Starting to heal

[SA2000]

Yeah it feels like a repeat of the last time we went through this. Maybe we just aren't as compatible as she thinks. I'll take some time to evaluate and see if she's changed at all. If she's still the same then I'll bounce for sure.

[SA2000]

Funny I'm right where I wanted to be again and now I'm reconsidering. I guess this is that whole scarcity thing.

[MakeItCount]

Haha yeah man, big ego thing too. That's why it's wise to take your time. When she pursues you, that's when you know for sure if this is what you want.

[gallop30]

i want a girl who loves me when i'm ME ,when i'm strong to praise me,when i'm down to pick me up ,when i'm sad or cry not to think that i'm less of a man,f...k it,who wants somebody that i have to put walls up to protect myself all the time.

 

once the walls go down to be in risk of being hurt.i realized that it's not about putting walls up ,down or whatever,it's about how we handle the pain,it's what matters.

 

i have a girlfriend now and broke up with another one of 6 years 3 months ago. i'm not over her,but i don't want her back either.

 

she's like your girl SA,she hooked up after i broke it off with some other dude,and once another mans penis is in my ex girl,that's it,no more ,thank you and bye bye. it's like marking territory,we don't accept another "loser" to piss on our land. that's it

i don't care what i told you or others tell you. i know i'm right and that's it.

 

you do what feels right for you,even if i advised you to "macho" down a tone and warm up to her,now i changed my mind after she called you and talked about rebound guy. SHE TOLD HIM THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU. WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HER "HOW DO YOU KNOW I STILL WANT YOU BACK?"

[gallop30]

when she told you about the rebound,this is how it sounded to me"you f...d me enough,i didn't like it,now i want to go back to SA so he can f...k me ,because i think that it's better". i don't mean by f...g necessarily the physical act .

 

whatever. who needs to grow up still?

[SA2000]

I'm not concerned with whatbshe did while we weren't together. I can't say that I didn't do those same things so that doesn't concern me. What does concern me is that this is almost to the day we started talking about getting back together last year. What makes this different? Why should I walk back into that and how is the outcome going to be different?

[thekid55]

It all comes down to trust and reliability.

 

Do you trust her enough to put yourself back out there on the line?

 

That answer will tell you all of you need to know because you can't half-a.ss a relationship

[SA2000]

I agree with you Kid. I think it's ok to be cautious at first though. I'll feel her out for a few weeks and see what's changed. If it's the same ol sh1t then I'll keep it moving. I feel as though I am in a different place now. I miss what we had or whatever but I feel like being alone is so much easier. I can do as I please and never have to think about what someone else is doing. But I guess for reconciliation to work you almost have to be at a point where you could walk away easily. Similar to how you can in a new relationship.

 

I'm hesitant as hell to try to patch things up with her but we would ultimately make some damn fine looking kids!

[thekid55]

The kids don't matter at all if you don't have a solid relationship to provide an example for them.

[SA2000]

Oh I agree with that. I'm just joking around.

[thekid55]

I know. We are playing ex-girlfriend ping pong here.

[SA2000]

Well didn't hear from the ex today after her strange actions over the last week. I'm sick of this back and forth biz and mixed signals and such. I'm this close to changing all of my information and disapearing for good. This is all way too stressful.

[MakeItCount]

How ya doin out there SA?

[SA2000]

Strange things continue to happen. I'll update in a few days.

[SA2000]

Ok so here is what has happened over the last few days. I havent been on ENA as I felt as though it was making things more difficult and that I was starting to dwell a little too long. Ill pop in from time to time to check in when I can but I need a month or so break I think.

 

So here is what has happened in the last week. After my ex called crying on the 23rd she didnt call on the 24th. She then texted on the 25th and said Merry Christmas!!! and called me. She asked me why I didnt call her on the 24th. I told her that I dont like to call people and asked why she didnt call me. She said the phone works both ways. Later she asked if I wanted to meet her and her Mom and Moms BF out for a drink. It was my B day at midnight and was planning to go out so I said sure.

