THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[jsc2003]

Day 1 - Hour one. Although I saw my ex on Saturday night at a party, we didn't talk. She sent an email (probably so her new beau who was out of town could see she made it home) around midnight thanking me for the party but there has been no email traffic since. Interesting since there ae two email replies outstanding - not that I count such things. I suspect the 30 day challenge will be easier than I think. We'll see.

[Moonchill]

Haha thanks Apple, you get it! The same thing happened to me! And then they say women are complicated.. rrright Never underestimate a complicated man.

 

day 28

Freaking out because of toothpain (not that has anything to do with my ex)

Feeling better than yesterday.

The whole "I just can't understand it" panic has settled. Even though it's valentines day , I don't feel the sting of being lonely.

I might be alone but I don't feel lonely

[Love1336]

ahhh valentine days.

I wonder do you have our pics from NY?

I bet you deleted them all. I still have some, but its time there go bye bye. That was a fun day.

You always made Valentine day fun.

[jumpman]

hi guys im new to this site but fort i would write my feelings down! im on day 43 of no contact! its been one hell of a roller coster ride one day im missing her like mad then the next i hate her! been really weird but actually the not contacting her isnt that hard! its just the constent feeling in my heart and stomach that is annoying, i still love her and when she left she said how much she loves me but wanted time on her own cos had been with me since she was 18! we were together 7years!

we live in a small town so its been hard staying away from her and today i saw her she looked really unhappy as i drove past but never even looked at me to say hi! i do still wonder if she will come back! but i also no ive gotta move on! we will all get through it just wonder how long it will take!!

[gez2705]

So back to day one after six weeks of NC and feel a complete idiot why did I not just take the advice given out on here and keep myself to myself I was doing so well yesterday morning found her profile on a dating site which really threw me so drove round to her house to confront her (I know a real dumb thing to do) when I got to her house she invited me in and we started chatting but it did not feel strained and she was pleased to see me to cut it short we ended up kissing which again was totally strange and unexpected.

So this morning found her number and rung her about what happened yesterday and she said basically said she still had deep feelings for me and really fancied me but it was a mistake kissing me and didn't want me to contact her again.

What a idiot I've been right now I feel a proper muppet straight back into NC for me

 

Anyone thinking about breaking NC really think about it, then think about it again, and then double check because you are making a mistake, because if you do break NC you are wrong its not a good idea unless you are totally in control of your feelings and six weeks is not even a drop in the ocean maybe six months I honestly can say if you are not totally over your ex it will come back and bite you on the A**E and you will feel like s**t its even worse than the day you broke up so please please please think about it before you do it

 

So from here on and up the light is a small dot at the end of the long tunnel at the moment but the more I walk towards it the bigger the light becomes and I will get to it this is just a set back

[Bobbadoo]

Day 92

 

Wow ALMOST broke NC today but stopped myself. Its been over 3 months now and I still miss her tons. Sigh... sometimes I wish I never met her so I don't have to fall in love and go through this crap.

[Mrs Popsicle]

Day 2.

Been alright today, had fun socialising, got flirted with (always flattering, though I have no intentions of flirting back!) got some work and exercise done.

Spoke to a friend today, and he told me that his mum had asked if I was still with my ex. When he said no, she said good, because "she is so pretty and he's far from it!" It's really odd to hear other peoples opinions on him, I always found him *very* attractive, but have come to realise that it really is in the eye of the beholder....I'm really not saying this to put him down-he always looked lovely to me. I've also never really thought of myself as pretty. Was nice to hear on Valentines day!

 

What also lifted my spirits was playing on the piano with my son-making up silly songs and letting our pet rats run over the keys-silly and fun!

[Mrs Popsicle]

when I got to her house she invited me in and we started chatting but it did not feel strained and she was pleased to see me to cut it short we ended up kissing which again was totally strange and unexpected.

So this morning found her number and rung her about what happened yesterday and she said basically said she still had deep feelings for me and really fancied me but it was a mistake kissing me and didn't want me to contact her again.

What a idiot I've been right now I feel a proper muppet straight back into NC for me

 

 

Wow, how did that happen?

All you can do is go back to NC I guess, I know you are feeling bad right now, but I hope it gets easier for you.

Good luck

 

Mrs Popsicle

[MizzNatalie]

QUESTION-- I am not his friend on fb but I have been known to look at his profile pic and I talk about him to his friend that lives in my town... my ex lives 3 hrs away.. I also chat with his room mate.. so for the last 3 weeks I haven't directly contacted him, does this still count as nc?

