Iam disappointed that I'm not over it yet.

[SA2000]

I could definitely see myself with my ex. The problem is that I have never witnessed a relationship work long term first hand. Also once I get to a certain point in a relationship it's as though I don't want to progress. Although I loved my ex deeply I often contemplated leaving. I don't know why. I think her leaving allowed me to be alone and still have the right to sulk. I miss parts of the relationship more often then I thought I would though. But I'm adjusting.

[gallop30]

We went to see a stand up comedian about a year ago. It was hilarious. I just saw her last night. I am not trying to sweat it. Plus I have some studying to do. I like to see her and then not see her for a little while. Seeing her multiple days in a row makes me want to see her more. I am getting used to not seeing her which is what I want.

 

yeah right.

 

and when that happens you'll start bombarding with posts about how over her you are.

you are a funny guy.

 

what makes me laugh is the fact that we're here on ENA posting like bunch of inexperienced "kids" sometimes,we give each other advice like we know what's up,when in fact we have no idea ourselves,haha. it was just a thought,made me laugh.

 

if my friends would know that i'm on a relationship advice site ,they would laugh they're *** off.

 

the fact that we all like to help each other is beautiful.

 

the main thing is that we all should know how to take advice and tweak it in a way that works best for our own situation,and that's the hardest part.

[SA2000]

Agreed. I get advice from so many different angles. It's funny how my married friends say if you love her then you have to be patient and do what it takes to get to a point where you can make it work. You're still talking so there must be a lot of love there.

 

My single friends or those who recently came from broken relationships say cut bait and move on. She's taking advantage of the situation. It's all bases on prospective.

[SA2000]

It's been a rough few months or whatever but I see some light. I think I'm finally ready to get back on my feet and get back on the ol' dating horse. I know I seem to change my mind frequently but thats usually based on the actions of my ex. But after long thought I think it's time. I checked out a dating sight and saw someone I would be interested in seeing. I have never done the whole dating site thing before but I figured WTH I'll check it out.

 

I think dating someone I don't know could be exactly what I need. It'll help me clear my head and give me a fresh perspective. I look forward to getting out there again and possibly finding someone more stable then the young lady that brought me here. I feel as though I gave her mire then enough time and now I can move on without much regret. At some point you just say screw it though and get back out there.

 

I feel pretty good today.

[Calblee]

Hey SA,

 

Am reading your daily posts.

 

My ex was a single child brought up in a slightly broken home.

 

The OCS is indeed a problem that can create emotional imbalance or long term ties.

 

Not to say that you are the one with the problem but i think you may want to relook into it to understand yourself better and gain some new perspectives into your problems.

[SA2000]

You are right Calblee. I need to understand myself better. After some good self reflection time I am coming to more realizations about myself, my goals, and what ultimately makes me happy. I feel great today.

 

I will look back at this as the best/worst time of my life. Sometimes we need pain to grow. I will be a MUCH happier person now. I'm excited again for what the future holds.

[SA2000]

Just checking in. Nothing really new here. Talked to the ex on Friday but didnt really talk to her Saturday or Sunday. She is still playing games. One day she misses me and the next she doesnt answer when I call (first time I called her in a really long time). Back to NC. This is going nowhere. Lets see if I can make it beyond the 2 week mark this time.

 

Ill keep ya posted.

[gallop30]

i promise you wont make it past the 1 week mark. i just hope you will

[SA2000]

Gallop you know me too well. I'm feeling pretty good tho. I can honestly feel myself pulling through. For real this time. My confidence is creeping back and I can feel people taking notice. The old SA is on the verge of being back!

[Calblee]

hey SA,

 

we will check in on you in 1 week time.

 

you owe everyone a round of drinks if you can't make it past 1 week of NC again! come on, i am already on my longest NC of 12 days!

 

it only gets easier.

[SA2000]

I made it to 14 once. I was so proud. Alright I'll owe everyone a round. Can I respond to texts?

[hermano]

I made it to 14 once. I was so proud. Alright I'll owe everyone a round. Can I respond to texts?

 

Generally speaking, would you say that sending someone a text is contacting them? ;]

[SA2000]

Oh I won't text her. But if/when she texts me can I respond?

 

Honestly it doesn't matter. It's time to move on. I realize that now.

 

I just saw a picture of my previous ex and I from 2003. I look almost exactly the same. She looked beautiful. I broke up with her and started dating my current ex about 3-4 months later. Ah to go back to that time. It's funny how I appreciate my previous ex so much more now then I did then. I thought she was too clingy and just over all negative. She was really over protective but I realize now that it was because she really cared. I broke her heart.

 

She's currently dating a guy that I see at the gym almost every day. I'm happy she found someone like him. He seems like a great guy. What I wouldn't do now to meet someone like her now. She was so well put together. I was just way too young to appreciate it. It's funny how we would be such a great couple now that I am older and more mature.

 

After seeing this picture it brought back an old familiar smile. While I am torn up over my current situation I also realize that there are lots of beautiful interesting women out there. That picture made me really happy for some reason.

[gallop30]

you owe us a round of drinks by just asking if you could respond to texts,and another round when you'll break the 1 week. and another one so we'll get drunk

 

ole ole

[Live-N-Learn]

I made it 10 weeks early last year so you all owe me a round of drinks! lol Anyways, I am NC for life this time. its been 12 days. It ain't easy but it must be done.

