Iam disappointed that I'm not over it yet.

[thekid55]

Definitely a veteran move by telling new girl that you were asleep. I like it. Gotta let the tension keep building, plus she won't appreciate it if you just always give into her.

[22n32]

The girl I went on a date with on Friday texted me at 1 am to ask if I wanted to come over. I didn't respond. I'll tell her I was asleep already. It's hard when you are used to having someone there, then not having someone there, to not move too quickly with someone else. I don't want that to happen though as I don't want this new girl to have unrealistic expectations. I don't know where I want that to go yet.

 

I'm also surprised that my ex hasn't popped up on my radar. Things must be getting serious between her and the new guy. One more day until I hit a week of NC.

 

 

How many dates have u guys been on? And she is calling u at 1 am for botty call.. were thats fun and exciting I would question her if I didn't already have a sexual rel set up with her..

[SA2000]

We went on one date that ended with me crashing at her place. I didn't sleep with her but could have. I'm known by my buddy as the guy who could sleep with hotties but doesn't right away. They tease me for it but whatever. I thinkn ts kind of funny.

 

I replied the next day but haven't heard from her. I'll give it a few days and hit her up. She's not the type to have difficulty finding dudes but I can tell she's interested.

[SA2000]

My weight is up to 174.5 now. 15.5 lbs to go. I need to start eating more. For some reason I can never seem to take in enough calories. I eat pretty well for the most part but don't eat enough meals.

 

The new lady texted and emailed while I was at the gym. She's hella interested which unfortunately has an inverse effect on me. Now I'm just kind of like whatever. I keep comparing her to the ex in my mind. I was with the ex for 5 years and grew a lot with her so no one will compare. We are so similar it's ridiculous. It's going to be hard to get past the fact that the one person who is clearly right for me isn't coming back but I'll deal.

 

I'm starting to feel as though I would just rather be alone until I get my life exactly where I want it. I'll continue to date but I should set proper expectations.

[22n32]

i went down 5lb this week to 215 it sucks i need to be at 230 by summer.. im also 6,4 and lean.. so hard to gain good weight

 

ex is making me lose weight so fast.. hate it..

[SA2000]

I was there 22. Immediately dropped 15 lbs like it was nothing. I saw my exs Mom in a bar with her BF (she LOVES me) and she gave me a hug. She was like "Whoa, you are getting too skinny!" That's when I knew I had to get in gear. I pressed my one time max today so I know I can get back on track full time.

 

I would just keep going to the gym. Lift heavier then you normally do or consult with Hulk in Calblee's excersize thread if you need some good tips. I was starting to get a little out if shape towards the end if my relationship so it's a welcome change. I'm back to where I like working out again.

 

Now I just need to get back in the swing of things datingwise. It still feels wrong. Plus my ex is a really tough act to follow. But I gotta keep it movin!

[SA2000]

Ok I think I might need to stay away from this new lady. We went on one date 4 days ago. We have texted here and there over the last few days. Today I got a text that concerned me. She said "Hi. How's your day going?"

 

Whoa whoa whoa. I think I see where this is headed. Then we discuss possibly snowboarding next Monday. She says she wants to see me before then. Like Thursday. It's Tuesday. Thus is not good. I like people liking me and all but I've seen this type of behavior before. If I don't post for 10 days call the authorities.

 

And Gallop if were still counting I'm on day 9!

[22n32]

Ok I think I might need to stay away from this new lady. We went on one date 4 days ago. We have texted here and there over the last few days. Today I got a text that concerned me. She said "Hi. How's your day going?"

 

Whoa whoa whoa. I think I see where this is headed. Then we discuss possibly snowboarding next Monday. She says she wants to see me before then. Like Thursday. It's Tuesday. Thus is not good. I like people liking me and all but I've seen this type of behavior before. If I don't post for 10 days call the authorities.

 

And Gallop if were still counting I'm on day 9!

 

 

When I saw ur post about calling u at 1am to come over. I saw red flags.. doesn't sound very classy or mature what ever u wanna call it.. I'm sure she is stuck in the young mindset of having fun playing and upgrading till time runs out..

[SA2000]

Shes 29 and I don't think it's that. I think she's the super clingy type. I hope I'm wrong.

[22n32]

Even worse if she is that age and doing that.good luck.

[blovage]

Hey if you don't mind my saying so, Catfeeder hit it right on the nail head my friend. Space is for a reason. That being to grieve and the constant contact just kills any chance of that ever happening. That 6 month period that you said you went through was totally in vain because as you said you were both in constant contact the whole time. You may consider moving away and losing the contact number if you truly would like to get over her.

[gallop30]

just take it easy SA,where's the rush coming from?

 

women won't disappear ,they're still here tomorrow ,and the day after and so on...

 

just feels like you want to be in a "serious" relationship before your ex does.

 

and go meet that girl,who cares if she's clingy,you won't marry her. have some fun,and leave the serious stuff alone ,at least until you get your head straight.

 

day 9? nice.

