gallop30 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 that works for guys too. we have way more options,i know that. that's why it's called "who's the MAN in the house?" and never "who's the WOMEN in the house?" Link to comment
22n32 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 that works for guys too. we have way more options,i know that. that's why it's called "who's the MAN in the house?" and never "who's the WOMEN in the house?" ROFLMAO.. I know us guys are the chaser and hunters we have options.. just linken it to more when in a rel, guys are at least me when im in a good rel, im comfy and i have no reason to leave.. weres girls see she found someone good and she will be like what more can i find.. and they know if they leave there will be guys waiting in line to be with them, so it makes it easier for them.. but till they dont find what there looking for is when they might relize what they had was great.. Link to comment
rosarioT Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 SA2000, I'm sorry u struggling so much right now, 2 weeks of NC is a great accomplishment and it will get better if you stick to it... The longest I've been NC is 2 weeks and I always give up cus I let my thoughts distract me, and then later I regret it so much because I know I'd be farther in my healing process if I had stayed strong... So as hard as it feels right now, hang int here, it'll get better! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks Rosario. I am never the one to break NC so that is an accomplishment in itself. She is always the one to reach out. I always respond. I don't know what sign or whatever that I am waiting for though. It seems like as time goes on I get more nostalgic and miss the fun we had. I just came accross a video of when we went to Jamaica. She is the only person I have ever brought to meet my family there. It seems like in the last week I have been having more and more reminders of her just randomly pop up. I don't want to be thinking about her all of the time but then Ill see something that is a really happy memory. Its like all of the bad gets washed away when I see that sort of stuff. Then I start to think of our last conversation. She said that she had been trying to tell me that she wanted to work things out but that I didn't seem interested. I told her that that wasn't the case but that she never backs anything she says up. We have had terrible communication over the last few months and it seems as though it is possible that we really want the same things. Maybe we just aren't being clear enough as to what our expectations are. Last time we tried though we were no where near ready and it failed horribly. We got back together and everything went right back to where it was. Obviously we were not happy. After a month she said the spark was gone and that she wanted to be single again. I said OK and moved back out. Only to move back in a few months later. Then she broke up with me around 4 months after that. That was it for me. I was sick of being broken up with because she was confused. I wanted her to take real time to see what she wanted. If it was me then she would know for sure. Now I feel as though we have taken real time. We both have dated other people. Maybe she is at home thinking about me and missing me the same way I am missing her. Maybe all she wants is to have her best friend back but every time she tries I say OK but then don't do anything to show that I am serious. She told me in December that she wanted to try again. I didn't take her seriously because within the next few days everything was the same. Maybe she is wondering why I never call her. But I don't want to go through all of that emotionally again. If she reaches out and says she is serious about trying again (which I doubt at this point) I will have to clearly spell out my expectations. Its not fair if neither of us know what the other person is expecting of them. Its as though I am waiting for her to do specific things and maybe she is waiting for me to do the same. I would hate for that to be the reason we end up going separate ways. I honestly believe we were supposed to go through this. That we are one of those couples that just belongs together and that if we were to get back together at some point we would realize that we need to appreciate what we have every day. Maybe I am wrong and this is all just wishful thinking. We both needed to change. I am making those changes in my life. I have no idea how she feels. Time will tell. Ah. I love writing here. It totally helps me clear my head. I feel way better now. I think I am trying to force everything. I am trying to force myself to move on. I am trying to force myself to be over my ex. I am trying to force myself to date. I am trying to force myself to go out with my buddies. Usually when I just let go and let things be what they are life works out a whole lot better. When I force it things are usually not the way I would like them to be. I need to get back to just being me and letting life go the way its supposed to go. Its like the scene in fight club where Tyler is driving and just lets the wheel go. Thats how I feel I need to be mentally. Enjoy life as it is. Not how it was. Stop trying so damn hard. Thats when things work out really well for me. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 accept it's over and don't force anything else,very simple Link to comment
