Letting a child get fat...

[dragon lady]

A child doesn't have a say in their health, that is what is so hard about this. If an adult is happy being overweight, whatever. Great. We should all be accepting of one another.

But it is so dangerous for a child to be overweight. Never mind the mental anguish, they cannot develop healthily if they are severely overweight.

 

Makes me so sad. Setting them up for a lifetime of problems.

 

I think you're right. Even if your kid does want to eat a lot, you can control what they eat and how much of it. A banana is one thing, but going and buying them a 12 piece chicken meal at KFC is another. I also think letting kids have 24 hour a day access to a pantry full of snacks is a terrible idea.

 

My little brother is like this. He's not huge, but he's a little chubby and he's a type 1 diabetic. My parents have not done a lot of manage his diet & they let him eat chocolate, chips and ice cream whenever it wants. He's also a picky eater and has a tantrum whenever you try to feed him healthy foods. It makes me sick. I can't even go visit them without getting upset about it.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

It's the same as any other value/moral/belief in life a parent has to teach their child.

You want your child to be polite? Teach them early.

Parenting is about setting a child up for success later in life; teaching them to make smart, healthy choices.

 

Of course it doesn't always work. A kid who eats healthily his whole childhood could end up loving bacon and mayo sandwiches later.

 

But if you teach your child which foods are healthy, teach them to exercise... they have a much better chance for a good life. Like others have said though, it's about teaching the parents as well.

[rocio]

Its hard to limit what your child eats. I think there is some primitive, niploical urge to practically force feed our kids. I find myself offering my kid food all day long and would have a hard time restricting access to food. I'm just lucky that she dislikes candy and burgers, and loves veggies, fruit, rice and chicken breast. Her favorite food as a baby was spinach. Lol..

[JeckyllNHyde]

Its hard to limit what your child eats. I think there is some primitive, niploical urge to practically force feed our kids. I find myself offering my kid food all day long and would have a hard time restricting access to food. I'm just lucky that she dislikes candy and burgers, and loves veggies, fruit, rice and chicken breast. Her favorite food as a baby was spinach. Lol..

 

Lucky! Hha.

Yea restricting acces to the pantry can be hard and controlling. We just didn't have alot of junk in the house and still don't. I think that's a wayyyyyy better option. For everyone in the house.

I was a very picky eater and also kind of slow eater- you know, the kind that spends a half hour or more eating a meal when they don't like it. Still they didn't buy me food from junk places/restaurants/prepared outside the home or offer me other junk. I'm glad too.

 

And yes.. definitly teach your kid and MAKE them eat healthy till a certain age.

My sister is overweight and 20. And it sucks. She was never taught to excersize which mostly contributes. And teaching her now seems like an uphill battle.

I think kids should be taught to read alot about health benefits to eating/living healthy from a young age too. Now whether they are willing to or want to learn is another matter.

[summerpeach]

A child doesn't have a say in their health, that is what is so hard about this. If an adult is happy being overweight, whatever. Great. We should all be accepting of one another.

But it is so dangerous for a child to be overweight. Never mind the mental anguish, they cannot develop healthily if they are severely overweight.

 

Makes me so sad. Setting them up for a lifetime of problems.

 

well said and I agree that this is a set-up for a life time of problems

[summerpeach]

I think you're right. Even if your kid does want to eat a lot, you can control what they eat and how much of it. A banana is one thing, but going and buying them a 12 piece chicken meal at KFC is another. I also think letting kids have 24 hour a day access to a pantry full of snacks is a terrible idea.

 

My little brother is like this. He's not huge, but he's a little chubby and he's a type 1 diabetic. My parents have not done a lot of manage his diet & they let him eat chocolate, chips and ice cream whenever it wants. He's also a picky eater and has a tantrum whenever you try to feed him healthy foods. It makes me sick. I can't even go visit them without getting upset about it.

