a friendship as i said. I'm letting things come as they go. I've got time on my side and getting my lfie back on track is my most important priority.

 

when the time comes, i'd like to be able to improve ALL my relationships. Not just with MI or with FL. It would be awesome to have good relationships with people you care about. i realize that change comes from the desire to actually be better, and being with people whom i've been involved intimately shows more of myself to MYSELF. Knowing what my partner needs from me is one of the best improvements i can ever do in anticipation of my next relationship. With whomever that could be with.

[CMS]

Again, I am proud of you, my fellow Asian American brother. Its good you gain insights about yourself, seeing yourself no longer as the invincible and flawless guy. Letting go is hard but its definitely doable. You will become a better person from this, and hey, who knows whats going to happen in the future, but you are going to be in a better place regardless of what happens.

[sfindependent]

thanks cm,

 

i think it helps that i'm being honest about myself. I still have those feelings of wanting her but it's changed from needing her to just wanting her. Hell, i want a new car, a better paying job, a girlfriend, kids, etc., but i don't need any of these. I also have been honest to myself that i STILL have feelings for her... it makes me aware of my actions and it's consequences. Hanging out with MS, i was aware i was over her, and it made it easier for me to transition from being "ex bf" to just "friend".

 

i really hate to mention it, but she's not in a good place either. Seeing the furniture all tore up (they're wood furniture and it must have taken a good deal of hitting from something to it to have broken it up like that, maybe from drunken nights? i dunno... i can only assume) makes me thankful i wasn't at home when that happened. I'm also thankful i'm not part of that clique that she has right now if her life's such a mess. i'm in a good place somewhat. i'm still making mistakes but i try to surround myself with positive energy. It's just a matter of polishing the rough edges.

 

I also have understand that respect, trust and love should be earned, not given freely. I was talking to MI about this exactly and it's making me realize that some people just take advantage of these things , me included especially. On the converse, she's not done anything to gain my respect, trust and love again. Who knows when we meet if that will ever be restored. I know i've done my part in losing HER trust and respect towards me, but again, it's a dance that needs to be done by two people. it's a POV i'm trying to place in all my relationships (friends, fam), not just with her. hopefully one day, the people i've disappointed will give me the opportunity to turn their anger and resentment towards me from distrust and disrespect, into more positive energy.

 

one day at a time.

[sfindependent]

past few days have definitely been a weird experience for me. Not sure if anyone's out there but i hope i can get some clarity and some brain storming about where and what to do for the meantime ( i know the answers but hell)

 

so, the good stuff: Hung out with MI AND MS at the bar on monday night. No crazy party athmosphere, but rather just hanging out... chit chatting etc. they hit it off. It was funny that when MS was talking to a few guys at the bar, she would introduce us as "this is SF, he dated me and MI" something like that. MS ended up digging a good friend of mine and quite honestly, i'm not bothered by it. Time has truly passed and I am not at all bothered. I think it also showed maturity on our parts that we've grown out of the resentment, anger and heartache towards each other that followed after the BU. MI asked me why her impression of her was so bad from the way I described her a few years ago ( i was hurt and just described this awful picture of MS), i guess it just means that people behave differently when they're in a relationship vs. friendship. me and MS are/can be really good friends and its pretty dope.

 

the bad: that same night, i posted "gadda**it" on my fb wall. just those words.... no explanation or anything. FL posted something against it saying "language!!" a few hours later. she hasn't posted on my wall in weeks.

 

I'm not really thinking it's a symbolic gesture of anything other than she still has me on her wall and checks up on me once in a while. (it's breadcrumbs, man! as MIC would say ). MI and i have been hanging out a lot (since she's sorta living with me) she's been tagging me on pics and check ins. so i'm sure she's well aware of what's going on with my life, somewhat. On the otherhand, ive been pretty good with not following her wall myself. i've set up the filter so i won't see if anything or anyone posts something i won't necessarily be happy with. Why would i right?

