MelloweSooth

I missed you more than ever this week.. Carl got my number from Carol a few weeks ago, and he keeps contacting me and asking me to meet up with him, but I'm not sure what his motives are, and it makes me feel so insecure. I don't like him in any romantic way, but he keeps asking to see me, and asking what I'm doing, how I am, texting me at least 5 times a day even when I don't reply, and he keeps making suggestive remarks.. I've been out with him a couple of time, and I can't say no to him inviting me out because I would feel mean.. What do I do? I really need you now. I feel like i've gotten into a situation which I can't get out of. Carl was and is your friend first and foremost, so what he's doing feels just wrong. Whenever I'm with him, it reminds me of you and everything that i've lost. I'm so sick of Carl.. I just wish he had never contacted me out of the blue.. but at the same time I can’t just tell him I don’t want to be friends anymore.. I miss you so much. What should I do?... I feel so lost...

I know that this was posted ages ago, but wow.. This sounds like my exact situation.. I hope that since this post, things have been on an uphill slope for you

You, Mr Popular. The person all the guys wanted to hang out with and all the girls wanted to be with. You chose me out of all the girls you could have picked. Me, the shy little girl who sat alone and never talked to anyone. I found myself plain and boring, but you told me I was beautiful. You told me you'd fallen for me the very first time you'd laid eyes on me. I should have realised how much you cared for me. I should have realised that you would never do me wrong. I was so happy in the beginning of our blossoming relationship. You told me everything about your day, your thoughts, your life. You let me know so much about you. But I was more reserved. I did not have a way with words or expressing myself, but you told me that you'd help me open up. I should have cherished what we had together. How did I slip up so badly? My paranoia and jealousy overcame me before I could stop them. I scoured your facebook for photos of your exes, observed through slanted eyes all of the girls you hung out with. You even gave me your password to your various email accounts and online profiles.. and I went as far as to abuse that trust that you thought you had in me. I judged myself against everything that you were involved in. I was overly critical of all of your actions, trying to see things that weren't really there. I felt worthless after seeing all the beautiful girls you knew, the wide circle of friends you had, how carefree you were. I only ever had a few friends. I never held myself in much regard. What was i jealous of? You? Why did I feel so worthless standing next to you? Why did I feel like I wasn't deserving of our relationship? You were straightforward with me when I became obsessive and temperemental. You gave me so many chances to change. So many chances to see what I was doing wrong. So many chances to fix things. But I never learnt. Always the same mistakes. Always the same ill feelings rising up from nowhere. And then you ended it. I know your reason to me wasn't completely honest. I know because I questioned our friends. But I guess I already knew the true reason behind our breakup. And I knew that I was the cause of it. I know that you were just trying to let me down easily. Or as easily as you could. So I don't blame you for lying. Or not telling the complete truth. I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy. I know that you're so much better off without me, and I truly hope that you are happier now. I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I know that I can now take our experiences together and learn from them, so I don't make the same mistakes in future. We were together for a year, and we haven't spoken in 6 months. I'm still not over you, to be honest.. but I've accepted everything. If there's anything I want to say to you, it's thank you for choosing me over everyone else. Thank you for seeing something in me that I never would have been able to see. And finally, thank you for helping me grow to be, hopefully, a better person. (p.s. Sorry for the rant)