Preparing to lose virginity

[hmdreamer7]

Hey all ~

 

I tried searching a bit and found some ideas, but was hoping to ask myself as well...

 

When you lost your virginity, what did you do (physically) to prepare yourself? I guess my question is directed more to female responses, but if the guys have any thoughts, please share

 

I have been with this one man that I care about very much for awhile now, and I feel that emotionally I'm ready to do this with him. Is there anything I should do to prepare myself? I figured grooming would be an important thing, but any thoughts about loosening myself up down there, since he's pretty well endowed?

[Hermes]

HMdreamer:

 

In the heat of the passion it will just happen naturally ¿LOL?.

 

If he is a skilful lover he will make sure that you are ready for the moment.

 

Hermes

[SingleStar]

hm well i was 16 so ill try and remember!........ I think it was a case that we had had lots and lots of foreplay and were very comfortable with each other.... ans Hermes says... it just easily happened after that.

 

i presume your partner is not a virgin?

[Organs]

Had a glass of wine.

[OptomisticGirl]

I don't think there is anything you can do to 'loosen' the who ha up down there if you're a virgin. It's gonna hurt no matter what. Although I don't know if kegal exercises would work...

 

As silly as it sounds I'd mentally prepare myself. It's a HUGE step for a girl and a lot of us botch it (I did). Pamper yourself the day before, get all girlie. If you want it to be super romantic (as much as the first time can be romantic) convey this to your partner and let him make the preparations. It's really a mental thing once you get past the 'virgin barrier'.

[sophie274]

I don't think you need to do anything to physically prepare yourself as far as grooming or "loosening". Presumably you and your partner have been sexually intimate before, so I'm sure whatever grooming you have going on currently is fine by him! And also, since presumably you and your partner have experimented with other sexual activities, you already feel comfortable with him being in that area of your body.

 

To me, the most important thing you can do to prepare yourself physically is make you sure you have discussed both STDs and birth control with your partner, and that the both of you have gotten the required medical check-ups, etc. If you have never gotten a pap smear before - which ideally you would have, given your age - you should schedule one with your gynecologist.

 

Enjoying your first time is in many ways about feeling relaxed and ready for the experience. What helped me relax the most was having a conversation with my partner about taking this step, discussing how we felt about it, and having conversations about stds/birth control/ and what we would do if I were to get pregnant. When the moment did come, I felt that I had "covered all my bases", so to speak, and was not anxious about what I was doing. As far as the act itself: communication communication communication with your partner, and going as slow as you need to.

[addictedblue]

It's going to hurt and there isn't much you can do to stop it. I basically laid there and just took the pain. It hurt again the second time and by the third time it started actually feeling good. There isn't much you can do to prepare yourself physically, just emotionally.

 

When you have sex with someone, hormones are released that sometimes make you feel "in love." A lot of times girls will get more clingy or attached to the guy after sleeping with him....ESPECIALLY when it's the first time. Make sure he's the one for you basically. The guy I lost it to the first time was not the same guy I slept with my second time...there were months in between...because after sleeping with the first guy I got really emotional and acted a lot different than I had before (it was uncontrollable and I only noticed how much it changed things after thinking back a while later) and he was a huge jerk about it and we didn't see each other anymore...even though before the act we were REALLY into each other. That hurt like hell. So my advice to you is to make sure he's the right one and communicate to him how you feel after.

[Sparkly Eyes]

it hurt me the first like 50 times! lol. And it still hurts sometimes...

 

Lots and lots of foreplay and lube is needed. He has to go slow. I also highly recommend you to play with your clit when he is trying to penetrate you, it turns the pain to pleasure. I wish I knew this when I lost my virginity.

[Taikero]

If you haven't done so already, I'd suggest you both go get a full STD panel run first, just for peace of mind.

 

If he's able to make you orgasm through other activities, let him do so before you try. That way you'll be relaxed and there should be plenty of lubrication by that time to help here.

 

If he hasn't made you orgasm yet but you can make yourself do so through masturbation, then I would suggest doing so beforehand for the same reasons.