 

I met her out and took a few pictures with her on her phone. We hung out for a while but then her friends who I dont like showed up and she ended up leaving with them around 11:30. She texted me at midnight and said Happy Birthday!!!

 

The next day she called me in the morning and sang happy birthday over the phone. She is a terrible singer. I laughed and said thanks. We chatted breifly and she said she would call me later. She called later and we talked about nothing really. She called again the next day (yesterday) and said werent you supposed to call me? I said uh...no. She laughed and said Ok. Well what are you doing. I told her I was at the gym but hungry. She said she would make me dinner if I came over.

 

So after the gym I went over to her house and had dinner. Her sisters were excited to see me and her mom loves me. During dinner we talked about work. Apparently she might win some all expenses paid trip. She said she would take me along if I was lucky. After dinner we watched some TV then I left.

 

She called me on the way home and thanked me for coming by. We started talking about my gym and she said she was thinking about joining. She calle me today and said that she was going to join my gym and asked if I would work out with her sometimes. I told her I would if she could keep up.

 

I dont know where this is all leading. Im not changing anything until she can show me that things will be different. I will be friendly or whatever but I am not going to be back together with her until she shows that she is really commited. And even then I dont know if its worth my time after all of the stress that this has caused. Until I see otherwise its business as usual.

 

Ill check back from time to time and keep you guys posted.

[SA2000]

Ex texted today asking what I am doing for NYE and if I want to hang our with her. She called later and asked why I never call her. She then asked if I ever missed her and said she wishes we could hang out more. She asked again if I ever miss her. Again I said "Yeah, when I'm hungry." It seems like things are going well but we've been down this road before. We'll see what happens.

[thekid55]

Like we've always talked about...Let her lead, but keep your options open.

[MakeItCount]

"When I'm Hungry". Hahahahah, best line ever.

 

Agreed with kid, keep doing what you're doing. Let the holidays pass, see what happens. It's hard, but gotta keep strong.

[SA2000]

Eh. This is too much stress. We talk every night on the phone and then some nights I get no call and lame texts back. Something doesn't seem right. I don't want to deal with this constant elevated stress level anymore. It's more work then it's worth.

 

Maybe I'm stubborn and just want my way but screw it. That's what I want.

[Calblee]

Hi SA2000,

 

You were doing so well previously. Seems to me that ever since you met up with her, it has been a state of confusion for yourself.

 

Any chance that it would be a good idea to straighten out your thoughts with her?

 

I read a thread by Yonaz and there is a poster that laid all the cards on the tables and vice versa for the dumper on all the wrong things about the relationship and that they are working out all the issues in the months of reconcilation.

 

I feel that both your ex and yourself are just stringing along hoping to revert back to the same without anyone taking a firm and decisive action to call it as it is.

 

Not a heartfelt talk but a post heartfelt talk action plan is probably needed.

 

Hope i make some sense.

 

Take care bro!

[Carus]

She called later and asked why I never call her.

Haha...Oh Boy, dont get me started...!

 

You probably already saw this thread..>>

 

I agree quite a lot with those principles, especially when it comes to RS BU's....

 

Stay Strong Buddy*..You know we're all here behind you....

All The Best

K2* 8)

[SA2000]

Never read that one. Thanks.

 

I'm coming to realize that things are either going to move slowly or not at all and I need to continue to focus on myself. It is what it is. In times past I would have sent a text or called and gotten mad and said don't talk to me anymore. But I think I'll just continue on not doing anything.

[gallop30]

you know what feels best and what you need to do for yourself. we're here to listen and give you little advice.

in the end it's all you ,my friend.

 

Happy New Year!

[SA2000]

Unfortunately I dont know whats best. I am tired of this all. I am tired of waiting around for someone who cant commit to anything. When Im gone she misses me. When I am there she blows me off. I cant live life like this. 2011 is a new year and things need to change.

[SA2000]

The ex and I have been going through this business now for over a year. Yet even after all of this I rarely contact her. It is usually her doing the contacting. So what happens when I eventually meet someone new?

 

Thats the last thing I have to say in 2010.

 

See ya next year. Maybe.