Calblee Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 SA2000, i am back. you deserve someone better and there is someone better out that. until you get your head straight, you are never going to meet that someone that will be great for you. it is hard but it gets easier and it makes you a better man. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Thanks Calblee. I was having a rough weekend with NC really starting to take hold but I think I'll be alright. Just gotta stay in the gym and focus on other things. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 bro,i really understand,but you have to start accepting that she's gone,don't force yourself to believe otherwise ,just let it go SA,let it go. you're holding onto a memory,and that's not healthy it'll get better once the 1 month is passed Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 I hear you. Not sure why but I had a rough weekend. I am moving on though. I know what I need in life and how to proceed. Although I go through these low points I am moving forward. Soon I will be over this all and feeling a lot better. It just takes some time. Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I can tell how this feells.....especially when the ex is really a sweet talking kind.Its hard but we got to move on Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 There's always going to be setbacks. It would be nice if it was perfectly linear. You're doing well man, accept these setbacks for what they are and get past them. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 I'm trying to focus on other things but it seems like my mind always drifts back. I think more about how things were as aposed to how they are or how they would be. Then I start to think about the last year and how things would be if we were to get back together. Yeah. Would NOT work out. The last few times I've seen her she at one point or another would just start crying. I think this is her realizing that she ruined all that we had going for so long. Our problems were not that bad. Honestly we had a ton in common, beaver really fought, and were only in a rut because we needed a vacation. Man. She really * * * * ed up. That was unnecessary. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 she really f..d up ,but she's still the one for you? vacation or not,that's only your point of view, who knows how she looks at things(you know women and their weird minds) SA bro,why can't you get yourself together man? you're 30 years old but act worse than a teenage girl sometimes. i feel so bad when i see people going through this kind of pain. i cried lot of times(me macho man etc) ,even if i was the dumper,it hurts man,it really does,and i understand your struggles. sometimes it's things like this that make us appreciate and cherish future ones. it's much easier keeping something whole than try to fix broken things. you f..d up,she f..d up,that's it,no more. i had the same situation,lots of things could have been done better,but that's why it's called live and learn. i had to let her go,too much damage was done from both parts,and fixing them was just not worth the energy anymore. too much is too much sometimes,we cant just reset and start again like a computer,were not robots,and that's what makes us special. i hope she wont come knocking at your door and end up like Kid. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 She's already come knocking a few times. I usually just brush it off. Shell call or text for a few days and then it'll be back to not speaking. We've been broken up for 6 months and at just over 2 weeks we are at the longest NC point. As far as my attitude or actions you have to understand that what I post here is in relation to what I'm thinking at the time. It in no way reflects my outward actions in life. In real life I avoid places where she might go and don't mention her very often. I ask people not to tell me about her and live as though I'm completely content. I may post here that I'm having a hard time but if you knew me you'd never know what was going on in my head. I'm just as chill as always. I think I'm having more difficulty this time around is because it just seems more real. It seems like we are saying goodbye and I don't know her anymore. Also it feels as though I am darting to move on which I am trying to fight for some reason or another. I will always miss the person she was when I met her before she compromised all that I was so attracted to but now when I think of being with her again I only think of how ot would fail. How I am so much better off finding someone new and starting fresh. I still have a little more work to do on myself but I am heading in the right direction. I can see the light ahead. Even if I stumble along the way. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Just stay the course SA. We are in this together. Keep writing. I know it makes you feel better. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 it's all good SA,i understand that you're not that down,i exaggerated a lil bit. apologies Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 Oh I'm feeling better already. I don't know where these little setbacks come from but it seems like once they pass I feel great again. The less I stress a situation the better it gets. I've been putting too much pressure on my love life. I just have to let it be whatever it is. It's always figured itself out. When I try too hard at anything it never goes the way I want. When I relax it always works out better then I expected. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 I think it's time for an ENA break. Catch you fools in a week. Link to comment
Calblee Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 good luck bro. if it makes you feel any better, i know i will take a long time to get over my ex (similar duration and situation as yrs) but i know i will be a better person at the end of it all. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 I think I am going to go back to being a playboy for a few years. Maybe 2 or 3. I have like 4 girls that are interested in me that I am not in love with but could be fun to hang with from time to time. Nothing serious. The whole relationship thing didnt really work for me. I would like to have a family at some point or whatever but probably wont be ready for a while. Might as well have some fun in the meanwhile right? Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 OK back on ENA break. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 bro,don't go on any breaks. just post another thread "SA's playboy years!" easy Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 At a bar. Exs bff walks in. I'm with ANOTHER blondey. Second time that's happened in a week. Score. Link to comment
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