Do you believe?

[speak]

Do you really believe that there is someone for everyone? That somewhere out there, no matter who you are or what you believe in, someone is going to be in the world to share a life with you and have your back?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No I don't. There are lots of people in this world who never find a life partner...or simply find a series of temporary partners.

[speak]

Hmm. I would like to believe that there is someone for everyone but, I am not sure.

[HouseKitten]

I believe it, but I think you have to be open to the possibility. For example, if you live your life actively pushing others away then you're never likely to find someone. But if you just get on with being happy and living a good life, then you're open for someone to come into your life

[Mauxly]

Unfortunately no. I don't believe it. Or kind of, I mean, there are millions of people in the world, I'd like to think that there is someone out there for nearly everyone. The problem is actually finding them. I do not believe that the hand of god comes down and puts you in contact with the right person for you, and like CAD said, many people simply grow old alone....

 

 

[blueeyedme]

I absolutely believe...in fact, I believe there are many someones.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Hmm. I would like to believe that there is someone for everyone but, I am not sure.

 

It is a nice thought but the reality is that not everyone finds a partner..and it really is not so simple to say they haven't found one because they pushed people away or because they weren't open to it. Finding a partner is often down to luck. Sure, lots of people go in and out and in and out of relationships always finding someone..but those people will often take anyone because they just want a relationship and anyone will do. Not everyone is like that. I certainly knew people who, when they died in their 70's and 80's never got married. I also know people who got married and stayed married but really never met their match...in other words, they may have had a partner but their relationship was very unhappy and unfulfilling.

[Cheetarah]

I believe in it, kind of. I don't think it's 'forever'. But as someone said it depends on our receptivity. It's my belief that people come and go in your life for a lesson learned(or taught). Maybe that's cheesy...But I've found something in every person that's crossed my path.

 

I'd LIKE to believe I have one soulmate out there, but I just don't think so.

[speak]

Well, I kind of do and don't. I do believe b/c I have met people that have married and stayed together for years and years! So, that is a hope. But, maybe it takes a lot of hard work.

[shes2smart]

What would you do differently if you chose to believe that?

 

What would you do differently if you chose NOT to believe that?

 

That's the great thing about stuff like this this -- there's no way to get a 100% true and accurate answer. It comes down to what people choose to believe and what their own (highly subjective) experiences are.

 

It's a great opportunity for you to choose the way you live, really.

 

And here's one different interpretation of "someone for everyone, someone's who'll always love you, someone who's always got your back." -- You already have that. Go look in a mirror.

[speak]

True. I do always have myself. But life is so much sweeter and precious when you have someone beside you to share your life with. Struggles, joyful moments, tears, laughter. You know?

[shes2smart]

True. I do always have myself. But life is so much sweeter and precious when you have someone beside you to share your life with. Struggles, joyful moments, tears, laughter. You know?

 

I was single for a long time.

 

I've been married for 8 years.

 

Life is pretty sweet and precious in either state if one chooses to believe it is, simply because one is alive. This idea that one state or the other is somehow better or preferable seems to me to be the cause of a good deal of unhappiness for people.

 

I do have to remind myself (....on an almost daily basis....) that people also have the right to choose to be miserable and fixated on what they don't have at the expense of what they do have....and it's none of my business/concern.

 

For most of us, life will turn out to be a series of cycles of being single & coupled at various times. I'm greedy. I'd like to be able to enjoy it ALL...not just parts of it.

[MD Geist]

No I don't. There are lots of people in this world who never find a life partner...or simply find a series of temporary partners.

 

Or non at all.

[speak]

I was single for a long time.

 

I've been married for 8 years.

 

Life is pretty sweet and precious in either state if one chooses to believe it is, simply because one is alive. This idea that one state or the other is somehow better or preferable seems to me to be the cause of a good deal of unhappiness for people.

 

I do have to remind myself (....on an almost daily basis....) that people also have the right to choose to be miserable and fixated on what they don't have at the expense of what they do have....and it's none of my business/concern.

 

For most of us, life will turn out to be a series of cycles of being single & coupled at various times. I'm greedy. I'd like to be able to enjoy it ALL...not just parts of it.

 

I do believe in "Happiness is what you make it." I feel like people have been taken from me in life too early. My mother passed when I was only 12 and my father passed away recently right before my 21st birthday. I just really want that one reliable person in my life to spend time with.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I believe there are multiple soulmates walking around the earth for each of us - each of us who are ready for a normal, healthy relationship. And being ready doesn't mean, necessarily, that you will find it. There is luck involved. And timing. Being in the right place at the right time, etc.

