thelastsong Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 It feels like someone has grabbed my heart and is squeezing tightly. More than I hate you, more than I'm mad at you, more than anything in the entire world, I miss you. Link to comment
Springs Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 You're welcome! You can PM me anytime. I think you need to keep in mind that this : "I was the initial dumper, just because of his refusal to compromise on a few issues that were important to me." Is an important piece of the puzzle in your story. Don't forget about the things you think are important in a relationship. Times like these, when your weak from heartbreak, make your judgement softer. You're right. It seems when I am alone with my thoughts I can't see what went wrong and the reasons for why I am here now are so unclear. Then talking to friends and coming here makes me open my eyes a bit and realise it wasn't all a bed of roses. And yes, Aleina I am not looking forward to christmas this year at all! Link to comment
thelastsong Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Is it just me or xmas adverts are just bleh and making things 10 times harder.... I agree. To me, Christmas is a thousand times more romantic than Valentine's Day. Listening to Christmas music, snuggling by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate, looking at the lights on a Christmas tree... It's a hard time to be single. Not looking forward to it. Link to comment
soybeans Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Just saw your sister's status about spending quality time with you tonight. More importantly saw your comment on it thanking her for putting up with you while you're so sad. I had to chuckle to myself, thinking I should "like" the comment. So many emotions today. I've had four guys from my past ask me out for sometime this week, I guess it has helped my self esteem but I don't even want to honestly. As wrong as it is, I'd rather be with you. Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Where do you find the motivation to start a new week when the weekend has been so crap. Everything is just so awful. Letting go of you, letting go of expectations...and what is left? If this was not meant to be, then what is? If life is now, then...I don't like it! Link to comment
Jane00 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 It feels terrible knowing that you probably won't ever contact me again. You probably see me as "just another one of your exes", as the woman you were with before you went back to her. I really, really dislike you. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I seriously wish you would have stayed out of my life!!!! I can't just be your friend like I think you want! Here it is over a year later and here I am hurt by you AGAIN! What a FOOL I am!! It's your turn to suffer damn it! Its your turn to pine for me, to see me happy with someone else, someone amazing and say 'Damn I let her slip away' it's pretty horrible but I want to find someone new JUST to hurt you! Is that wrong? Probably! Ugh! Link to comment
Esbe Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 you were the only girl strong enough to not act like a * * * * * and broke up with me shortly when you knew you were unhappy. That forced me to do what I always should have done. Taken space. i never realized those needy emotions and overbearing qualities were signs that i need my space, because my natural reaction was to obsess on the problem until i fixed it. but there was no problem, just me needed to find myself. ive never talked to someone for 8 hours straight only ending it to reluctantly go to sleep for work the first time i met them, alone, no romantic pressure. Its hard to believe there is someone else out there better for me. I know there are people better THAN you, but all i care about is who is the best for me. It drives me * * * * ing crazy not being able to talk about all the things ive been thinking and all the lessons i feel ive been learning. i talked to u about everything...since day one. now we say nothing to each other....nothing real, nothing human. I really hope when i stop do anything for you, and when i stop missing u so much, youll come back. and i really hope you wont wait until ive moved on. just please whatever you do if you ever loved me, be happy and live well. Find your passion, never let it go. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I wonder if you backed off of me because your interested in that girl- our mutual friend. This would probably suck 10 times worse then you dating some random girl after me like you did, if you two dated HER because I know her. And I actually like her. She's kind of my friend. Not a close friend, just knew her through mutual friends, hung out with her a few times in a group....but still. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of her. That you were going out and doing things with her....and not talking to me anymore. Is that why? You didn't even text me at all tonight even to say you couldn't talk to me. UGH. I bet that's it! I bet your interested in her.....I hate feeling like this. I feel crazy and out of control ALL OVER AGAIN! I want to get you out of my life again. I feel like a terrible person to just cut you out all over again....but I think I have to do what's best for me. My heart is breaking all over again Link to comment