 

Beyond that, it will hurt to some degree, but if he's really the right guy he's going to care about how you feel and if you keep the communication going during it you'll be just fine.

[DD123]

there was no "preparation". i had fingered myself before so it wasnt that uncomfortable. dont stress. let whatever happens happen.

[dragon lady]

I had used a full sized vibrator beforehand and I still bled like crazy my 2nd time (first time was smaller than the vibrator).

 

Maybe take some ibuprofen?

[Kaiser_Soze]

Try and relax. Hopefully he's patient and not in such a rush to get it on. Make sure he wears a condom, but not just for the obvious reasons but also for the lubrication. Tryin to enter a nervous virgin dry, is like tryin to break into a bank vault with your tongue, your gonna be there for a while.

[KeepMe]

You really can't expect too much the first few times, like another said ... it's going to hurt. He will need to make sure that he stops if it begins to hurt too much. It's not something you can jump right into, and last for a long time.

Your grooming question, I would say you need to be groomed can't have jungle brush. But I wouldn't do anything too extreme that you aren't use too. For example if you don't like the shaved look, and you normally don't do the shaved thing, I wouldn't do it. Just keep it trim ... also if you keep it trimmed takes the pain away from hairs being pulled ... lol.

 

The root of your question though is when are you ready? It's ready when it just happens, that's how it should be anyway. If it doesn't come naturally you probably are not ready for it. Just take it slow, and be careful.

[greywolf]

You don't need to loosen yourself. You don't have to have sex in one day. Start off slowly; you can do it over the course of a few days. Have him finger you and when you're comfortable with that (you might not like it the first time), then you could try sex.

[greywolf]

I don't think there is anything you can do to 'loosen' the who ha up down there if you're a virgin. It's gonna hurt no matter what. Although I don't know if kegal exercises would work...

 

As silly as it sounds I'd mentally prepare myself. It's a HUGE step for a girl and a lot of us botch it (I did). Pamper yourself the day before, get all girlie. If you want it to be super romantic (as much as the first time can be romantic) convey this to your partner and let him make the preparations. It's really a mental thing once you get past the 'virgin barrier'.

 

You know... everyone told me that, so I was disappointed after I had sex because I didn't feel any different. =/ I still feel like a virgin most of the time because I didn't experience any emotional changes.

[drummerboyfnd]

Addicted Blue and Taikero nailed it ('scuse the pun).

Relax as much as you can, but it will hurt. Take inventory of your feelings for him ahead of time, and if you're sure you're safe with him (emotionally), remember to have a bit of attachment in examining your feelings for him once you're intimate in this way.

And lots of foreplay/cumming beforehand is a good idea.

[OptomisticGirl]

You know... everyone told me that, so I was disappointed after I had sex because I didn't feel any different. =/ I still feel like a virgin most of the time because I didn't experience any emotional changes.

 

I didn't have that lovely dovey feeling or that clingy sensation. I just felt horrible because the situation mine happened in, was not romantic and is the text book case you tell young girls NOT to do when they lose it.

 

Def. a story my niece and future daughters will hear to learn from my lesson!

 

But I know what you mean, other then the feeling horrible I felt no different. I knew a huge step had been taken but it wasn't until YEARS later that I realized just how huge that misstep was.

[greywolf]

I didn't have that lovely dovey feeling or that clingy sensation. I just felt horrible because the situation mine happened in, was not romantic and is the text book case you tell young girls NOT to do when they lose it.

 

Def. a story my niece and future daughters will hear to learn from my lesson!

 

But I know what you mean, other then the feeling horrible I felt no different. I knew a huge step had been taken but it wasn't until YEARS later that I realized just how huge that misstep was.

 

Yeah, I just don't feel like I lost anything or gave anything away. =/

[Taikero]

Yeah, I just don't feel like I lost anything or gave anything away. =/

 

Honestly, isn't it the guy that's giving (losing) and the girl receiving (gaining)?

 

I mean, if you look at it physiologically, I think the idea of virginity and its surrounding preconceptions has been tackled all wrong this entire time.