Bullied kids wear targets

[kiwinezzie]

They say its how the victim carries themselves !Low self esteem this and that .I can go out in " " attire and have the most uninterested in cheap guys , i know im the ------,smart ,self respecting demeanor but the only thing that matters is what my clothes say . what i say doesn't matter ,my opinions or demeanor dont matter. its about how the clothes make me different and what some ---------wants to interpret my attire as . This is the easiest example to me to make my point of it doesnt mater how you carry yourself a bad person is always going to find an excuse.

Ive even heard kids say they've tried to dress like their abuser an it only made things worse. i know i got made fun of for trying to fit in . There's nothing you can do to not be a target except kick their ass.

I applaud that "bully dad" that got on that school bus and confronted those kids about his daughter .the only way to show someone the effects of their action when they obviously dont care is to stand up and show them they are outnumbered.

Its Anti bullying month.you should do your share.

[LightbulbSun]

I was bullied, because I listened to unconventional music, wasn't into sports, read a lot, and was 'intelligent.'

 

I'd like to know what kind of society praises dumb behavior, but the smart kids are targeted? Honestly, it's completely *#&*# up.

[thejigsup]

I played in the band, was chubby, liked to read, and was smart. The kiss of death. At 16, I lost the weight, found a sport I excelled in, and was popular. I was still smart, still played music and still read all the time. It isn't brains that is the kiss of death, it's not being athletic. I still love sports, so I do okay.

[Ebrithil]

The people that bully are trying to move the attention away from themselves, they are themselves unconfident or self conscious about something, but they think that if they make someone else the target the attention isnt going to be on them, and all of their 'friends' whom also dont want people to notice their short comings will join in so as not to draw attention to where they fall short. The life of the popular kid is always looking over their sholder to make sure that everyone is still following them and havent actualy realised they arent worth bothering with and left them alone.

Alianation is all to comon even in the university years if you dont associate with the right people, there will always be insicurity and there will always be somone projecting on others to camouflage themselves.

[Fudgie]

I was bullied since I was 6 and up. Never by boys though, only girls. It sucked.

 

I think it was because I was quiet, kept to myself, didn't play games with the other kids because I thought it was "boring", and I was also really smart. I never shoved any of my positive attributes in anyone's face so I didn't understand why I was picked on. I just wanted to be left alone.

 

I had stuff stolen, stuff vandalized, my dress ripped/pulled up, and in middle school, sexually harassed by, again, girls. Once I was drawing alone by myself and this b* of a girl ripped it out of my hands and tore it to pieces.

 

I NEVER wore a "target". Most of the time, I blended into the background, just like I wanted to. No, the bullies sought me out because they were worthless people who needed to pick on others to feel better about themselves.

 

I ended up being accepted to a very exclusive private school. I gave all my bullies a big "F U" and told them off before I left. I told them I thought they were worthless, mean b* and that they were all going to end up with STDs and drop out and be failures because they never worked at anything, just made people miserable. I then left that place forever and they didn't have a response for me.

 

As I found out later, many of them aren't doing anything good with their lives. Just wasting their days, no job, early pregnancy, bad relationships. Their fault really, all I can say is that what goes around comes around, no pity here. One of my worst bullies got brain cancer and survived, ending up mentally retarded in a wheelchair. That was the only person I actually felt pity for because no one deserves that pain.

 

I was never bullied at private school.

 

Bullying has changed me forever. I don't associate with my peers socially, I only work with them. There's a disconnect in me, I don't allow myself to get close. I also tend not to date those my age because I don't want to deal with competition with female peers. If I could, I wouldn't associate with any of them. A part of me still hates them and is angry at them for hurting me.

 

My only advice to those who are bullied is to GET HELP. Don't let yourself end up like me, bitter and unable to associate with peers. Luckily, I have an amazing boyfriend, but what about when he's gone? I will have no one.

[Ebrithil]

play your own game and let other people play theirs, you have an amazing boyfriend that shoes that people do care for you, it doesnt matter if their is compotition or people try to get between you because at the end of it being honest and loyle to each other means a lot more than the little bitc*ey comments other people make.

[kiwinezzie]

wow, you just made me beileve in karma again. i always thought horrible people had the best lives. they are ceos and rich and happy bosses that still make people miserable

[Fudgie]

Well, there's no competition for my boyfriend since he's in his 50s and I know most of my peers won't like that. He's a great guy though and we love each other very much. We are long-term and would like to stay that way. I couldn't imagine not having him and trying to find love in my own age group because honestly, I am SO out of the loop socially. I never know what people are talking about or anything.

 

I'm doing better now. I'm doing really well at college, but relatively few friends and I don't go out on the weekends. I'm not that lonely now but I wonder if I will be in 10-20 years or so, or if my boyfriend was gone or something. He's my 2nd best friend, my 1st being my father, of course.

