Do you believe?

[stella74]

Not having that expectation makes the whole thing a lot easier to enjoy as you go along.

 

Yes, very true.

[Stay_home]

Start readying yourself for either option. It was mentioned earlier in a post that not everyone finds who their looking for, it's true. Start now, start readying yourself for life in case that happens. Because if it does, you cannot stop living your life, you have to continue to move forward.

[Clarity]

I believe it. I also believe that some of us will never meet those people in our lifetimes.

[newwave]

Nope, not everyone finds a soulmate. It all depends on if a higher power loves you or not.

[bulletproof]

Nope, not everyone finds a soulmate. It all depends on if a higher power loves you or not.

 

That's completely untrue and somewhat irresponsible advice.

[odile]

It is a nice thought but the reality is that not everyone finds a partner..and it really is not so simple to say they haven't found one because they pushed people away or because they weren't open to it. Finding a partner is often down to luck. Sure, lots of people go in and out and in and out of relationships always finding someone..but those people will often take anyone because they just want a relationship and anyone will do. Not everyone is like that. I certainly knew people who, when they died in their 70's and 80's never got married. I also know people who got married and stayed married but really never met their match...in other words, they may have had a partner but their relationship was very unhappy and unfulfilling.

 

Ah, but there's a difference between something existing, and being able to find it.

Just because some people don't find it, doesn't mean that it isn't out there somewhere.

 

I'm with those that feel that there are many potentials from which to choose. The way I see it:

 

*Some options are weak or lazy choices, because they involve settling for the unhealthy --and sometimes frankly wrong-- reasons

as with the case of unhealthy people using others, or sacrificing themselves to those that would abuse them, or in less extreme examples simply settling for far less, even if it makes them unhappy.

 

*Some options are workable, if not absolutely ideal-

these are that whole range of matches that one might get along with, and eventually be comfortable with, but may always feel like maybe there was a tiny indescribable something lacking.

Dedication can build a strong partnership, but it's not the same as those partnerships that really have some magic chemistry to them.

 

*Some options are ideal, but very difficult to find-

these are the matches that most of us dream of finding.

[Sports Fan]

There is someone for everyone, but not everyone finds that someone. Here in the United States, there are roughly 300 million people. Figure about half are the opposite sex, so that's roughly 150 million people. Out of those 150 million, there has to be at least one individual for you.

[newwave]

That's completely untrue and somewhat irresponsible advice.

 

It's true. See, one is punished depending on how HE loves you. He loves certain people and gives them the perfect person, whereas others he gives crumbs.

[Stay_home]

I believe, let's put it that way. I believe that good things can happen if you put a little work in your life. Notice, I didn't say anything about a soulmate or a relationship in that sentence. Life has a lot more to offer us than just a hubby or wifey. There's things like good health, friends, fortunate and the ability to take care of yourself or do some sort of good for others in need. I no longer believe in worrying my poor self to bits about what woman likes me and what woman doesn't. I walk holding my head up about the things that I do have as opposed to things that I don't. Who knows, maybe oneday I may get lucky, if I haven't already. And if my chance has come and gone, well, at least then I can say that I've been there before. I'm just trying to live to 100 someday.

[wsim]

In a fair world.... yes, I would like to believe there is someone out there for everyone. I do believe that there is.

 

Unfortunately, not everyone will find "the one". Fate can work for us or against. All I can do is hope and keep having faith. If it does work out, all those years of adversity, emotional ups/downs stemmed from a lifetime of being single will be worth it.

 

I have to cope and prepare for the very realistic possibility that I may never find that person.

[Manco]

Do you really believe that there is someone for everyone? That somewhere out there, no matter who you are or what you believe in, someone is going to be in the world to share a life with you and have your back?

 

Yeah, lots. I see them every day. Too bad they aren't my type

[LAYAAN]

Do you really believe that there is someone for everyone? That somewhere out there, no matter who you are or what you believe in, someone is going to be in the world to share a life with you and have your back?

