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Letting a child get fat...


summerpeach
5 Simple Psychological Principles f...
5 Simple Psychological Principles for Healthy Parenting

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Funny you posted this- the exact issue just came up today at work.

 

It involved a mother who is morbidly obese and her 9 year old child who is already wearing a size 16 in women's clothing.

 

Abuse? I'm not sure?

 

Neglect? -As in neglecting a child's health- definitely. I do think there should be an intervention.

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It is guess it is a form of abuse- likely not intentional abuse- I think these things needs to be handled carefully on a case-by-case basis.

 

The ideal would be that the parent would be taught proper nutrition and given the resources to provide it to their child- rather than rip the child away.

 

Fatty unhealthy food is cheap, the healthy stuff is expensive. Some parents who are poor can't afford to feed their children the best foods. I think each situation is different and complex and that child protective services should intervene. If I saw a child in that situation, I would report it.

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It is a form of abuse- but I think these things needs ot be handled on a case-by-case basis.

 

The idela would be that the parent would be taught proper nutrition and given the resources to provide it to their child. Fatty unhealthy food is cheap, the healthy stuff is expensive.

 

Some parents who are poor can't afford to feed their children the best foods. I think each situation is different and complex and that child protective services should intervene. If I saw a child in that situation, I would report it.

 

Kraft Dinner and Pepsi cost a lot more than water and brown rice ;-)

 

I agree though, many people have no clue about proper eating.

What about if the parent does know about proper eating?

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Usually in these situations the parent is also obese.

 

I think they should be educated and also monitored- by doctors, nutritionists, etc. -and be given a chance to make things right.

 

There are other situations where parents comfort kids with food's or use food to compensate for things.

 

It's a tough call.

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Kraft Dinner and Pepsi cost a lot more than water and brown rice

 

That is true.

 

But I came accross a survey at work once that found that parents who had intellectual disabilities were more likely to buy less healthy options for kids because they were less expensive (one of the examples was that they were buying white bread instead of wheat bread and more sugary/nutritionally empty foods instead of fruits and vegetables.)

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That is true.

 

But I came accross a survey at work once that found that parents who had intellectual disabilities were more likely to buy less healthy options for kids because they were less expensive.

 

I would agree with this........it's cheap to buy pasta in bulk, white processes breads and just plain gross prcessed foods.

Maybe schools should give basic courses on eating well.

 

My ex has a fat daughter. She's 12 and my ex and his son are thin. They all eat healthy, but just eat way too much. My ex is thin and very built

No one in the family sees her weight as an issue and just calls it baby fat.

She's about 4'7 and about 120 lbs. They think this is ok.

This child can eat a 30 yr old bodybuilder under the table and again, no one stops her.

It's so sad!

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Well, she is definitely overweight- but according to the BMI calculator (which isn't supposed to be used on kids but I still tested it) she is not "obese".

 

Hopefully her pediatrician will say something to her parents if they think she needs to lead a more healthy lifestyle.

 

Most girls put on some weight at that age, before they go through puberty.

 

You also want to be careful not to give the child body image issues in these situations. The best scenerio is when the whole family is active and eats healthy- that way, no one person is singled out.

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It's a definate form of abuse.

 

I am a victim of this type of abuse and it's something i feel very strongly about.

No child should ever be allowed to get over weight.

 

I was so obese i couldnt fit into school uniforms, they had to be custom made. I couldnt walk well as my feet hurt from the weight of my body. I couldnt participate in sports as i couldnt breathe from walking or attempting to run.

 

I was bullied by other kids, spat at, and all sorts.

 

I am in my mid 20s now and while i am a healthy weight, i cant describe to you the physical scars it has left on my body as well as the mental scarring that may never heal.

 

Childhood obesity needs to be taken a lot more seriously that what it is.

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I dunno if it'd be abuse, unless the parent was forcing food down the kid's throat. You might be able to make a case for neglect, but I think a lot of the time the parents just don't have healthy habits themselves and the kids pick up those habits. If the parent eats greasy food every day and doesn't see a problem with it, they're probably feeding their kid the same junk.

 

And then some kids are just naturally heavy regardless of what they eat, and there's not much the parent can do other than starve the kid.

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This is not abusive so much as negligent. A parent's duty is to ensure the health of his or her child. There is no excuse for allowing a child to develop such bad habits so early on. I wish there were a law that required parents to know exactly how to take care of THEMSELVES and how to habituate their child to do so, as well.

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taken from link removed

 

Neglect is frequently defined in terms of deprivation of

adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision.

Approximately 21 States and American Samoa, Puerto Rico,

and the Virgin Islands include failure to educate the child as

required by law in their definition of neglect. Seven States

further define medical neglect as failing to provide any special

medical treatment or mental health care needed by the child. In

addition, four States define as medical neglect the withholding

of medical treatment or nutrition from disabled infants with lifethreatening

conditions.

 

It says something about not giving adequate food... You'd think that they could add something about nutrition as well?

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my mother has let my brother eat whatever he wanted and how much he wanted since he was very young. i think he used food as a comfort definitely, as my parents' relationship has been rocky at best [they have now been divorced for almost 8 years, my bro was 6 when they divorced] and my mother seriously lacks the ability to parent because she is constantly drinking [she's an alcoholic].

 

my brother is now 13 years old, around 5'5", and weighs at least 250 pounds. he can't play sports, he can't do PE, he wears a mens 2X in clothing, jeans are uncomfortable to him because his thighs rub together, and yes he does get teased at school. i feel so terrible for him. i definitely think my mother neglected him emotionally and then neglected more by allowing him to fill the void with food.

