LanceVanceDance Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 no i dont actually..maybe im riduclous i cant change how i feel..im trying Go with what you feel is right for you, man. Don't let any majority influence you. You are YOU. "Eat * * * * . A billion flies can't be wrong." Link to comment
ketaro Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Men see things differently then women do. I am not surprised that most of you young ladies don't see any problem with it. As to what boundaries it violates only the OP knows and i am pretty sure he feels insulted because of it. Link to comment
orchidrose Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Go with what you feel is right for you, man. Don't let any majority influence you. You are YOU. "Eat * * * * . A billion flies can't be wrong." If he feels that way, that's fine, but he needs to discuss that with his girlfriend and she can make a decision on if she feels comfortable with it, too. Personally I'd be out the door as soon as a guy objected to me going to a sex toy party or store without him. Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 If he feels that way, that's fine, but he needs to discuss that with his girlfriend and she can make a decision on if she feels comfortable with it, too. Personally I'd be out the door as soon as a guy objected to me going to a sex toy party or store without him. Seriously. It reeks of insecurity and control. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Go with what you feel is right for you, man. Don't let any majority influence you. You are YOU. "Eat * * * * . A billion flies can't be wrong." He has a right to feel the way he does but in turn his GF has a right to not want to be with a man who isn't comfortable with it. My ex was that way and it put me off majorly. I refuse to be with a guy who isn't comfortable with it. Link to comment
rachinohio Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 no i dont actually..maybe im riduclous i cant change how i feel..im trying This statement says a lot. Maybe if you did some research on what actually happens at the parties you may be a little more comfortable. I think we fear things that we know nothing about. Are you secure in your relationship? Are you worried she will go and do something with or in front of another female? What exactly makes you feel the way that you do? You may want to discuss this further here, before you share your feelings with her, because this would send a HUGE red flag up for most women who think they are in secure, loving and TRUSTING relationships. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 He has a right to feel the way he does but in turn his GF has a right to not want to be with a man who isn't comfortable with it. Agreed 100%. See it's the only point I'm trying to make; to each his own, but don't go telling him he is WRONG for not wanting his girlfriend to do that. Matter of tastes and opinions. Link to comment
tinkerbellkj Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Men see things differently then women do. I am not surprised that most of you young ladies don't see any problem with it. As to what boundaries it violates only the OP knows and i am pretty sure he feels insulted because of it. That is a blanket statement. I don't think that "men" see things differently than "women" do. There ARE men who do not have a problem with it. My husband for one, he is EXTREMELY secure in himself and our marriage and I know for a fact that he does believe this topic crosses any "boundaries". So it is not fair for you to use blanket statements to include ALL men, when that is not the case. This an issue this OP has, not an issue that "men" as the entire species has. Link to comment
ketaro Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Agreed 100%. See it's the only point I'm trying to make; to each his own, but don't go telling him he is WRONG for not wanting his girlfriend to do that. Matter of tastes and opinions. Agree with you. Heck, they could be both wrong from many perspectives. Link to comment
ketaro Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 That is a blanket statement. I don't think that "men" see things differently than "women" do. There ARE men who do not have a problem with it. My husband for one, he is EXTREMELY secure in himself and our marriage and I know for a fact that he does believe this topic crosses any "boundaries". So it is not fair for you to use blanket statements to include ALL men, when that is not the case. This an issue this OP has, not an issue that "men" as the entire species has. lol there are many types of men out there Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Agreed 100%. See it's the only point I'm trying to make; to each his own, but don't go telling him he is WRONG for not wanting his girlfriend to do that. Matter of tastes and opinions. But to a degree there IS something wrong if he has a problem with it. Is that not what the world problem means? If a vibrator doesn't insecure him but a sex toy party does yes, there is something wrong that is causing the insecurity. Same reason I don't like strip clubs. I know why it doesn't and it's MY insecurity. Link to comment
DN Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 The reason I asked about her view on pornography is that I imagine the reason the OP is insulted about his girlfriend going to this party is the same reason that many women are insulted when their partner uses pornography. Most often when women complain about pornography they say it makes them feel inadequate or insecure to be compared to these women. It is fine to argue as to whether people have the right to masturbate, to masturbate to pornography or to masturbate using sex toys - but, whatever one's point of view at least try to understand why people feel as they do and be consistent because these feelings have the same foundation. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 But to a degree there IS something wrong if he has a problem with it. Is that not what the world problem means? If a vibrator doesn't insecure him but a sex toy party does yes, there is something wrong that is causing the insecurity. Same reason I don't like strip clubs. I know why it doesn't and it's MY insecurity. No there is nothing wrong with having a problem with it, whether you come to terms with that or not. Different people want and like different things, and have different opinions. Not everybody is compatible. You are incorrect (and others in this thread) in assuming that it's "insecurity". I do not like it because I find it unclassy. Please don't respond giving answers about why you disagree with it being unclassy - one's idea of class is always different. