THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[lonelyheart2]

Thank you Jeepman41 your message was very uplifting I just keep telling myself what I need to do but for some really irritating reason my heart won't follow up....Everyone says that come the 30 day mark it will all get much better so I am looking forward to this Sometimes I feel like my relationship was just a really long dream and I just woke up...... I think I'm on Day 20 at the moment and I am keeping myself a bit busier than before. I'm forcing myself to go out salsa dancing tonight so hopefully that should be good, investigating a new place

 

Missmyheart I wondered where you had got to! I'm really sorry to hear that your ex is being so annoying he's obviously a bit mixed up but I think you are the stronger person here, it must be really tough having to go through so much with someone you love but keep reminding yourself that you deserve the best and you don't need someone to keep dragging you down. Be strong I know it sounds weird but sometimes I try and picture myself as a strong amazon woman, the picture of independence,..sounds weird but it kind of helps....!

[jeepman41]

@ Miss My Heart. Do you want to start feeling better about this whole thing? Then you need to set some healthy boundaries or this person will continue to mess with you at his convenience. Stop trying to rationalize his behavior or the relationship. Some people like to play on your emotions just to see how much control they still have over you. When it's all said and done you are right back to where you started. They will be thinking, "Yeah she misses me, I can have her whenever I want to."

 

You need to go NC and shut the door air tight. When you hear any kind of BS from him, don't budge. You are the most important person in your life. Tell him that you are moving on and then show him you can do it. You have to get off this merry -go-round and get on with YOUR life.

[David271]

My(me age 64), girlfriend age 63, of four years dump me on 7-17. It has been 17 days. I'm about to break. If she doen't contact me by 09-06, I will call her.At our age we don't have months to this no contact. I just want a second chance. I know in my heart, the problem we have is fixable. It was communications on my part. So help me here to strong.

[Wildcars]

Guys, stay strong, NC is to heal yourselves, remember that..

 

Use this time to sort out the problems you guys had..

[David271]

Its hard. on day 10. I am a male 64 years. She is 63 years. We wrnt togehter 4 years. Have a date circle in six weeks. hopefully she will contact me but if she doesn't i will in sux weeks.

[David271]

thanks for info. I following all the advice that is on here and my therapiest. I'm getting my problems work on first. I write in a journal every evening. Jut doing that helps me look inside of me. I'm getting out making new friends. I work out. I'm even planning some fun dates. It really hurts, someone who you care and love dumps you. A thread on this site stated don't go back because you just want to. Thats is worth while. I've started a list of our relationship of cons and pros. In additional I've started a list of what do I want in a relationship. I'm going to heal. I know that. I'll come out a better person. Its just a my age I deserve another chance. If she give it to, we will see. The I know to move on.

[lonelyheart2]

When I went to salsa I realised I hadn't thought of him for a whole hour!!! Pathetic I know but it felt good for that moment...hopefully an hour will grow I knew salsa would help. Although it's getting really tiring having him in my thoughts so much I know I won't break NC as I have too much pride but that doesn't stop me from wishing every day that he would.......

[lovelifexoxo]

Hey.. New here.

 

He broke up with me sunday.. i never fully got a full answer from him, thats what he wanted but i knew.

 

We had such an amazing relationship, Its so hard for me to let it go.

 

Day 1 of NC and quite possibly the hardest day in my 19 years of life.

[GetMeBack]

Hi everyone, hope you dont mind me joining this thread..

 

I want to go NC with someone, but not with a boyfriend..my MUM.

 

She has made me desperately miserable for years..and its time I walked away for good.

[jeepman41]

I have reached a mile stone in NC and yes I do feel a lot better each week. I no longer romanticise the relationship. I'm in a far better place. NC will help you to heal so that you can move. I need to do this for myself before I think about entering another relationship.

[GetMeBack]

Well done Jeepman

[Take me back]

Day 23 Broke up 3 months ago. Started NC 3 weeks ago. I know my EX has started dating again, She now has a new BF. I have a girlfriend now for 3 months.I do not love her but I care for her very much. My new GF is head over heals in love with me. I'm trying to be a good boyfriend at the same time I'm trying to get over my old GF. I still love my EX but I know I have to move on. MY HEAD IS KILLING ME!!!!!

[Miss my Heart]

NC is so hard. I had to start over because he called me last Friday. Then I talked to him Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I was at a funeral, he knew I was there and sent me a text saying "smile kiddo". It made me miss him even more. So I'm on day 2 again. I love him. I miss him. I dreampt he was hold me this morning. But all I want is for him to be out of my head and heart. This is too hard. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to want him anymore. He quit on me, he broke my heart and I just want to move on.

[jeepman41]

Well done Jeepman

 

Thank you. I hope I can be an inspiration to others who are just starting NC. I know how hard it is to resist the temptation to contact your ex. I've been there but each time you think about contacting them call a friend or come here and post a message. The only way to get over the hurt is you have to put yourself and your wants and needs first. Then you can truly heal yourself.

[dansmi12345]

I had NC for a while, broke it for a week or 2, but now I think I need to resume it if I ever want to get over her. NC it is!

[lonelyheart2]

I don't hate him I don't even cry anymore about the break up, I still feel sad about it but it doesn't stop me from doing anything anymore. However, I do still miss him like crazy and think about him all the time, I don't know why I can't just start hating him I'm sure it would make things easier. I just want to see him, to kiss him and for him to hold me I guess that will never happen again *Big Sigh*

[dansmi12345]

I just want to hold her. This breakup is so dumb. It could have been avoided so easily. Why can't I think about anything else?

[Lostlove26]

New here... I wish this wasn't true and that the one person I loved with all my heart wasn't gone... So here's my story.

