THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Melting]

Day 16

 

Bring it on! I look forward to the day when my heart can smile again.

[brandnewday47]

Day 12 of NC, day 46 of NIC;

 

Unfortunately I chatted to mutual friends tonight after having a few drinks... I had intended to keep everything under wraps, but sometimes things just get out. Good thing is those few are closer to me than her. Guess this was a bit of a measuring stick.

[lonelyheart2]

Ok unbelievable I by mistake clicked 'like' on one of his photos yesterday. This is SO unfair because I don't even have him subscribed on facebook and somehow one of his pictures came up (it's a really pretty picture of the sun and snow in the alps) and I didn't realise it was his picture until after I clicked the like button as you can imagine I was pretty annoyed with myself afterwards! To be fair I really don't know how it ended up on my newsfeed....anyway

 

back to DAY 1 again! I think this time I'm going to post every day even if it is just the day to keep me going..I think the fact that we are 'friends' makes it harder to not contact because you think well sure it's going to be fine it's not as if he's angry with me but it's really not ok....! I really want to get to day 40 because that's the longest we've ever gone without talking and then after that I'll set another goal So day 40 here I come!!

[Melting]

You can do it lonelyheart2, be positive!

[lonelyheart2]

Thanks Melting I'm so impressed with your progress! I'm going to be over the moon once I get as far as you have!

[AC Slater]

day 112

 

got back from a valentines dinner with a new girl i've met

 

still thinking about ex. just riding these thoughts out

[Melting]

Day 1........... I feel terrible. I was going so strong and contacted him last night and then even looked at his FB.

 

If only I could take it back. I am such an idiot, I cried all last night because I am so disappointed in myself.

[lonelyheart2]

Aw Melting Don't worry you got quite far this time and we all make mistakes Maybe because you got this far this time you will be able to get even further next time, baby steps

 

DAY 2 for me! I'm feeling pretty down and depressed about pretty much everything right now but I think it's more to do with the fact I have so much work to do, for some reason when I'm stressed I feel his absence more.

[pilot28]

NC Day 5 and 6. Keep it up guys

[lonelyheart2]

DAY 3...I know that counting the days actually makes it go slower but I feel like I've achieved something each day by saying it so no way round that one! Fortunately today I have so many other things to focus on I'm hoping it will stop all this reminiscing business Good luck everyone

[feelingit222]

3 days nc, when i told her to only contact me in emergencies (as we have a child but i am close with mother in law so can see him and arrange things through her) she said 'are you f***** retarded!' from someone that does not swear much i was surprised but kept my cool, said no im going through a divorce..

 

It felt like before she was doing half nc on me so must be obvious to you all but really why would she react like that? she ended it, filed for divorced and split up our family!! i had been working on us until then but stopped as she said many times that there is no second chance.

[pilot28]

NC Day 7. Keep going guys. You're all doing well!

[xcrunner]

Day 27

 

Past the point of no return.

[Little My]

Hi everyone, mind if I join you guys? Just looking for some support during these tough times.

 

Day 6 for me. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago and started NC last Saturday. It's been tough tough tough. I keep checking his FB (I deleted him but I can still see his profile and I can't bear to block him) and I really want to text him. The usual stuff, eh?

 

Just a bit of background info: short relationship, only 3 months(ish), but very intense. Things happened extremely fast between us and we were so happy but suddenly, out of the blue, he said he'd lost feelings for me. I am NC for now but he still has some of my stuff and he even owes me money so I probably need to contact him at some point...

[xcrunner]

Hi everyone, mind if I join you guys? Just looking for some support during these tough times.

 

Day 6 for me. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago and started NC last Saturday. It's been tough tough tough. I keep checking his FB (I deleted him but I can still see his profile and I can't bear to block him) and I really want to text him. The usual stuff, eh?

 

Just a bit of background info: short relationship, only 3 months(ish), but very intense. Things happened extremely fast between us and we were so happy but suddenly, out of the blue, he said he'd lost feelings for me. I am NC for now but he still has some of my stuff and he even owes me money so I probably need to contact him at some point...

 

Little My, welcome. Of course you can join. Sometimes in this "Challenge" posters tend to talk past one another, but we're really here to support each other.

 

Stop checking the Facebook, twitter, myspace, etc. etc. and resist the urge to text or contact him in any way. Block him if you need to. Checking those will only keep opening the wound. So, just stop.

 

Best to get the "stuff" and money issues out of the way as soon as possible. Let him know what you expect back now. Have him send it through the mail, if possible.

[lonelyheart2]

Little My welcome to the clan agree with xcrunner try and get your money and stuff issues quickly so then you can really start concentrating on yourself, you don't want that hanging over you the whole time. Day 6 is great! You are doing well

 

DAY 4 for me....whyyyyyyy is it going so slowlyyyy! Even now I can't believe I keep expecting a little inbox message from him, when will I learn that it is not going to happen! He feels a bit like a stranger to me, it's so odd how easily he has slipped out of my life...I'm doing ok though, this time nc is for real and I actually think that I can cope if he never contacts me again. Have I said that before? No matter, just reminding myself that this is the right way to feel I guess...

[lolitalempicka]

Hello everyone,

 

This is my first post. Usually I'm not the person who would go seeking a help from anyone, but this time I had a very bad break-up. Actually, this is the first time in my life that I've been treated like trash, and the first person for whom I was begging to take me back, although he was the one who was found cheating. (Yes, my self-respect went down so much.)

