Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sputnik123]

I'm sorry 11..

 

I know the pain well.

 

Sending you strength.

[11moreweeks]

I'm sorry 11..

 

I know the pain well.

 

Sending you strength.

 

Thanks, Sputnik. :) I finally read your story as well - yeah, it seems you do know the pain well. I'll be sure to not see any pictures or etc of her, though it's helpful that she didn't use social media much at all.

 

To ex: Your breadcrumbs are losing their potency. I've gone fishing enough times to recognize when there's a hook attached to the bait.

[Mike5]

How could you have done what you did?

 

Eight years together and I gave you my all. You told me from the start you wanted to move home to NZ. I signed up for that, put my heart and soul into it. And then one morning you tell me it's over and flee.

 

I am left in dust and ashes, aged 41. With nothing. Having to sleep on friends' floors while you carry on with what was our life.

 

And you're so heartless - nearly two months later nothing off you. Once I challenged you, you blamed me for everything and pulled down the shutters.

 

I know what I did wrong and where I let you down, but you, no, not an ounce of culpability for the choices that made our life together harder than it needed to be.

 

You head off into the sunset and leave me to die by the side of the road, after I supported you through thick and thin. HOW could you do this without talking to me first? HOW?

[wgmitch]

How could you have done what you did?

 

Eight years together and I gave you my all. You told me from the start you wanted to move home to NZ. I signed up for that, put my heart and soul into it. And then one morning you tell me it's over and flee.

 

I am left in dust and ashes, aged 41. With nothing. Having to sleep on friends' floors while you carry on with what was our life.

 

And you're so heartless - nearly two months later nothing off you. Once I challenged you, you blamed me for everything and pulled down the shutters.

 

I know what I did wrong and where I let you down, but you, no, not an ounce of culpability for the choices that made our life together harder than it needed to be.

 

You head off into the sunset and leave me to die by the side of the road, after I supported you through thick and thin. HOW could you do this without talking to me first? HOW?

 

Mike,

 

We are here with you, this whole community. Eight years is a long time and it's going to take all you can muster to get through this, but you will get through it.

 

One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time, you will get through. Life will be good again and life will be better.

 

Don't hesitate to reach out via PM if you want to chat.

 

Mitch

[Mike5]

Mitch, thank you so much. I may well take up your PM offer at some point. I've read your other posts and you seem to know how it is with these scenarios.

 

Thanks again, man.

[Kev0s1983]

Feeling dangerously like I am feeling quite healed from this. Enough to pen an apology and almost convince myself it is devoid of motives to do anything other than express regret for my behaviour and say I am sorry.

 

*almost*

 

Having this NC has been absolutely beneficial. Needs to continue and I am quite sure you dont think I am a monster. A guy with an addiction hes working on kicking but not a monster.

 

I do miss you, thats ok with me though. A natural reaction.

 

Do want you to be happy and wish you well.

[Scotty123]

I'm not happy with the way you treated me. I offered you so much and had so much more to give. But you decided not to accept what I had to offer. You decided to keep me at arms length. You decided not to let me into your life. You were incapable of accepting love.

But I'm the one who feels like crap. I'm the one who has yet another failed relationship. I'm the one that is another year older and has spent another year in a relationship that isn't what i want it to be.

And yet again I just want to give up. I want to just throw in the towel !! And give up on relationships. They are too hard and I never seem to be able to find anyone right for me. I find plenty of the wrong people but never the right person.

I've had enough of it all. No more.

[melchevelle]

What do you want me to say? That I should’ve listened to you three years ago when you said don’t give your heart to undeserving s? I don’t know what you thought would happen when you told me your true feelings, obviously you didn’t think. It was easy. I was an easy target. I fell for it. You’re a selfish human being and at 43, you still have a lot of growing up to do. But you won’t. You’ll keep running away from your problems and blaming everyone else. You took advantage of me and took me for granted and then didn’t even have the god damn guts to end things so you made me do it.

 

To leave someone I truly love hurt more than anything, but I’d rather be lonely by myself than lonely in a relationship. Love is the greatest gift you can give to someone and you didn’t deserve me.

 

I know that you can love me when there’s no one left to blame, but by then it’ll be too late and you’ll have to live with that for the rest of your life.

 

I love you mouse. Godspeed

[11moreweeks]

I love you so much.. What we had was amazing. I know that you know it was, too.. I know that you know the problems, the lost feelings, and everything else were caused by the terrible living conditions.. Why did you give up now.. Why did you throw everything away.. Even if you wanted to reconcile, it would almost definitely fail.. You shattered everything.. you destroyed all the trust, security, and communication the relationship had.. It took 8 years and living in absolute hell to build that, yet you completely shattered it. You will never again find someone who loves you as much as I did. I will never again love someone, not even you, as much as I loved you.

 

I miss you.

