THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Lostagain100]

Day 9

 

Things have been going well. It's crazy how the emotions come in waves. One second I'll want to reach out, the next I'm indifferent. At least now that I'm thinking rationally I can see that the relationship probably would have never worked out.

 

Onto day 10!

[poppa kief]

I made it through a new day 1!

1 month after the breakup.

The last month has been both horrible and enlightening: bouts of NC, lots of emails, saw her a few times, long talks, slept over at her place twice, post breakup sex, insomnia, therapy, did a bunch of things with friends.

It felt so good to pour my heart out to her, to apologize and explain, to be with her again, but I know that now I must go NC for my own sake an hers.

This time it's for real, 30 days to start and I'll see how I feel after that.

Bring it!

[fearlessgirl]

Day 7! Yes, Bring It!

[AnywhereElse]

Day 46. It's funny, the first couple weeks were easier than this, in contrast to what other people seem to be saying. But that's because he wanted space and I wanted to give it to him; we were also LDR a lot. Now I'm at that point of hoping he'll contact me. Ugh.

[headsstillup]

Day 16! She added me as a friend on Facebook yesterday even though I asked her to give me a year or two before reaching out. The request is gonna sit forever as there isn't any way to be friends with someone you wanted to marry. No text or call makes it easier to keep letting go! Plus I move 900 miles away in 7 days for a better life =).

[hopelessincan]

Day 46. It's funny, the first couple weeks were easier than this, in contrast to what other people seem to be saying. But that's because he wanted space and I wanted to give it to him; we were also LDR a lot. Now I'm at that point of hoping he'll contact me. Ugh.

 

I hear ya hon! I'm finding the same thing for some reason. Today is day 47. The last couple of days have been worse than the beginning. And I think its exactly because I figured he would have called or at least emailed by now.... He's the one that told me that men always come back.

[okc35]

I honestly have no idea what to do. I did the nc for a while. I want to get back with her. But all she did was say why are you ignoring me and hot really mad and called me immature for ignoring her. So I feel like all its doing is making my situation worse. Idk what to do?

[ThatGuy195]

Broke no contact, still have feeling for my ex of 5 years, think its been 2 months or so since no contact havent really been counting. Found out she was in a car accident with 2 other cars, said "Heard about the accident hope you and your dog are ok", she replied "yeah thanks", guess i kinda expected more of a response. Did it more out of genuine concern, i mean im not a jerk i still care. Not sure if it was the right thing to do, cant really see it hindering anything.

[Markus87]

I'll give it a go

 

She left me nearly two months ago. We were together for 6 and a half years and were getting married in September.

 

I love her so much and only want her back.

 

I haven't spoken to my ex for 8 days already and her accounts are set to private on social networking sites anyway so I can't check up on her. I still speak to her family though, does this count?

[IAmFCA]

well, suck.

 

driving into the night I initiated contact. what for? because without regard to the status of our communication, he hhim selfad always kept in the morning himself awake to help be my co pilot on late night road trips. like when he talked me into Chicago at 3 am. it was just weird too drive till 2 without context.

Oh my phone is too frustrating. sorry guys. giving up trying to make this ccoherent

 

 

and then of course, another flurry of activity by text. and me totally comfortable. not like oh we are gonna date, we are so not going to date.

[Celia13]

Day 1 NC

 

Feel like Hell. Taking all the advice around the Forum...keeping my mind busy, distraction, etc. Can't get out and about as I've broken my left foot...so feel quite trapped in the house tbh. Can't get to the gym, even local shop/store.

 

What hurts is that I know he hasn't even noticed I haven't been in contact...no doubt trundling along in his life without me...despite proposing 2 mths ago How can someone one moment be all over us, and then dismiss us so easily?

[tucson]

Deleted FB, Blocked emails, erased Skype contact and cut all ties with the EX. NO Contact mode starts now.

[MajinGuu]

17 days!

 

She texted me again last night, this is the fourth time in a row. I think she's in disbelief, I've never ever ignored her before and I would always run to her whenever she'd feel sad or whatever. And now I'm completely gone from her life... Welp, that's what she asked for.

[Markus87]

Day 9 of no contact.

 

I'm trying to be as positive as I can be. I can't stop thinking about her, so I try and just bury my head in work.

 

I wonder if she thinks about me at all. Does she miss me? Has she even noticed? I find it hard to believe after 6 and a half years she can just switch off her feelings like this. We were everything to each other and now it feels like I've just been thrown away like a piece of trash.

 

I am determined not to break no contact though. Sooner or later she has to realise I haven't contacted her and that she misses me. I keep thinking its for the greater good...

 

We'll see.

[snappy5]

Day 45 of NC.

 

Things are going well. He texted me about 2 weeks ago to wish me a happy birthday. This coming from someone who said they never wanted to speak to me again a month before. I didn't reply.

 

I'm doing well. I'm investing into my relationships with people and making new ones. I've gone on many adventures recently: camping, skydiving, weekend getaways with new friends, meeting new people for coffee or beer, hanging out with old friends, investing in self improvement.

