mending23 Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Day 1 - again. I had trouble sleeping all because my dreams were about you again just from one email from you yesterday. It's that easy? It's funny how deep i've shoved my love for you yet just want to yell it from the rooftops. It's back to the beginning I guess ...I was doing so well too. I'm going out on a date tonight so we'll see how this works out...trying to keep it simple with distractions. Never work with someone and fall in love. We dated for 14 months and then broke up 3 weeks ago....i've had the absolutely toughest time with this and she seems to be breezing by. We don't see each other that often but I just left behind her going out of the building. She looked absolutely gorgeous...just makes me think she's seeing somebody. I don't know if she didnt see me or is just really, really good at acting like she doesn't care. I was paralyzed after seeing her...just completely paralyzed. It's like a never ending cycle...i'm glad we aren't talking but just seeing her makes me melt. I can't even eat...I had to walk out and walk back into the building. Get yourself together man. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Day 20. I forgot how long it's been. I take that as a good sign. I feel...better. Better about the break up. I feel moreso blah...about myself...than about the relationship. Right now, I'm fixated on finding a new career than on my ex, another positive. Link to comment
Take me back Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Not a good week for me. Feeling down. Link to comment
mending23 Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Not a good week for me. Feeling down. I'm there with you. It's a tough feeling... read this article...I just read it and it made me feel a lot better for whatever reason. link removed Link to comment
DesMoines Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 How funny! I've also been having a tough week. Well, a tough couple weeks. It's like I've been relapsing lately. Link to comment
gamergirl Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Day 3 pt. 2 I feel sick now, miss you like crazy. Talking to the doctor today made all emotions resurface. But in the same way it feels good to know I'm going to get help getting over you. Two months and four days since you left me. You were online on facebook, didn't write me. You never do unless I write to you first. You don't know if that kiss with that classmate of yours was something serious. You said: "Time will tell." I hate it that you was so mysterious about that party which made me curious and to ask questions. And then you told me. "We smoked pot and made out." I got my first panic attack that night and that was when I knew I had to stop chasing you. Stop being there for you because you're not here for me now. You seem fine with your single life. You think I'm fine as well. I told you I was. I lied. I thought you knew me better. I thought you would see that I was lying and that I'm not fine. You didn't... I hate this! I want you back but in the same time I want to move on. Link to comment
mending23 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Day 2. I miss you beyond belief. You're still in my dreams...I need you to leave. I went on a date last night and unfortunately, you were brought up in conversation. I kept my cool but it still made me think all night...maybe i'm not ready to date. I hope not to see you at work today. I'm going to watch some baseball tonight with a friend... Link to comment
gamergirl Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Day 4 I feel okay today, applied for a job so I'll find something to keep myself busy and not thinking about you all the time. Hope I'll get it... You haven't called yet about the stuff you still have at my place. I feel too emotional to meet you right now, so that's good I guess. Afraid I might start crying if I see you. For some reason... losing you as a friend is what feels worst. You said you want the friendship to grow naturally. How can it do that when you never talk to me? My others friends says that it might be too soon to be friends. But then again... why would you want me as a friend a few months from now when you don't want me now? Link to comment
mending23 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Day 4 I feel okay today, applied for a job so I'll find something to keep myself busy and not thinking about you all the time. Hope I'll get it... You haven't called yet about the stuff you still have at my place. I feel too emotional to meet you right now, so that's good I guess. Afraid I might start crying if I see you. For some reason... losing you as a friend is what feels worst. You said you want the friendship to grow naturally. How can it do that when you never talk to me? My others friends says that it might be too soon to be friends. But then again... why would you want me as a friend a few months from now when you don't want me now? Trust me there is no way you can be friends right now. You need your space as does he...this is what i'm realizing. Sooner or later you may or may not be able to be friends...nobody knows for sure. Sometimes it's just too difficult and the feelings never tone down enough to have someone in your life solely as a friend. We are here for you Link to comment
mending23 Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Day 2. I miss you beyond belief. You're still in my dreams...I need you to leave. I went on a date last night and unfortunately, you were brought up in conversation. I kept my cool but it still made me think all night...maybe i'm not ready to date. I hope not to see you at work today. I'm going to watch some baseball tonight with a friend... We live near each other so of course as chance would have it I ended up behind you driving 15 minutes to work today....We ended up in the parking lot together and you initiated conversation...just small talk....unfortunately, it gets my hopes up. I'm in a zone now where i am not going to do anything but just hope to myself that maybe you'll reach out further. I don't really think it's going to happen but a guy can hope can't he? Link to comment
SeekFortitude Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 60 days. Onwards and upwards and I ain't looking back. Sayonara. Your loss. Link to comment
Moonchill Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 So... My ex is friends with... my other ex. Yes.. tricky situation? Well I only started dating my ex after I knew my first ex really had no more feelings for me and was ok with it. Anyhow.. Let's call them ex1 ( the first one) and ex 2. Ex 2 recently send me a blanc text message which I was a bit confused about.. I started thinking what should have been filling that void. I thought it was something important. So I asked why he did that.. he did not reply. After a week I checked up with ex1 just to be sure he was ok ( He moved to England in the middle of all those riots) and I asked him if ex2 was doing ok and told him about the blanc text message.. So he told me he was doing ok and ex2 was doing just fine. I told ex 1 I met a cute guy. I actually don't want him to tell that to ex2. I don't want ex2 to know I still care about him.. And that I asked if he's ok. Which goes to show... I obviously still care. But it's diffrent now. I can live with the fact we won't end up together. No more romantic fantasies. If he would have wanted me back, he had a lot of chances to tell me so. But now .. this feels like closure. Maybe I accept his friendship.. but the trouble is.. if I would he would now through my facebook profile.. I haven't actually been living my life a lot. I put my life on hold for healing.. I wish the profile would be filled with pretty pictures of me smiling while drinking a cocktail with a hot guy by my side hehe.. But it's not. Link to comment
