MelloweSooth Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I know that this was posted ages ago, but wow.. This sounds like my exact situation.. I hope that since this post, things have been on an uphill slope for you Link to comment
Helpmetoheal Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I wanted to go to you last night, it was difficult to stop myself, but I did. I know I will be seeing you on Sunday night. I have to really think about this and make sure I stay strong and handle myself properly. Honestly, all I really want to do is apologize to you and ensure you don't really think I am the psycho I heard you were calling me. I have done some pretty effed up stuff since the BU that I am not proud of, but I was hurt beyond hurt. Seemed like good ideas at the time, everything backfired. I just wanna get on it with things, move forward. Living in the past is killing my spirit. Maybe one day you will see me better than this and who knows what could be in store for us. Is it wrong to think like this? Its just a hope, I know I can't make things happen. If I could I wouldn't even be writing here right now. I still love you, but not in love with you. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 You was wearing the clothes i brought you for your birthday last year.... I knew you would l o v e that shirt. Simply because when the sun hits it changes colors. That kinda of stuff blows your mind. And i knew you would love it. Because i knew who you was...... and and then wearing the pants too, plus the earrings. GOSH! today was you thinking of me? I bet not you just randomly selected your clothes... Why am i dying inside? Why can't i be over you alreadyyy? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYYYYYY? WHYYYYYYYY? Link to comment
jooj Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 You're unbelievable, you never apologized for doing this to me, you never even gave me reasons. It's been 9 days since we broke up and you never even tried contacting me. I sent you an email 5 days ago telling you that since I love you I understand your decision to leave me and you didnt even bother to reply. You are such a coward. I never hurt your feelings or bothered you even after you disappeared. Link to comment
simplyme01 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I am missing you today like I was when we 1st broke up. I love you, I miss you, I want to hold you so bad. I'm crying foe the 1st time in soooo long. I don't understand this. I thought it was suppose to get easier. I want you to text me, or call me...why?????? I don't want to love you, I don't want to miss you, I don't want to hurt anymore. When will this stop?? I feel so sick & so alone right now. I just miss you Link to comment
MagzO Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 It feels like every time I try to do something nice for you, to let go and make things better between us, you have to come and ruin everything. You don't love me anymore. I get it. I really do. But why do you say I'm the one abandoning you? Why would you say I'm the one with the problem? I honestly think you like having me around, like a love sick puppy, waiting to compliment you all the time and apply to every whim you have. You're going right back to the people who insulted you, and then insulted me for defending you. Fine. That's your choice. Just don't expect me to get involved and don't expect me not to care. I'm tired of being like I am with you, when every little gesture of kindness beats a million horrible things you say to me. I hate your big ego, I hate the fact that you think you're better than anyone, the way you act as if I was beneath you and how you keep pushing me away and then pulling me back again. I hate loving you. I hate needing you this much. I really wish I could erase the past two years, I wish I didn't think of you all the time, and I wish I never accepted that stupid idea of being friends after we broke up. You never cared. I know so. Then why keep me around? Were you feeling really that guilty or was it that you needed me too? I know you were like I am right now, all alone, and I was there for you... I guess things don't work the other way around. But I loved you, so there I was. You have no idea what you did to me. You ruined me. Ruined my innocence, my dreams about love, my way of seeing the world. You made me think I was the one who was wrong. You made me think it was my fault, that I should have been the one to give up her career and her family to be with you, and not the other way around. You made your sister hate me. Your mom hated me. I'm not perfect, I know that, but you're not perfect either. Hell, you made me think it was a good idea for you to meet other girls, because you told me 'You deserve to be chosen'. I'm stupid. I have to be stupid. Is there another reason you can come up with, for having fallen for such a stupid thing? You practically asked permission to cheat on me. What the hell is that? I know you have someone new. Yes. You've told me, countless times, about her. About how she's so cute and perfect. So unlike me, right? I hope she is as understanding though, because you are incredibly hard to figure out. I hope she is more patient than I am, what with your little tantrums and running away every time something turns difficult. You know, writing this I realize how wrong you were for me. I had an idea of love that you just didn't fulfill. You're not the man of my dreams, nor the love of my life. I want, no, I need someone who's there for me, who reassures me and tells me he loves me. I think I told you this once before. I want someone who believes is more important to keep me warm than undress me. And you're just not that man. Link to comment
