THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[HoliPoli]

I hate him

[HoliPoli]

Painting the dining room today and the foyer again because i don't like the color I previously painted it. I'm snapping at everyone including the dog. I hate being weak.

[Blueleaf]

Oh Holipoli, you do make me laugh with your little updates. It's so true though, how quickly your emotions can change. I'm thinking of taking up sculpting to keep my mind busy and get my creativity going again. It makes it worse not having a job at the moment. Good to have you hear Swift, it's almost like we're building up a little support team here. Glad I found this place.

[HoliPoli]

Oh Holipoli, you do make me laugh with your little updates. It's so true though, how quickly your emotions can change. I'm thinking of taking up sculpting to keep my mind busy and get my creativity going again. It makes it worse not having a job at the moment. Good to have you hear Swift, it's almost like we're building up a little support team here. Glad I found this place.

 

If anything I'm good for a laugh. It's easier posting here and curb my resentment for what happened than to totally unleash on him which I actually did today. 7 texts of emotional vomit later - I think I've said all I need to. I asked for him to leave me alone and 2 hours after my last "karatext chop" to his skull head he messages me back. There is no saving pride here as I have no intentions on getting back with him. It's like I went from "amazing" to "psycho" ex in less than 24 hours.

 

Put up some roman shades in the bedroom. I'm on a roll! I don't need a man to do this stuff.

[AnnaN]

Day 6

 

22 days after BU.

There are moments that I feel better. Fortunately all that can't sleep, can't eat, eventually got away. Getting him back is not my one and only thought during my day and night.

But I get so confused knowing that he spends his days at work, and his nights at home, alone in his bedroom, with the rest of his family at home. I thought he dumped me because he wanted to be single...

I don't know what to do. There are times that I don't care about my healing process and all I want is be with him again. Then again, there are moments when I think that even if he came back begging, I wouldn't care, he made me suffer so much, he doesn't deserve this.

[meowmix88]

Day 17

 

This is the longest I've ever gone without speaking to him. Still no word from him either. Like I mentioned before, we are not linked online, so I can't see what he's doing and neither can he. Also deactivated my facebook account. Not just disappearing from him, but from my friends as well, who I am on Day 1 of NC with. They only care about me when I have a boyfriend and as soon as I am single, they barely keep in touch with me. Feeling very alone, but I know I will make it.

[jeepman41]

Day 17

 

This is the longest I've ever gone without speaking to him. Still no word from him either. Like I mentioned before, we are not linked online, so I can't see what he's doing and neither can he. Also deactivated my facebook account. Not just disappearing from him, but from my friends as well, who I am on Day 1 of NC with. They only care about me when I have a boyfriend and as soon as I am single, they barely keep in touch with me. Feeling very alone, but I know I will make it.

 

 

If they only keep in contact when you have a boyfriend, are they really your friends? They should be there for you no matter the situation or circumstances.

[northpickle]

Day 22

And...I'm feeling dreadful - full of cold and shivering and shaking and have little to no energy. My head is most definitely in the shed! I want my mind to be free of him now. Moving on is certainly a difficult process and being poorly makes me feel all the more vulnerable. I'm not going to cave in though.

[meowmix88]

If they only keep in contact when you have a boyfriend, are they really your friends? They should be there for you no matter the situation or circumstances.

 

You're completely right, which is why I have stopped speaking to them. In time I hope to make new friends.

[Blueleaf]

Day 3?

 

Feels longer. I feel much the same way I felt yesterday. I still want to text him, try and salvage something but can't... Been reading back through the texts. Posted first part of our conversation on my thread. Perhaps if someone has some time they can let me know what they think, its at the bottom of the first page.

 

 

 

I should really get on with some things, stop thinking about him. I know it will get easier soon. At least it isn't as bad as it's been in the past.

[Mariana123]

I'm new here. Hi everyone

 

Day 4. Sometimes I can't believe we're over.

[Scuza]

Day 30!

WHOOOOOOOO! Challenged accepted, challenge completed!

It seemed like a long time when I first started, and man, it was hard, but it did wonders for me!

In retrospect, I realize that I had lost myself in the relationship, and that I was no longer the person I was when I first met my ex.