 

now my brother is old enough to understand the health risks in addition to the fact that he has a hard time doing anything physical and the kids call him names. now he wants to change his eating habits but he is having a very hard time because my mother never taught him the proper things and portions to eat. my brother can eat 4 sandwhiches and still be hungry. and my mother certainly has poor eating habits as well, so he has NO example and NO help, even though he wants to change it.

 

i blame my mother for it and she says "but that's what he wanted to eat". even when he was only 7 years old. i asked her "are you the boss or is he?" and she says "but if i say no, then it's a big fight and he starts screaming at me"

 

yes mother. because that's what you taught him. you taught him he could eat whatever he wanted and he's learned that if he starts screaming, you'll give in.

 

but she doens't understand it. i do believe it is neglect, but i don't think my mother honestly understands it.

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It's a definate form of abuse.

 

I am a victim of this type of abuse and it's something i feel very strongly about.

No child should ever be allowed to get over weight.

 

I was so obese i couldnt fit into school uniforms, they had to be custom made. I couldnt walk well as my feet hurt from the weight of my body. I couldnt participate in sports as i couldnt breathe from walking or attempting to run.

 

I was bullied by other kids, spat at, and all sorts.

 

I am in my mid 20s now and while i am a healthy weight, i cant describe to you the physical scars it has left on my body as well as the mental scarring that may never heal.

 

Childhood obesity needs to be taken a lot more seriously that what it is.

 

 

I am so sorry for your pain,

My sister was obese as a child, and I watched her get "clobbered" by other kids with words.

I would cry myself to sleep thinking of her pain. But I was just a child myself and didn't know how to help her

 

My Mom lives with so much pain from not knowing how to help.

My parents make no excuses (though i think their excuses are legit) and to this day (they are in their late 70's) still let the guilt eat them up.

 

I agree, this needs to be taken much more seriously

My ex's daughter is already getting comments and NO ONE is trying to help her.

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taken from link removed

 

 

 

It says something about not giving adequate food... You'd think that they could add something about nutrition as well?

 

man, really!

I think all parents should be forced to take courses when pregnant.

Any idiot can have kids. It's so frustrating!

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My parents didn't get it either. Though my other sister and myself are thin.

My middle sister had emotional issues and she ate them away

This is where my parents needed to step up to the plate

 

It makes me SO MAD that everyone has to basically stand back and watch a parent not take control

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Some parents think that being fat is healthy for a child and they even encourage it. I know when I was a baby and I had just weened, my grandmother was giving my mum a hard time about not feeding me enough. I was as fat as a pig. I had a triple chin and rolls all over my body. I was fed way too much. Once I got a bit older I developed very picky eating habits and ending up turning out to be a pretty skinny kid.

 

You also get parents who have the idea that "it's just puppy fat" and it will go away when they get older. The problem is that most of the time it just gets worse because they've already gotten into the habit of eating poorly.

 

I do think that this is a form of abuse, but I don't think people are intentionally trying to harm their children. They just have no idea what they're doing.

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Any idiot can have kids. It's so frustrating!

 

Agreed.

 

Takes more to be able to legally drink booze. At least then, you have to be at least a certain age. lol.

 

The majority of people who end up leading their children into obesity, have their hearts in the right place. That's something.

 

But then there are people who are just jerks with kids. There's nothing saying you can't be a jerk with kids.

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The problem is giving children candy, pop, fast food. THEY DON'T NEED IT.

When you give them this delicious, fun, tasty food that is all they are going to want. And most parent cannot say no. They are too tired or detached to really lay down the law.

 

You get a child that screams its bloody head off at broccoli so the parents slop a plate of mac and cheese in its face to calm them.

 

Ugh so wrong.

My mother bought nothing but frozen food. She hates to cook and we were poor.

3,000 frozen dinners made me overweight. She never cooked me anything, it was all processed.

 

I so wish I had been raised differently. When I became a teenager and finally started eating healthy, it was too late and my health was obliterated. I had to beg her to get me broccoli and chicken breast.

 

I don't want kids, but if I ever adopted a child I would feed them the absolute best foods.

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What are your thoughts/opinons and feelings about parents who allow their kids to get fat/obese?!

Would this be considered abusive parenting?

 

It makes me sad actually, very sad. Not that I have anything against or judgements against weight, but it's proven that being overweight can lead to other illnesses/diseases.

Recently I was ranting on about it, due to a coworker/family friend whose son is obese, since the age of 9 it was VERY evident. He was kind of fat since the age of 5 though, but over the years it's just gotten out of control.

Yet the mother DOES make an effort to lose HER extra weight. And since age 9 he's been diagnosed with diabetes.

I feel bad b.c now he's also entering his teen years and we all know how hard teen years can be as a skinny person, let alone if you have some extra weight and people pick on you.

Someone needs to do something, but sadly if it where anyone else the parents would take it wrong.

 

I dunno what he eats at home (he does take several helpings), but everytime we'd see him at his mother's job he was coming back with ice creams, pizza and donuts too.

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A child doesn't have a say in their health, that is what is so hard about this. If an adult is happy being overweight, whatever. Great. We should all be accepting of one another.

But it is so dangerous for a child to be overweight. Never mind the mental anguish, they cannot develop healthily if they are severely overweight.

 

Makes me so sad. Setting them up for a lifetime of problems.

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