 

Me and my ex were together for 2 years and were almost going to get married and live together. about a month ago out of the blue he tells me he can't do this right now and wants to be alone. I couldn't understand since this happen a year ago but we really didn't break up for less then a week. He wants to get his life together. I understand this but i don't know why i have to be out of the picture for him to do this. We broke up a month ago but we been in contact on and off and he txt'd me he missed me but he has to do this and he hopes in the long run it works. We saw each other yesterday for the first time in a month because he was going to help me with a part to my car turns out i ordered the wrong part so now I got to get a new part and then he will put it on so I have to see him again, but I know its strictly to fix my car and nothing more. This is the hardest thing I Will have to do for me. I keep thinking what he said it just replays in my mind over and over I want me and him to fix this but I guess its not the time and I have to let it go and see if it comes back and if not I want to be able to say okay I will be okay. Right now I just feel like I am slowing losing myself and i cant get up.... I am so scared of everything and i cant seem to be happy...

[madine]

Day 5 and I am feeling extremely bad. Tending to having suicidal thoughts bad to be honest. I can be honest here because none of you know who I am, but I've actually have been hinting this to my mom. But she only gets pissed.

 

But I am starting to really think about not wanting to live if she doesn't come back to me. The last two months have been without doubt the very worst of my life. I have been feeling absolute depressed 24/7 since she walked out on me. I can't take this much longer.

 

I have always felt that finding true love was my most important goal in life. And I found it. And I blew it. I blew my one chance at happiness. Everything is just down hill from here. I just hate myself.

 

fml

[lovelifexoxo]

Day 5 and I am feeling extremely bad. Tending to having suicidal thoughts bad to be honest. I can be honest here because none of you know who I am, but I've actually have been hinting this to my mom. But she only gets pissed.

 

But I am starting to really think about not wanting to live if she doesn't come back to me. The last two months have been without doubt the very worst of my life. I have been feeling absolute depressed 24/7 since she walked out on me. I can't take this much longer.

 

I have always felt that finding true love was my most important goal in life. And I found it. And I blew it. I blew my one chance at happiness. Everything is just down hill from here. I just hate myself.

 

fml

 

 

Most of us here are all in the same boat as you.

 

NOTHING is worth taking you life over. Therefore NO ONE is worth taking your life over.

 

You need to stay strong.. we all feel what you feel. If you need someone to talk to you can always pm me..

You can and will get through this... keep the faith

[madine]

I had one girlfriend back when I was sixteen. I had to wait ten years for my next girlfriend. Ten loveless years. I hardly met any girls I liked during those ten years, did not have one single date during those ten years, I never even managed to draw any girls attention. I never fell in love with a girl during those ten years.

 

Up until I met her. The moment I first set eyes on her I knew she was something else. I was smitten with her. I had never ever felt anything close to this for any human being. And she - apparently - felt the same way about me. This was unbelievable.

 

I just know this was my one and only shot. I don't meet lots of girls, not to mention girls I like. I don't manage to draw their attention. I can't get a girl to go on a date with me. How on earth am I going to find a girl I like and who likes me? How am I going to get into another relationship?

 

And let us say I do... she'll always be nothing compared to the girl who left me two months ago.

 

My love life is over. It was just starting and now it is already over.

[jeepman41]

Day 5 and I am feeling extremely bad. Tending to having suicidal thoughts bad to be honest. I can be honest here because none of you know who I am, but I've actually have been hinting this to my mom. But she only gets pissed.

 

But I am starting to really think about not wanting to live if she doesn't come back to me. The last two months have been without doubt the very worst of my life. I have been feeling absolute depressed 24/7 since she walked out on me. I can't take this much longer.

 

I have always felt that finding true love was my most important goal in life. And I found it. And I blew it. I blew my one chance at happiness. Everything is just down hill from here. I just hate myself.

 

fml

 

 

I know you are hurting REALLY bad. You think that the pain will never go away. But your life is worth living. No one person is worth taking your life over.

 

I can't say I know exactly how you feel but you must be at wit's end. Trust me, in time it will get better. You have to do something to get these thought s out of your head.

 

You can also PM me if you want to talk. I will listen.

[madine]

Thanks guys. I think it is great you're here trying to help complete strangers. You are very good people and I really wish all the best for all of you.

[prissybaby]

I would like to accept this challenge! I've already been in NC since Sunday after I foolishly sent a really long email telling him that I still wanted to be with him. Made so many freaking mistakes with this break up that may have made things irreparable though he wanted to be with me again until I started acting like the crazy ex girlfriend, but I want to try this now. My ex has not contacted me in almost a month since he got upset when I got pissed at him over something stupid and deleted him from my facebook. We've been broken up since the middle of May. It still hurts to not have him in my life and I think of him every day...but he needs space and I plan to give him all the space he needs and all the space I need to get my life back on track.

 

So this is officially Day 5 of NC. I have a calendar where I'm marking the days off. It's sort of cathartic for me to X out the days. I'm hoping to go more than a month with this...more like 60 days. But I will start with this. I've been working on getting back into shape. It helps me feel good. Didn't walk today like I do every day, but tomorrow I'll make up for it. Funny thing...one of my previous ex's and I have started emailing recently. When we broke up we both went NC for over a year and it is just now that he emailed me. I don't want that guy back, but it at least gives me hope that my ex and I will get back into good communication again at some time (our relationship was really good, just had a crazy ex-wife to deal with and it got to be too much at the time of our break up) and hopefully get back together and get married like we were talking about.

[why do we]

Having a bit of a rough time today. Was more or less ok for a few days but today is pretty much unbearable, everything triggers memory, I'm tearful and angry and can't concentrate on anything.

It's 25 days and the bastard couldn't even ask me how I was doing! What is this world coming to...