To be completely honest, this breakup was one of the best things that could've happened to me, because it slapped me in the face and made me take a good look at who I used to be, and who I'd become.

I feel free, and even better, I feel like me. I'm back to being myself.

NC isn't about bringing your ex back, it's about bringing yourself back.

Best of luck to everyone still going through the trials. Each day is easier than the last!

[MissyMolly]

Day 30!

WHOOOOOOOO! Challenged accepted, challenge completed!

It seemed like a long time when I first started, and man, it was hard, but it did wonders for me!

In retrospect, I realize that I had lost myself in the relationship, and that I was no longer the person I was when I first met my ex.

To be completely honest, this breakup was one of the best things that could've happened to me, because it slapped me in the face and made me take a good look at who I used to be, and who I'd become.

I feel free, and even better, I feel like me. I'm back to being myself.

NC isn't about bringing your ex back, it's about bringing yourself back.

Best of luck to everyone still going through the trials. Each day is easier than the last!

 

Way to go Scuza. Thanks for helping me get back on the wagon with your positive words!

[northpickle]

Day 23

Super poorly and hardly any sleep - partially because my thoughts wouldn't stop running around my head and partially because I'm so full of cold I couldn't breathe properly! It sometimes seems like it's one thing after another trying to hold me back, but I will fight through this, hot drink in hand! I still love and miss him of course, but things are getting easier.

[Swift]

Day 30!

WHOOOOOOOO! Challenged accepted, challenge completed!

It seemed like a long time when I first started, and man, it was hard, but it did wonders for me!

In retrospect, I realize that I had lost myself in the relationship, and that I was no longer the person I was when I first met my ex.

To be completely honest, this breakup was one of the best things that could've happened to me, because it slapped me in the face and made me take a good look at who I used to be, and who I'd become.

I feel free, and even better, I feel like me. I'm back to being myself.

NC isn't about bringing your ex back, it's about bringing yourself back.

Best of luck to everyone still going through the trials. Each day is easier than the last!

 

Loved reading that.

 

Well done you.

[Swift]

Day 3?

 

Feels longer. I feel much the same way I felt yesterday. I still want to text him, try and salvage something but can't... Been reading back through the texts. Posted first part of our conversation on my thread. Perhaps if someone has some time they can let me know what they think, its at the bottom of the first page.

 

 

 

 

 

I should really get on with some things, stop thinking about him. I know it will get easier soon. At least it isn't as bad as it's been in the past.

 

Hi Blueleaf, read through your text conversation and the earlier updates and he seems way too damaged and self-absorbed to be with someone. Really stick to your guns and don't allow him to dictate your life to you.

[Blueleaf]

Day 30!

WHOOOOOOOO! Challenged accepted, challenge completed!

It seemed like a long time when I first started, and man, it was hard, but it did wonders for me!

In retrospect, I realize that I had lost myself in the relationship, and that I was no longer the person I was when I first met my ex.

To be completely honest, this breakup was one of the best things that could've happened to me, because it slapped me in the face and made me take a good look at who I used to be, and who I'd become.

I feel free, and even better, I feel like me. I'm back to being myself.

NC isn't about bringing your ex back, it's about bringing yourself back.

Best of luck to everyone still going through the trials. Each day is easier than the last!

 

Excellent! Good to hear.

 

Hi Blueleaf, read through your text conversation and the earlier updates and he seems way too damaged and self-absorbed to be with someone. Really stick to your guns and don't allow him to dictate your life to you.

 

You may be right there, Swift. I definitely think it's time to move on. It's not going to work. I broke NC yesterday to apologise to him as this forum has helped me take responsibility for the way I behaved which could have been a lot better, and to tell him there is no point in trying to make a relationship work that isn't, but that I hope we can still be friends. I haven't heard back from him yet, it may take a few weeks or even a month or two, but that's alright. I'm a lot better, I've said my piece and I don't want to loose him as a friend. Time to concentrate on me now. Thank you for your support, Swift and everyone who has listened to me x

[jbug]

day 2. im struggling. i took a 3 week leave of absence from work because i will she her there. i hope ill be in a better mind set by then.

any encouragement will help.

