Why does......

[thejigsup]

When I was younger and poor, I dated poor men. Now that I am older and educated, I date men who have a bit of money. It's not a class thing, I just always dated people I felt comfortable with. I could no more stand to support a poorl man now than I could stand to be supported by a rich man when I was young. I want someone I am compatible with, and right now, that would be a professional, middle-aged, man. When I was young, it was a poor guy with long hair and love beads. Times change

[Honey Pumpkin]

I'm ok with just working towards both associates and BA, then I won't go no more from there. I don't wanna spend to much time investing on school works nor extra years of studying where I can be doing other things at the same time.

 

Yeah, stings when someone rejects you for something you don't have, huh? I don't want to flame you, but I do want to say - shame you can't inherit academic success the way that you do financial wealth, right?

 

I think you sound unhappy - I've had a look at your previous threads, and there is a lot of judgement going on there (eg "People with severe acne - it's their fault" - 2006). Where does this come from? Someone who is happy and focused on their own life doesn't need to put other people down like this, do they?

 

I think you sound deeply unhappy and anxious, and are therefore acting out a wee bit with such a judgemental thread. Do what's right for you - but I would say, you inherited wealth, you're not studying, so probably it's a little bit ironic that you are spouting here about not dating the undeserving poor, lol.

[yeawutever]

Yeah, stings when someone rejects you for something you don't have, huh? I don't want to flame you, but I do want to say - shame you can't inherit academic success the way that you do financial wealth, right?

Yes it sucks that you have to spend X amount of years just to get a degree, take a bunch of exams first, present it to the position where you wanna work in and then start from there. I'm really not a nerdy bookworm that would spend all day in a library or someone that only talks about studying nor long years at it. No I'm not studious, I don't think I ever was (a phony nerd I guess). But that's what I was known for. Think I did a good job fooling everyone with the nerdy BS (even my parents) and teachers. Then again I do like psychology but do things at my own pace. Like I explained I don't like getting rush into finishing something.

I think you sound unhappy - I've had a look at your previous threads, and there is a lot of judgement going on there (eg "People with severe acne - it's their fault" - 2006). Where does this come from? Someone who is happy and focused on their own life doesn't need to put other people down like this, do they?

Yes but that acne thread was way back in 2006, I was 19 back then. I am happy and as for putting people down isn't that only if you tell them face to face than write how you feel about certain things on a forum? See I'm good at writing all this here but I would not dare saying all this in real life.

I think you sound deeply unhappy and anxious, and are therefore acting out a wee bit with such a judgemental thread. Do what's right for you - but I would say, you inherited wealth, you're not studying, so probably it's a little bit ironic that you are spouting here about not dating the undeserving poor, lol.

Right I'm not studying for now but will. Can't to finished my courses already. Wow lots of patience of this (a degree that it) but ok I'll make it.

 

As for being judgemental on acne and other posts well I try not to but I think it's worst when shy people get teased as kids.

[Capricorn3]

as for putting people down isn't that only if you tell them face to face than write how you feel about certain things on a forum? See I'm good at writing all this here but I would not dare saying all this in real life..

You may not put people down face to face, but the fact that you have these very judgmental thoughts and have no problem in putting people down on a public message board, is the disconcerting part. You seem to think that by hiding behind a computer screen makes it all okay and acceptable. It doesn't.

[yeawutever]

You may not put people down face to face, but the fact that you have these very judgmental thoughts and have no problem in putting people down on a public message board, is the disconcerting part. You seem to think that by hiding behind a computer screen makes it all okay and acceptable. It doesn't.

I have no intention of putting people down nor hurting their feelings. I only write how I feel about things and what my views are. As you can tell I have my threads in here in total from the time I joined in this site which was Oct. 2005.

[melrich]

I have no intention of putting people down nor hurting their feelings

 

Maybe some of our members are cashiers or cleaners?

[thejigsup]

The world classifies us. To do this to some extent is almost normal. I think we are responding to this poster with the part of us that hates that same thing in ourselves. We hate being classified if we are found wanting, but we classify others, don't we? I do it to some extent, we all do. While I do not agree with the poster's viewpoints entirely, at least yeawutever is honest. Whether we like it or not.

[yeawutever]

While I do not agree with the poster's viewpoints entirely, at least yeawutever is honest. Whether we like it or not.

Right on and my view on this is unlikely to change.

 

I meant to some point it's better to be hate for what you are and believe in than be love for what you aren't.

[pinkrobot]

Right on and my view on this is unlikely to change.

 

 

Just out of curiosity, what made you post your views on this issue on ENA to begin with?