 

I was a very bright, happy, pleasant little girl. I had (and still do) a lot to offer people, especially in terms of friendship. I am very loyal and will jump through a fire if someone I loved needed me. But when your hand gets bitten so many times in the past, then you likely stop extending it, forever. I've been to a lot of therapy over the years and it's just this real mental block. Even the friends that I DO have, I just can't get close to. There are only 2 girls I have gotten REALLY close to but they moved away.

 

I am living proof that bullying can affect you for LIFE and it's important to stop it right when it starts. This is an emotional scar that I won't get over. I don't want ANYONE to go through what I did.

[Fudgie]

wow, you just made me beileve in karma again. i always thought horrible people had the best lives. they are ceos and rich and happy bosses that still make people miserable

 

Karma bites ya in the butt in different ways. They just got it earlier in life.

 

and yes, I really do believe in Karma, even when I can't see the "Results".

 

Those CEOs? Yeah, they may have money, but they will have terrible relationships and bad people skill in that they make people feel TERRIBLE because that's all they know. I bet they will die alone, or they will die without anyone truly loving them, only their money. Or maybe they will feel pain in other ways.

 

You reap what you sow.

[HeartGoesOn]

A bully is a coward in disguise.

[LostLeo42]

My son has been getting teased in his new school. I think there is a difference between teased and bullied. He is really cute, funny, smart, athletic. He wears glasses - this is the only thing I can think of that makes him different. So it could be anything that triggers it really. I think it is how the kid and the school/parents handle it as to whether it escalates or stops.

[Ebrithil]

Its funny you mentioning about the CEO's as one of my managers is like that and everybody that works there pritty much hates him.

[Blue Spiral]

I should've been a prime bullying target, but I was left alone...I think people thought I was crazy.

 

I'm not, though. Promise.

[kiwinezzie]

i think the rejection part is the worst about bullying. having niceness that no one wants for no reason. I still dont have that standard group of friends most people seem to have. i cant watch people when they gang up on others . when they are wrong i speak up and thats a real friendship blocker. most people just go along with it. i relate to a lot of people and am really not that different in my personality but i dont fit in anywhere .in every group im the odd one out.

[capilot]

Wow, Fudgie, I could have written half of this myself. I'm quite a bit older than you, and it still scars me.

 

But here's the good part: it keeps getting better. I'm successful at my career, and have a great house. They're all pumping gas for a living or in prison. My life keeps getting better and theirs is a long slide into poverty and misery. Maybe I shouldn't get satisfaction from that, but I do.

[Fudgie]

Wow capilot, I'm sad to hear you've been through the same thing, but glad to hear that you've been successful. I hope to be too. That's what I am working towards, just being happy but also being okay money-wise so I don't have to stress.

 

I feel a little bad thinking I get a little satisfaction from seeing my really bad bullies fail at life. I was genuinely sad about the kid with brain cancer though, I mean...wow, crap. But everyone else? They did it to themselves. They failed to use birth control/protection methods, they chose to drop out of school, they chose these cruddy relationships...now they have to deal with it. I've occasionally run into one at the grocery store and they look MISERABLE, aged, and worn, and I know from other friends that they are just sitting at home, doing nothing, sometimes with a kid. I don't have any sympathy for them. I am trying to be as indifferent as possible (because I know sympathy is out of the question) but gosh, I can't help but I feel a little inner smile. I think "You scarred me for life. Now look at you. This is how the universe got back at you. I didn't even lift a finger."

 

It really does still scar everyone, I think. Maybe it will get better as I get older? I don't know.

 

My boyfriend told me about HIS schoolyard bullies. They were very violent towards him as well as emotionally abusive. He CRIED telling me, and those events happened to him over 40 years ago. *shakes head* It is so, so sad.

 

I get angry at people who don't want to do anything about bullying and say that it was just a "part of school". No, it really shouldn't be. Okay, maybe some kids playfully teasing each other or joking is ok, but not the bullying that happens, the stuff that really scars. I am just sad that kids have to freaking KILL themselves over bullying for ANYONE to do ANYTHING about it. Things should have been done a lot sooner. This is a very widespread but downplayed problem.

[greywolf]

I was a bully in elementary school. I had no confidence and I was pretty insecure, but I got a lot of attention from boys because I was smart and pretty. These were things I couldn't deal with, so I reacted with violence. I had also never been taught at home that violence wasn't the solution to problems. Actually now that I think about it, my parents tried to teach me that several times, but it never really sunk in until I was a teenager, probably because my dad taught me that with words, and not his actions.

 

I've never been bullied myself, but I was often cut off from people. Girls mostly tried their best not to talk to me and avoid me. I figure I must have been really obnoxious back then.