Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[quirky]

I am in such a big hole today, I looked at pictures of you and me, crying.. I miss you so much, I miss your company and our love. I really wonder when I will be able to love again. I am giving up now, I need the space. Tesyerday while talking to D about my songs I realised just how much you inspired me to be creative. I miss that too. And how passionate you were. I talked to L about how we have become a society of wimps and I felt alone because he didn't think so, whereas you would have been passionate with me. I miss you so much...your spirit, the comfort, that sense of home. I watched Before Midnight and thought of us. I miss our craziness too. Today I wish you loved me again. I wish I had that comfort back.

[waspp]

Obviously, I'm thinking about you again. I love being with you; you make me laugh and smile. You are incredibly intelligent and generous. Remember those debates we had? it was always intense full of worst teasing and ended up in cuddling- I love it! best moments ever!

You're such a gentleman, not allowing me to pay for you and even for me when we are together. How about those text messages?? We don't text that much; 1 or 2 is enough, because either: I'm not going to understand the humor of your texts or else you find my texts bit aggressive (which you, reading it loud made it aggressive! lol ) we are not meant to send SMS- is all I know.

 

The way you look at me in two different manners: dominant and sometimes lost!

 

Anyhow..I miss everything about you...But I need to heal, I need to grief....silly guy!

[einsteins_girl]

Wow, soon it'll have been 18 months. You have made an amazing commitment to not contacting me. Did I really matter so little to you?

[galaxygirl926]

Day 9 of NC, 1+ month after BU. I still wonder from time to time if you're already seeing someone, but I have a feeling if you are it's going to end the exact same way it did with me, that you'll realize that you weren't emotionally ready for a relationship. If you find someone you want to keep then good for you, I guess. I miss talking about my favorite things with you since you liked them too, but I know I'm not ready for you to be back in my life yet. I don't even know how much you care that I was hurt. Honestly you weren't that amazing. You treated me well, yes, but towards the end you started pushing me away and I didn't like the way you acted around your friends and thought you were way too particular about your things. And overly obsessed with your new car. I still have to remind myself that I WANTED to break up with you at one point because I could tell we were just not working together. I'm moving soon and learning how to be happy with what I've got. I know one day I'll find someone who you'll pale in comparison to. I'm positive I can do better.

[Loz333]

Ok so just as I had been debating whether to delete you on facebook, and debating whether or not to tell you about it, pictures of you and 'her' have started to surface. I feel so sick. Of course I knew this would happen. But how could you be going away with her already? Being so intimate and close on every level? You don't even know her. You only recently said that no one gets you like I do. Argh. Why did you ever say such things if you could just so easily throw everything away and replace me with some blonde bimbo you only just met? I don't know who you are any more. I'm actually surprised you haven't deleted me at this rate. Who knows, maybe you will if I don't delete you first. Oh man this is all so pathetic. I hate facebook. But without it, we would never have met. Oh wait... perhaps that would have been better if we never met?! I don't know anything any more.

 

I feel like I'm having a dissociative experience. I have had a dissociative disorder before as you know (years before you even met me), and this feels a lot like that. Surreal, unreal, disconnected, vacant, illogical, unreachable, distant, alien, detached... this list goes on. I just can't get my heart to compute what I'm seeing/reading. All my heart sees is that the person I love and who loved me is associating with someone else. And it makes no sense to my heart. It's like trying to tell someone that the sky isn't really blue! it's nonsensical.

 

Stupid me for a moment or two tried to decipher if there was real happiness in the photos. And yeah, you look happy, but not overly so. But that means absolutely nothing because I know you, and I know you never like to smile excessively in photos because you think you look like a chipmunk with really big cheeks!

 

So now I don't know what to do. I think I have to work up to deleting you from facebook. As hard as it is. But what makes is harder is that I'll have to delete your family and friends also. You really have it so easy you know. Yeah you have some of my family and friends on facebook, but you never spent any real time with them. You never lived with me in my country. You never made those bonds. You were never an uncle to my nephews as I was an aunty to yours (I love them so much). You have no idea of the heartbreak I have to deal with. You can just cruise along, safe in the knowledge that I'm all the way over here, and I can't bother you whilst you go about your fluffy new fling. It's sickening.

