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[sunshine34]

this weekend has been kind of brutal.. with the rain it almost feels like a sign of sadness and heartbreak. I'm exhausted from dating, i feel hopeless , like no one will have love the way we did. I've taken a huge break from doing most things, yet trying to stay distracted. I had accepted it was over and you didn't care, but seeing it play out is another thing entirely. I guess there was a part of me that thought it would just take a little longer for things to set in for you..since i kept breaking nc and giving you that validation that I still had feelings, that it would take longer for the hearbreak to set in and for you to reach out or miss me..i guess I was wrong, it's been over 5 weeks now and still radio silence.. I am just like Katie to you now.I think back to when we first met, to when I used to think I could see the hatred and feeling in your eyes about her, how I knew you never let go.. I guess someone else will see that memory of me in your eyes, and I will become insignificant too. I thought we were different, I thought you had grown up. Your pride is so much more important to you than the feelings for me. Youd rather bury them deep, never say my name again and keep your pride then have love.. You always chose that over me. I guess I should be happy, happy I don't have a half lover. Because you didnt love me the way you said you did. It was all a fantasy and a lie. You forgot me the moment I left, meaning I was never in your heart. I just wish I could escape the memories, it's likea slow motion movie in my head and my heart is so shut off because of it. Because it's the only movie I want to see and the only one I can't reach, it's toxic but it's all I have. It's all I'll ever have of you... aside from this box of stuff I can't bring myself to throw out. I have a camera roll of us I want to develop but can't bring myself to do it fo fear it will push me to contact you. you had all of me, on such a deep level, you saw me, you knew me, we were best friends.you were my other half and now if something bad happened to oyu I wouldn't even know. you've disappeared and you don't even care

[Coldarmy13]

I miss you and hope youre happy. I wish I could settle for friendship, but only because I truly miss hearing your voice and seeing your face.

[sunshine34]

This holiday is going to be difficult ... It's the one that ended my time in miami last year, our apartment together and our life. This year it represents my new single life hopefully finally reaching ca... Quite ironic that these changes happen around independence day. I miss u.. I remember watching the fireworks by the beach w u and my brother , breaking ur bullet cup bc it was screwed on so tightly. I was so depressed about life then , worse than I have ever been.. Yet you brought me joy. And I took you for granted , im sorry for that. At that time j blamed u for my depression bc it was easier, that was easier than fixing me. I thought moving away would solve me and it didn't. I got better, but I lost you. And even when I got worse w depression again, you were there again. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You were incredible to me and so faithful. I took that wayy too for granted, I see that now that I'm starting to get to know new men... It sucks. People suck. No one is you.. No one gives me chills or butterflies like I had w u. The ability to not only be around someone for hours at a time and not want to leave, but to literally crave more. I don't remember how that feels. People now give up so easily, oh your favorite color is brown and not blue, screw this I'm out and it always ends the same "good luck in your search". Like its a job interview, cold callous collected. You go through many many mini break ups each day with people you never were invested in anyways, sometimes it's you, sometimes it's them... Either way, each time I lose a little bit of hope that I'll ever find another you. Literally just like a needle in a haystack.. Not even kidding had a mini break up tonight with a guy I've barely spoken to about a news article... On mandatory vaccination. He works in finance, he knows nothing of immunology and I majored in it... He went on and on about how it's "taking Liberty" and if I didn't understand that we just weren't meant to be.. Mind you, all he did was send me the news article and ask me what I tjought, I gave my opinion and he went on a rant ending in that... I can understand why he's so much older than me , good looking and well off yet never married.. Psychotic. I didn't even bother to read his rant after the first text book page of na text , just skipped to the end.. The cold "best of luck in your search".. Even typing here imagining im talking to you makes me feel more of a connection than I've felt for anyone I've gotten to know .. That's sad. Yet somehow it's comforting to know I can still feel connection even if it's to someone who doesn't want to be in my life anymore. You and I had something truly special, and we screwed it up.. But at least no matter what happens, I can say I loved someone fully, in new ways I had not before and I grew from us. Doesn't change how much I frikin miss you, how I see you in my dreams and feel alone every day that passes and I check my inbox or my messages and calls and still... Nothing. Everything else is nothing. At least that's how it feels( and it's frightening , frightening to know even if I get my dreams, it will feel less because i ddont have you to share with. You really were my other half. If I could kiss you I would, and I wouldn't stop until we fell asleep holding each other like we used to. That's the screwed up part... It's not like we ended on one of our horrible parts, the last time I saw you, both of us had love and shared love... But I loved you more this time, and you not being able to be in it when I needed you made me need to walk. Bc being that in love with someone who didn't understand how much it hurt to be neglected.. I hate how you say u loved me the same if not more when you couldn't even take 5 mins from work to text me... When you couldn't actively think of me. It's proof that I wasn't anything to you, and I wish u didn't lie about it. I wish Ud fess up, then I'd have closure. But even in the end, u made it all about you and how you're so SAD I broke how with you... Seriously no self reflection, no ability to take responsibility or see why j had to go bc u kept mistreating me.. Such a good manipulator. U had me fooled for so long until I couldn't keep the rosy glasses on anymore. I couldn't keep taking the bull