gamergirl Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Trust me there is no way you can be friends right now. You need your space as does he...this is what i'm realizing. Sooner or later you may or may not be able to be friends...nobody knows for sure. Sometimes it's just too difficult and the feelings never tone down enough to have someone in your life solely as a friend. We are here for you Well, thing is... it didn't seem that way in the beginning. He responded well to me being friendly. But ever since he started school again after summer he became more and more distant. I know he has a lot to do, but I also suspect this other girl in his class who he kissed some days ago. He's done this in the past. Started to distance himself from me everytime he met someone else... I know I shouldn't care... but because I still love him, it's hard not to. Link to comment
Lostlove26 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Its been a month since i last contacted my ex. I kept wondering when he is going to txt me or call but part of me doesn't want him too and part of me does... I didn't cry at all but starting this week i been crying constantly.I guess it's starting to hit me now. I almost txt him but i didn't i txt my friend instead. It's just been a rough week... i don't know want to do. Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Its been a month since i last contacted my ex. I kept wondering when he is going to txt me or call but part of me doesn't want him too and part of me does... I didn't cry at all but starting this week i been crying constantly.I guess it's starting to hit me now. I almost txt him but i didn't i txt my friend instead. It's just been a rough week... i don't know want to do. Welcome to the forum. All of us here are going through the same thing and you can look to any of us for support. When you feel like texting him, just come here and post in the forum. It will give you an outlet. Link to comment
mending23 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I really don't know if NC is working, if you miss me, if it's coincidence or what. We pulled into the parking lot of work yesterday and you waited for me , made small talk, and we went on our way. You then emailed me something throughout the day...are you thinking about me? Am I just getting my hopes up? I'm just going to keep doing what i'm doing and not contacting you...if you contact me then all the better....eventually if it gets too hard i'll just have to tell you we can't speak or we have to speak about what the future holds. Link to comment
gamergirl Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I broke NC yesterday! I did because you still have stuff at my place and I wondered when you're going to pick it up. We decided you coming by this evening. I feel so nervous. You seemed very happy when we talked, almost too happy. Said you had some news... I keep thinking it's about that girl. Hopefully it's not... can't stand hearing about it. When you've collected your stuff I'll restart NC. I must heal soon. I feel like I'm fading away. I have trouble sleeping, trouble eating. I try to enjoy the company of my friends but it just seem so meaningless when I come home to an empty apartment with nothing to keep me company except that panda you gave me for my birtday once. I should probably throw it away, but it's good to have something to hug. I miss you. It's been two months and I can't move on. You are enjoying single life, everything goes your way now it seems. It hurts to know I made you so unhappy... you act like breaking up is the best thing that's happened to you. I know I shouldn't think about it... but when you spend four years in a relationship you kinda start thinking that other person like it too. We'll see what you have to say when you stop by later. Right now it's raining and the sky is all grey. Maybe that's why I feel more sad than usual... Link to comment
T413 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Day 11 I'm struggling today. People keep telling me what my ex is up to and who he is with. I don't want to know. It just makes it harder. Link to comment
Take me back Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Its been a long week, I'm struggling hard. I don't know why? Its 4 months since the break up. I don't know, Its getting hard again. Im causing my own pain, I keep looking in her emails to fine something, maybe a chance of hope. I started to do some drive by too. I mean well and don't want to upset her, but I just feel better around her. I know I need to leave her alone and move on. I have a new GF but my heart is not in the right place. My GF loves me and I cant come to love her back. I'm not over pasted love I guess. Thanks everyone for listening. Link to comment
mending23 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I broke NC today and asked her to lunch. She shot me down and said she was busy all weekend...it went on and on and she said she just wants to be friends and doesn't feel the way she once did...killer. Back to day 1. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Day 11 I'm struggling today. People keep telling me what my ex is up to and who he is with. I don't want to know. It just makes it harder. I hate when people do that. Its like they want to bring you down somehow, or like they want to keep you informed on how their life is without you. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 day 21. Looking back on my relationship, I realize there were certain areas that I was passive aggressively testing you, to see if you actually liked me for me, or the me you thought I had the potential to be, with your help. I was angry at you. You kept trying to change me--change my style, my personality. So, I started showing up late for stuff that we were supposed to be "together" for. That was my way of saying F--- you, without saying it. And it was also my way to see, how well you could adjust to being with me, without me. I now know, from you, that if a guy wants to fix me: to just LEAVE. Men dont fix things unless they think its broken. And the ideal guy's conern shouldnt be that you change, but their hope is that you just stay the same. But that wasn't you. You wanted to get rid of all my clothes. And "approve" what I wore. For us to dress the same. When I wore my normal clothes--you know the ones you actually saw me in BEFORE we were in a relationship?--you just whined about how much you wanted me to be different. I wear nice clothes. But I will not dress like a catalog model. I dress with my own style. To your benefit, you told me that appearance was important to you. In fact, you said it was your #1 Expectation. But good grief!! You were such an a-hole about it! And on top of that, the ideal of personal breathing room was a foreign concept to you. I can't believe I tried to mesh and mold myself to be different than who I am. W T F was I thinking? Link to comment
DerekJason Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 today is sept 1 2011, im entering this challenge today, even tho last time we spoke was aug 12 2011. Link to comment
mending23 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 today is sept 1 2011, im entering this challenge today, even tho last time we spoke was aug 12 2011. Welcome. All the luck to you. Link to comment
Melting Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Day 1 .... This is going to be a hard, sad day. 1 Link to comment
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