 

This is who I felt when I would visit my ex when he had his kids, I could not even look at this little girl w/out wanting to scream

She would eat triple what I would eat and no one would stop her

[rocio]

That's true. Veggies are an acquired taste. If you rarely eat them, you will think they are disgusting. If you eat them daily, you will start to crave them. I also think that parents don't realise that you have to offer a child a particular food at least 3 times before concluding that they won't eat it. Kids are naturally resistent to unfamiliar tastes, so it can take several tries before they know whether they like beets or radish or squash. (unlike junk food, which all tastes the same with some combination of salt, grease and sugar.). You shouldn't force them to eat anything, but you should continue to offer it, and refuse to let them turn down healthy food and be rewarded with junk. If they don't want what is for supper, then they can have some fruit and milk (for instance). The only other option is to be hungry.

 

Exercise is also so important. Its not just about what you eat. But we need to set the example. Of they are us being active, they will follow suit.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Or find ways to make fruits&veggies taste good.

 

I got my bf eating carrots and salads and somewhat loving em thanks to a yummy dipping sauce.

Or find fruits they actually like so at least they can eat some healthy stuff.

There's always a way - I think- to make/help someone eat healthier.

 

 

If they don't want what is for supper, then they can have some fruit and milk (for instance). The only other option is to be hungry.

Agreed!^^

[BellaDonna]

I think a lot of parents don't take the time to prepare healthy options for their kids. Cookies do not have to banished forever- it's relatively easy to bake a batch at home using whole oats and other subsititutions that still taste good, but have less fat and sugar.

 

I use this book when making things for my son link removed It has simple snacks that are fun, healthy, and that tase good.

 

One of the things that amazes me is that purple an green ketchup exist, or oatmeal that you can turn blue with some sugary mix. All that stuff is loaded with preservatives and artificial junk. Old fashioned oatmeal flavored with some cinnamon is so much better for them.

 

My son does not "like" certain vegetables, so I hide them on him. I hide them in soups, I ground them up an put them in a turkey burger, pasta, etc. He doesn't know the difference- it actually tastes good.

 

Of course this stuff all takes time.

[JeckyllNHyde]

And some parents don't even cook for their kids. Or rarely do.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

My mom is rail thin but eats nothing but fried chicken, chocolate, diet pepsi and she smokes. She thought I would end up ok eating Kid Cuisine micro zap meals and Eggo waffles.

 

I could have avoided most of my health problems if I had been fed differently. \

I wasn't even that large of a child, just slightly overweight but was eating JUNK.

[Alezia]

Kraft Dinner and Pepsi cost a lot more than water and brown rice ;-)

 

I agree though, many people have no clue about proper eating.

What about if the parent does know about proper eating?

 

The thing is although healthy food CAN be made cheap, often times they are not the most fun or great tasting options. Ex: beans and brown rice. I'm sorry but I get tired of eating that after 1-2 meals. I am willing to down them down to stay healthy but would a kid really be able to grasp that concept as much as an adult?

At his age, he doesn't know what "health problems" really mean and pepsi and and KD will taste a lot better to them.

Of course if she was serving some fajitas or the such then the child would probably most likely enjoy eating the healthier foods but the cost is also a lot more than just KD + pepsi when you calculate in the veggies, chicken, tortillas, salsa etc...

So not only will you be struggling with your low-income but with your kid eating the food.

 

My son doesn't eat rice or beans - at all. We've tried to get him to eat them, he doesn't... and really neither do we. We stopped buying it, no point forcing the issue.

The difference is that we do have the income to go get other as healthy options out there to feed our family. I would rather skip out on a movie night and restaurant date night while still eating healthy foods all week than eat crap and have my "special night".

Most people just don't want to make the sacrifice to eat better and allocate their discretionary spending otherwise (and then blame the cost of health food).

[Alezia]

Its hard to limit what your child eats. I think there is some primitive, niploical urge to practically force feed our kids. I find myself offering my kid food all day long and would have a hard time restricting access to food. I'm just lucky that she dislikes candy and burgers, and loves veggies, fruit, rice and chicken breast. Her favorite food as a baby was spinach. Lol..

 

I would be willing to bet you eat more veggies, fruit, rice and chicken breasts rather than candie and burgers on a daily basis though I think children like to eat what the parents eat.