 

Anyway, she's been out of town for two weeks and today she's coming back to town. I've to admit, i'm a bit anxious about knowing she's back in town again. it's also a weird feeling that i know she's being picked up by a friend (guy, girl, whomever) from the airport and will get her car back from whomever she left her car with. In thinking why i'm feeling this way, i guess it just reminds me that we're not together anymore. that she has her own life now and i have mine. she's having someone else do the things i'd do for her regularly and i've to admit, i just feel sad about it. I'm not going to do anything about it. We talked about hanging out when she got back the last time we spoke but i'm trying... trying really hard to get it in my head that every good feeling i have for her is currently unsubstantiated. that it's all just words. words words words.

 

on the otherhand, i've really been trying to get my act together as a person. I was talking to MI last night and there's really some inherent qualities in my personality that i don't like. I've been aware of it, and honestly, i've been really feeling apologetic about my actions and I really think that that's a part of me that drove her away. I'm not discounting HER OWN feelings and her own reasons why she left but i sure did somethings to contribute to her walking out on me. Part of me still wants to prove her that, despite me knowing that it's probably pointless since we're not together anymore. Maybe if our friendship gets better, then yeah. but i'm not holding my breath and other people like MI will benefit from the changes i've been making with how i deal with conflict and relationships in general.

 

Ugh. i hope this anxious feeling of trying to make it right just goes away and just move on completely. She's gone. No mas. finito. no more. i'm fine living without her and i should just keep moving on. I think i'm doing well enough on my own. I want that "hope" to just go away. there's still that sliver of it and it's something i want to just.... blllech.

 

we'll see.

[Ms Darcy]

How long have you guys been broken up?

[sfindependent]

january 16th. moved out without discussing it with her on feb1st

[sfindependent]

i just need to be over this, and be stronger. ive been fighting a good fight and me winning isnt winning her back but rather, moving on and learning from life's challenges. its been 4months already of LC. i didnt ask or beg to get her back instead ive been working on myself. i lost weight, been reading books, meeting new people, getting more involved with work, being more self aware of my faults, actively trying to change those faults, trying to be a better person in general. all this through LC. i know this has turned into a journal of sorts but im glad people are still responding to it.

 

i think ive grown up a lot. i look good too, ive lost all the beer weight ive gotten. ive a sick apartment. an awesome job. a great set of true friends who have been slpwly growing out of the same old bar scene. my priorities have somewhat changed too. i am more into advocating for the elderly, ive been invited to meet amd work with the one of the program directors of another institution to collaborate on giving out talks about mental health (im only thrty one and by no means an "expert"...

 

all in all it proves i dont need her to be happy. im working my own way, though i still wish to share my happiness with her

at times. no matter. my time will come. i just need to be positive about it.

[TheJerseyKid]

Part of you is still holding on just a little too much I think... I've got a feeling, even as non chalant as you've been, she STILL knows you're there...

[dramallama]

sf, how long ago did she dump you? Don't you think this has gone on for too long? How about instead of trying to play a game with her, you actually move on?

[sfindependent]

part of me still is holding on, maybe 15%. but ive not acted upon it. i know it doesnt seem to be from my posts. most of my posts here involve her. im aware that holding on isnt good for me at all. im not depriving myself of the beauty of singleblessedness. the remaining parts of me still clings but i know that part is disillusioned and not good for my growth. im not sitting at home sitting on my hands waitin for her to call. maybe she does know that thejerseykid in the back of her mind. butnim not fulfilling that ego boost. im not playing any games with her either, drama. ive left her alone and let her do her thing and ive been doing mine. im not intetionally doing anythin to catch her attention such as posting on fb or on any social networking site we're both on, talking to her friends or any of the like. hard to believe but i have been moving on. it gets easier by the day but there would be those days where id be like "man!". MI pointed it out and she knows me fairly well that me and FL arent compatible at all which deep down i truly believe. its a

day to day process.

[TomboyMS]

SF, I think you are making progress. I think it's normal to still think about the ex a little. You obviously cared deeply about her. You don't seem to be obsessing over her now. You are living your life and starting to realize that you will be fine with or without her in it. I'm happy for you.