[treesandbees]

I feel sick to my stomach as your text sits unread on my phone... I just can't look at it.

[ajhurst210]

Every day I want to pick up the phone and tell you off. Make you feel as ty and as low as I have to feel. Tell you all the things you did wrong and how you screwed up the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

It's disgusting that I still love you. I feel filthy.

[Hazyillusions]

I dreamt about you last night. It was so vivid and in it, I remember crying.

[chram]

I miss you so much... The past couple days have been rough, I was barely strong enough to stop myself from checking your social media. I feel nothing for these new "prospects" that are popping up, my heart is still with you even though I've been forcing myself to move on. Sure I've taken you off the pedestal, yet I still can't bring myself to resent you in the least bit, even though you gave up on "us" so easily. On top of everything I have to put up the "I'm okay" facade, and I'm tired of it. I want you back so bad, I still love you, it hurts when I can't do anything about it...

[hopelessincan]

Happy Canada Day. I'm in a weird place right now. I hate, hate, hate you so much. Yet here I am. Crying. I've been dragging myself out, trying as best as I can to keep busy and going through the motions..... I generally do ok till I get home.

 

What gets me going the worst is the compliments, the flirts, being asked for my number............Im so not ready for any of that garbage. I just want myself back. Hell I need to find myself. I wish I was whole when we met........ That makes me think of you more than anything. You set the standard ya know that?

 

I went out tonight to a new friends place. Had a great time. I left early. But still had fun. Got hit on and they asked for my number. Every one just disgusts me right now. I think I have a sign on my head that im vulnerable...and that's on you! lol But Im not stupid, I might be missing you but id rather be alone. I wish I'd hear from you like you promised.

 

I suspect youre in the same boat. But hey we are both stubborn eh. Funny thing is as much as I want to hear from you.............. I don't ever want to talk to you. I don't understand it myself. It sucks that no one will ever match up to you.

[Hazyillusions]

I'm scared that I may never truly get over you.

It's been 2 years and nearly one month now.

Fark.

[hopelessincan]

Hope you enjoy the weekend! lord knows how badly I was looking forward to it! Oh well Do you have a date? Or are you going solo? Im guessing solo... you've got lots of attention, but none that you really want... so have fun!

Or maybe you cancelled altogether....something tells me that's what you did...............that was dumb...

[MsFortune]

I'm am extremely hurt by what you have done. For you to leave without a single word and to have me worry that you could've been in the hospital or worse is evil. To disrespect my trust, to block my number out of nowhere, and to leave me on our date night after I had gotten dressed and made-up. I feel abandoned. I feel like nothing more than another girl you have thrown aside without even a goodbye. I cannot believe I am awake at almost 6am crying as I type this because my heart feels ripped away from someone I hardly knew.