 

My son wanted to grab what we were eating even though he didn't like it in his bowl at an early age. If it came from our plate, it was delicious where as his was "gross".

[Alezia]

If they don't want what is for supper, then they can have some fruit and milk (for instance). The only other option is to be hungry.

 

That's what I do to my son.. give him a peanut butter sandwich and a banana with milk. I used to feel bad but apparently just the peanut butter sandwich has 63% of his daily nutrients.

 

Often times, I agree I do not help the cause with some of the weird dishes I cook =) I don't really expect my son to like Miso Soup or a tuna roll lol!

[summerpeach]

someone sounds like a great mom

 

It doesn't amaze me that these purple processed foods exist, what amazes me is how some people think it's ok to consume that.

[summerpeach]

That's what I do to my son.. give him a peanut butter sandwich and a banana with milk. I used to feel bad but apparently just the peanut butter sandwich has 63% of his daily nutrients.

Often times, I agree I do not help the cause with some of the weird dishes I cook =) I don't really expect my son to like Miso Soup or a tuna roll lol!

 

Unless it's all natural peanut butter, there are very few health benefits to PB. Peanuts are not one of the healthier nuts.

You're better off using almond or cashew butter.

 

And I LOVE miso soup

[BellaDonna]

Once in a while cereal for dinner is not the end of the world, -we all have nights like that now and then. As long as the ceral is not filled with sugary garbage, it's not going to hurt the child.

 

I'm not much of a cook- AT ALL, but I don't find preparing healthy food for a toddler to be hard work at all. In a pinch it's relatively easy to throw together something healthy for them to eat.

 

I was thinking more about this and the person who has the most influence over the parent is likely the child's pediatrician. I wonder if pediatrician's have a protocol to follow when they notice a patient that is approaching obesity. -One that includes more than just a suggestion for eating and exercise, but a plan that follows up regularly with the family to monitor progress. I wish there were state-funded programs, prompted by pediatricians or school nurses that submit the names of familines who children are at risk for obesity into some kind of database where they can be sent helpful information by the mail, receive free healthy food with coupons of some sort, and get the benefit of connecting with other local familes that are in the same situation, if they choose to.

 

I think that in most cases, if you give families the tools that they need to succeed, but also add some accountability/progress updates- that they will do well with it. It's far too easy to fall back into unhealthy cycles without consistent measurement of outcomes. Even on my own diet I am sure to weigh in once a week to make sure I am doing the right things.

 

Hmmmm....I'd love to write a grant for that sort of program some day.

[summerpeach]

I love your attitude

 

As for doc's having a protocol to implement if a child is nearing obesity, they do not have one.

 

My friend is a cancer Doc and I have a 8 year medical research background and also am now in school getting my naturopathic degree and I can tell you this, med school literally gives one course in nutrition.

 

My own Rheumatologist (I have lupus) tells me how disgusted he is in the medical field when it comes to preventative health.

 

The school I attend has many MD"s working on getting an natural certification in order to treat their patients with better care, which is a great thing.

 

I also think schools should teach a one year program on health.

Once I get my final degree, one of my focuses will be on natural health care for obesity.

Like I said, I watch my sister live her whole life with it and want to help others.

[Ms Darcy]

What a great discussion! I am no expert, but I wanted to chime in (and get hammered for this), I don't think all processed foods are bad. And since most foods ARE processed, I think it's about trying to make the best choices - i.e. finding those foods with no preservatives etc - from what's available.

 

I was obese and what made a big difference for me was eating all sugary/fat foods and not knowing/adhering to my body's limits. I still eat tv dinners, love 'em in fact; I try to pick ones that incorporate veggies and I'll add steamed veggies to the healthy choice pre-packaged meal to bulk it up and feel fuller.

 

I don't have any children but my bf does and I notice that he does three great things. First, he keeps them very active. They are always biking, boarding, or playing ball. Second, he feeds them healthy foods - lots of veggies - whether they 'love them' or not. They need to eat them so it's up to them to dress it up, maybe add a little salt or dressing or whatnot, to make it more tasty for them. Third, when they beg for seconds and thirds, he doesn't always give it to them. He makes them wait 20 minutes to see if they are actually hungry. And half the time, they aren't!