[11moreweeks]

I love you so, so much.. All I ever wanted was to make you happy and give you the best relationship I could possibly give you... it was about to finally all be over... all the negative... all the pain.. all the insecurity, anxiety, fear.. all the stress, the lack of sleep, the health problems.. everything was about to finally end... and then you left me for someone else... ;[

 

I'm so sorry for everything, and I miss you so much.. I wish this never happened...

[maybejune]

I showed my love to you, I showed it tooo much even though I don't think it was wrong. But after I reassured you of my love, you chose neglect, avoidance, and accusation of my 'fault'. I didn't do anything wrong, except falling in love with you.

 

I miss us, I thought I miss you, but now I think I miss the idea of loving relationship, which you never fitted in.

[Mike5]

So you'll be indifferent to know that today I have to change floors again, after what you did to me.

 

Ironic that after your mania for travel destroyed us, I am now condemned to having to move all the time while you sit in the flat we were meant to be be in right now.

 

And then on Friday you send me a picture of the back garden. I know you don't think much about the consequences of your actions, but to send that photo to the guy whose life you blew up after 8 years? The guy who committed himself to your project.

 

You blow my head off and then you send me photos of what was meant to be our place.

 

Nice. Touching. Sensitive.

[Long Gone]

It's 4 months of NC.....yet I still think of you. I know it probably was never right....but I still hurt. I hurt at how you went quiet....made me know something was wrong but left me second guessing. The hurt I feel with how cold you were with me when we had our last conversation....'I thought the romantic feeling would come....but they haven't'...... how you introduced your little boy so soon, on our third date........the emotional connection that made.

 

Maybe you resent me for not staying friends, but how could I....things feel difficult now, but they would have been unbearable if we'd stayed friends.

 

Why in the week before you finished with me, did you send me a photo of you sporting your new hair cut? Why when I sent a selfie did you say 'I looked good'??

 

Some days are better than others, I keep busy and I don't really think of you. Others like today and you are in my thoughts a lot.... little things remind me. I know we were only seeing each other two and half months....but after my Dad's death.....you meant a lot to me as did your little boy.

 

I need to let you go..... and I don't know how...... but I know I have to.....

[YY2K]

You are so selfish.

You cheated on me but I took you back.

You sent nude pictures to other guys but I took you back.

But here I am. You broke up with me.

 

You kept saying that you do not believe in relationship anymore because what happens with your parents and your sister. Well I should say that to you.

 

When we first went out, I told you clearly that you should guard my heart. Because I have been hurt so many times. You told me that you are different. And here we are.

You kept telling me that all my exes were jerk. But guess what, have you looked at the mirror? You are the jerkiest of them all.

I hope in this time you realize that!

 

You said you want to move on. Really? How about me?

I tried to put you on the right track. I tried to overcompensate your smoking.

I always want to tell you that your smokig has become an addiction.

You call others pothead, well you are a pothead.

It is not cool at all.

You only have high school diploma. I told you to get better. Do you want to work retail for the rest of your life? I know you are complaining about it but what do you do to make yoursef better? I tried to find vocational school for you to get better. I know you know that. I always want the best from you.

But what do you do? You RATHER hang out with those people who dont even have future, smoke excessively, binge drink and so on. And when it is time for serious thing, you come back to me.

You are an @$$hole. Do you know that?

I don't wish you well. I hope you will find out soon or later that guys will use you out there. I don't wish you the best. You will learn your lesson. And when that happens, I an not going to be there. When you are 30 years old, complain about your retail job and only make $35K a year, I hope you remember what I tried to tell you.

Did you pothead friends of yours also listen to your incessant complain about works everyday? Do they? Just like how I listened to yours all the time and trying to be supportive? I was effing your biggest supporter, @$$hole.

I hope one day you reallize that I ONLY wanted the best for you. I was your only biggest supporter. I effing cared about your future. When you complained that you hated your job, I got on my 2 feet and tried to find solution for you.

 

You are a selfish . I know it now. Looking back, you are always a selfish .

I deserve somebody better than you, and you will see guys will use and abuse you. And when that happens, sorry sunshine, I won't there to help you.

 

I wish I never met you 6 years ago. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I wish I took that job in Califorinia. I wish you know how much sacrifice I do for you. And of course, you are just a selfish .

[YY2K]

Wow this is therapeutic :) And give me more insight into what really happened.

[11moreweeks]

I'm pretty annoyed by this influx if mutual contacts, honestly.. I had to ask someone else to not tell me anything about you. It feels like you're trying to get contact with me through mutuals -- I wish I could tell you to stop.

 

I don't need to know about the troubles you're having with your new thing.. That's exactly the hole you dug for yourself. When you throw away an 8-year dynamic and a truly special bond for another person, people almost always find that the relationship with the new person is not deep, has a weak foundation, and almost never lasts. Trouble in paradise, I guess.. the grass usually isn't greener when you don't like to water relationships. Maybe this explains all this weird behavior building up.

