Starting to HATE my life...

[HellFrost666]

I found out less then an hour ago, that I've been denied unemployment.

 

Denied unemployment for losing a job I loved, but lost because I didn't dress like everyone else and behave like a carbon copied cookie cutter. But on paper that's not what it says... It says I was a bad worker. But, my boss has ran his mouth about the real reason I was fired. It had nothing to do with the quality of my work.

 

I work a part time temp job for a boss who hates me and humiliates me every time he gets the chance.

 

I want to move back home, to Oslo... My girlfriend is willing to move with me. But my Mom and sister disowned me, so we have no one to stay with until we find jobs there.

 

I've applied for between 40 and 50 jobs since mid November when I got fired. Nothing. I've had two corporate jobs, and been fired from both. So, I've tried, lately to apply for non corporate jobs, since the corporate world is obviously not where I belong. All these non corporate jobs tell me I am over qualified.

 

I have no idea how my share of the rent will get paid this month.

 

And I've been sick since early November.

 

Things aren't getting better.

 

My girlfriend's Mom blames me for everything that has gone wrong in her life since (pretty much) the day I met her.

 

I used to get some relief from these feeling during band practice... But my band is on a temporary (maybe permanent) hiatus. Everything important to me is just dissolving little by little.

 

I wonder when my girlfriend will leave me.

 

Right now I feel such an urge to be destructive. I don't mean to be melodramatic... I am 100% serious. If there was more booze in this house, I would be drinking. If there were cigarettes in this house I would be chain smoking right now. (My roommate quit smoking this week, otherwise believe me, I'd be smoking like a chimney.)

 

I've never been a cutter, but I am intrigued right now, with the idea of cutting myself. I feel the urge to draw blood. If I am going to do it, it can only be my own. I just want to hurt something.

[annie24]

holy smokes! i am so sorry. did they say why they denied you unemployment?

 

do you have friends you can stay with in oslo until you get your feet on the ground?

[renaissancewoman101]

HF, I am sorry to hear about this.

 

Could you try and appeal the UI denial. Sometimes, if you appeal it and have good reason, they will grant it to you.

 

Like Annie said, if you want to move back to Oslo, do you have any friends you can "crash" with until you guys get on your feet?

 

I do wish you well.

[jengh]

God, I'm sorry. Sigh. It always works like this doesn't it? It's never just one thing, always 97 different things going wrong at once that results in the urge to fling yourself into traffic.

 

Definitely appeal the unemployment denial. That's crap you didn't get it.

 

I guess just try to solve all of these downfalls one at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and pull your hair out.

[HellFrost666]

holy smokes! i am so sorry. did they say why they denied you unemployment?

 

do you have friends you can stay with in oslo until you get your feet on the ground?

 

It's written in corporate BS speak... but from what I gather, it's because my employer gave me adequate warnings that I was going to be fired. Yes, they kept putting me on probation, and taking me off probation, then waiting a week or two and putting me back on probation. Clearly they knew exactly what they were doing when they decided to play that mind game.

 

And the unemployment office doesn't know it was all because of office politics that I got fired. Hell, I didn't even know that until a few days ago when my idiot ex boss decided to run his mouth drunk at the bar!

 

I don't know if there's anyone I can stay with in Oslo...

[HellFrost666]

HF, I am sorry to hear about this.

 

Could you try and appeal the UI denial. Sometimes, if you appeal it and have good reason, they will grant it to you.

 

Like Annie said, if you want to move back to Oslo, do you have any friends you can "crash" with until you guys get on your feet?

 

I do wish you well.

 

It's not just being denied unemployment... it's everything.

 

I don't even want to fight it. It semms pointless. THey denied it once, they'll just deny it again.

[Capricorn3]

it's because my employer gave me adequate warnings that I was going to be fired. Yes, they kept putting me on probation, and taking me off probation, then waiting a week or two and putting me back on probation..

What were you repeatedly being warned about?

[HellFrost666]

God, I'm sorry. Sigh. It always works like this doesn't it? It's never just one thing, always 97 different things going wrong at once that results in the urge to fling yourself into traffic.

 

Definitely appeal the unemployment denial. That's crap you didn't get it.

 

I guess just try to solve all of these downfalls one at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and pull your hair out.