 

Kids need parents who set limits. When the kids are at my house, they don't really have the option for junk just a ton of veggies and fruit. I say it's easiest to set limits when you live by these limits. The healthier you are, the easier it is to instill these traits and beliefs in your children. And as noted, unfortunately not everyone has these same personal habits.

[summerpeach]

great post and nothing to hammer

 

As long as "bad" foods are kept to a minimum, there can be a balance

[Alezia]

Unless it's all natural peanut butter, there are very few health benefits to PB. Peanuts are not one of the healthier nuts.

You're better off using almond or cashew butter.

 

And I LOVE miso soup

 

Yes it is all natural pb. They might not be the "best" nut but are rich in a lot of different things: link removed. KD or peanut butter whole wheat toast... hum I dunno =P I would try the almond butter but it's outrgeously priced here. 14$ for a pot.

 

 

I guess it's almost like comparing chick peas to other peas... They are not the best but they are still a good source of nutrients.

[calidreamin0]

Coming from an obese childhood, I can say that its not all neglect... most of it is just mis-educated parents. My parents still to this day don't eat healthy, so its no surprise that we were fed fried foods that were fast and cheaper. I remember I went from 80 to over a 100lbs in ONE YEAR. I was round and plump and just fed what my parents gave me. Now, why didn't my parents care about me being overweight? Cause they are too. How do you tell a child not to smoke, when you are smoking? This was also before 'transfat' phenomenon, and 'supersize me'.

 

I have to agree, its not only the physical scars that are left behind that are damaging... to this day I cant wear a string bikini because of stretch marks i got when I was eleven years old! BUT emotionally... its terrible. Especially for girls. I ended up with an eating disorder in high school because I was so sick of being fat. I got anemia, passed out all the time, etc. But eventually became a lot healthier person. But I am still self conscious of all my stretch marks. Sometimes I think people think I've had a child and gave it a away! And I literally haven't gotten a 'new' stretch mark probably since I was 12 yrs old!

 

So when It comes time to raise my own children, they will definitely be a big fan of whole grains and never will know what a happy meal or frapaccino is!

[summerpeach]

My ex eats very well and it in great shape himself. He's very educated about good food, he's just a bad parent.

He'll let his daughter eat pizza, fries, chocolate, sweets.

His entire family complains about her weight, yet they all allow her to eat bad and or bring sweets to every meal.

 

It's sad! No one seems to care.

[Catdancer]

Great thread, Summerpeach!! This exact topic is one that I've been worried about since having my son 3 months ago. Obesity runs on both my side of the family and my bf's side of the family. Diabetes is also on both sides of the family. So, keeping our son healthy and active are two definates for us. He is still on formula now, but in a a couple of months when he starts to eat solid foods, I worry about him gaining weight. He is a big baby, but thankfully he's isnt fat. He has a couple of "rolls" on his thighs, but those will come off when he starts walking. He is evenly proportioned and perfect. Now, how do we keep him that way??

 

We want to enroll him in swimming lessons and martial arts as early as possible. Swimming can start at 2 to 3 years old and martial arts starts at about 4 or 5.

 

I did learn that when we start feeding him solid foods, to start with veggies. I was told that if we start with fruits that are sweeter, he wont want to eat the veggies. So, get him used to veggies, then introduce fruits later.

 

I wish more parents could be more active in their children's health and nutrition. Face it, in today's world, TV, video games, and computers reign supreme. So, our kids are either sititng or laying down most of the time. What happened to running, playing and being outside?? When your 6 year old plops down in front of the TV after being in school all day and he doesnt move until he goes to bed, and you bring him a tv dinner and leave him, how is he supposed to learn to be healthy?

 

I know what I DONT want to do with my son, now I just have to figure out what the RIGHT things are to do! lol

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

^ It is hard because kids need so much more different types of food than adults. They do need lots of carbs and even fats to grow. A nutritionist would be a great investment.