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oldenoughtoknow last won the day on September 20 2011

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About oldenoughtoknow

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  • Birthday 06/16/1960
  1. Whatever you do, don't have another child with this albatross. Since you don't seem ready to leave, I would recommend counseling. You deserve to be treated better than this.
  2. Well, I guess it never hurts to ask. That doesn't mean you should give it to her. You're not married. And you "owe" her a place to stay...I assume you make all or most of the household income? Who would you consider the primary caregiver for the children right now? You? She wants to stop by your place to see the kids, so does she want future custody of them at all? It's sounding like you have a third child here.
  3. It seems that the two of you had a mediocre start and it went downhill fast. The most unfortunate thing is there are now two children involved. You seem like you've always wanted her more as a companion. She wants more sex than you are comfortable providing. She has had multiple affairs. She's not interested in stopping her affairs or contact with past lovers and has lost all attraction for you. I'm sorry, but I don't see much here to salvage.
  4. This reminds me of a blind date, long ago in my dating days. We went out a few times and were reminiscing over our first date and she made a big deal over her getting a pedicure the day of our date. I told her I hadn't noticed. She was miffed. I told that when I (and probably most guys) first look at a woman, I start at the top with eyes, overall face, hair, then chest, overall body, maybe legs. If I have to go all the way down to her feet to find something attractive...
  5. Yeah, guys like it - if it's someone they find attractive. Maybe, if approaching isn't working, you can try something equally obvious, but slightly less forward. Like walking by them and without breaking stride, flash a big smile and look down. If they're interested and they have blood coursing through their veins, they'll approach you in short order.
  6. I think your shy guy was feeling sorry for himself. It probably feels to him, since he finds the approach and pursuit so difficult, that all a woman has to do is stand back and say yes or no to any advances. Being a woman in that position would obviously give you the power. But, that assumes every guy you want to pursue you walks up and talks to you and asks you out. The truth is, it's not particularly easy for either gender.
  7. Wow, I started out in the OP thinking moron, then jerk, then cruel, and now that I've read to here, I've covered all the expletives I know. Don't waste another brain pulse on this bag of crap. The next time he bothers to contact you, tell him "goodbye" (personally, I'd throw in a few other choice words) and hang up.
  8. It's only been 4 months, right? He's a guy, and we're notorious for thinking about women and cars and bars and sports and maybe work and a few other things, but you get the gist. Now, he's in a relationship and his SO is asking him what he thinks heaven looks like and what language he might like to learn someday. Uh, what? Part of the basis of our attraction is what a man and woman each bring to the table. The yin and yang. We each grow and stretch as the other draws. Give the guy a chance. I guarantee your conversation starters are shifting his thought patterns. But 4 months isn't a
  9. People have to endure this type of thing all the time when they're around others who are flirtatious. Maybe you've never seen him do it with anyone else, but that doesn't mean it's true. He may only do it with a selection of pretty women who are regular patrons. Who knows? Are you sure he isn't married or in a relationship? Where the rubber meets the road is when you gave him your number and suggested lunch and he did nothing about it. This "relationship" has gone as far as he wants it to go. I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about it. I have a very strong feeling that if you e
  10. If you gave him your phone number and suggested lunch and he hasn't done anything, believe me, he's not interested. A really shy guy who was interested in you might not be able to bring himself to take such obvious bait, but this guy is a shameless flirt. If he was interested, you've given him all the green lights he needs, post office regulations notwithstanding. I'd take him for what he is and let it go - his lack of response is a clear sign of how far he wants this dalliance to proceed.
  11. I have to agree with FathomFear. Just do something...anything...just to get it over with, if for no other reason, and get on with your life. Hand him an envelope with his name and a stamp and your phone number inside, and ask him to mail it to himself. Send him an email and ask how "so why haven't you asked me out already?" He works in the post office and I'm sure you can come up with something fun and contextual on your own. He may well have strict policies about fraternizing with customers. Give him a little push.
  12. I don't have a good online disappearing story, so I'll tell you why I don't have a good story, instead. Don't waste your time chatting with someone online forever. If you have a list of criteria that checks out, and you email back and forth a few times, talk to them on the phone once and setup a date. Meet in person. Done. They may still disappear, but at least it may be because of age-old reasons that we can all understand. No spark, whatever. And you will not have wasted a bunch of time and emotional energy chatting online, getting excited, chatting some more, getting more excited, on
  13. First of all, ToV has given you some tremendous advice. I hope you stick with it. I'm not certain about the female therapist angle. You've mentioned that you have no problem talking to female professors, yoga instructors, etc., that you have no romantic interest in. It's when you are interested, you put them on a pedestal and anxiety rushes in. I'm not sure practice flirting with a (paid) therapist will help that much, because regardless of how hard you try not to, you will subconsciously know two things: 1. I'm not romantically interested in her. 2. I'm paying her to do this. She won'
  14. This all smacks of a self-defeating attitude. That's not funny and friendly. That's not fun at all. That's not putting yourself out there. That's protecting yourself from harm by assuring yourself of certain failure and excusing yourself from participation. No guts, no glory. You have to learn to stop your negative internal dialogue. So, apparently your crush in speech class has a handsome BF. Based on what? Her walking somewhere with a handsome guy? Bad assumption. You're just looking for the easiest way to fail. Your yoga crush actually walked up and spoke to YOU? But you sa
  15. I'm not talking about pickup crap or playing games. I'm talking about talking to women like people, and having fun with them. Women are people - remember that (no, I'm really not kidding). Being able to make a woman laugh is very attractive. And you can joke about anything, really. Finding something in context makes it more real and it will feel less like a pick up - but let's face it, that is what you're trying to do here, so don't apologize for it. Just be yourself and treat them like you would anyone else. For the yoga class, you could also joke about yourself. It's pretty common fo
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