 

I know a lot of people who've lost jobs recently. They've all been denied unemployment. Kind of makes me wonder what's the point of it even existing.

 

Solving all these problems one at a time is so hard... because so many of them are linked. Like, for example... I've been sick all this time. But I can't go to the doctor and get this checked out, because I have no insurance and no money.

[jengh]

I know a lot of people who've lost jobs recently. They've all been denied unemployment. Kind of makes me wonder what's the point of it even existing.

 

Solving all these problems one at a time is so hard... because so many of them are linked. Like, for example... I've been sick all this time. But I can't go to the doctor and get this checked out, because I have no insurance and no money.

 

Surely there must be a free clinic somewhere? I've gone to the one here several times. Most cities have them. Even my tiny hometown has a free clinic NIGHT, where doctors volunteer their time.

[HellFrost666]

What were you repeatedly being warned about?

 

I was being warned about the speed/quality of my work. But it all was futile... My ex boss got drunk at a bar and told my girlfriend (who works at the bar) why they really fired me. It was because I didn't dress like everyone else, and because I didn't attend all the office social events and stuff.

[HellFrost666]

Surely there must be a free clinic somewhere? I've gone to the one here several times. Most cities have them. Even my tiny hometown has a free clinic NIGHT, where doctors volunteer their time.

 

Already been there. I don't qualify for any help from them. Even though I downplayed the household income, we are still too rich.

[jengh]

Already been there. I don't qualify for any help from them. Even though I downplayed the household income, we are still too rich.

 

Seriously? Ughhhhhhh. What the hell do people expect you to do? You have no job, therefore no money... how does that make one too rich?

[tiredofvampires]

Oh man, I am so, so sorry!! What an abomination!!

 

I wonder if you can appeal on the basis that you were being put on and off probation like a light switch. Because it seems to me that if you are warned about being fired repeatedly, as he has claimed, that would result in a probation that is NOT lifted. Once probation is lifted, that would be evidence that you've complied with/met work expectations. So that on-off crap might be something in your favor, in the appeal.

 

I also wonder if this is something you can put as a question to a lawyer in Small Claims Court. I don't know if they handle UI issues, but they do handle financial disputes on this scale.

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this...what about the non-corporate job market? Any leads that you can possibly get aggressive with for the time being? (Like the kind you had before this job?)

 

Try not to let this spin out even more, it'll only make you feel uneccesarily worse...your gf is NOT going to leave you.

 

And anytime I've done anything destructive when I felt hopeless, I've woken up in the morning thinking, "That just made things worse, great." So definitely just let these things be impulses that don't go any further.

[HellFrost666]

Seriously? Ughhhhhhh. What the hell do people expect you to do? You have no job, therefore no money... how does that make one too rich?

 

I live with my girlfriend and my roommate. I didn't even give them my roommate's income. Honestly I didn't even tell them I had a roommate. My girlfriend's income alone was enough to put us over the limit. She works two jobs. They are both part time. I guess I shouldn't have reported them both...

[HellFrost666]

I've actually applied for more non corporate jobs then corporate... The ones who actually do get back to me tell me I am over qualified.

 

I know it seems unrealistic that she would leave me. But, a year ago it seemed unrealistic that my Mom/Sister would disown me, that my band would be close to breaking up, and even that I would lose my job seemed unrealistic.

 

So, nothing would surprise me at this point. I am just wondering when I'll walk into the bedroom and find her packing.

 

My life is in this house. Aside from applying for jobs, I rarely go anywhere. Maybe I am just thinking too much because I am not keeping busy enough...

[tiredofvampires]

I think right now, you should just try to center yourself by reminding yourself that you've always been resourceful, and that you've gotten through a lot of scrapes. So you'll get through this, too.

 

None of this is your fault. And anyone who knows you can see that. Especially your gf.

 

I have to wonder what the hell would be the point of your boss firing an employee over such trivial things, as opposed to just flat out telling you to change your attire/get-up. How the company would benefit from that, when they spent money to train you, etc., is beyond me.

 

And yeah, definitely try to keep busy...volunteer work really fills the bill in times like this. It'll help you feel more useful and distracted until something develops on the job front.