 

And then, there are the people that are discussed on countless ENA threads. Controlling, abusive, addictive, using, etc. I don't believe there is a soulmate for these people because they aren't capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. The way they live their lives and treat other people have excluded them from the possibility. Their idea of a relationship is derived in terms of what it does for them and how it feeds their psychoses. They haven't done the work to ready themselves for a healthy relationship.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I believe there are multiple soulmates walking around the earth for each of us - each of us who are ready for a normal, healthy relationship. And being ready doesn't mean, necessarily, that you will find it. There is luck involved. And timing. Being in the right place at the right time, etc.

 

And then, there are the people that are discussed on countless ENA threads. Controlling, abusive, addictive, using, etc. I don't believe there is a soulmate for these people because they aren't capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. The way they live their lives and treat other people have excluded them from the possibility. Their idea of a relationship is derived in terms of what it does for them and how it feeds their psychoses. They haven't done the work to ready themselves for a healthy relationship.

 

Sadly, those are the kind of people who always seem to find someone who loves them and would walk to the ends of the earth for them. So while they may be nobody's soulmate..they seem to find a series of partners who view them as their soulmate!

[itsallgrand]

I don't really have a set belief on this except that I don't know. It's so subjective, not something that a person can say yes or no to, IMO.

 

All I know is that I did realize recently, that no matter what is going on in my life, I do have a firm sense of confidence about there being someone out there who would be worth meeting to me. And who would really enjoy knowing me, too.

 

"for me" I don't know. I don't really believe in fate, or that everything was created for some grand purpose, or that people were created with some match out there made 'just for them'.

 

I just believe that things are possible and with 6+ billions humans out in the world right now and counting, there is too much reason to believe there is hope to meet someone than not, eventually, who could mean something to me and me to him. lol.

[Dako]

Is there someone for Mel Gibson?

[itsallgrand]

Is there someone for Mel Gibson?

 

My grandma would be good.

[shyguy1]

I think there's someone out there for most.

 

I don't for one single solitary second think there's someone out there for everyone.

 

I simply hope I fit in the realm of 'most' although I lose help with every passing day, week, month and year.

[stella74]

I wouldn't wish anyone on Mel Gibson! LOL

 

I used to believe there was someone for everyone, but then as I got older and realized many people don't find someone with whom to share a life I was forced to change this view. Now I think that most people have someone in their life at various times. We can have one life partner or we can have one or more people who help us on life's journey, but in either case we always have to be our own best friend. Even long-term married couples are not there for each other all the time. So I think it's unrealistic to think that someone will "have your back" 100% of the time.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Even if there is, there is no guarantee that we find them. I believe that is one of those statements that sounds good but doesn't really have much meaning to it. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't.

[itsallgrand]

I wouldn't wish anyone on Mel Gibson! LOL

 

I used to believe there was someone for everyone, but then as I got older and realized many people don't find someone with whom to share a life I was forced to change this view. Now I think that most people have someone in their life at various times. We can have one life partner or we can have one or more people who help us on life's journey, but in either case we always have to be our own best friend. Even long-term married couples are not there for each other all the time. So I think it's unrealistic to think that someone will "have your back" 100% of the time.

 

Yeah, I think that is where the trip up happens - someone out there is leading others to believe that having some for your whole life and this whole fairy tale thing that doesn't take into account death, divorce, break-ups, changing as people, wanting different things at different times......have created this monster expectation of what good relationships are about.

 

Not having that expectation makes the whole thing a lot easier to enjoy as you go along.

[bulletproof]

I do believe in "Happiness is what you make it." I feel like people have been taken from me in life too early. My mother passed when I was only 12 and my father passed away recently right before my 21st birthday. I just really want that one reliable person in my life to spend time with.

 

If that is the motivation, you might have a hard time. When we're trying to fill a hole that was left by trauma, it puts a lot of pressure on that potential mate.

 

Overall, I don't believe anything is destined, but I do agree with those saying that if a person is open to someone coming into his/her life, it will happen.

[dragon lady]

I think most people, even those who are very eccentric, can eventually find someone who is compatible. It's a romantic idea that there is one soulmate out there for everyone, but I don't believe this to be true. There are some people who do not function well with a partner. There are others who become abusive and manipulative to those they love. Along with a whole lot of other reasons, it doesn't make sense to assume that everyone has a soulmate who will make them happy.