 

Yes, I am an oddball. I thought you were too. I worry sometimes that I am too odd for someone to care about, and for you to crush my trust and have me believe that I was perfect for you is disheartening. I told you my past, told you my deepest secrets, and showed you a side of myself that I was scared to show anyone. But you rip my trust up like it was nothing. The lump in my throat hurts. Why did you do this? Can you not feel how cold the silence is? To find out you left me to immediately get back online dating? To find out my number is blocked after you never showed up for our date? I am NOT trash or someone who is worthless. I am a strong person who has a genuine personality, love, hobbies, and kindness I know will be repaid one day.

 

In the end I know you're just another bump in the road. But I am not a disposable fling. I was your girlfriend, remember? You're the one who asked me to be. To leave me without saying a word and block me from your life when I didn't do anything wrong tears my heart apart. I hope you get what is coming to you, because I had been nothing but kind and caring. Even when you had left me home crying on our date night, I still texted you the next day to make sure you hadn't been hurt or arrested instead of being angry towards you.

 

I will not lie and say I wish you'd at least call me or text me saying "Oh I am so sorry it's a misunderstanding!". But my eyes and ears did not lie to me like you did. I know the truth and know you will not ever contact me. My trust is gone. I don't know when I will trust again. And for now, I hate you for doing this. Goodbye.

[origami]

I looked awesome today

[Kris92]

Hey,

Thank you for being my friend now and listening to me expressing every hurt and pain you've caused me. It's starting to make me feel better and I honestly think that one day, we can be really good friends. Maybe not right now, I still really love you. You told me you want to know me more now and hoping our friendship can blossom. I just hope when you'll actually fall for me, I'm still there to catch you.

[NolaDarling80]

You gave up on us too quickly. You gave up on me too easily.

[AutumnBorn]

"Working?"

 

What kind of text is that? If you want to see me, you have to message me at least a few hours in advance. But, as I told you when I was in NC with T, there's no point in your attempting to stay in touch unless there's an issue with our children.

 

Sorry you and K. didn't work out, though. As I said before, you need either a wife or a decorator. At least she was some help with your decorating dilemma.

[LoveCapsule]

Found the first love letter you gave me for Valentine's day. I knew I shouldn't have opened the plastic capsule with the letter inside, but I miss you so much. I just wanted to reminisce a bit at 2am -- a moment of weakness. I haven't cried since the last time I saw you, and I thought I had no more tears to cry out. Last night proved me wrong. I cried almost as hard as the first time I broke down because I didn't want to lose you. I wish you knew how much pain you put me through, and you're actually growing the **** up. What's that about "many more V-day's to come" and "being there for you through the good times and the bad times"? Liar.

 

Hurry up and grow so you can show we have a future together.. even the possibility of one wouldn't be so bad, because even if I hate you right now for what you've put me through, I know you'll always hold a special place in my heart. You idiot.

[sunshine34]

I'm having flickers of you PPP into my head this weekend. I wanted to ask for you back today... I got sad knowing you've forgotten me and that I don't know what you're doing, I have no idea if I've been replaced or what is going on and I hope one day I'm okay not knowing, because now I am still in pain and checking my emails for messages you will never send . You're stubborn and it's stupid, you lost me bc work was more important and now you can't fight bc ur prides more important. Where did I stand on the list of priorities? 300?

[hopelessincan]

I caved again huh... I miss you so much. My life feels like a mess but all i can think about is you. And how i wasnt worth it to you to try. And how you chose to run when i needed you. I thought a few weeks ago that maybe we were going to be able to fix this. I was so excited to see you...but then your plans changed....its brought me back to square one. All i want is you. The silence is so deafening.