[HellFrost666]

I think right now, you should just try to center yourself by reminding yourself that you've always been resourceful, and that you've gotten through a lot of scrapes. So you'll get through this, too.

 

None of this is your fault. And anyone who knows you can see that. Especially your gf.

 

I have to wonder what the hell would be the point of your boss firing an employee over such trivial things, as opposed to just flat out telling you to change your attire/get-up. How the company would benefit from that, when they spent money to train you, etc., is beyond me.

 

And yeah, definitely try to keep busy...volunteer work really fills the bill in times like this. It'll help you feel more useful and distracted until something develops on the job front.

 

He told my girlfriend that day at the bar that he had to get rid of someone. He said he felt bad, because I was a good worker, and that he was "just following orders." There's a whole thread about that somewhere in the recent passed.

 

The volunteer work I've been doing is helping... But in all honesty, in my current state of mind I wonder when I'll screw that up too.

[tiredofvampires]

He told my girlfriend that day at the bar that he had to get rid of someone. He said he felt bad, because I was a good worker, and that he was "just following orders." There's a whole thread about that somewhere in the recent passed.

 

So I'm not clear....who was the one who fired you on the basis of your looks/social habits at the company?

 

I thought you were angry at your boss (the one at the bar) from the tone of your OP, but it sounds like it wasn't his decision and so he had his hands tied?

[HellFrost666]

So I'm not clear....who was the one who fired you on the basis of your looks/social habits at the company?

 

I thought you were angry at your boss (the one at the bar) from the tone of your OP, but it sounds like it wasn't his decision and so he had his hands tied?

 

My boss at my old job was the guy who sat at the bar and told my girlfriend all this, after he fired me. It kind of was his decision, and kind of was't. I guess upper management told him to get rid of someone. He decided to get rid of me based on social stuff, etc.

 

I know it's confusing...

[Miss Firecracker]

I am so sorry. Hope you will soon find some sort of work to hold you over awhile. This is scary for anyone to go through, HellFrost. I know that. Hope you can somehow reconcile with your mom and sister, since family is very important in times of crisis.

[Ellie2006]

So sorry to hear of your troubles, HF I'm at a loss for words right now...

 

I understand that things are probably tense right now but would you consider talking about all of this with your gf? In times of difficulties, it seems like people tend to build walls, rather than communicate more with their loved ones...

 

Also, would you consider reaching out to your family once again? In light of recent circumstances, maybe they'll be more ready to help you with your move back home, should you wish to move to Oslo.

[HellFrost666]

So sorry to hear of your troubles, HF I'm at a loss for words right now...

 

I understand that things are probably tense right now but would you consider talking about all of this with your gf? In times of difficulties, it seems like people tend to build walls, rather than communicate more with their loved ones...

 

Also, would you consider reaching out to your family once again? In light of recent circumstances, maybe they'll be more ready to help you with your move back home, should you wish to move to Oslo.

 

I talk about this with her... but not that much. I don't want to drag her down with me. During the time when she's home and we are together I don't want to waste our time being depressed. So when I am with her I try to focus on positive things. She works two jobs, so we don't see a lot of each other.

 

But, maybe you are right... maybe I should be talking to her more.

 

Eventually I am going to get tired of contacting my Mom and sister and being ignored... I am honestly surprised they've kept this going this long. It seems so infantile.

[HellFrost666]

I am so sorry. Hope you will soon find some sort of work to hold you over awhile. This is scary for anyone to go through, HellFrost. I know that. Hope you can somehow reconcile with your mom and sister, since family is very important in times of crisis.

 

There are two warehouse jobs in the newspaper today that I am applying for. I know thinking this way is bad, but I doubt either one of them will hire me. Places like that always say I am over qualified.

[itsallgrand]

I wish I could help more than a little bit of online support. You have a special spot with me ever since you helped me through one of the worst periods in my life which brought me to this place.

 

I'm so sorry everything is piling up on you one on top of the other. What about your friends? Can you find some comfort there while things get figured out? And your girl, of course - you two have been with each other through a lot of thick and thin now, I can't imagine her ever leaving you over some things you can't really control.

 

take care.

[tiredofvampires]

I've had a little look back at a past thread of yours...

 

What about that liquor store job?