No. Its not that the person is sent here on earth custom-fitted for me and I will meet him and be happy forever. I don't believe in that. I believe that if I want companionship then I have to put in efforts to look for that person. There is not just 1 person that will be suitable for me. There can be many people with similar personalities, interests, lifestyles that would be compatible with me and a good fit. Share a life and have my back... all good things to dream about, again not sure if I will find that. These days, it looks like, you need to have your own back. You need to learn to take care of yourself, financially and emotionally be a strong person, find a good support network. That husband thing may or may not work.

[cothomi]

I dont believe too

Until now, i am still alone. When almost my friends found their lovers or their partner.

I had been some relationships. But then, we broke up already.

The more u try to find a person for urself, the more u feel alone

[LightbulbSun]

I doubt I'll ever find someone. I've been alone for far too long for someone to suddenly come into my life. It's been proven impossible by the probability.

[bulletproof]

It's true. See, one is punished depending on how HE loves you. He loves certain people and gives them the perfect person, whereas others he gives crumbs.

 

I won't turn this into a religious debate, but you are assuming everyone believes what you believe. And it is cruel for you to suggest that some people are being punished, regardless of what you believe.

 

Also, there is no such thing as a perfect person.

[newwave]

I won't turn this into a religious debate, but you are assuming everyone believes what you believe. And it is cruel for you to suggest that some people are being punished, regardless of what you believe.

 

Also, there is no such thing as a perfect person.

 

I'm not talking about others, I'm stating that I might be punished if I don't end up with my match.

[Saffron_]

I'm not talking about others, I'm stating that I might be punished if I don't end up with my match.

 

Newwave stop hijacking the thread.

 

No I don't believe there's someone for everyone. It's a lovely thought and I wish I did believe it....but how many people find 'the one' only to leave them and subsequently find another 'the one'. In an ideal world I'd love to mate for life, I really would. But this isn't an ideal world.

[easyguy]

I feel there are those in the world who find a way to broaden the wingspan of what they believe to beautiful and let their vulnerability to change put them in a better position to embrace an ideal that was not realized under self-limiting dispositions.

[newwave]

Newwave stop hijacking the thread.

 

No I don't believe there's someone for everyone. It's a lovely thought and I wish I did believe it....but how many people find 'the one' only to leave them and subsequently find another 'the one'. In an ideal world I'd love to mate for life, I really would. But this isn't an ideal world.

 

Someone asked, so I told them. We don't all find the one. Some people are just unlucky and some truly are not chosen people.

[surfNski]

No, there is not someone for everybody. I am sorry but I think thats a bit naive to think there is one person made especially for us. There are countless people that die single never finding love, there are also countless people who go through life single constantly watching people walk out of their life to fall in love with others. I met a woman in her late 60's the other day she was a retired school teacher, sweet as can be, and never even been kissed. Thats just reality some people are lucky some people arent.

 

Life isnt fair and it certainly isnt kind...

[Batya33]

No, there is not someone for everybody. I am sorry but I think thats a bit naive to think there is one person made especially for us. There are countless people that die single never finding love, there are also countless people who go through life single constantly watching people walk out of their life to fall in love with others. I met a woman in her late 60's the other day she was a retired school teacher, sweet as can be, and never even been kissed. Thats just reality some people are lucky some people arent.

 

Life isnt fair and it certainly isnt kind...

 

I find it a bit narrowminded to think of people who are single as unlucky - sometimes they are the luckiest people in the world because they can fulfil their purpose in life, or follow their passion, etc. in a way they would not have been able to do if they had a spouse or a partner because of course there are often constraints once you're in a partnership - either geographically, financially, or even emotionally (such as caring for a loved one who is ill). It's also a bit narrowminded to think that a single person "never finds love" -I'm sure many married people never find love, and many single people do find love despite never being married or inn LTR.

[shes2smart]

No, there is not someone for everybody. I am sorry but I think thats a bit naive to think there is one person made especially for us. There are countless people that die single never finding love, there are also countless people who go through life single constantly watching people walk out of their life to fall in love with others. I met a woman in her late 60's the other day she was a retired school teacher, sweet as can be, and never even been kissed. Thats just reality some people are lucky some people arent.

