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Neruda20

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  1. We are both responsible for the demise of our relationship. I made you my idol. I became clingy, needy, and started smothering you out of fear of losing you. That was not fair to either of us. More importantly, I was not at a place where I could help you grow in the faith. More often than not, my love was misdirected and I pulled you down to appease my fleshy desires. I am so sorry for that and now I only wish I had honored and protected you better. I truly wish you had dated the man that I became in our time apart. Whether you want to admit it or not, you emotionally cheated. You chose to have heart-to-heart conversations with Thomas and to go to him when you wanted to talk about something at the expense of our relationship. You chose to feed your crush when you were talking to Thomas like he was your partner every day. I have forgiven you. I have moved on. I do hope you learn from this and are cautious with how you handle affective relationships going forward. When we broke up, I was absolutely devastated. You have to understand that I lost not just the person I was completely in love with, but the person who was my best friend in every single way. When you leave a relationship to almost immediately jump into another, I want you to understand the toll it takes on a person, both mentally and emotionally. The individual you left feels like they aren't good enough or were never good enough for your love. They feel as if they never had a chance, completely and utterly invisible to how much significance they serve in your life. No matter what they do to prove how much they care about you, it just never seems to be enough. Their value of self-worth becomes less and less as each day goes by, knowing that they were replaced and no longer your favorite person. But through the heartache comes strength and I have you to thank for that. Even though it was some of the most difficult times of my life, I learned the greatest lesson about myself, most importantly about my heart. When I tried to fight for you, I thought I was doing it to not only get you back but to save my heart from any more heartache. What I actually learned was how strong my heart became. I realized that it's so important to follow your heart, no matter where it may lead you.
  2. From my experwince, women dumpers do not experence regret or remorse. When they are done, they’re out completely. Once they begin moving on, it’s over for them.
  3. This. I know a couple who were destined for each other. But they had a horrible breakup and went 3.5 years without speaking before being reunited. If it is fate, time and space cannot change anything.
  4. My grandmother felt it was important to call me to tell me that Christina and Tarek El Moussa are back together. Took me a solid 10 minutes to figure out what in the world she was talking about.
  5. I have reconnected and became friends with all my exes but the most recent. While some were effortless transitions, others took years. Some have me over for dinner whenever I am in town; others have introduced me to their kids; and I have become friends with a few of their husbands in time as well. The most recent ex, I doubt I will ever hear from again. We dated for almost two years, were discussing marriage, etc. She fell out of love (though I believe emotional cheating played a big part) and broke up with me. She breadcrumbed me along for months until starting her new relationship, then cut me out entirely - blocking me on everything - when I confronted her about my suspicions on why the relationship ended. She has an avoidant attachment style so I do not hold my breath when it comes to hearing from her again.
  6. It’s been one year since I felt you pulling away and preparing to end our relationship. One year ago, you visited my family I. Atlanta, but you were so distant and disengaged. You spent more time texting “your friend” then getting to know my family. Somehow, he made his way into every conversation and when you spoke of him it was pure infatuation. One year ago I dropped you off at the airport, then sat inthe parking lot and cried knowing that was the last time you would willingly be with me. One year ago, you began breaking my heart only to leave me where I found you.
  7. I have an account. My first public school friend (Ben) and his on-again, off-again girlfriend throughout secondary school (Carol) had one of the most devastating breakups that I have ever heard of. There was begging, pleading, accusations, etc. at the end. By the time they were midway through college, they avoided each other at all costs. Two years ago, they married and recently welcomed their first child into the world. They are one of the happiest couples that I have ever seen. When I reached out to Carol not too long ago with my own story, she shared the following with me. Maybe it will help ease some of your anxiety or inspire some of you. Her words: "Let me tell you, if Ben and I can reconcile and make it work after all that happened, anyone can! I have hope for you! We were broke up for about 3.5 years before we got back together and got married. During the 3.5 year break, we only spoke a handful to times. We ended getting back together because of some intervention my sister. We were both too stubborn and my sister was the only one with any balls to make it happen. Don't give up hope!"
  8. I have dreamt of you for the last two nights. In the first one, you took me back to MLK weekend where you made me feel so small and insignificant. In the second one, you made me feel all the love that I believed we had. I’m tired of seeing you in my dreams - feeling everything you have ever made me feel - only to awaken to a reality that you chose for the both of us.
  9. I really miss you tonight. Despite my best efforts, I can’t stop loving you.
  10. Perhaps. The last year of my life has taught me to expect nothing from other people. Took me 30 years to finally fall in love with someone, and I don’t see that happening again anytime soon. Low expectations are best.
  11. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out the best strategy to re-attract my ex. From reading forums here and elsewhere to watching Craig Kenneth, The Love Chat, the Dating Guy, and Corey Wayne on YouTube. I’ve paid for coaching with some of them, even (contradictory advice all the way around). I have bargained with God and prayed in earnest like no other time in my life. Like many of you, I would give anything to have my ex back. However, the best thing we can do is accept that they aren’t coming back. It’s over. The next chapter may be lonely, but it’s entirely yours to write. I truly hope that each of you are able to find the solace that you seek and maybe even love at some point. And who knows, your ex may eventually come back after you accept it’s over as some here have testified, regardless the sooner you embrace the the mentality that it’s done the more pleasantly surprised you can be if fate brings your ex back into your life.
  12. Because we rarely forget about our first true loves and wonder about them.
  13. Yes; the pain hasn’t subsided much if at all. I still dream of her most nights; still wake hoping to see a text from her; etc. Perhaps it’s because she was my first love or maybe despite my best efforts to crush all hope and tell myself she isn’t coming back, something in me refuses to move on. Honestly, I’m not sure if I will bounce back from this one.
  14. I am angry at her, bitter at women (irrational and unjust as it may be), jaded with life. Roughly this time last year began the crumbling of everything I built over the last decade. I agree, there is a lot to see and do. Doesn't change the fact that I see the world less kindly than I once did.
  15. I am starting to accept that my ex isn't going to return. This whole process has made me bitter and jaded. If you were dumped, how did you successfully put aside bitterness?
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