Elsewhere Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 I met him through work and decided he is worth a chance so he got the number. We have not gone out on a date # 1 yet, it has only been a couple rather official text messages... And here's my question: he txted me around midnight (twice) - that's not really respectful is it? I mean this is a booty call hour, if he thought anything more of me he'd follow the etiquette. I'm not all that formal with friends, they can call me anytime day or night, but a guy who's trying to ask me out on a first date? that kind of defines what he's thinking of me or looking for at the moment... What do you think??? Link to comment
Jpo Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 How old are you? As a 23 year old, I'm normally up till 2-3 in the morning. 12 doesn't seem that late. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted June 24, 2010 Author Share Posted June 24, 2010 I'm in my late 20. and 12 is fine for friends, but not for nearly strangers... If you go to bed at 3am would you think it's considerate if someone called you at 6 am? not really right? I just think it's disrespectful if you don't know someone well (especially if it's man trying to start a romantic relationship with a woman) Link to comment
BriarRose Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Honestly, if I like someone, I don't care what time they call. Now if you haven't been out with him yet and he is texting you at that hour to come over or something, that's different. Then I would say...next! But if he just wants to chat, I wouldn't have a problem with that. Link to comment
Jpo Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 I'm in my late 20. and 12 is fine for friends, but not for nearly strangers... If you go to bed at 3am would you think it's considerate if someone called you at 6 am? not really right? I just think it's disrespectful if you don't know someone well (especially if it's man trying to start a romantic relationship with a woman) Actually not really. I don't care when people call me; my phone is always on vibrate and if you call at 6AM I will be asleep and not answer. Especially someone who I am interested in I would be excited no matter when they called. I'm not saying this to be mean, but I sort of think of having certain "appropriate" times to call of an older generation (i.e. my Dad gets mad when anyone calls after 10PM, even if he is awake till 1AM). No one I know my age cares when you call them. Maybe it is my age and the crowd I hang with though. What time do you go to bed? And does he even know? I would assume most people in their 20s would still be awake and kicking at 12AM... Not that late IMO. It's not like we're talking about 80 year olds here. Link to comment
Deejmonster Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 i never knew it mattered. As a male.. i dont take time into account when i want to talk to someone.. unless its obviously late/early in the morning.. im the kind of guy who works hard all day and is focused.. and when i come home.. relax my mind wanders to things it likes.. and if it is someone in particular.. i just may have a chat to see how they are.. doesnt mean im thinking of sex or something dirty.. if a guy wanted to have sex with you.. he would make it obvious... we dont like mind games so we like to cut to the chase. in your case. I think he was just trying to be polite. Don't be overly cautious Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted June 24, 2010 Author Share Posted June 24, 2010 I c where you're coming from, I guess I was raised differently - with the idea of gentlemen and ladies... I have to be up at 7 am and my phone is my alarm clock so it can't be on vibrate. If you're calling at midnight, it better be important. And sure if i was head over heels for him, I'd be happy to hear from him! but I don't know him at all Link to comment
Jpo Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Just tell him that then Elsewhere, I'm sure he would understand. I doubt he means to be rude though. Link to comment
petite Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Doesn't seem like a big issue. If you like him his text should be welcome anytime. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 I actually happen to agree with the OP, I think it is a bit disrespectful for a man to contact a woman he doesn't know all that well at midnight. However it doesn't necessarily mean that he's not all that interested or he just wants a booty call, he may just share the opinion of the rest of the posters on this thread So I guess we're in the minority here lol...but if it really bothers you, you can just answer his text the next morning, and say something along the lines of "sorry I didn't get back to you last night I was already asleep", that should give him the hint to contact you earlier. BTW I think most working people are sleeping by midnight (I'm unemployed at the moment so I don't count lol). Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 you can just answer his text the next morning, and say something along the lines of "sorry I didn't get back to you last night I was already asleep", that should give him the hint to contact you earlier. I think your response is an excellent suggestion. Link to comment
Brigadoon Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 So I guess we're in the minority here lol...but if it really bothers you, you can just answer his text the next morning, and say something along the lines of "sorry I didn't get back to you last night I was already asleep", that should give him the hint to contact you earlier. This is what I would do if it bothers you but I wouldn't read too much into when he texts if he's not trying to invite himself over at three in the morning lol. I have a friend who's in her fifties and her phone will be ringing past midnight, whereas I wouldn't initiate a conversation after half nine or ten at night with anyone; even family. I'd have no problem texting until the small hours with someone I was into though Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I don't like to text in the beginning stages. It's so easy to misinterpret meaning. In the end, it isn't real communication. Link to comment
amipushy Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Maybe he was hoping that you would invite him around, or maybe he was trying to be romantic and show you that you were the last thing on his mind before he fell asleep, or maybe he doesn't think its that late, who knows. But maybe you should just meet him, you know. Link to comment
DeenasRhino Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 What did the text message say to make you think it was a booty call? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted June 26, 2010 Share Posted June 26, 2010 If you liked him, you wouldn't care. It's just a text. It's not like he's banging on your door. I agree with Petite. Link to comment
hrtlsngl7 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 He's too anxious. We all know what gurls do to guys that are like that. + I don't think he knows the rules. Just tell him to not text you at that time an that it's rude. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 He's too anxious. We all know what gurls do to guys that are like that. + I don't think he knows the rules. Just tell him to not text you at that time an that it's rude. When I have liked someone, I have never cared what time they contacted me. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 Exacly, like you all say: "if you're into him, you don't care bout the time" - but I'm not into him, I don't even know him. It's like say you come in to an office at 4.59pm and as a clerk a huge favor - if he was your friend he'd probably serve you, but if you're a stranger: "sorry, we're closed", stick to the savoir-vivre Link to comment
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