[annie24]

i'm just pointing out that by your own standards, you aren't good enough for the doctor. and i think it's a good thing that doctors have to get so much training to open up a person's brain or heart and prescribe medicine!!!

 

truth be told, i am finishing my PhD, and before that, i completed two bachelors' degrees. I wouldn't date a person who didn't place an importance on education and learning.

[ResonanceTheory]

It seems that the OP is pretty sensitive about the fact that she has not yet earned her degree (at age 22--not even an AA), and is adamant that she is "working at her own pace". She doesn't "like to be rushed".

 

Well, let me tell you something: poor people are often much, much better motivated than the independently rich. Lets just compare the two of us: you are 22, and don't even have your AA--I completed my BA at age 20 (in three years). You study psychology (which DEMANDS that you have AT LEAST one graduate degree in order to practice within psychology itself). Without your MA or PhD, your bachelors in psychology is utterly useless. It is an empty degree. It might HELP you get hired into a regular ol' job somewhere--but you're not going to be a psychologist because you're "ok with just working towards both associates and BA, then I won't go no more from there. don't wanna spend to much time investing on school works nor extra years of studying where I can be doing other things at the same time."

 

But that's ok--YOU can take your sweet time getting your degree, because you have your rich parents to help you pay for school as you leisurely take classes towards your BA (or AA for that matter). I, impoverished as I am (having no parental support), will be a third of the way through my PhD by the time that you are even close to getting your BA--a PhD which requires substantially more work than any single-major BA. If you think that the amount of work that you are putting into your BA even reaches NEAR that of a PhD, then you are sorely mistaken. So--by that measure, it would be unacceptable for someone like you to marry(if I were a man)--someone like me-- a doctor (whether medical or otherwise), ever.

 

So, at least for the sake of argument, I am in a "higher class" than you as far as ambition and self-advancement is concerned. You might have more money in the bank--but where did you get it from? When you get your wealth from a parent, a large bank account speaks nothing about your ambition or level of success. It just means you have rich parents.

 

Now--do I REALLY believe that I'm better than you? No. I don't. Sometimes people really DO just need to take things at their own pace. Sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes they need help, sometimes the right opportunity just hasn't come along. Sometimes people just DON'T care about being wealthy--and that's just fine. More than likely, the man that I'll marry WON'T have a doctorate. My current boyfriend does not. He has an average-paying sales job. He doesn't REALLY excel at school. But he is an amazing person, and a good friend. While you DO need money to survive--money and success isn't everything, nor is it an accurate measure of the quality or character of the man.

 

If you haven't yet learned that, then you are in for rough times ahead, as the fluctuations of life can drag us all down on occasion.

[Night Pumpkin]

Financial status should never be a consideration when deciding to love someone because people's situations can change so quickly. I know so many people who were dirt poor, but who then found something and struck it rich. I also know other stories...those of those on top who ended up at the bottom. Such is life.

 

My friend was a youth pastor who married a nurse. His nurse wife made three times as much money as he did...yet in the end, he moved up in his career, while she only works a few hours a week now because she couldn't stand hospital politics. Moral of the story: Feel free to marry outside your "financial" class, because situations can change so very quickly !!!

 

Also, I like what the above poster said.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Financial status should never be a consideration when deciding to love someone because people's situations can change so quickly.

 

Disagree entirely. I am not going to marry some girl who's been working at Walmart full-time for the last 10 years, sorry. We most likely wouldn't have the same life values and I really wouldn't respect what she does for a living.

 

I think the OP is right for the most part. Relationships do work best when the two people are from similar backgrounds, including financially. But I'd be ok marrying a teacher or social worker, for example, even though they don't make nearly as much as I make because I actually respect the work they do.

 

No girl is going to ride my back account to the good life, for sure.

[pinkrobot]

Going off of ResonanceTheory's most recent reply on this thread:

 

yeawutever, I think if anything, your attitude toward this situation should be focused around how much drive and motivation a person has in life as a reasonable thing to take into consideration when choosing someone to date. Not financial status. You seem to link the two together, claiming that people should date in their same socioeconomic status because the more money you have, the more you're doing with your life--which is absolutely not necessarily the case.

 

Honestly, you can defend your views to the death on this one, but you have to realize your argument doesn't entirely make sense. And although it may be a personal choice of yours to only date someone who's as wealthy as you are, in reality you can't expect that it's realistic for all people to do that.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Yes, that's a good point, OP - what would happen if your parents lost their wealth suddenly? Inherited wealth doesn't make you good or bad, it's pure fluke. Except you may not have the means to recoup it on your own, because education is not that important to you.