[sunshine34]

I'm not in a good place right now... The weekend was so nice, I felt special Friday went shopping and to a super beautiful venue for dinner. Had a long weekend, didn't sleep much but worked out and stayed fairly healthy. But my work life is so screwed up that im feeling actually depressed to go back and it's making me think of you which makes zero sense, probably unrelated and both are depressing feelings so it's all converging and making me a mess of emotions. Ca job keeps pushing me off and leading me on about when it will be finalized im getting so angry and I know that won't help anything but at the same time what am I supposed to do??? I hope by this week I'll know the truth.. Have a phone interview for something in miami tomorrow and that is just making me think of you all over the place. If I went back it would feel impossibke not to reach out to you... I hope I heal more and this is therapeutic for me. I need to remember how much of a heartless ass you were . How cold you were And how little I matter to you.. The most obvious fact is the one that can't sink in because you're words said he opposite. Despite logically knowing that just makes you a douche, im having a hard time beig okay w it all.. You not only let me go but you haven't reached out, so why should I? That's an obvious fact that you forgot me

[sunshine34]

I wish it was that easy for me to forget you and say this, I don't care. You die to me all do a sudden and everything we made, all the lines we crossed never happened. That's whT im in so much pain, bc u don't care about any of it.. All of my energy and time and feelings meant nothing.. They were wasted and it feels like it was a dream. I hate tou

[Robin2904]

Jesus Christ. I'm lying in bed unable to sleep for the most ridiculous reason ever. I'm so embarrassed so even write this here but I need to vent. I had a weird cry spell a few minutes ago...it's been SO long since I cried like that thinking of you. I think I'm mostly over you, or past you any way. I realize you're not a great person, I realize you treated me pretty badly over the years, even as a so called friend. I realize all those things. But yet I'm lying in bad...and I get w wiff of the T Shirt I'm wearing to bed...I just did laundry the other day and I used Tide. I should have known this would be a problem. The smell of Tide deterrent...it's SO SO SO silly but it reminds me of you. Being at your house, the smell of our clothes. The smell of YOU. It's literally like its years ago and I'm lying in your arms and I smell you. I haven't used Tide detergent in years and now I never ever will again. It's so frigfin INSANE how a smell can drive a memory so heavily that it can bring you back to a moment in time and Just make you lose your crap!

 

It's like the more I smell myself the more I think of you. This is crazy. And currently all my clothes smell like Tide. Screw this so hard! I can't believe the smell of a friggin laundry detergent just made me ball my eyes out!

[Hazyillusions]

Even after all this time, I still think about you and get sad.

Guess I wish you would've replied. Just been wondering how you were.

Yeah. I know.

I'm clearly a thing of the past.

Too bad for me, you're still somebody I haven't yet gotten over.

 

I love B. I really love him, and have for many months now but.

 

You're still there. In my thoughts. In my dreams.

I just wished I could get completely passed you.

[smilesformiles]

I think about you all the time. Problem is, I had valid and important reasons to leave you.

 

Why couldn't you treat me with love and respect? Why couldn't you let us build a life together? Why did I let you make me feel like I wasn't worth anything?

 

I look at our daughter, and I wish that you actually wanted to be a part of her life. But I don't think you care. You probably moved on the day that you were served with the protective order.

 

If only you knew how much a part of my life you still are, despite the hell that you put me through.

[InLimbo25]

The pain you feel from me saying no to being just friends does not compare to the pain you made me feel when you ended our relationship.

The fact that your two bffs are:

1. A guy who tried to kiss me twice while we were dating and smacked my butt several times

2. Someone who tried to get with your cousin, and because he didn’t, spread malicious rumours of her and your own brother. But yet you tolerate it and still hold him in high regards because you think he has power within the group.

 

You had the audacity to offer to wait until after my birthday to break up – just so you won’t come off as the bad guy. Even after the break up, you still wanted to give me a present – just to ease your guilty conscience.

Please do not include me in your lunch plans, stop offering me drives to work, and stop liking my pictures on social media. It is all very patronizing. Forget you ever knew me.

[treesandbees]

Why can't I just stop thinking and loving you. I feel I have to be dead to stop all of this