LostSpartan Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Last night, as we were heading to bed. I had a odd thought. The night before I had a dream that her ex-boyfriend came over and tried to shoot us. So, for some reason I just started wondering if she carried condoms on her. I know that sounds odd but its the truth. So I asked her. "Baby, I have a question for you, it is out of nowhere, do you carry condoms?" She right away said yes. I asked why nicely even though I was upset. She said she had them in her backpack and forgot about them. Then three weeks ago, she noticed them while she was at work. She is a second grade teacher. So she put them in her purse. She said she was embarrased to toss them in the trash. So then I asked well you could have tossed them at our place or any trash can outside of work. She then told me the following" "I don't like throwing personal stuff in trash cans" "What if something happens and the police find those condoms and my fingerprints are on them?" "I just forgot they were in there" The second one really made me upset. Sounded like complete utter BS. You know the saying, if it doesn't make sense, its not true. So then I told her to throw them away. She just paused and stared at me for about 7 seconds. As if she was debating saying "no" or something. Then she pulled out four and tossed them. We argued over it for about an hour. It just didn't make sense to me. We have been together for a long time now and no longer use condoms just birth control. We went to bed and have not spoke sense. This is heavy on my brain and I'm not sure how I should take this. I have no other reason to think she cheats but this whole thing has me on edge. Opinions? (Please tell me what I need to read, not what you think I need to read.) Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Sounds fishy, but i don't know for sure. did you see the condoms in her purse and that's why you asked? Link to comment
greywolf Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I don't think there's anything wrong with her carrying condoms, and she didn't try to hide it from you either. Link to comment
LostSpartan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 Sounds fishy, but i don't know for sure. did you see the condoms in her purse and that's why you asked? Huh? Nah I pretty told the story 100% as it occurred. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Yea sounds alittle fishy, she probably thought you seen the condoms so she admitted to having them. Because who just asks that out of the clear blue sky?? LOL Honestly though, if you have no reason whatsoever to think she is cheating. Drop it. Her story might be true or it might not be 100% true but you probably caught her off guard so she said something ridiculous... I had condoms in my purse a few weeks ago & me and my SO don't use them anymore. I actually found them in one of my old backpacks & had no clue where they came from but if my SO asked me at that time I would probably tell him just that and he probably wouldnt believe me cause its sounds so...not real lol Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Huh? Nah I pretty told the story 100% as it occurred. Just seems weird you would ask if she carries condoms just because you had a bad dream, but OK. Nothing else she has done seems fishy? Link to comment
jettison Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 I don't think there's anything wrong with her carrying condoms, and she didn't try to hide it from you either. I agree. Who cares if she's carrying condoms. She didn't lie to you when you asked her. And obviously, she saw your angle and your jealousy and what you were going for. Her "fishy line" that came later was probably lent to you just to avoid an unnecessary argument. Until she gives you some kind of more legitimate reason not to trust her, this is a non issue. Link to comment
LostSpartan Posted August 28, 2009 Author Share Posted August 28, 2009 I agree. Who cares if she's carrying condoms. She didn't lie to you when you asked her. And obviously, she saw your angle and your jealousy and what you were going for. Her "fishy line" that came later was probably lent to you just to avoid an unnecessary argument. Until she gives you some kind of more legitimate reason not to trust her, this is a non issue. Thank you ladies. That all makes sense. Just wanted to get some input before I went further. Link to comment
pinkrobot Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Eh, it's a tough one. My boyfriend and I use one specific type, but I have a whole box of a different type still in my dresser drawer from a past relationship. I just never think to throw them out. But they're sure as heck not getting used. I do agree her second "excuse" was a little interesting. But for the record, she probably knew from your initial questioning of it that you'd end up feeling suspicious. So, even if she's innocent, she probably felt the need to do whatever it took to justify her situation. So the real question is, has she done anything else to give you reason to believe she's being unfaithful? If not, then I'd say don't worry about it. If she has, then just take this into consideration and become extra aware of her words and actions. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 so many teachers get arrested these days, she is probably concerned she would get into trouble being that kind of teacher. that's all i can explain on the 2nd reaction. but who cares. you use condoms with her right? Link to comment
