Starting to heal

[The_Seeker]

In that case, you must be one good looking man. ;] No stress no stress.

[SA2000]

I think my ex may have started NC. I called her to apologize after my late night intoxicated text tirade. She didn't answer or call back. Maybe she is finally mad enough to leave me be for a while. Honestly it feels kind of good so far. I don't have to check my phone with a strange anticipation every time it lights up. I also don't have to go through the daily ups and downs and attempt to read her crazy mixed signals. It was all getting old really fast. I'll still probably be NIC but don't expect anything from her end until Christmas.

 

It seems as though I do better when I know she won't be popping up. Maybe I'm getting to the acceptance point or whatever but I felt pretty good all day today. I feel like I could meet someone new now and if I was honestly really attracted to them I could date them honestly. I'm feeling a lot better. Hopefully this elevated state of mind continues. It's rather relaxing to be able to let go. Life is so much less stressful when you're indifferent.

[SA2000]

I guess this thread is becoming my healing journal.

 

So here is where I am at today. I feel pretty darn good. I went to the gym last night and had a pretty solid workout and then went to what I refer to as my adoptive family's house. Basically my buddy and his wife and their 3 kids. At first I thought that his wife would get sick of me coming over all of the time but she actually gets mad when I DONT come over. She also complains to my buddy that I never eat dinner with the family. Funny. I love hanging out with the kids. Especially the 2 year old. The kid is nuts but so smart. Talk about an awesome support system. I have my single buddies I hang with on the weekend and my married buddies I hang out with during the week. I honestly think late 20s early 30s is an awesome age to be.

 

As far as the ex is concerned I feel like I am no longer waiting for her calls. I havent heard from her in a few days and honestly dont expect to. On top of that I am not overly concerned with hearing from her anymore. I am sure I will still have down days or what not but they are becoming less and less. In the morning I usually miss her the most but I barely remember what daily life was like with her.

 

Life is good and getting better.

[C_Unknown2005]

SA2000 Glad to see your thinking straight, I got on my road bike for a mile and got a blast of 25 degree weather on my hands and face and just went straight home lol.

 

As far as the ex is concerned I feel like I am no longer waiting for her calls. I havent heard from her in a few days and honestly dont expect to. On top of that I am not overly concerned with hearing from her anymore. I am sure I will still have down days or what not but they are becoming less and less. In the morning I usually miss her the most but I barely remember what daily life was like with her.

 

Your on the right path, Just keep telling yourself everyday this!

 

check this link out

 

watch the video

 

Now smile damn it!

[surfjon]

You guys are doin ok...attitude helps, and the ability to let go or be dragged.

I don't know if one ever truly "heals", but we do recover eventually.

No matter how down you get, it will be better in little bits.

We regain certain aspects of ourselves more readily than others, it depends on whether or not you still have "ties", meaning kids, houses to dispose of, or things that require interaction.

 

I have kids, so we're like a coin, the 2 sides don't see each other, yet remain inseperable.

 

Peace to you

[SA2000]

Thats where I am fortunate. The ex used to complain that we didnt have anything really together. She always wanted joint everything but I kept saying "in time". When we split up all we had were 2 bills and an apartment. No kids or community property that had to be discussed. I took one of the dogs because she couldn't care for both of them which is fine by me (she got the little bad one since she adopted him on her own). Its like I was prepared for what I thought was statistically a likely scenario (I was clearly right!).

[SA2000]

I set the standard for how I'm treated. Just gotta remember that. You'll be treated how you allow people to treat you.

[SA2000]

My ex is reblogging my images on tumblr. Sweating my creative genius I see. Either that or my ability to find random images on line and post them while driving. Lol. Either way it's her reaching out. Whatever. Don't care. I'm more concerned with my schedule and if I should watch another DVR'd episode of Dexter or not. Getting there. Slowly.

[tha16thletter]

Yo son, I got my music into the hands of DJ Hi Tek. My ex LOVES Hi Tek (because I introduced her to his music), so when I get on and do a track with him, I'll make sure to throw that ish in her face. lol.

 

My ex reached out to me by posting on my music page (she's no longer a friend of mine, but I don't have the heart to block her from being a fan of my music...), and I'm just like.. why? And she text me today..... *ignore*

 

It feels good to care less and less....

[SA2000]

Nice 16th. * * * * 's rollling for you now. Keep pushin man.

[tha16thletter]

Yea man, this girl's boyfriend is his very best friend! Since he and I are both from Cinci, I hope he's tryin' to help ya boy out! I'm really excited... album release party is next Thursday.... she lit a fire under my ass man, and she doesn't even know that even though we're apart, she STILL is my motivation... the day I stopped relying on her, the day she gave up on me and I REALIZED it, is the day I started to believe in myself again...

 

Right now, I feel like I can't be stopped. Turn this situation into fuel for your fire, homie. You can do great things. You're an intelligent, talented, good lookin' guy. We both are. So what the F*** are we doing?!

 

I made a conscious choice man, no matter what she says, no matter if she tells me how "proud" of me she is, no matter how much she wants to make small talk on my music page... I'm not responding. She can call me asking for a CD, and I wont respond. No matter how awesome of a human being she thinks I am, you don't want to be with me, and I don't want to be your friend. That is the beginning, middle, and end of it. *I* don't want to be your friend, and *YOU* don't want to be with me. So we're left being two people in two different worlds.

 

I can say I'm no longer MovING on- I've MOVED on. I suggest you do the same, sir. Too much life to live.