 

It really does get easier. Divert the preoccupation with your ex onto other meaningful activities as pining for their return won't help you at all. In fact, it will impeded your progress. If reconciliation is possible do you think your ex desire the awesome new you with new interests, a newfound confidence, a laissez-attitude, etc? They dumped you and you gain more and more power the better you move on. The more desperate and needy you seem to be for their affection, the more they'll take you for granted and still continue to treat you as crap.

 

If they want you, don't make it easy. Treat them as anyone who is pursuing you and make yourself a little more mysterious and attractive. Remember people want what they can't have. By you using their own devices on them will get your point accross much more effectively than you saying how much you love them and can't live without them.

[curda]

well said my friend

[mrnicguy6]

im on day 45 of nc. though.... i have been checking her social sites like 3 or less times a week.... until recently when i dont check as much anymore... i blocked unfollowed and unfriended her everywhere, ive only been checking through someone else's account... wanted to contact her today... asked a friend for her number again... luckily i didnt go through with it... i want to give her space atm... planning to break nc and go lc by august... just casual... nothing heavy.. start from scratch.. then I'll go from there.. hoping to win her back that way..

[sadgirl23]

DAY 1

He has blocked me on Facebook and said he deleted my number. Didn't get much done today except ruminating about the whole break up. Wondering how he might be feeling about it, what he's doing, is he sad or still angry. Impulsively went to his house to say sorry; so glad he wasn't home. I will never do that again -not a stalker!

So glad I found this site. Feeling bad wondering if I made the right decision to have caused it to end but pretty certain there is no going back and that hurts. Not feeling like I want to get back with him, but deeply sad that I may have caused a great thing to end prematurely. Actually it makes me feel sick, and still wondering if talking to him would make me feel better. Going to keep back coming here as it's better than drafting emails to send him. I'm thinking NC is good for space right now and read a good bit of advice on here saying contacting them is like holding their hand through the break up while you end up staying hurt.

[sadgirl23]

oops new here and don't know how to delete a post I made by accident

[MajinGuu]

Day 18.

 

Wow, today was weird. I got really sad because of some completely unrelated things and because of it I got REALLY close to replying to my ex. Thank god I did not, I also spent some time reading a few threads here and there and it helped me.

[sadgirl23]

DAY 2: I had a really good sleep last night. Normally I'd be tossing and turning, thinking about him, feeling mixed up and hurting. Just slept. Still thought about him when I woke up. And most of today. But writing it out here has been a good outlet. I'm more able to focus on my kids.

I did feel the emptiness of not having the usual messages from him asking how I am. Felt down about ever having that again and feeling like a lonely cat lady -will anybody know if anything ever happened to me. Being alone sucks. That sort of guff. I still wonder what he's thinking/feeling. But if it's not much I don't want to know. So I think I'm better off to stay away for my own sanity. I still feel like I want to say sorry to him. I think about spending next summer without him and feel sad.

[LadyJD]

What is the "end result" we are supposed to be "surprised" by? I'm curious.

 

I haven't posted every day but I'll dive in, Day 23 today. Doing ok, but lately thoughts of if I'll ever meet anyone I click with like that again have been bothering me. We clicked, we laughed so much, he was so loving and handsome and smart and successful. Hard to find that all in one guy.

[LadyJD]

Day 18.

 

Wow, today was weird. I got really sad because of some completely unrelated things and because of it I got REALLY close to replying to my ex. Thank god I did not, I also spent some time reading a few threads here and there and it helped me.

 

I know how you feel, I also have the urge to contact my ex when something good or bad happens. I've held off though.

[BigKK]

Day 6

Broke up 2 weeks ago but we were communicating about move out stuff since we lived together. the last week was really good for me. Hung out with my best friend a lot, met a few new great people. I have been very kind and compassionate to everyone I come in contact with, not that I wasn't before...but I think I am mindfully trying to just be nicer.

 

This morning a good friend of mine told me that she texted him asking how he was (he got injured) I got upset with him, and told him I said no details about her. And he defended himself by telling me exactly what she said, haha.

 

I got over it, going to exercise today, and hang out with my friend. I have set up my room at my new place, and sorting a few things out in my life. Trying to be a better me.

[sadgirl23]

DAY 3: Weird, I don't even feel that sad. I noticed last night that he unblocked me from Facebook. I'm trying really hard not to take the bait. I'm very curious why he did that. In the past my gut would be in knots, I'd be unable to sleep, in a fog, unable to concentrate for long. I'm surprised how okay I feel considering. I'm not sure what this means.

I still think about him lots but only in the sense of curiosity about what he thinks of this. I don't want to break NC (yet?) because I'm worried if I do the feeling of being okay will be un-done. I'm a bit worried the longer I leave it though, it will be irreparable -he may think I'm not thinking of him, just heartless. It's a strange feeling to be over for good after so much reconcilliation. I'm wondering if some sadness is going to hit me out of the blue soon. I hope not.