[sfindependent]

thank you MS. I guess to dissect my current emotions a bit, i'd have to say that yes, a very small part of me is still interested (hahah pun intended coz i'm asian). but i'm also getting over the fact that I don't need to be with her, or want her at this current moment. I'd be lying if i said "oh im over her disgusting face" completely, but i'm busy with myself and getting my life together. i am crazy busy with work and just trying to stabilize an otherwise crazy life is a fulltime job 24/7.

 

Speaking of which, i will be getting my car from the shop (i had it towed from the FL's house last week) this coming week. I'm excited to have a car! hahahaha awesome. I might have to cut my therapy hours down to once every 2weeks for a minute. Cash flow's a bit low nowadays.

 

last night MS texted me asking me what i was doing. she wanted to come over so i said yes, then invited a couple more friends (thanks for coming out GlowGuy). we hung out at my place had drinks and food for an impromptu small party. By the end of the night both a buddy of mine and MS spent the night. no sex, mind you. she was on the couch, i stayed on the a beach chair and MI stayed on the bed. by the time i left the house for work this morning i left MS and MI at home. i still can't believe we all hang out as friends.

 

Come this morning, i get the randomest email yet from the ex. Again, i'm preempting this with "i'm not interpreting this thinking she wants me back". I know more than that she sent me two pics of my family's thanksgiving dinnertable back a year or two ago. she sent me a picture of a turkey! a gad**mn turkey. it's almost too funny. i'll email her back "thanks for the 2 pics".

 

i know people will say "keep moving SF" and i am moving on. i just wonder what the otherside of the spectrum might say... you know? just...curious. and please, give me some credit here. I'm a mature adult and as wrecked as i was a while ago. i'm 100% opposite. i'm money, baby.

[anthony4]

Since some of my better known friends are in here..

Need input.

Women welcome too.

 

A gal tells you she likes the way you "strut" when you're with her on your first couple dates.

FF to today, a couple months later.

When you enjoy being seen with her at a local watering hole, she says you are "marking your turf", implied in a bad way.

i wasn't obnoxious, touchy-feely or PDA.

what gives, other than the lifelong enigma that is woman?

I really am at a loss.

[sfindependent]

Anthony! how are you doing, brother? Jump in! the water's fine, lol.

 

this is her tish testing you. I really doubt it if she really took offense to you "marking your territory", but rather, just seeing how far you are into her and how you think of her. I wasn't there, but i've a feeling she was trying to subconsciously feed her ego. Nothing wrong with that everyone does it. But i would have replied with something humorous, flirtatious, and sincere. say Something along the lines of "hell yeah, it's awesome to be walking around with someone as attractive as me", give her a little pet on the butt, grin boyishly indicating you're joking and then move on from the subject. you're confident, playful and you're the prize.

 

but remember to put the cherry on top by doing things like taking her hand firmly but assuredly, walk in front of her and pull her towards a seat at the bar.

 

what it gives is the kind of body language that indicates that you can lead (walking ahead of her when she's doubtful), that you are there for her (holding her hand), and your words shouldd indicate calmness and confidence that despite her being attractive and doubtful(comfort), you're not into her as just someone who's an accessory(she's not just a chunk of yummy flesh you show off). try this one day. don't play her tish games.

[anthony4]

I broke it off with her tonite.

I can't play games.

She was way too bullheaded, stubborn and just plain stoic.

I'm traveling to Ohio sunday with a gal i met when we were parted a few weeks ago.

I need to be able to be friends with some woman at some point.

This other gal and I went almost all the way, and I stopped it beforehand then.

It is refreshing to be able to be totally honest and frank with no strings.

We will probably date, but for now, a new course of action.

There seems to be so many available women when confidence and self-assurance avails.

Again, Life is good!

[sfindependent]

ahhh... can so easily replaced! lol.

 

exactly. I love that about confidence. it's just so... empowering.

 

goodluck with the new lady friend. i'm sure the old one will come around and will be back ten fold. hahahah

[sfindependent]

how's everyone in ENA land?