 

If you became poor because your parents lost their wealth in the credit crunch, what would you do? People who make money have drive and determination. People who are happy to inherit it - not so much.

 

It's a strange way to judge people, if you ask me. Because it puts you in a very precarious position; your sense of worth is based on accident, and it can be taken away.

 

Hmmm.

[Night Pumpkin]

Appearances can be deceiving. I used to work at a gas station, and a man in his fifties worked there. I thought "What a loser!"

 

How wrong was I !! This guy owned ten properties, five Wendy's restaurants, three other restaurants, a car garage, and he was working at the gas station because he was learning how to manage it; yup, he was planning on buying the gas station too !!!

 

Love is love. Money and career can come and go in the blink of eye. What use is there dating someone with a good career, and then that person comes who tired and grumpy and expecting you to serve them and feel sorry for them.....

 

Love is what we really need...

[pinkrobot]

Appearances can be deceiving. I used to work at a gas station, and a man in his fifties worked there. I thought "What a loser!"

 

How wrong was I !! This guy owned ten properties, five Wendy's restaurants, three other restaurants, a car garage, and he was working at the gas station because he was learning how to manage it; yup, he was planning on buying the gas station too !!!

 

 

Has anyone ever considered that adults working at gas stations or food places or whatnot might actually have them as a SECOND job?

 

I work with many people (in an office, who all have actual careers making decent money) who work additional second jobs at clothing stores and restaurants and such, because they want to provide extra for their family or because they're trying to go to school. Hmm, family and education...those aren't things that make people "losers" or "poor" or "lazy" or "futureless." Correct?

 

So, judging someone based on where they work--without knowing a single thing about them--is ridiculous.

[yeawutever]

I work with many people (in an office, who all have actual careers making decent money) who work additional second jobs at clothing stores and restaurants and such, because they want to provide extra for their family or because they're trying to go to school. Hmm, family and education...those aren't things that make people "losers" or "poor" or "lazy" or "futureless." Correct?

 

So, judging someone based on where they work--without knowing a single thing about them--is ridiculous.

Well see if I was judge a person in real life then I would at least have a clue on what they actually do for a living and for what purpose. Those aren't loser but motivators. They are making a living for real purpose in life, real improvements.

 

The losers I was referring to are the those that like the poster StrawberryYogurt described a girl that works for 10 years or more works on a simple Walmart or those as mopper or cleaners all their lives. That, that's all they do for a living and seem satisfy with not working towards improvement. Then some expect to have life easy meeting a wealthy one to provide them their needs. In that case no I don't think no man should be a sugardaddy as no woman should be sugarmommy.

[yeawutever]

Yes, that's a good point, OP - what would happen if your parents lost their wealth suddenly Except you may not have the means to recoup it on your own, because education is not that important to you.

 

If you became poor because your parents lost their wealth in the credit crunch, what would you do?

Then I'll work double if necessary and work my way of paying for school as well. Education is important as so is a decent job.

[pinkrobot]

Then I'll work double if necessary and work my way of paying for school as well. Education is important as so is a decent job.

 

I love it, an answer for everything; you've got it all figured out, don't you?

[yeawutever]

I love it, an answer for everything; you've got it all figured out, don't you?

I don't every thing, I can be wrong who knows, but common sense comes into play.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Then I'll work double if necessary and work my way of paying for school as well. Education is important as so is a decent job.

 

But until then, you can relax and take it nice and slow - which is fine, but you do seem to be looking down on your nose at people not lucky enough to be in your position. I think that's what's annoyed people on this thread - your sense of entitlement without actually doing anything yourself.

 

But of course you should date only men with money, if that's what you value...

[ResonanceTheory]

I like how she ignored my post

 

Anyways, the point here is: not everyone who marries someone who is (at the time) making more money than them is doing so because they want access to their paycheck. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he barely had any money, and I paid for everything--going out, small gifts, etc. But now, he happens to be the one with more money, and he pays for most of our outings.

 

Things change. You can't be so narrow-minded about things.

[pinkrobot]

I don't every thing, I can be wrong who knows, but common sense comes into play.

 

Common sense involves--let me reiterate--realizing that economic status and drive/motivation/having a future/doing something useful with one's life are not connected. If they are, it's coincidental. So when you say that a person's financial status is an indicator of their quality of life, you're really referring to two different ideas. Which completely voids out your theory altogether.

[pinkrobot]

I like how she ignored my post

 

 

Haha. She ignored one of mine too. I think she's intentionally ignoring the posts that actually raise really good arguments because she has no rebuttal for them. She knows the 98% of posters on this thread who disagree with her are right.