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Finally spoke to girlfriend, here's what she said. Now what?


allday28

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Ok, so for those of you who frequent this forum, I'm the guy whose girlfriend wouldn't respond to me after an argument. Well, I finally got her to speak to me over instant messenger. We had a constructive conversation, I admitted my wrongdoings, and this was her final words:

 

i think this will be the last time we talk for a while...you clearly cant handle a girlfriend and the bar exam so focus on that and maybe, if in the next few weeks i find it in my heart to forgive you..i'll give you a call

i gotta go..

take care and good luck to you

 

Valentine's Day is coming up, do I even bother giving her the gift I got her? I'm not sure how to interpret this. She's the type of person who gets extremely angry at times. I'm thinking that's where she's at.

 

Not sure how to approach this. My gut tells me to just move on. What do you think?

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She just broke it off with you dude, so no, don't go giving the gift. I would suggest getting on with the bar exam as she suggested and then drop her a line in a couple of weeks to say hello.

 

Don't push it though, as you'll just push her away further. She might get over her issues in time, but time is the operative word.

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Go into no contact. Ignore her, focus on your bar exam. Definitely do not give her a gift for valentines day, it will only make her think you're needy and push her further away.

 

If you stay in no-contact, maybe she'll realise what she's missing, but I wouldn't bet on it. Hope you pass, and everything works out for you

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She is playing games with you and she wants to be in control of things. I bet she would have the shock of her life if you were to end it and she would be begging you back. I would ignore her. Let her know that you will not put up with this behaviour and only talk to her when she has some sort of apology.

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Go with your gut and move on. This is a pretty selfish thing for her to do- cause drama before your exams!!! Just focus on the bar and go into NC. I agree with shoefairy, ignore her and just worry about yourself for now. Don't talk to her unless she apologizes for her crazy behavior.

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oh lord ...she'll ''find it in her heart to forgive you'' ... come on. Bit over board. I read your other thread and cant see how it was that bad.

 

She obviously doesn't want to try to mend things. she doesn't care enough. Move on.

 

She isn't worth it. You shouldn't have to chase someone that much to say sorry.

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based on your previous post:

 

In the past I've gotten her to talk about about 12 hours, but it was after me hounding her to do so. She told me that in the future I should just leave her be until she's ready.

 

So maybe leave her alone. And focus on your bar exam. There are people who don't leave someone because the person is sick, unhappy, has an important test, etc, and then they never leave, and just get unhappier. It is better that she left now than later if she was miserable.

 

3 days ago we got into an argument when we were both drunk. I will admit to being quite a bit more drunk than her. It was about how I am more interested in my guy friends than her when we're all together, which she has brought up before. I'm not sure on all of the details, because I was drunk enough not to remember exactly what was said, but I do know that I ended up really offending her when her protective brother was brought up, and I said if he ever tried to do anything to me I'd kick his a$$. Definitely not cool on my part.

 

So...you don't know what you said? So how can we judge how bad it was. Personally, I have a few lines that are dealbreakers to cross. Perhaps you said something to that effect. Getting drunk to the point of not remembering what you are saying isn't exactly showing you are balancing everything well.

 

If she brought up the thing about the friends - it is something that should have been addressed. We can't pretend to know if she merely didn't want to share you or you are the type to "show off" in front of buddies. My ex did that - not only would be fail to introduce me to people in a group setting, but he forgot that he came with me and almost left me there several times and made comments at my expense and about our sex life to his friends in front of me that were just not cool. He was trying to impress them, etc, and I felt very small. Anyway, its in the past... But just to say that there is more than one option her - you being the saint and her being the shrew is not the only possibility. It takes two to tango.

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You said something while drunk that deeply offended her. It's over. I've been in her shoes and I don't need that in my life. Because this has been done to me a few times, I won't date even a social drinker anymore. It's much better that way. By the way, my bf is an attorney. The Bar Exam is TOUGH! Stay sober if you want to pass it and be an effective attorney. Good luck, though. Law School is tough and I really do wish you well in the future. Just stop the drinking.

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If she would have left out the "find it in her heart to forgive you" bit, I would have just focused on your exam and given her space, but the fact that she threw in that sarcastic, domineering jab in there shows she's playing games and being a jerk. Forget her.
I agree with this post - it was a very arrogant remark.
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If she would have left out the "find it in her heart to forgive you" bit, I would have just focused on your exam and given her space, but the fact that she threw in that sarcastic, domineering jab in there shows she's playing games and being a jerk. Forget her.

 

You know what - things never come accross that hot on text messages. Who knows if she meant it as sarcastic or not. To me, she does have to find it in her heart to forgive you if you mentioned beating up her brother or whatever worse thing you said...but don't stick around in order for her to find it because she just may not.

 

Just really examine your part in this and grow from it. If you have a very loose lip when you are drunk, well maybe you should "just say no" or stop at one drink and nurse a soda the rest of the night when you are out. The answer is not to have the attitude that if people can't take the heat, they have to get out of the kitchen but to control your half of it.

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