MasterPo Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Hi, It has been a long while. About a year point five. A long time if you think about it. There was a time when I thought five days was forever. So it is true what the knowledgeable say, time heals wounds or most wounds. I am tougher than I thought. So what eh? I got your email - the one about understanding if I never want to contact you again, you know - you said it three times in that paragraph. Which leads me to believe you hold little hope. Makes me sad as hope is sometimes all you really have. I read that note until I damn well memorized it with the exception of the phone number. I did check it and found that it comes back to where you moved. Made me sad all over again as I think you still live with him. My replacement. What do you hope to get out of reconnecting with me? Angers me but I know that is just me dealing with the unknown. I talked to my female friends and they mostly feel for you. I'm told it took a lot out of you to write that and even more to send it. I wish you had it in you to do it many months back. Now that I've babbled on; here is the gist of it. I don't think I can be your friend anymore. A friendship is all about trust and making sacrifices, well.. all that stuff. I can't do it. I would forever wonder why you were late? Who calls you at night? If you are really home when I'm on the job. I can't do that and I will not. So there is your answer; no and I am sorry and my heart is breaking all over again. I'll be fine though. Someone sweeter, nicer and oh so kind will find me and I will be happy again. Go now, leave me be. You have your answer. Mpo Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 It will be 2 months next week- two months since the last time I spoke to you. I consider it 2 months NC even though we did have a few random texts in between, but still nothing like hearing your voice. Haven't even texted since Feb 20th. For the most part I don't think I'll ever hear from you again. I know you've moved on with yourself. I'm sure your fine, maybe even dating someone else now who knows. I know I don't want to know if you are. I still look at your sisters facebook often, maybe just to see if she's befriended a new girl or yours or something. I know its dumb. There have been a few times recently where I really wanted to call you, just hear your voice and speak to you. But I know that won't accomplish anything. I still can't help it though. I know your not still hung up on me like this- I'm sure your okay. Sure every now and then I probably cross your mind. I hope when ever you hear Back to December...you think of me. I hope when your driving in your car and a Billy Currington song comes on you think of me. I hope when your watching a movies and someone is in NYC you think of me. And I hope when you put on Big Fish and see our scene....I hope you think of me. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 If i would have known i was going to be in such pain when meeting you i would have never went to pool hall that night. Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Today i'm in a new low. Keep crying, keep thinking. You said my name today felt werid... because you never called me by my name... it was always "babe..." I'm simply dying inside. dying, dying, dying. Will i ever accept you won't ever be mine again? How many months... or dare i say years will i miss you? I know why you keep your distant, because you can fall in love with me all over again. And you refused to let that happened again.... Link to comment
beleza Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 love is a horrible thing. after everything you've done to me i am still thinking about you ALL the time! i am so so mad at you, you have no idea. i want to let go but somehow it never happens. i don't know how to break this cycle. i feel trapped in my feelings for you. post-break up feels like a roller coaster too. every minute i become someone else. i get happy and extatic and mad and sad and crazy; i want to see you and talk to you and feel you kiss you hold you and appologize and discuss and blame and accuse you, i want to yell and scream and throw stuff around the room and i want you to take me in your arms and tell me you love me and it is going to be okay because we can make it and i want you to fight and show me you really meant those words you said to me that your actions never proved. i have not rebound and it is driving me crazy. i want to, i need to because without you i am going out of my mind. but just the thought of being with someone else is giving me nausea and i know i am not ready not right now, i suppose because i still believe in you for some reason, although you never showed you could be trusted. when is this hell going to be over? Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 Baby, I love you.... and i don't know how to let go........... My bestest friend who is a guy tells me its okay to feel this way. Well what the HELL YOU KNOW? You never been in love. You are so lucky in some many ways. I feel ashamed, crazy, and sad. i thought by now i'll be totally over you! Not crying like a moron because i saw you with my clothes i brought you! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Link to comment
heyiamrron Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Been feeling like crap all day long. I think it's now setting in that there's no hope for reconciliation, you have completely moved on in two weeks after five years, you are extremely happy with your new partner, and that you truly do NOT love me anymore. I really doubt you would come back or talk to me. Although, I do plan to contact you in the near future when I'm comfortable enough. I still want to be friends, honestly. It hurts, it does, but since that's the case, I can not sit here and dwell on what once was. It's history. Link to comment