thelastsong Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 It feels terrible knowing that you probably won't ever contact me again. You probably see me as "just another one of your exes", as the woman you were with before you went back to her. I really, really dislike you. Right there with you. Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Aw thank you ninja...that is really sweet of you and it made me smile. I understand all the advice people give, and I give to others...I know what I need to do I just can't seem to actually do it. He is my first love, and my first time and I am so deeply in love with him. I would have done anything for him, and I did...I moved away from all my family and friends cos I was so blind to think that one person could be all I need. I can't let go of him. But I guess I need to be sure that someday the cookies will be a distant memory and I'll move on to ice cream which will be much sweeter and more fulfilling Yay! I love ice cream Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Bay, As much as I can say left and right I'm over you, I have been wasting my life the past 3 weeks mourning for you. It's really sad. All the lost sleep. I can't even sleep. How do YOU sleep? Do you sleep good at night? Are you happier without me cuddling with you and supposedly ending up on your side or stealing the covers? Eventually I am going to have to not spend much time on these boards. Eventually I need to get my sleep back to normal. Eventually I HAVE to forget about you, my head hurts soooooooo bad. I'm getting all bloated and gross from staying up late and drinking juice and soda instead of sleeping. I could be focusing on working out a lot more if I was off line more often. I need to learn my lesson....about late nights, lack of sleep & no routine. That's one thing so addicting about our co-dependent relationship was you forced me to go to bed every night. Now, here I am 3 weeks later, lack of sleep, massive migraine and it's almost 3am... Last night I was up til 8:30am...and I've had to work two jobs! Anyway, I came on here to ask you this. I was in the shower and I was thinking how unhappy I always was WITH you. I was unhappiest the most when I was showering all by myself and feeling neglected by your cold demeanor. So that was alright. But then I got very upset. You did not just abandon me. You abandoned my little kid. You were the step dad they looked up to My kid ADORED you for the longest time. You were their BEST FRIEND. Do you remember trips with my kid to the zoo? Do you remember feeding the ducks together...you sat alone on the pic nic bench not really participating but I tried so hard to be good to you. I know for reals you are really sick, you cannot change, and no girl can stay with you forever. It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awful. Anyway, we got out a toy for my kiddo and when you couldn't get it to work you threw your red bull accross the parking lot in anger. The first year you were much nicer because you didn't have me in your clutches yet. I was not a sure thing. Do you remember coming to my apartment, setting up toys for my kid- playing together for hours? You would go to Toys R Us sometimes and you would bring my child a gift...and play with my kid...I say that cause I don't want to say boy or girl on here. But you would play with my kid and have so much fun Remember the hugs and kisses that you got? Remember the bubble baths Remember the spilled milk and juice on the floor or the messes little kids make Do you remember the picture my kid would draw you...me, and you and them...smiling, a family Remember how they would sometimes call you "dad" ? When I think about that I realize how serious this situation really is. You REALLY ARE abusive. You REALLY DID leave bruises on my body for 3 years out of the 4 You REALLY DID break EVERYTHING for almost the whole 4 years I REALLY DID give up everything for you and tried to let you have your way all the time I know your friends don't believe me, and you probably lie to them. But you REALLY DID rarely touch me during the 4 years You REALLY DID reject me the last year YOU REALLY ARE a womanizing pig... There is something wrong with you. I am really not sure what. You are battling inner demons though. Not sure where they come from. Your behavior is like a drug addict, it's sooooo WEIRD What normal person did the behaviors you did? I don't get it...I can't even put a finger on it! You are much much more than a sociopath. Maybe you are a psycho path as well. You don't take a vulnerable girl with a little child of 1 years old...pretend to take them in, pretend to be a family, pretend to take care of them and be a provider a father and a husband...and then abuse us...you are mentally ill but I am not really sure why. I know your mom was mean to you. So was mine. I know you got molested. I just don't know what else made you this way but it had to of been being molested I guess you are dealing with rage and anger and hatred and abuse. PLEASE do not get married to some poor girl again. Please esp DO NOT marry a girl with kids. Please...do not have kids. Get a vasectomy or something so you are sure to be childless. You will just be abusive. Cold and distant. Cold and distant. Cold cold cold and distant. I seem to be attracted to very dangerous, cruel men. So many men out there are so much better. What's wrong with ME. That's what made me break up with you. Not even so much the landing in the hospital as the cold/distant/ I got from you. I recognize that. I know that sign all too well having fallen victim to it a few times in my lifetime. That is the sign that a guy is done. He is done with you and no longer happy. Odd thing is, all my ex boyfriends- every single one- has mentioned regretting letting me go. One guy approached my parents about it recently. Another last year and also last year one of their moms came up to me hoping I was single cause their son was single and they wanting us back together again (yuck) Anyway. Why would you let someone like me go? I am just attracted to losers. You have what you have a lot because of luck. But even though you got successful you have self-destructed and now have nothing. Ha- as the country songs go- you've lost your house, your dog, your girl. You even lost your step child. You lost your things. And all because of you. A loser is obviously born and apparently can't change. I think weed destroyed your brain cells, perhaps that is what turned you into some kind of monster. Have fun removing my child's bed, dresser and the rest of the toys from their room. When you do I hope you remember you did not just break one heart. Link to comment