 

I know we went through a lot and the odds were stacked against us. But that doesn't negate the fact that we had so much good between us. So much love, care, laughter, fun, intimacy, connectedness, friendship, support.... I saw into your heart and you saw into mine. We knew each other back to front. Shared our deepest feelings, hurts, sadnesses, hopes and dreams. Yes there was problem areas. But honey I truly believe that given time, communication and trust in each other that those things were not deal breakers. And some other things were just unfortunate circumstances (long distance, little finances, my poor health). Right now you probably only think of me in the sense that I'm not as good as 'her'. And that kills me. But you are in la la land right now. Of course you would feel that way. Or you wouldn't be doing this.

 

Who knows, maybe you'll stay with this person. And if you were truly happy I would come to terms with that. But I don't think it's that simple. Perhaps one day you will realise your part in things with me. You will realise the things you did and didn't do that caused me to feel insecure about you at times. Right now, all you know is how much effort you put into the relationship. And you did make an effort. But you only see your efforts and my selfishness. Which is a little off-balance. We both made efforts. And we both were selfish. We both were insecure for our own reasons. I think you never trusted me in some ways. And it wasn't because of anything I had done or not done. But you seemed to refer to me as though I would hurt you like other women in your past have. I think that held you back from seeing me for who I was at times. I wasn't one of those girls. I wasn't your mother who abandoned your family. I was me. And I loved you.

[Sweetiepie346]

Why are you like this? Yes you hate me yes I acted like a nutter in your eyes. It seems petty to you but I am a mathematician, I have to solve things. I asked you weeks ago for my belongings and I can't keep going on at you over it anymore. Yes I was an I idiot before, but I am getting there now. I lost my virginity to you, you were my first proper boyfriend and I also went through a LOT of stress and agro to be with you, and I lost a lot of respect from people but I fought through it because I thought you were worth it, yet despite that im still selfish, you will never know how bad it was. Ive never been through this before, let alone get dumped by text a couple of hours before a major exam! I wonder what people commenting on your status about me would say to that? I "stalked" your friends because I was stalking you a couple of days after we broke up, yes that's what happens when you miss someone. Its minor, was I turning up on your doorstep?! For you, you were moved on within a matter of minutes but you have been through a lot more than me and you can't expect me to do the same. I think I am at the same stage as you were a few hours after, only now, 6 weeks later. Those exams were the biggest of my life. You haven't been through it so you wouldn't know. Please just let me end this now though. It's petty yes. But I don't want anything left to go on at you about. I will always love you, no matter what, as pathetic as that is. Because that is just who I am. I need to cut ties. Call me strange for this it's up to you. But any 18 year old girl with a heart and had been through the same as me would feel the same. People react to things in different ways. I guess I wanted you to feel the same hurt as I was feeling, I didn't find it fair that you were able to forget so fast.

[stepsinthesand]

Hello beloved. Have been missing you so much this weekend. My biggest wish, is that we could have been allowed more TIME together, at least a chance to see if things could have worked out? Why couldn't you have given me that? Why were you in such a hurry? Is she truly that much more special than me?? (The girl that was in a year long relationship just days before she got with you?).

God, I wish I could just be snuggled up with you right now, watching a movie. 'Just us', like you always said. They were the happiest days of my life. It absolutely kills me to think there won't be any more of those.

I will cry again tonight, I must have literally cried a million tears for you. Does that make you happy?

I love you, to the moon and back.

[IAmFCA]

Hey jackcash

 

I am not a trifle or a plaything. I am 1000x stronger and of better character than anyone you have ever had sex with, much less fallen in love with.

 

I am worth everything you've got.

 

I am going somewhere.

 

You are dead weight to me, a burr, a slug, a thousand open maws waiting to be fed with my pure vibe of positive emotion.

 

You would not argue with any of these statements.

 

Which only goes to prove... there is someone for everyone, and you are not the one for me.

 

Step off.

[IAmFCA]

Hey jackcash

 

I am not a trifle or a plaything. I am 1000x stronger and of better character than anyone you have ever had sex with, much less fallen in love with.

 

I am worth everything you've got.

 

I am going somewhere.

 

You are dead weight to me, a burr, a slug, a thousand open maws waiting to be fed with my pure vibe of positive emotion.

 

You would not argue with any of these statements.

 

Which only goes to prove... there is someone for everyone, and you are not the one for me.

 

Step off.

 

PS, yes, thats me, burning up the track. Too bad, so sad.