[homebody]

Hi all, started NC one day ago in real life, 30 days is usually how long it takes me to feel better. So it will be 31 days for me yay! even better.

 

So today is Day 1, Valentine's Day and the day is almost finished. So far only my co-workers know we are officially broken up. Unfortunately my freelance company still hosts his website...arrgh. I want to tell him to go find someone else to take care of it and delete him from my LinkedIn but I just can't yet, I am not angry enough yet plus it just makes me look weak and petty to do it so soon. Maybe I can turn him over to a colleague and have that lined up before I tell him, but only after the 30 days of NC. I did put away photos and reminders in a box. Working on deleting vm and texts. So far crickets on his end, praying it stays that way. So I am hungry and emotionally exhausted from thinking hateful painful thoughts all day. I will sleep well. Didn't see a lot of big flowers and bouquets at work today...guess a lot of people are single or just broke.

[jsc2003]

So, all was pretty well until 3:45 when I got the Happy Valentine's Day call. We talked and she wants to do lunch. Luckily I am busy this week but next week...eek.

 

Day 1 - Hour one. Although I saw my ex on Saturday night at a party, we didn't talk. She sent an email (probably so her new beau who was out of town could see she made it home) around midnight thanking me for the party but there has been no email traffic since. Interesting since there ae two email replies outstanding - not that I count such things. I suspect the 30 day challenge will be easier than I think. We'll see.

[Bobbadoo]

Damit. Broke NC today. Apparently I butt-dialed my ex and she sent me a text. I shouldn`t have responded but I did. We just texted back and forth just catching up. She ended up just ending it quickly by saying she is tired and about to pass out, and it felt as if she was not even curious about me at all. I feel like crap now after 3 months of NC down the drain. FML

[MizzNatalie]

QUESTION-- I am not his friend on fb but I have been known to look at his profile pic and I talk about him to his friend that lives in my town... my ex lives 3 hrs away.. I also chat with his room mate.. so for the last 3 weeks I haven't directly contacted him, does this still count as nc?

[jumpman]

hey guys,

 

need some advice! was with my girlfriend 7years, we never ended on bad terms she just said she needed some time on her own to sort herself out! that was 5weeks ago and ive been in no contact since! but shes getting alot of letters at my flat now, and also i drove past her in town yesturday and she couldnt even look at me this has happened a few times now! she didnt look like she was very happy either like life is getting to her! do you think i should mayb txt her saying that shes getting alot of mail at mine and that im upset that she cant even say hi to me in the street after 7years 2gever! i no thats breaking no contact but what do you guys think i should do!!

[Bobbadoo]

hey guys,

 

need some advice! was with my girlfriend 7years, we never ended on bad terms she just said she needed some time on her own to sort herself out! that was 5weeks ago and ive been in no contact since! but shes getting alot of letters at my flat now, and also i drove past her in town yesturday and she couldnt even look at me this has happened a few times now! she didnt look like she was very happy either like life is getting to her! do you think i should mayb txt her saying that shes getting alot of mail at mine and that im upset that she cant even say hi to me in the street after 7years 2gever! i no thats breaking no contact but what do you guys think i should do!!

 

If the mail is important, you should text her about it but do not tell her that you are upset at her for not saying hi. Do not bring up any feelings that you have for her. Be nonchalant as if the break up does not affect you. Continue to heal and you will be fine.

[Bobbadoo]

QUESTION-- I am not his friend on fb but I have been known to look at his profile pic and I talk about him to his friend that lives in my town... my ex lives 3 hrs away.. I also chat with his room mate.. so for the last 3 weeks I haven't directly contacted him, does this still count as nc?

 

Yes this does account as NC. NC is basically trying to wipe your ex out of your mind. That means no looking at his facebook picture (might as well block him to help you out). Try to limit talking to his friends and try not to talk about him if you do.

[crabman]

QUESTION-- I am not his friend on fb but I have been known to look at his profile pic and I talk about him to his friend that lives in my town... my ex lives 3 hrs away.. I also chat with his room mate.. so for the last 3 weeks I haven't directly contacted him, does this still count as nc?

 

nope, that is not the kind of NC you need right now.. NC is for YOU to get him out of your head. try to concentrate on good stuff that makes you happy and doesn´t remind you on him at all. it´s not easy but it´s getting better and better, I promise!.. some day you will see how "normal" it is not to think about him.

 

and: don´t you think his roomy will not tell him about chatting with you??!

 

all the best!