 

Life isnt fair and it certainly isnt kind...

 

To say it all comes down to "luck" is to take absolutely NO responsibility for the various factors one can control....and there are actually a good portion of those.

 

As for life not being "fair"...why does anyone have the expectation that it should be? This is something that is demonstrated to just about all of us starting at a fairly young age and keeps being demonstrated to us repeatedly...but instead of accepting the unfairness and going on to focus on how to best play the hand we've been dealt, some folks choose to keep focused on the unfairness of it all and use it as an excuse to not take control of that which they can control.

 

This 60-something woman you met...how much of her story do you really know? She, like all of us, has made (and continues to make) many decisions in her life that brought her to where she is now.

 

Had I made different decisions along the way, I could well be single now...or I could be unhappily married now....or I could be divorced now....or I could be in some women's prison because instead of leaving the cheating SOB I chose to wring his neck instead.....but I digress. Point is, different circumstances come up ("luck" if you will) and we make our choices as to how to respond to and deal with them ("that which we can control").

 

We each have the choice to live our lives as if we have no control over anything (it's all "luck" or "fate" or "God")...or we can choose to think as if we control everything (which generally results in becoming very controlling and demanding and being constantly disappointed and irritated and just tired)....or we can take a more realistic approach and acknowledge there are some things we DON'T have control over and some things we DO have control over, focus our attention, energy and effort on that which we can control and work around the rest.

 

But, then again this was the gist of my first post in this thread:

 

What would you do differently if you chose to believe that?

 

What would you do differently if you chose NOT to believe that?

 

That's the great thing about stuff like this this -- there's no way to get a 100% true and accurate answer. It comes down to what people choose to believe and what their own (highly subjective) experiences are.

 

It's a great opportunity for you to choose the way you live, really.

 

Again, though, I have to remind myself that not everyone is ready or willing to take that level of responsibility for themselves/their life...and it is their right to choose that for themselves, too.

[bulletproof]

Someone asked, so I told them. We don't all find the one. Some people are just unlucky and some truly are not chosen people.

 

Again, for those who don't believe as you do there are no "chosen" people. And the argument that you are speaking about yourself only doesn't wash.

 

People have control over their lives and their choices for the most part. Suggesting that how we live our lives is futile because we must be "chosen" is really awful.

[Circe]

It's actually not subjective at all The question (though it seems on the surface like a pointless 'do you believe in fairy tales' type question) can actually be approached logically:

 

1) Think of 5 billion different parallel universes. In each one - everything is the same except that you have a relationship with a different person. Ultimately, you go through every single person that is alive on (our) Earth at the same time that you are alive.

 

2) Rank each of those 5 billion (or whatever the population of the world is) in order starting with number 1 - based on how good the relationship was (how happy and fulfilled you were etc).

 

3) Number 1 - is your "best" mate and the chances are it was a fairly great relationship. No guarantee of that. You could just be phenomenally unusual and difficult to have a relationship with!

 

4) At some point - most people find "someone" to have a relationship with - hopefully you find someone higher up on the hypothetical ranking than lower. Of course, you could never know for yourself how high up the person is. But objectively, (based on all the possible combinations of relationships possible in the world) they do fit somewhere on that list. You just never know where.

 

So is it possible for someone to find #1? Yes. Likely? No. Possible to find noone at all? Yes. Possible for any combination in the middle? Yes.

 

So these questions - while there is an objective way to think about them - are still ultimately pointless. Just live your life true as you can to your values - grow and learn - find your own happiness - be open to things but rational and appropriately safe as well - and hope for the best.

[MattW]

Heh, well, obviously there's not a proportional amount of people where everyone WILL get paired off with someone. I think the more accurate question would be "Will everyone that wants to find a partner to spend the rest of their life with actually find that other person?".

 

Either way, my answer is no. Plenty of people never get the life that they want. Plenty of people fail to accomplish the things in life that they want to. Sometimes, it's their own fault, sometimes it's just the cruel way the world works.