[Doc Blaze]

why do u come back into my life..and then act cold..lol seriously dont contact me like i told u before..your not even a good friend..but keep trying to blame me...enjoy your life

[kz91]

I don't love you anymore.

[IAmFCA]

Dear Meathead

 

I may, may, may one day write you something. Maybe I will come here to see what I would say.

 

1. is to revisit the idea that A deals with your moodiness is xchange for the gf title. A few ideas here

- many ppl will deal with it, if they are secure in your connection

- the moodiness is a sign of wanting to escape something? its been 5 or 6 years this way? there are a few changes in your life that line with the onset of the moodiness

- Do you want someone to talk it out with? it does not need to change, it is only that you are making life choices to accommodate it. Seems like you wouldnt want to put it in the middle like that and bend life around it.

 

2. Do you use your personal email on your resume? If so, you gotta change that or clean up your web presence. Protecting your freedom of speech on the web is a lesser value than respecting an employer's right to make a judgment based on limited information.

 

3. I have changed dramatically since you and I met, and since you and I met in earnest. I don't know what you know.

 

More later... gtg.

[IAmFCA]

a. then, I didn't know what I wanted. it began to form as I let you show me. now, I know.

b. then, I was less site about my personal dating philosophy. what about sex? what about others?

 

3.

[IAmFCA]

a. then, I didn't know what I wanted. it began to form as I let you show me. now, I know.

b. then, I was less site about my personal dating philosophy. what about sex? what about others?

 

3.

 

tout change, tout le meme. Et en ce case, ne change rien. simplement, le meme chose, pour une autre annee. il n'y as rien pour moi ici.

 

mais dans ma reve, tu dit You are tethered and put jewelry up to my neck. and I moved in like I was going to kiss you, told you tgat I am not tethered, you let me go, then. I backed up.

 

tout le meme chose...

[waspp]

Happy beerday to you! best wishes in your life!

[MajinGuu]

I just took a pen and my notebook, sat outside and wrote down a list of things I hate about you.

I was feeling angry but doing this made me feel a bit calmer, I have a lot of resentment for you but I still hope you're ok. You're at the gym right now, be careful with your rib.

[IAmFCA]

I have 3 fantasies about you

 

One is you discover you are truly in need of being with me, you clear your attachment to A, you deal with massive isolation, you begin to form a small number of connections and live in your now, and you present yourself to me

 

Two is you continue with A for another 3 to 5 years, until there are no excuses for not being together, and you break up under the pressure of not wanting to actually be in the same city. And now what do you do?

 

Three is you two get hitched. You feel trapped, limited, and fluctuate between happy and sad.

 

I do not have a fantasy that you stay with A and find happiness. I don't see it happening. But then, I would have thought N wasnt happy with his controlling woman either, but he solves it by working out of state. haha.

 

Well goodbye to you over and over.

[IAmFCA]

It occurs to me-- who exactly is the dumbasx here? YUes sure, he is . But what am I??

 

I mean, you have a gf of sorts but yiou cant envision yourlife without and you fantasize about being with me and think I am the most centered well grounded person you ave ever met?

 

I am sure she would love to know that.

 

What doies it mean to you that you think these things but still choose to stay in the relationship? Out of respect to her you should end it.

 

What would it mean for her, to have a man whose mind can wander in this way?

 

What does it mean that I know these things, and yet I still am stuck on you?

 

Just a trio of dumbaxxes. Kinda funny.

 

I am going to have a kick butt day. You are waking up lonely, with your boo done gone home and Monday starting and ain't you got no job yet?

 

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

[einsteins_girl]

Infatuation is so hilariously ridiculous when examined closely. In the early, early days of our relationship, when we first decided to be exclusive, you told me that you couldn't imagine meeting a girl more attractive, sweet, funny, interesting and intelligent than me. Seven and a half years later, I think it would be fair to say that I'm more attractive, sweet, funny, interesting and intelligent than I was when you first met me. Yet, now, you want nothing to do with me. It's hysterical, isn't it?

[IAmFCA]

Today, I got to work, I went to wander about, and I came back to find the mail had brought me... pictures of us at my client's holiday party! Oh joy!

 

I wrote you a long, unedited, freehand note. I packed everything up, pictures and two note cards of letter, and then my friend told me NO. So now that crap is home and I will shove it in a drawer.