[SA2000]

UH OH....

 

Ran into a very attractive girl I knew through a friend about 15 years ago. She initiated convo and is getting friendly. She lives near me and works near me. That trademark SA smirk is back!

 

So here is how the story goes. I end up liking this girl. A month later the ex is banging down my door and it's a month too late.

 

I'm not gonna lie though this girl is hot.

[SA2000]

Just ran into a girl I thought was hot in highschool at the grocery store. She mailed and said hi. I was with my Mom so I just said hi back. I'm turning into the Kid. Haha.

 

My Mom was like the secret to getting an ex back is to go out on a date with a girl with bigger boobs. I was cracking up. I told her I like ladies with personality. She just laughed. Obviously that's where I get my good attitude and sense of humor from.

[pillowtalk]

Just ran into a girl I thought was hot in highschool at the grocery store. She mailed and said hi. I was with my Mom so I just said hi back. I'm turning into the Kid. Haha.

 

My Mom was like the secret to getting an ex back is to go out on a date with a girl with bigger boobs. I was cracking up. I told her I like ladies with personality. She just laughed. Obviously that's where I get my good attitude and sense of humor from.

 

You're mom sounds so cute.

[SA2000]

That should have said smiled.

 

Anyways, yeah my Mom is as cool as the breeze. She's pretty funny. I went to help her carry her groceries She was in the grocery store talking about me being single. I was cracking up. She really likes my ex but of course she just wants me to be happy. She keeps saying "Go out and have some fun. You won't be single for long". Is my Mom telling me to be a manwhore? Haha.

[gallop30]

guys can't be * * * * * * ,the only thing we can be is awesome

[Calblee]

guys can't be * * * * * * ,the only thing we can be is awesome

 

 

indeed.

 

SA, i show you what awesome looks like in a couple of month. don't fall in love with me then. lol

[thekid55]

Just ran into a girl I thought was hot in highschool at the grocery store. She mailed and said hi. I was with my Mom so I just said hi back. I'm turning into the Kid. Haha.

 

My Mom was like the secret to getting an ex back is to go out on a date with a girl with bigger boobs. I was cracking up. I told her I like ladies with personality. She just laughed. Obviously that's where I get my good attitude and sense of humor from.

 

Hahahahahahaha. I love it. Play on playa

 

And that's crazy that your Mom said that about dating a girl with a bigger chest!

 

My Mom said this to me before I went out 'cougar hunting' on New Year's Eve

 

'Thekid55, it's time for you to start being a playa'

'A playa, Mom?'

'That's right, A playa. Go have fun!'

 

-Coming from the woman who was a virgin until she got married. Gotta love life advice from Mom.

[SA2000]

Alright it's been a minute since I've been in the game so I have a dumb question that I'm debating in my head. I'd like to poll the audience. I met this girl who I know from 15 years ago. Back then she hung out with a girl I was friends with. So I saw her recently and she emailed me. Through out the conversation she was flirty with me saying she didnt know if I'd remember her and telling me about what shes been up to. I was responsive but wasnt reacting in a way that could be clearly read as interested in hanging out as more then friends. I told her to email me to stay in touch and she says she's glad she ran into me and that I should feel free to email or call her and gives me here number.

 

So now I'm trying to think of how I want to handle it. What would old Smooth SA have done? Here are the options:

1. Email her today saying "So, what are *****'s plans for the weekend?"

2. Call her and feel the situation out. Have a normal conversation and see where it leads to get a better gauge of her interest.

3. Wait until Monday and then text her asking what she's up to next weekend.

 

So in the past I would have waited as long as possible. Option 3 probably would have been my choice.

Option 2 sounds good but I hate talking on the phone. I'm guessing she is interested because she gave me her number.

I like option 1 but I also always like to come off as super cool which is characteristic of my demeanor. I like to move at a speed that's a little slower then what people are used to.

 

How should I approach this?

 

And I'm aware this is a question for the dating forum but it is a part of my healing.

[SA2000]

You guys take too long. I emailed her and asked her what her plans wer for the weekend. She said she is free tomorrow night. I asked if she wanted to get dinner and drinks.

 

This will be the first real "date" I have gone on since the lady and I split. I have had a few hook ups but those definitely are not dates. I went out with a girl I used to date a long time ago a few times but that doesnt count either. That was just practice and I dated her in the past.

 

Its not really a big deal. I have been on a million dates in the past. I'm sure it will go well. It just sucks because I feel as though I dont really want to be dating. I like this girl and all but I have my reservations. It just sucks when you feel as though you have that aspect of your life settled. Starting all over again is so lame.

 

Time to strap on my manners!

[thekid55]

I would have went with #1, but in a more direct way. I've never been one to ask a non-girlfriend what her plans are. Feels like I'm giving her the power in a way. I just tell her that I want to take her to X place, at Y time and if she can't make it then, let me know about another time. You got the date though, so it really doesn't matter. Every woman is different with her preferred source of communication though. Just go out and have fun with her, physically escalate over the date so you don't wind up in the dreaded friend zone, etc. Personally, I've always had a little bit of anxiety before going out with a girl for the first time. A little bit of liquid courage before always cures that.

 

The girl is definitely interested after giving you her digits and seeing you in the grocery store. Don't try to turn every new girl into a potential wife though. Just see how she is and if it's a fit for you.