beleza

you can have all the women in the world but you can't have Me oh and... i'm no longer watching the 'getting back together' thread

love is a horrible thing. after everything you've done to me i am still thinking about you ALL the time! i am so so mad at you, you have no idea. i want to let go but somehow it never happens. i don't know how to break this cycle. i feel trapped in my feelings for you. post-break up feels like a roller coaster too. every minute i become someone else. i get happy and extatic and mad and sad and crazy; i want to see you and talk to you and feel you kiss you hold you and appologize and discuss and blame and accuse you, i want to yell and scream and throw stuff around the room and i want you to take me in your arms and tell me you love me and it is going to be okay because we can make it and i want you to fight and show me you really meant those words you said to me that your actions never proved. i have not rebound and it is driving me crazy. i want to, i need to because without you i am going out of my mind. but just the thought of being with someone else is giving me nausea and i know i am not ready not right now, i suppose because i still believe in you for some reason, although you never showed you could be trusted. when is this hell going to be over?