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 The reason I asked about her view on pornography is that I imagine the reason the OP is insulted about his girlfriend going to this party is the same reason that many women are isulted when their partner uses pornography. Most often when women complain about pornography use they say it make them feel inadequate or insecure to be compared to these women. It is fine to argue as to whether people have the right to masturbate, to masturbate to pornography or to masturbate using sex toys - but, whatever one's point of view at least try to understand why people feel as they do and be consistent because these feelings have the same foundation. They do have somewhat the same foundation. I bet you tho, if a woman was masturbating to a guy who was way more goodlooking/in shape than her SO, it would hurt him more than her using toys. Or if she was obsessed with an actor, watching every movie out there from him, Just saying. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 No there is nothing wrong with having a problem with it, whether you come to terms with that or not. Different people want and like different things, and have different opinions. Not everybody is compatible. You are incorrect (and others in this thread) in assuming that it's "insecurity". I do not like it because I find it unclassy. Please don't respond giving answers about why you disagree with it being unclassy - one's idea of class is always different. And if the OP finds it unclassy as well than he needs to find a girl that fits his version of 'classy'. It does not make his GF unclassy because she wants to do these things, merrily he needs to find someone with his same views on it. Link to comment
Psychgirl24 Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 I'm actually really surprised with the guys on here who have an issue with these parties. I think its a lot of ignorance on their part, which isn't a bad thing...they just don't have all the information. I've been to a couple of these parties and have never seen nor heard of any girls being allowed to try out the products. You can't do that at a sex store so why would you do it when the sex store came to someone's house? It was basically a fun, girls get together...we ate, laughed, then went home. I'm in a long term relationship and my boyfriend didn't mind me going at all. It made things a lot more fun. I understand having issues with it but it is 2010...women should be allowed to take control of their own needs if/when they feel like it. If it makes you that uncomfortable, maybe you have some unresolved issues with yourself and thats what you should focus on instead of trying to control what your girlfriend does. Link to comment
Blsmith007 Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Sounds to me like the OP and some other men were really unclear of what truly goes on at these parties, and had very bad views of it initially due to not understanding what the party is actually about. I mean someone actually thought they used the actually toys there! Which is very unclean! But again just misinformed. Link to comment
rachinohio Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 No there is nothing wrong with having a problem with it, whether you come to terms with that or not. Different people want and like different things, and have different opinions. Not everybody is compatible. You are incorrect (and others in this thread) in assuming that it's "insecurity". I do not like it because I find it unclassy. Please don't respond giving answers about why you disagree with it being unclassy - one's idea of class is always different. What is so unclassy about a woman who is secure in her sexuality? Going to a friends house, looking at, holding in their hand a toy, and then either ordering or going home? Maybe sharing a few laughs with friends and just enjoying herself in a NON sexual manor? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Sounds to me like the OP and some other men were really unclear of what truly goes on at these parties, and had very bad views of it initially due to not understanding what the party is actually about. I mean someone actually thought they used the actually toys there! Which is very unclean! But again just misinformed. I watched this porn once where it was a brothel and they had a sex toy party. That was the ONLY time I ever saw girls use the toys on themselves and you know that was just for the flipping cameras. Link to comment
DN Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 They do have somewhat the same foundation. I bet you tho, if a woman was masturbating to a guy who was way more goodlooking/in shape than her SO, it would hurt him more than her using toys. Or if she was obsessed with an actor, watching every movie out there from him, Just saying.What these things have in common is that people have their own insecurities and to judge one but not the other is inconsistent and unfair. It doesn't matter what other people think - but at least be consistent. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 What is so unclassy about a woman who is secure in her sexuality? Going to a friends house, looking at, holding in their hand a toy, and then either ordering or going home? Maybe sharing a few laughs with friends and just enjoying herself in a NON sexual manor? ................................................. Please don't respond giving answers about why you disagree with it being unclassy - one's idea of class is always different. Link to comment
Blsmith007 Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 I have actually encouraged an ex to attend some of these parties. To me, it just helps a relationship's sex life and experience by opening opinions of different toys or lotions or whatever. And I have always benefited from these parties too! Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 ................................................. I think there is a differecen in differing classy from unclassy and someone wanting to know WHY someone finds it unclassy. Link to comment
orchidrose Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 I think there is a differecen in differing classy from unclassy and someone wanting to know WHY someone finds it unclassy. Yeah, I'd be curious to hear why you think it's unclassy, as well. Link to comment
rachinohio Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 I think there is a differecen in differing classy from unclassy and someone wanting to know WHY someone finds it unclassy. My thought exactly. I have yet seen a post explaining what is so horrible or "unclassy" about a party other then "yes they use the toys on themselves" which couldn't be further from the truth. I am simply trying to figure out why, in your mind is it so unclassy? What is it about the idea of your SO being around a bunch of her female friends, fully clothed and having a good time? I wasn't looking for an argument, just your feelings on this. Link to comment
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