 

How little he seems to care about your emotions and your desires, goals, future, dreams, comfort, etc.. This is to be expected in a young relationship, and to be quite blunt, I don't think you will ever find someone who cared about you as much as I used to.

 

You dug this hole for yourself with a shovel made out of my teeth. Learn to love the soil. I don't need this drama and pain getting in the way of my classes and graduation, and I don't need to be reminded of all the true happiness we've lost.

[Mike5]

So I fell back asleep this morning and you were in my dream. "I need a hug" you said. I immediately woke up, the pain of it killing me.

 

Before I had dozed off again, I went through an anger cycle, damning you for kicking me to the kerb.

 

But getting angry is ultimately pointless and only deepens the inevitable sorrow I return to.

 

A few people have said to me you will repeat the same behaviour with any future men. One even said you may regret dumping me.

 

Maybe. But maybe it is all straw-clutching. Maybe you will feel very happy one day, heck maybe you are that way already.

[YY2K]

It is so painful.

Do you even regret what you did? Do you regret hurting me?

Why do you have to listen to your pothead friend f yours? An immature , who only works in retail and wants to be a model? Really? Instead of trying to get better in life, just waiting until the agency calls him? He is 23 y/o for pete sake. His time passed.

I was the one who push you to do better. I was the one who wanted you to succeed. Yet, you cut me off and listened to him.

I only have so much anger to you. I don't mean you well.

I just hope something bad happens to you than you will find out who your real friends are.

[YY2K]

I hope you get an accident while binge drinking.

I hope you get arrested while you were smoking pot.

I hope you will not find a new job and despise your retail job forever.

[YY2K]

I'm pretty annoyed by this influx if mutual contacts, honestly.. I had to ask someone else to not tell me anything about you. It feels like you're trying to get contact with me through mutuals -- I wish I could tell you to stop.

 

I don't need to know about the troubles you're having with your new thing.. That's exactly the hole you dug for yourself. When you throw away an 8-year dynamic and a truly special bond for another person, people almost always find that the relationship with the new person is not deep, has a weak foundation, and almost never lasts. Trouble in paradise, I guess.. the grass usually isn't greener when you don't like to water relationships. Maybe this explains all this weird behavior building up.

 

How little he seems to care about your emotions and your desires, goals, future, dreams, comfort, etc.. This is to be expected in a young relationship, and to be quite blunt, I don't think you will ever find someone who cared about you as much as I used to.

 

You dug this hole for yourself with a shovel made out of my teeth. Learn to love the soil. I don't need this drama and pain getting in the way of my classes and graduation, and I don't need to be reminded of all the true happiness we've lost.

 

Good riddance to your ex. He/she is identical to my ex.

[Mike5]

Having a weak afternoon. Can't stop thinking of you and our life together. Us against the world.

 

Feel a desperate urge to communicate - to escape this hell of isolation and loneliness and hopelessness. But I must not, I must not. Would only look pathetic in your eyes.

 

Keep it together.

[trvppybvnes]

I hate you for doing this stupid to me. All the time and effort I put into us, into you, a whole year of my life, all that money, it was all a waste. You treated me like dirt and then left when I got depressed and decided to tell everyone it was because I treated you bad but in all actuality, i was the one who was treated bad. You never made me feel important or helped me with my problems, but I was ALWAYS there for you, even after you left me. All you do is talk about me honestly and that really hurts because you know all I ever did was love you unconditionally. No matter what you did to me or how bad you made me feel, I still treated you with love and respect. I remember how everyone used to tell me how they'd never seen you as happy as you were with me, but all you do is complain about how bad it was. I wish you could just own up to something for once and be honest with yourself instead of always blaming on other people so you can be the victim. I loved you in the most innocent way there is and you took advantage of that because you knew I'd never leave and you were right but you know what? I'm so much better without you. I can actually be happy now and not have someone breathing down my neck every time I try to do something. I realize now that I was never really in love with you, I only loved the person I thought you were but that person doesn't even exist. You'll never find someone who genuinely cared about you as much as I did and who will do the things I would've done or did do for you and when you realize that I hope it tears you apart because I'll never do those things again. You don't deserve them. I guess you're gonna leave my life the same way you came into it, which is being nothing more than just another hoe. I honestly despise you for all the you put me through and I hope your karma is a mean .

[csharpminor]

It would have hurt less if you told me I was completely meaningless. That ambiguous hope of meaning something to you is what killed me.

[Neruda20]

I didn't call you on your birthday (yesterday), because I want to respect your request to the upmost degree. I am giving you space to explore things with your new guy. I still thought of you, and I prayed that this next year would be your best yet.

[YY2K]

You cheated three different times my friend with different guys, and I took you back.

You have no future and I tolerate it and say, "Yeah I'll take care of you financially."

You made me wait and I waited patiently while treating me like a doormat.

I was the best thing ever happened to you.

I am loyal, understanding, work hard for the relationship, and care about you deeply. You will see it one day, you will.

And by then, it will be too late.