[Janeiac]

Day 27

I still have no urges to contact X, but I did get overwhelmed wanting to know about what's going on. I know it's perverse, but I've always been one who wants information, no matter how painful, so I did a little sneaky internet snooping. Oddly, I feel a little better.

I feel a bit out of place posting on the "getting back together" section because I cannot say I want him back. That could only happen if he changed, and I can't drive that in another person. He'd have to announce he was totally wrong, that he never loved the other woman, that he was a fool, and apologize, and then treat me totally differently for a period of weeks or maybe months to convince me to be with him. I do not believe that will happen, he's been trumpeting how over-the-top happy in love he is with the (married! recently separated!) woman he cheated with. That seems likely to blow up, but I still don't see him saying his feelings weren't his feelings.

And he never displayed that kind of love towards me, not even in the beginning when infatuation is normal.

I made things to easy for him, and I gave everything. He didn't have to do a thing, and he didn't. I can't see him suddenly changing his feelings about me, either.

I'm sad, but there is no going back and re-doing it. I hope I have the fortitude in the future not to jump right in as I have done in the past. I could have avoided a lot of hurt if I'd taken it slower with X. I'd have seen that he wasn't that into me, and dropped him a lot sooner, and not been devastated and treated so poorly.

[gradstudent88]

DAY 8

 

The past few days have been rougher than usual. I can't stop thinking about my ex and the other guy. Thoughts keep flooding my head of if they're talking, if they're hanging out, what they're doing, etc. I'm not sure if it was sparked by the V-Day hype, but I'm trying really hard to shake these bad thoughts. Hopefully they'll subside as the week goes on.

[crabman]

and: don´t you think his roomy will not tell him about chatting with you??!

 

sorry, I mean "don´t you think his roomy will tell him about chatting with you?"

[ClarenceRutherford]

sorry, I mean "don´t you think his roomy will tell him about chatting with you?"

Roomies or best friends are always more loyal to your EXs. Stay away.

 

I once queried one. She later called me and said, "Sorry, Fla. Man. She asked. I have to be loyal to her..."

Then I got a call from my EX. Thought great. She's calling to say she wants me back.

Uh.... no.

Got chewed out. "Don't you ever call my best friend about us !!!"

 

Understand how much you guys/gals want to inquire. Trust me, it could backfire and make you look weak and needy.

[Moonchill]

day 29 of NC

I caved in, had to look at his FB profile and the FB profile of the band.

Fortunately nothing has changed, he didn't get a new nice profile picture, I didn't see new pictures on the band page of him drumming. Yes I know he is a handsome man but I'm happy I didn't see new pictures of him because that would set me back.

Ok I admit it, this also sets me back a bit but I am just relieved I didn't see anything hurtful. I'm one day away from completing the challenge! And I really want to contact him to say to him how sorry I am for not dealing with the expression of his feelings on a mature way. Instead I... * sigh* I did not handle it good at all. But would it be a good thing to contact him? I guess I am doing him a bigger favour ( and I guess I'd do myself a bigger favour too) to stay NC.

 

That's why I've decided to extend the challenge with another month of NC and I will keep posting on this site because that helps me keeping it up.

[MizzNatalie]

true, i never really thought about what I was doing when I chatted with the room mate... i didn't ask him at all about my ex so i've been teasing nc for a month. i screwed up and texted him wishing him well. he responded with thank you and hoped that i was doing well. at 12pm today I am shutting down the facebook account. and i want to respond to his text but it's going to lead me no where. he's not interested. so im quitting for a month, quitting facebook and going to try to forget about him and work out until i lose 20 pounds. this day sucks. thanks for allowing a forum where people can vent.

[r0ckox]

Day 5.

 

The NC was initiated by me, I suppose. She texted me last wednesday asking if I was home. I purposely waited until the next day to answer, and when she replied, I just never responded.

Haven't heard from her since.

 

So far, so good. Still in my thoughts, but still unhappy.

Wonder how she is, how her valentines day went. I know her friend is back in the picture somewhat, thanks to facebook -- but I haven't gone into reading into anything. Just able to see picture comments.

Wonder if she spent it with him. Or with anyone.

Wonder how her dog is doing.

 

Meh.

 

Should really stop wondering.

[jonesyjakk]

hadn't heard from her in a few days til sunday, then she text saying hi, hope ur ok, drop our boy to you at 4.15, i said yep brill, then she text monday about some bills from our old house, i kept it short n sweet, then she started talking to me about our son, i replied what she wanted to hear, she then said something else about our son and i stopped the conversation.....nc at all today.....!

 

I wonder what she's up to, and wonder of she feels the same, like you barx, i should stop wondering too!