thelastsong Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 You know what? Screw you, screw her, and screw everyone. I have a satin robe and two smoking hot dresses I haven't worn yet, and I want to show them off for someone. I think I'll go salsa dancing with your friend. And if we hook up afterwards, so much the better. I hope he brags about it, and I hope you get jealous. All you ever wanted to do was watch TV. I'm not exactly a party animal, but I couldn't ever take you out. I think we went out three or four times in the entire time we were together, and you just pouted the whole time and made me leave early. You wouldn't even let me go out with my friends. Excuse me for wanting to have a little fun. I don't have to babysit you anymore, and I'm going to do what I want. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Thanks for dumping me. I can see now it was the best thing to happen to me in the 4 years I was with you. I won't ever tell you what I really think or feel though - I wouldn't give you the privilege of knowing "me". That's something I only allow to people I REALLY want in my life so I'll just act at being polite. Go for dinner and coffee with you??? You must be a friggin idiot if you think I would do that. No chance - save the dinner dates for your skanky hairdresser who you dumped me for. LOL, is your hair still falling out? Maybe you should changed hairdressers. Link to comment
Springs Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 It's so sick and twisted, but in a way I don't even want to let go of this pain, because then it's like letting you go. And I don't want to let you go. I wish I could take the hope away. I know only I can do that. But it would help if you flat out told me you don't want to be want me anymore, but I know you do want me, you just don't want the effort of compromising on a few things. If only you woke up and realised how much I will love you and care for you for all your days. I would be there through all the hard times and never leave your side. I would never let you down. But you let me down. You're not strong enough to sacrifice your own comfort and routine for the one who will love you more than you will ever know. Link to comment
soybeans Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I didn't want to seem immature by de-friending your friends, I could deal with just you. But now I'm seeing you comment on every status they post and it is bothering me. Saw you post on the girl who is supposedly your best friend. The one that caused my suspicions. Just have her. Really, you guys are meant for one another. You're both messed up and she seems to have no problem doing such nice and caring things for you all the time. Let her be your servant, I sure as hell don't want it anymore. Now I'm angry when I was having such a good day. It was the first thing I see when logging in, it just HAD to be at the top. Link to comment
Melting Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I hate you. Mmmhmm I know that feeling Link to comment
Melting Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I know that you think Im your friend, but your wrong. I only talk to you, cos I have too! Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 you have broken me - twice. 3 weeks ago you were living with me and now you dont want to give me "false hope". I hate you, you have ruined my life. Link to comment
Aleina2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 stop this? we were together 2.5 years, lived together for 1 year, you leave me and I call you the next 2 couple of days, then again once after a week and once again after 2 weeks. what is wrong with you? are you even human? u disgust me Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I don't know if I want to get you back any more, although it was the only thing I wanted the last 10 days. I have started eating and sleeping almost normally again, even managed to do some work. The hardest thing is when I wake up in the morning, alone, full of anxiety and my heart beating like crazy, and first thing to do is go to the bathroom and vomit. But I'll get through that... I am almost sure I don't want you back, at least I am not that desperate like at the beginning, started to think rationally. Why should I want someone back who left me all of a sudden because h decided he wants to be alone? Someone who couldn't find a good excuse or justify his decision and kept saying 'I love you, you are the most beautigul thing it happened in my life but I am leaving you"? Someone that the night before was sleeping in my arms and said he loved me and the next morning we had breakfast and decided to where to go on Christmas holidays and then at night he decides that he doesn't want me in his life any more? Yes you were right, I was the love of your life, the sweetest, prettiest, sexiest, most clever girl you've ever known. What are you then, if you leave a girl like this? Link to comment
Melting Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Feeling good today and yesterday, that is 2 days in a row. Starting to feel success within myself now... I knew I was strong, I just had to find it again and I am so happy I have. Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Keep your heads up Things get easier Always stay positive Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Here we go again huh? You tell me how much you love me, how beautiful and perfect I am. How you have never felt this way before, and wonder when it will all stop. Then this. I am not someone you can just ignore because you are angry. Never, ever ever have I let someone do this to me. Where did my strength go? I know. Its in your heart, can I please have it back? I didnt go to work today. Lol. Peeve you off? No doubt. Well I hate it and you know it. Doesnt matter now. I think im going to quit tomorrow. It was one thing to be miserable at work, but at least have you...now why should i be miserable all day and miserable without you? I will find something else. Hopefully of course before the money runs out. You could have been living here, but instead you choose to live in fear. Screw you. I was figuring you'd be living with me by christmas. I think you did too...but you'd rather run and hide then give it a chance. You cant live in fear of the past forever you know. As numb as I am right now, Im starting not to care. Meh whatever..maybe i will finish this later. I want to talk to you...but well its been two days so i should take a hint. good bye Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now