 

-P

[SA2000]

I'm getting there. The ex was my catalyst too man. Ive been crushing at the gym and am already working on my next promotion at the office. The next step would mean some travel and could mean relocating in the future. Itll be worth the $ tho. If I stay here I'm thinking about grad school. Either that or more licensing. Gotta keep it pushin! I haven't had this much fuel in the fire in a minute.

 

And on another note I'm starting to look forward to the single life. Time to see whats out there. You know Eva Longoria is single now...

[tha16thletter]

LOL. Oh snap, her and Tony Parker split?!? *Gets on the hunt*...

 

Man, I gotta date with this girl from the Mitchell's salon up the street from my work on Monday. She's extra cute and apparently has been talking about me because the girl that got their change today told me we're "Good friends" now. lol. She told all of them about my release party and are trying to get them to come out. I'm bout to GET BIZ.

 

I know the exact feelin' though man. That fuel on the fire feeling. Whenever I feel like giving up, I think about the fact that this was supposed to be our dream, and she BAILED. She bailed on me. We coulda worked stuff out. She can't even ask me how my music is doing. She clearly doesn't care about me at all.

 

I think the most important thing I've said here is that they don't wanna be with us, and we don't want to be their friends. Just keep reminding yourself of that. She's made her choice, and, 4 months later, she's stuck to it. Bump that. I'm not gonna sit around for 3 1/2 months while you string me along with false hope. I'm cuttin' that rope right now.

 

But man, that's wassup. I'm proud you're moving forward and doing such great things. I am all for using that rage to fuel your ambitions. Eventually you'll be where you want to be, and you'll no longer be angry. Win-win!

[SA2000]

The days get easier and easier. Work has been so busy that I dont really have time to mull over the past. I am actually excited to see what else is out there now. Its funny how I look back at how I reacted to all of this and think about how I would react after the whole attachement element is gone. You cant really see clearly when someone drops something on you like that. I wish there was a way that I could say "Let me get back to you when I can think clearly about things without emotion clouding my vision".

[SA2000]

Ex called. I missed it. No voice mail. Meh. Couldn't be too important.

 

The ONLY way I'd take her back at this point is if she got me an iPad for Xmas. Otherwise forget it!

[nyc311]

Ex called. I missed it. No voice mail. Meh. Couldn't be too important.

 

The ONLY way I'd take her back at this point is if she got me an iPad for Xmas. Otherwise forget it!

 

What if it's only 16GB?

[tha16thletter]

LOL @ nyc. Killed it.

 

I agree, once the attachment is gone... you're just like.... oh, you wanna come back? That's EXACTLY how I feel. I wish I woulda just disappeared instead of making all the classic mistakes. We should really listen to the advice on these boards better!

[SA2000]

Yeah I would definitely have handled things differently if I had the opportunity to do it all over again. Im not operating a prison over here. If you dont want to stick around the door is wide open. But its labeled push from the inside and doesnt have a handle on the outside so you probably wont be able to get back in. Haha.

 

Unless you have an Ipad that is. I would settle for the 16 gig I guess but I wont pretend that I am totally happy.

[SA2000]

The ex posted a bunch of pictures on Tumblr that relate directly to me with a few I miss you type quotes. She keeps posting a picture of a traditional ring that I got her a long time ago as to say that she is trying to tell me that the posts are indeed meant for me. I think I am going to post a picture of an Ipad so she knows what I am thinking.

[SA2000]

Had another good day today at the office. I'm liking this new gig. Skipped the gym because I was too tired but I'm starting to regret it now. Tomorrow night I'm hitting the town with some dudes from work. I'm gonna take it easy on the sauce though. Last time I got hella depressed the next day.

[MakeItCount]

Dude, don't get an Ipad. Worthless! Ask for a Ferrari or something. More practical

 

Glad to hear you got over the little hump, don't let facebook slow you down. As you said, if she wants to come back, it'll have to be something a little less pathetic than facebook pictures.

[SA2000]

Oh yeah. That Facebook thing was a while ago now. She can't afford a Ferrari. Haha. I was allowing her mixed signals to confuse my train of thought but have since stopped trying to read them. We havent spoken in over a week and I don't anticipateuch effort from her to change that. Shell post things on her blog to influence my thinking but instead of responding I'll just return the favor. I'm ready to start to meet some new people now. I'm no longer trying to better myself to show her how great I can be I'm now doing it for myself. I'm glad we didn't get back together in the early stages. I really needed this time to refocus on life. I may not have changed my outlook had I not hit those lows. But I bounce back higher every time.

[gallop30]

i read the whole thread and i must admire your dealings with that ex. up to this point. now you got kind of bored of her,by that i mean that way too much energy was wasted on her and probably even for you it got old . she just seems to be some buffoon that hides behind childish behaviors.

[MakeItCount]

Agreed with gallop, it's funny how we try and try and get our act together around her etc..then one day it's like well screw that * * * * I've wasted enough effort.

[SA2000]

Yeah she sends out A LOT of mixed signals. She is really hot though. Ha. But yeah she doesnt know what she wants in life. I was there at one point so I understand. Relationships shouldnt be a prison though. I wouldnt want anyone to be with me if they arent happy. I understand that it takes work but if you feel like you'd be better off alone I can certainly respect that. I guess through all of this I still dont know what she wants from me. If she wants to be friends or whatever I am just not really interested in that so thats why I dont try to stay in contact with her anymore.

 

You read all 500 pages? Man. Hopefully this helps you in your travels. I see that you are in Chicago. I am your neighbor to the North in the drunkest city in the country. My ex is actually thinking about moving there. If you are interested in beautiful ladies who are terribly indecisive I can introduce. Haha. I knew I shouldnt date a girl who wears capri pants. If you cant decide if you want to wear shorts or pants then what can you make up your mind on? Haha.