 

I might send them anyway, I just want to get all of it done with. And send with them a letter, not long like my initial one, but short. Maybe use my posts here to make sure I capture what is necessary. Basically:

 

Dear B

 

(1) I accept you the way you are, I do, I tested it in myself, and it is true. (2) I have not been asked to be your friend, your lover, your anything. I am more an idea, a mirage, a placeholder. In that role, my talents are wasted. (3) I ran headlong into what presented to me as cognitive dissonance, but what I see as dissonant comes together for you. (4) I am the piece that doesn't fit. Your actions are where your truth is, your words are where your wishes are. They are idle wishes that can be blown off like a dandelion seed. I never should have gone out with you after NY so long ago, in fact I never should have gone out with you after I read of your NYE weekend together in NC on fb. There were many lessons I needed to learn, and I learned about you along the way. A fascinating ride.

 

Now, I am learning that none of this matters, I have eliminated most of the note I would send you, B.

 

I am grateful for much... I am grateful that I no longer look like those danm pictures. Nothing fits anymore. Its a new adventure. Ha! I am grateful to feel my momentum, because I also am letting you go, altogether. Letting go of your success, letting go of my fears on your behalf, learning to say "Hey, That's great that Ann could visit!" despite my concerns that you have sacrificed yourself to preserve the union. No relationship is that important nor can one survive on those terms. ANYWAY, I am trying to keep my mouth shut! Its your journey, that is the path you have chosen and it is your choice to make. I am learning, okay I am still only a D student, to keep my opinions to myself unless I am asked.

 

So, there you have it. The slow gradual silencing of Alex. And some pictures of you in a tux.

 

That's all I got babe.

 

-xx

[waspp]

I simply miss the memories I had with you. I don't really care what your doing right now. But those moments we shared together- being beside you making me laugh and teasing and seeing you turning red with your hot temper; just pushed me to teased you more! ...missing those times....then i guess, yeah, I love you.

 

But the trouble of loving you is: goodbye...

call me, text me to hang out with you..will you? OMG

 

p.s

im not in my normal self, needs medication.

[beaton]

Holy crap

I don't remember your number.

 

Thank god, because our friend just asked me if I'd told you anything about recent events in my life. I told her no, that we don't talk anymore. But it made me think of the space between us now. There was a time when you would have been the first person I called.

I still miss you sometimes, but it's been so long that I feel stupid for it. My life will go on. This year will bring bigger and better things, and hopefully by July 2014 you won't even be a blip on my radar.

[IAmFCA]

Ah heck I am glad I never wrote. whats the point?

 

Now I have a new thing, I have a new behavior I have never ever ever ever ever had before. Its weird. I have before said that I require sexual exclusivity, because I have always had it offered me. Now, I am being explicit. It is engendering respect among dating prospects, if not actually more dates and nights of wild passion like I used to have.

 

Still, I think its better. It would have saved me from you. Well, maybe not, I tried to stay away from you for 8 or 9 dates, maybe more, before we were naked. Wow, did you ever suck me in. Like two crazy people alone in the night, we were. I miss you. And I don't want you back. I am happy to have all of the nuttiness of you. But not the way you suck me in like soap suds down the bath drain. Absolutely exhilerating to be with you, and draining otherwise.

 

Those dang pics are in my drawer. Everyone tells me not to send them.

 

Writing about you is making me miss your face, your quiet company, your physical prowess. I gotta go.

 

I wonder, now that you utterly without me, what does it feel like to be in this city? You know what? I can see it: well, I couldn't get a job, so I had to move to [her city? your former city?] for work. Nice excuse. I don't suppose I will know when it happens anyhow.

[gotexans12]

I told myself not to check on your facebook, but I did it anyways. You look so happy with your friend. The friend that cause this whole thing. For a moment all I could feel was anger. You lied to me saying you needed time to move on. I found out from a friend that you actually was dating someone 2 weeks after we broke up. Who know it probably was even earlier than that. However, I promise to myself that I couldn't mad at you. I still love you. I'm happy that you are happy now even though it doesn't include me. Take care my friend.

[surfjon]

How dare you............

 

After 6 months broken up, 2 months of which I was strict NC, over you for the most part and moving on and dating again, how dare you contact me and ask back into my life only to once again be ambivalent and "unsure".

 

I ditched your crap again last night, it was hard as hell, but I want you to stay gone now, never contact me again......

 

When you regret your decision in a week, a month, a year......don't even consider contacting me, I am gone now.