 

Yesterday was my 1st NC day, I can notice this thread is in ''Getting back together'' section, but I am hoping to achieve (through erasing him from my life completely) the state of mind where I will not ever want to look at him.

 

Today is the 2nd day, went working, meeting up with my friends, mostly guys, although I feel zero attraction to others right now. Music helps me as motivation, although here and there I remember him, but I had worse days then this one.

 

I'm primarily interested in healing myself, although now I'm too weak, or too convinced that he was the one for me. If he wanted to take me back, I'd be unhappy, but I'd still accept the offer. (Crazy, I hope to change that.)

 

We can't see each other, because we were LDR over two continents, it's the reason why relationship broke. So, I blocked him on Facebook, Skype, MSN...after I got very nasty reply from him due to sending him begging message that one day I want to be his girl again.

 

Greetings

[xcrunner]

Day 28

 

DAY 4 for me....whyyyyyyy is it going so slowlyyyy! Even now I can't believe I keep expecting a little inbox message from him, when will I learn that it is not going to happen! He feels a bit like a stranger to me, it's so odd how easily he has slipped out of my life...I'm doing ok though, this time nc is for real and I actually think that I can cope if he never contacts me again. Have I said that before? No matter, just reminding myself that this is the right way to feel I guess...

 

Lonelyheart, you're doing very well. The days go by slowly, especially the first week of NC. Things are certainly looking up for you. The more you separate yourself from direct contact with him, the easier it will get. Trust in that. Then all you have to do is deal with is what your mind throws up at you- little fragments and memories of the past, recollections of the break-up, dreams, etc. These can still be challenging at times, but much easier than still holding onto contact with someone, who as you say "slipped out" of your life so easily. Slowly but surely (or all at once, nudge them down off of that pedestal and put yourself there.

[msphlyer]

DAY 5

 

hi i'm fairly new here, but struggling with NC. I already tried keeping him around and it was emotional torture, so I know this is the only way to go. I can tell this is a popular thread and seems to have a lot of positive responses. I'm hoping this will work and give me the clarity I need, and hopefully for him too. My hope is that we can re-establish some type of relationship whether it be friends or a second chance, and if not, that I will get over him and move on.

 

Good to know i'm not alone in this struggle. It feels so unnatural to cut someone out of your every day life that was once so important to you...

[pilot28]

Day 8. "Let it be"

[flatplane]

NC day 10. Had a * * * * day, so I'll vent about it on here.

 

Basically my ex came into work yesterday, had to give myself a complete mental slapping to not go and speak to her. She also came in with her mum today. Again, didn't speak with her, but said a few words to her mum, asking how she's (The mum) been and stuff. Went for the happy, go lucky vibe. I'm sure they'll get mentioned to my ex, but I don't expect to hear anything from her.

 

Just makes me want to reach out, but I know it's unwise.

[JLKLEE]

Well I'm on day 5. But he did contact me yesterday and say "Hope you are having a good week and the new job is going well". I replied about 7 hours later and said 'thanks. you too"

[Scuza]

Day 8. "Let it be"

 

This guy's speaking words of wisdom

[diariescs]

Day 3 NC

Day 7 BU

 

Feels like forever, but I do know better. I have no desire to contact him. I know that I want him back, it's a constant, nagging, needy desire, but I also realized that I should embrace the fact that I only want him on my terms. I want everything, or nothing at all. I want it all, and, dammit, I deserve it all, because I am prepared to give as much of myself to the one who deserves it. This relationship was toxic, because I allowed it to be so. It was my choice, and I blinded myself into thinking that it was okay to compromise so much of myself, that that was "what relationships are supposed to be about", that there was no place for pride or individuality in a relationship. I closed my eyes to his shortcomings, even fooled myself into believing that I must love him 'coz I accepted him for who he was. I know in my mind that my logic was severely flawed, and that he had forgotten my value because I was so accommodating to him. God, how is it that when women are selfish, men fall for them. Yet when we allow them into our lives, actually care about them, they start losing their respect for us. Are we forever doomed to the cyclical pattern of game-playing in order to truly experience the beauty of love?

 

These are the questions I would like to answer one day. But not tonight. Tonight, I have a heavy rock in my chest, weighing me down, but I am not crying hysterically anymore, nor am I scouring the internet for easy-fixes that I know will only waste my money.

 

Also, I am scared. He was supposed to bring my things over last night, so I stayed away from my house. He didn't. Now I'm feeling weird, and wondering how the hell I can facilitate getting my things back. I don't want to spend every day being afraid that it will be 'the day'. I don't want to worry about who's at my door, or what I'll find dumped at my doorstep when I get home. At the same time, I also don't want to initiate conversation of any kind, including anything business-like. It's too early, I'm too prone to being hurt. But what about my thiiiiings? Btw, if this was just random stuff, I wouldn't want them back. But it includes transcripts from other countries I studied at, text books, recommendations, work paraphernalia, etcetera. >.

 

On another note, I need to create a gratitude list. In the one week since I haven't been with him, so many blessings and accomplishments have come my way. I just gotta motivate myself to finally enjoy them.

[einsteins_girl]

Today is 30 days NC.

 

I don't think you'll ever fully comprehend just how much I loved you and how much I wanted us to work.