 

been quiet for a while, and haven't heard much from people over here. I hope i've not scared them off hahahaha.

 

anyway, spoke with the ex 2x this weekend. Nothing big which i really don't care. One was saturday AM online. asked her "so have you figured out what you plan to do?" "hell naw" in regards with her life. She had a party at her house the night before and told me she was having a drink at that moment (145pm) to cure her hangover. that really turned me off. we joked around a bit then i bid good day, i told her "take care of yourself" and wished she would find work soon. All of which i really meant, no games and no expectations of anything in return.

 

she texted me the next day "mom got the package and was touched (with what i sent). thanks" i said "cool, gave them a gag gift with it too" "nice hahah". that was it. i could could've cared more or extended the conversation but really, i wasn't into talking to her at a lenghty period a) nothing to talk about b) don't want a self destructive person in my life c) i kind of don't care to be honest what she thinks. d) i personally aren't ready to deal with anyone like her. her lifestyle right now isn't... well... that's not how i want to live my life. it's hypocritical for me to say coz she's an alkie... i am too.

 

anyway, i am having a stressful week due to $$$. i put my car up in the shop and it's 1000.00 up in repairs already. i've already invested in it and jumping midstream to just dump it would be just a waste. I kind of figured well, if it's running, then i can just sell it and cut my losses. The only way i can sell it is if it's running. donating it would be a joke, parting it out would make more $$$. anyway, i hope i'm making the right financial decisions.

 

i really want to get my life started, financially. i want a change of pace. get the "noise" out, live a fruitful life. i shouldn't be focused too much on gaining friends or socializing. It'll come when it comes. that moment of clarity when it clicks in your head just came and its telling me "get your tish straight and everything else will follow" i hope that thought sticks around for a while. i sure need to get my life together.

[sfindependent]

woke up from a horrible dream last night.

 

In my dream, i was out with the whole family and FL decided to tag along... in my dream it was her way of attempting a reconciliation or a friendship of sorts which i said fine. We were driving this huge RV style bus that had the fanciest gadgets and we were going to a vacation house we owned. On the way ther we decided to stop by a restaurant, and left after supper. Fl gave me the keys and told me to drive. At this point, there was a storm that was horrible and i was fine with driving. Then in front of me after driving through cliffs and thin rocky roads, i see a flash flood and it pushed our RV out from the road and tossing everyone out. I get to gain my composure enough to see my whole family including FL being swept away into this huge storm made lake in the horizon. I rush to help them and was blocked by this huge boulder by the man made lake. By the time i got around to it, i can see floating bodies everywhere. None from my family nor FL. But in my dream i assume they're dead. next scene i remember was rushing up the stairs to go up this old fort that was around the lake that appeared from the storm to overlook any casualties. There was a guy who was trying to get infront of me and i let him. On his way up, his WINGS popped out the back of his shirt but he quickly tucked it back in... i call him out on it and he laughed. But then, i realize that everyone of my family died including FL. I was balling in my dream. it was crazy. I woke up confused, mad and sweaty. hahahahahhaha weird. Anyone can interpret that dream for me?

 

anyway, work's crazy today but i'm taking a breather to get somethings out on paper (or rather on the thread)... I'll tell it when it comes (i don't want to jinx it) but this month's turning out to be one hell of a month.

[Real Deal]

Hey SF - sounds like you are moving forward. Since NC is not in the cards for you ti seems like LC is working pretty well - your choice (but I still think a solid month or so of NC would work wonders for that remaining "15%").

 

Anthony, good for you brother. You have boundaries and standards and she beoke them/is not living up to your expectations. There is nothing, and I repeat NOTHING that is more attractive to women than a man that takes charge of his own life (romantic and in general) and does not put up with any BS. Not saying that we should be Richard Heads about it, but just in control of our own reality. SF was right - her comments about the "strut" was a total sh*t test. She wanted you to back down and kiss her butt. If that is how you REALLY are/act and you are confident, then roll with it.