 

thanks

[Swift]

Excellent! Good to hear.

 

 

 

You may be right there, Swift. I definitely think it's time to move on. It's not going to work. I broke NC yesterday to apologise to him as this forum has helped me take responsibility for the way I behaved which could have been a lot better, and to tell him there is no point in trying to make a relationship work that isn't, but that I hope we can still be friends. I haven't heard back from him yet, it may take a few weeks or even a month or two, but that's alright. I'm a lot better, I've said my piece and I don't want to loose him as a friend. Time to concentrate on me now. Thank you for your support, Swift and everyone who has listened to me x

 

No problem. Hope you're well.

[Blueleaf]

No problem. Hope you're well.

 

I'm fine, thank you. Taking up a new hobby. Finding a job is more important then relationship problems at the moment, far more concerned about that. How are you doing on day 3?

[The walkingman]

21 days of no contact, I'm starting to wonder when the time for breaking this should be.

 

The past week she has put a few quotes on her facebook wall that I can't help feel are related me, though I may be totally wrong.

The most recent one was "All I'm trying to say is 'Pearl Harbor' sucked and I miss you"

 

I'm worried about breaking contact too early or too late, I'm just hoping she finally contacts me in the next week or two but idk if she will. (been apart for 5 weeks, I tried contact after 2 weeks with no response)

[Madara87]

Broke nc today... I was going to a friend birthday to give her a birthday card, Saw her and her son... Her son came running to me and hugged me and she says he misses you (Of course).. After there i whet to her house to put his pajama on and read him a bedtime story after he got into bed her and i got a talk.. She told me she doesn't know what she wants i told her you had a good man now you lost it goodbye.. She didn't let me go she told me lets take it slowly that she will be my gf with benefits and will give me time to think about it..

[RitaTrue]

Broke NC Nov 8th.

 

After weighing everything with my ex, and considering that he could be moving out the country permenently in about 4 weeks, I gave him a call. He answered the phone, with a lot of joy surprisingly. He asked me a slew of questions about how I was, and then he told me how hard the break up was for him since I went NC. He then asked when I would see him. I wasnt planning on seeing on him at all. But the next week, I agreed to go to a relative's anniversary celebration out of town, which happened to be conviently 5 minutes away from where he was. I let him know. At first, he said he'd like to see me. But then 3 days passed--I heard nothing. I called. He said he was still making arrangements. But after another 5 days passed with no communication, I knew he had bailed. I was a little sad.

 

 

But, I now know that he'll be staying in the country for another 2-3 years. Eff!

 

After breaking NC, at first, I DID feel like I had stepped backwards but only by about 10%. After talking to him the second time, I felt like I went from 75% healed to somewhere betwen 50-65% moved on.

 

But after his behavior, I actually feel like breaking NC has DRASTICALLY HELPED ME MOVE ON! I got what I needed to know. If he decides to speak to me, fine. If not, I have peace with that decision now too. We each have to tread our own path in this. And I feel that this step back, has actually propelled me forward.

[northpickle]

Day 24

 

Just...urrrrgggghhhhhh. The ex de-tagged pretty much all of the photos of us together on FB last night, apart from the first one of us as a couple, and the last one.

 

And then blocked me - when we've had no contact on there at all since the BU, we weren't FB friends any more.

 

It really hurt and shocked me last night. Is he trying to forget me? Does he hate me? Is he still hurting? I just don't know but I will fight with my brain not to dwell on it. Fighting through the pain.

[jeepman41]

Day 24

 

Just...urrrrgggghhhhhh. The ex de-tagged pretty much all of the photos of us together on FB last night, apart from the first one of us as a couple, and the last one.

 

And then blocked me - when we've had no contact on there at all since the BU, we weren't FB friends any more.

 

It really hurt and shocked me last night. Is he trying to forget me? Does he hate me? Is he still hurting? I just don't know but I will fight with my brain not to dwell on it. Fighting through the pain.

 

 

The ex is out of your life. If you are feeling any pain it is self induced. Quit worrying about what they are feeling and just concentrate on yourself. It may be hard but it is part of the process of letting go.