Should women with young kids work full time?

[anna31]

I am 30 with a nine month old baby boy. I have been looking for part time work (currently out of work) I want to work 20 hours a week and not more. Other people in my life think it would be good to work full time 40 hours a week, or at least that it wouldnt harm my child in any way. I dont think it would harm its just that I want to be there and see him develop and if I had a full time job I dont think I would get to see him that much. At previous full time jobs they have often made me stay a bit later in the evenings etc and I am scared that I would end up not spending good time with him. Some people in my friends and family think I should look for part time, and a few think I shouldnt work at all just yet.

 

Do you have any opinions on this? I feel bad for not working at all but am enjoying it a lot, except for the fact that when I work I feel a good sense of accomplishment.

 

Thanks for your responses

x

[Siriana]

It's your child, your life and it all comes down to what you want.

It really doesn't matter what other people think.

Your child is not their responsibility.

Do what you think is right.

There is no right or wrong here.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You should do what you feel most comfortable doing. It is your life and your comfort level which matters. Do you have a partner who is earning enough money to cover most of the expenses? If you are a single mom will your income be sufficient if you work part time? You need to consider the financial aspect as well..would a part-time income be enough to pay the bills. If the answer is yes then by all means work part time and forget about what "the peanut gallery" is telling you. It is your life not theirs.

[waveseer]

When my kids were small I hated having to leave them to work. Especially my first, I cried every day driving to work. What I do can't really be done part time so I didn't have that option. What would I do differently if I had it to do over? I would marry a man who could support his family (while not being abusive) and stay home with my kids when they were small.

[EQD]

if i were a mother i would work as little as was financially required during the first few crucial years of my childs life. bonding with the child and them bonding with you is extremely important to their social development.

[itsallgrand]

A lot of times people don't have so much choice in the matter. I don't think it's bad for kids if their mom works full time, or part time, or stays home. All valid choices. What matters is the quality of the parenting, and being there for what matters.

 

The way things are right now too, a lot of people are struggling hard simply to find a job.

 

If you need to be working and making money, and were to find one that required full time, would you give that up ?

 

Gee, I don't envy the balancing act moms have. Hope you find a way that works for you.

[Hope75]

Yep, stop listening to what other people think and do what feels right for you, your baby, and your family. This is a private matter between you, the baby's father (if you are with him and he would be supporting you while you work part time) and the baby.

 

I have a 9 week old baby and am going back to work next week. When I was pregnant my husband and I talked a lot about what to do in terms of my working full time vs. part time, what we could afford, how we felt about day care, etc. We have no family that can help us with child care so it was either I am with the baby, he is, or we do day care, and the more we talked about it and thought about it, the more it left a sour taste in our mouths. (nothing wrong with day care, I just don't want to pay someone else to raise my baby and neither does my husband.)

 

In the end we decided I would work 2 days a week, (20 hours) but even that is not going to work out so I will only be working 1 day a week (weekend) and my husband will be with our baby that day, and the rest I will have her. Personally for me, I NEVER thought I would be a stay at home mom, but she is growing so fast and changing so much and I don't want to miss anything and I want to be with her, and that is the decision that is right for our family.

 

What feels right for yours? (never mind what everyone else has to say? It's your baby and your family.)

[divainpain]

I agree that if your husband can support the family in a non-resentful manner, you ought to stay home until they are potty trained. After that, a quality pre-school is a very good option which could allow you to work, and give them a great start academically and socially.

 

I find that working 75 percent time gives the best balance of money earned, time with the kids and ability to still compete with full-timers for perceived productivity. Plus management tends to not make you do overtime or travel as much because you are part-time.

[chocolates]

I have to say that i have sat on both sides of the fence, and now at age 40 i believe that no, if you have young kids you should not work full time. Ofcourse you'd have to have a partner working to be able to do that.

 

I dont believe in sticking kids in all day day care.

[thejigsup]

I worked full time from the time my son was 10 months. I added school to that mix when he was 8. He grew up just fine. He graduated high school with a very decent GPA and last semester he made Dean's List at college. We have a great relationship and my son neither drinks, smokes, nor does any drugs at all! He could be the poster child for how children of working moms grow up to be very well-adjusted, successful adults. But I was happy doing all of that (I still go to school, one can never have too many degrees!) and he sensed how happy I was. If working or staying home would make you unhappy, your child will suffer. You need to do what is best for you. If mom is happy, kids are generally happy!

[scared and alone]

Some women don't have a choice. But if your family is able to be financially fine without you working full time and you want to not work full time, go for it.

[metrogirl]

I was able to work because I had my parents that were willing to help watch the kids. I tried staying at home after one of them and I just felt like I was missing out on something. While I very much enjoyed spending time with the kids, I really felt like I needed to be working. I like working....