luvsomeone333 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 i feel so heart broken, you think you tried so hard to keeps us together but you didnt even bother to try. you've wasted my time and my life and i got nothing in return. i ve learnt so much from this break up, i ve learnt so much from you. you disappoint me and your a selfish bastard who couldn't care less for anybody else. i tried so hard to be the person that i thought you want me to be but you never did change for me or be with me when i needed you most. Your so caught up with being so miserable with yourself that you left me behind. i was the only person who cared for you most but you just pushed me away.... i hope your guilt consumes you, you treated me like crap and i cant believe i took it all in without a fight.... i hate u and u arrogant bastard!....... even if i did feel hatred for you,... u dont even deserve my acknowledgement... u dont deserve to be my friend...but u act like we re ok but were not.... im not sure when i could ever be ready to be your friend.... this expectation i wanted from will always fail and i dont care any more.... u broke my heart and left me to rot.... i hate u! Link to comment
Mustang4life Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 2 weeks broken up, Day 6 of no contact. This is killing me....I was doing well until today I just couldn't get my ex gf out of my thoughts. Link to comment
Malachite Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I dreamt about you the other night, first time you made an appearance in my dreams in months. You were with some other girl, I practically had to drag you away from her. I needed to talk to you in private, needed to tell you something important. I’ve dreamt about ex-boyfriends before, but this was the first time I didn’t wake up feeling a mixture of disgust and horror directed at my subconscious. Instead I felt… heartache. For the first time in months I allowed myself to miss you. I’ve thought about our relationship so many times, at least ten thousand. Each time my memories of our relationship change a little, confabulate. I read that in a book once, that after a while it’s hard to know what exactly you lost. Maybe you lost more than you think, maybe less. Sometimes you recall it one way, sometimes a different way. I have tried to get over you, scouts honor. Met new guys, had little crushes, even gone on a few dates. Still, I always felt something holding me back… I finally realized that I haven’t completely moved on, I’m just trying to replace you. -sigh- I’m having surgery soon. Kidney. There was a simple procedure I was going to have instead but due to some complications that one would’ve ended up killing me, so I have no choice but to have major surgery. Just my luck, right? Not gonna lie, I’m scared, I try not to think about it often, but in the back of my mind it’s still there. After that dream I got to thinking. What if, god forbid, by some stroke of horrible luck, I had gone through with the simple procedure? I would be pushing up daisies and you would never even know. What if something terrible still happens? You would go on with your life never knowing that there was a girl out there who still had feelings for you up until the moment she took her very last breath. I guess that’s all I really feel I need to tell you. Heh, I’m sure there’s a lot more I would like to say, but that’s all you really need to know. Ani ohev otcha. Link to comment
Starrgrl Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 You were just right for me. Link to comment
honesttoblog Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Ha I love how I said to you I wouldn't be with anyone till uni after you dumped me, and now I've got with two guys in the space of a week and we've only been apart from a month and a bit. You changed my way of looking at life and made me realise that I don't need proper relationships until later on in life. You fully had the old innocent little me that people apparently prefer, well tough luck I'm loving how I am now. Link to comment
bec83 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 i'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry i couldn't let go and feel like i did before. I wanted it work, but my heart wouldn't let it. I'm sorry you fell in love with me and shared all these feelingw with me that i tried so hard to return and couldn't. I'm so terribly sorry for what i did to you, my best friend. I have a hole where you used to be, but i refuse to keep doing this to you when i'm not 'all in' I'm sorry.. please forgive me Link to comment
ks240030 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I am going through the grieving phases right now. Yesterday, all I felt was anger. I feel I wasted 2 years of my life and you knew what I wanted but all you could think was you and what you wanted. But last night, I went to the depression phase. I cried like my heart was breaking into a million pieces. I am starting to realize that it is in the evenings that I feel the most depressed. It is when the loneliness sets in and I do not have you next to me. I cannot wait to accept to reach the acceptance level. Link to comment
Moonchill Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 So how should I interpret the fact you didn't reply to my text? It bothers me more than I thought it would Link to comment
Love1336 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I'm not at a new low anymore. I am going to pick up the little things i called my heart, and try to put it all together again, but once i do that. Do know that I will NEVER let anyone hurt me the way you have. So feel lucky, you are my first & last love to take a nice swing at my heart. Link to comment
Helpmetoheal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Right here with you Simplyme01! I am missing you today like I was when we 1st broke up. I love you, I miss you, I want to hold you so bad. I'm crying foe the 1st time in soooo long. I don't understand this. I thought it was suppose to get easier. I want you to text me, or call me...why?????? I don't want to love you, I don't want to miss you, I don't want to hurt anymore. When will this stop?? I feel so sick & so alone right now. I just miss you Link to comment
Helpmetoheal Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 "L", you shattered my heart into a million pieces. Sadly, I would still pick them up, put them back together and love you all over again! Link to comment
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