[SA2000]

Oh there is no rush. Thts all coming from the opposite side. I'm feeling a little pressure all ready. I'll male sure I slow it down though. I am definitely not in a hurry to get into anything serious. As far as the ex is concerned, I haven't really stressed about her lately. This has honestly been the easiest 9 days of NC that I've had.

 

But I'll listen to you guys and put the breaks on a little.

[gallop30]

SA,do what feels good for you bro,if it's a relationship you're looking for or just to have some fun.

you cannot f...k it up no matter what the outcome will be,because now you don't care as much anymore.

 

we have to be selfish sometimes,and i felt that through my long term re,this was kinda taken away from me.

be selfish and put yourself first,your happiness is what counts,it's your life and the other persons problem isn't yours anymore.

[SA2000]

I agree with you Gallop but at the same time I don't want to lead this other girl on. I want to hang out and have fun with her but I'm not anywhere near ready to date seriously. If we get to a point where she's getting too serious I'll let her know.

 

But this is my time to be happy now. I'll take all the time I need.

[SA2000]

I just got a text from my ex's best male friend. He asked what I am up to and if I would meet up with him later today. I am assuming he wants to buy some T shirts (I run a small T shirt company) or talk to me about one of the 100 mutual friends that we have. Any time someone that is closer to her then to me contacts me though I am always a little bit skeptical.

[hulk7280]

I just got a text from my ex's best male friend. He asked what I am up to and if I would meet up with him later today. I am assuming he wants to buy some T shirts (I run a small T shirt company) or talk to me about one of the 100 mutual friends that we have. Any time someone that is closer to her then to me contacts me though I am always a little bit skeptical.

 

do you make those funny quates on t-shirts??

[SA2000]

Haha. No. All original designs.

[MakeItCount]

I just got a text from my ex's best male friend. He asked what I am up to and if I would meet up with him later today. I am assuming he wants to buy some T shirts (I run a small T shirt company) or talk to me about one of the 100 mutual friends that we have. Any time someone that is closer to her then to me contacts me though I am always a little bit skeptical.

 

You going to meet up with him? I think it would be interesting to see if he has anything to say.

[gallop30]

if he brings up the ex,you should say something like "good you reminded me of her,haven't talked for some time,hope she's doing fine. maybe i'll call her tomorrow after work, see what she's up to".

[SA2000]

I am almost positive that it has nothing to do with my ex. I dont think she confides in him like that now that I think about it. I know they are close or whatever but I dont think its really like that. He asked me about some T shirts a while back so Im sure its about that.

 

I think I need to go out on some more dates. I dont think dating one person right now is a good idea. I am starting to really be submerged in the acceptance stage. Now its time to get back on my horse and see whats out there these days. Dating a few different people will ensure I dont settle because I am lonely or bored or whatever. I want to get to a better place in life before I consider settling down again. I am probably about 8-12 months away from that point.

 

Once I get to the point where I am really comfortable I will reevaluate my situation and decide how I want to proceed. I dont think my head is completely where it needs to be right now but that will never stop me from dating. I have been out with maybe 4-5 ladies post ex but they all seemed to figure out how to get rid of me in a hurry. I had the "So are we going to date seriously?" conversation 3 times in 2 months. Give a guy a little time to see if thats even an option! Sheesh!

[MakeItCount]

Your fault for being a catch. Hahaha

[SA2000]

Ok so I just got a text from the new lady about how she had a dream about me. So when people talk about giving people space, this is what they mean. If the ex said she dreamed about me, thats fine. We were together for a long time so that is normal. But this girl has only seen me once. We have plans to possibly hang out this weekend but now I am not so sure.

 

The NC count for the ex is up to 11 and I don't see that coming to an end anytime soon. I feel as though I dont really know her anymore. I wish I could find someone who looked and acted like my ex did when we met. She is so smart, beautiful, and motivated. I really miss her qualities. I mentioned reading a book before watching a movie and the new lady flat out said Uh.... Yeah, I dont read books. The last time I talked to the ex she was telling me about some books she was reading and how she wanted to lend them to me when she was done.

 

When I think about things long term and how much I have in common with another person I really start to miss the ex. I havent really been thinking about her too much because I am still upset that we ended up where we are but we were flat out perfect together. She had really grown over the years into someone I could grow old with. The excitement so to speak was somewhat missing towards the end and we both started to pull away but as I accept the outcome, I find myself disappointed with the possibilities. We would have been really great together.

 

The search must continue.

[ChrisC]

I hear you bro, I feel exactly how you described in your last paragraph when it comes to my ex. Together five years and we were so close to spending the rest of our lives together. I often think about, as you said, the possibilities if we had stayed together.

[SA2000]

I guess this is the point where if both people come to the same realization they live happily ever after. Last time we tried to get back together we never got to this point. If we dont end up working through things I'll be cool with it. I am in a much better place alone now. I miss her as a teammate in life but at the same time I can run the show solo which is a great place to be in.

 

Ah. Acceptance.