EQD Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 its legal in all 50 states to throw condoms in the trash can, what crime is she committing?? Link to comment
Ac143 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 its legal in all 50 states to throw condoms in the trash can, what crime is she committing?? My first thought was...if someone took the condoms out of the trash and used the for a crime & her fingerprints where on them they can track her down? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 thinking about it, i guess i probably wouldn't throw them out in an elementary school trash can either. cops finding them and testing for fingerprints is a little far fetched and unlikely, but teachers do get accused of molesting students. wouldn't look good i suppose. Link to comment
Lamprey Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Sounds to me like you're flipping out for no reason. People DO forget about these things. I haven't used birth control with my wife in more than a year, we went out somewhere, i put on a jacket I haven't had on in a while. We're out about town, I reach into a pocket and what do you know? A pack of condoms I completely forgot I put in there. An opened one at that! That one was a lot of fun to explain. And before anyone asks, no, I didn't cheat! But the point is, these things are easy to forget about, especially when you put them out of your mind once you no longer use birth control. Link to comment
greywolf Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 My first thought was...if someone took the condoms out of the trash and used the for a crime & her fingerprints where on them they can track her down? If she's a public school teacher they probably do have her fingerprints on file. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 its legal in all 50 states to throw condoms in the trash can, what crime is she committing?? at a 2nd grade school? not illegal, but probably frowned upon in some way i'd imagine. Link to comment
thistime Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Honestly? when I was carrying condoms in my purse, while being in a relationship.....I was planning on being ready to use them. Sorry..this may not be the case with her, but I thought you wanted what you needed to hear... Link to comment
annalisa84 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 If I'm on the pill, not using condoms and in a long term relationship, I don't usually carry condoms with me. Why would I? I might have one odd one in my make up bag or in a purse I haven't used for a while, but bunch of them - no. I would let this one go though. If she keeps carrying them with her, that would be fishy. Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Go in the garbage and check the dates on those bad boys?? Just an idea I am sure you can figure out how old they are. I would forget it for now, and one day ask her again or get a little snoopy and check out her purse if there in there again then you should go ahead and accuse her of some SH!T. Link to comment
waveseer Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 The problem is not really the condoms. The problem is that you don't believe her. Either you have to let it go completely and give up on your suspicions or you have to let her go completely because there is no room for a relationship without trust. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 If your only 'evidence' of her cheating is carrying condoms in her purse...I'd drop it. I found a condom in my car the other day. oops....those little buggers just get every where and are easy to forget about. Link to comment
Speranza Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 For some reason I took 'she threw four of them' to mean she kept some - is that right? Why on earth does she need them if she doesn't use them with you? I would be very suspicious too... lol just remembered, this is right up there with the time I found lube in my Ex's drawer after we'd not had sex for over a year (and NEVER used lube!) His reason was that he'd 'used it without telling me'. Yeah of course he had. But not on me! I don't really buy the dream thing either. I suspect you've been suspcious and had a little snoop - which as we know, can be dangerous. The dream was definitely either cos she HAS an Ex in her life she's fond of, or he represented an Unknown Guy. Anyway - what are you planning to do? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Her excuses are strange COuld be the truth though. I carry a condom with me always just because sometimes when Im going out with a guy we might have sex somewhere where protection isnt readily available (outdoors/hotel if were going away) I just like to carry one incase. OH sorry, you two dont use condoms?! Ok that adds a new dimension to the problem. Unless she keeps them for a time where it could get messy...say you decided to have sex in the car/outdoors you might want to use them. Link to comment
DN Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Why does she need condoms if you two don't use them? Why did she need to take them out of her backpack and put them in her purse if she was going to throw them away - why not leave them in the backpack? Her fingerprints would be on any item she threw in the trash. What a lame reason. Why did she hesitate about throwing them out if, as she claims, she was intending to throw them away anyway? Link to comment
DN Posted August 28, 2009 Share Posted August 28, 2009 Hmm, and given this thread you made about her this seems even more suspicious: Link to comment
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