THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[sentencedtoagony]

my ex uses it very rarely, but still, deleting it, even if symbolic will help your brain cope. one less trigger/reminder.

[steveofsussex]

Although my relationship was short, 3 months, I spoke to her every day during those 3 months. So now doing NC is still very tough. I really want to text her right now

[Moonchill]

Steveofsussex, finally another person that has had a short relationship with quit an impact

My relationship was also short ( 2 months) and I had a hard time too, keeping NC.

But the more time passes.. the better it gets

 

Though I find myself thinking about him a lot,the pain is gone.

[sentencedtoagony]

3 or 4 months for me too, but harder than the break of my 3 year relationship before it

[sunnz]

another one with a short 2 - 3 month relationship but we had contact everyday...etc...future talks etc we both wanted a future together right from the very beginning and throughout the relationship

 

I'm on day 25 [6 weeks since break up] no contact however we spoke briefly 2 weeks after break up when I was in nc for those 2 weeks...anyway he said he wanted me to sort myself out to prove to him I am what he wants...means no texts contact etc...and I had said how do I prove if he cut me off ? do I come back in a month ? how ? and he said yep come back in a month...

 

so the month is nearly up [a few days left]...what does other think ? should I come back like we both agreed upon ?

 

I was thinking delaying it longer for another week or two just so we have more time and it doesn't show I am hanging on that exact month to contact...which I am not I am perfectly fine and back to my normal single independent self... I have essentially let go and believe what will be will be...however I *feel* that keeping nc for a little longer gives me the control back...

 

any help on this ? thanks

[sentencedtoagony]

yeah, saying come back in a month is making you jump thru hoops which means its gonna be some

you-be-my-doormat kinda terms. wait a little bit longer.

[sunnz]

Thanks yeh thats exactly what i was thinking...that's what I don't want ...so throw him off a bit...because I think he will be expecting me to come back exactly that day...but I can easily go another few weeks...I really did get myself back together and am thankful I no longer feel pain...

[Janeiac]

Sunnz, let him come to you. If he doesn't you'll know you did the right thing by not making contact. If he does, you'll know he really wants you.

[Tavbike]

Ok, I work with her and we do yoga once a week.. We still have a condo together although we live apart. I am pathetic, making her dinner once a week, warming up her car in the cold weather.......yuk. Its been 2 days of NC and * * * * its hard. We were together for 15 years so of course it will be hard. Sign me up! wish me luck!

[Tavbike]

Day 2 of NC ,we go to yoga once a week, do I keep going or tell her that shes a downward dog? We were together for 15yrs and I just spent 3 months trying to reconcile. Ouch.

[deff808]

Okay i'm almost on day 6 NC

 

But my ex has text me twice " You work today? "

 

I ignored it

 

3 hrs later

 

She text again " Just was wondering if the item has come in, I didn't hear anything."

 

She has order a gift for me, one week later of our break up. Its about two weeks now since our break up, 2 days before valentines.

I guess she promise she was gonna get it for me, while we was together i supposed.

 

What do i do?

 

I ignored that last message to. Would be kinda rude that she got me a expensive gift, and be brick about it not replying back. I haven't received it yet.

But who cares, she left me... Or no?

[simplyme01]

NC Day 13

 

Going on 2 months since I last saw him. This is the longest we've gone with NC. It's still not easy, but it is easier. I miss him everyday, several times a day. I often wish he would call or send a text, just so I know he's thinking of me. I wonder if he is?? I shouldn't care, but I still do. "If" he did call or text, I would want to be strong enough to ignore it & just not respond. I guess time will tell. At this point, I don't think I would go back with him. This time a part has made me realize a lot of things that weren't great with us. I've been keeping busy with family & friends. Haven't cried since I don't know when, maybe a week. The physical pain I felt in the beginning days, weeks has lessened tremendously. I still feel a slight emptiness. There is a part of me that just wants to hold him, kiss him, eat dinner with him, just cuddle...yes, I still miss that a lot. But, I know that is all in the past & in time I won't miss any of it. Hope you all have a happy Saturday!

[Janeiac]

simpleyme, you said it beautifully. I think most of us have those feelings of missing the ex. NC really helps in putting it behind us.

Thanks to each and every one of you on here for all the support, it really helps. We can do this. Those jsut starting, hang in there! It does get better. Be strong. Love yourself.

[Moonchill]

Thanks for the peptalk, Janeiac

 

I dreamt about him. In that dream he wondered how I was doing and I was fake smiling claiming how everything was amazing.

I saw on his face how he didn't fall for that trick.

So that's a pretty realistic dream.

I'd like to meet him when I really dó feel amazing,not only claim such a thing.

 

@ scentencedtoagony: Isn't it strange that a short relationship can somehow have more impact on you then a long one. Maybe because in the short one ( with all the future talks) you build a dream in your head about how things could be.. In a long relationship you already know how it ended up to be. If that makes any sense to you

[simplyme01]

Haha...talk about that damn emotional roller coaster. I just posted a message a few hours ago when I felt as if I was doing well. Now I'm sitting here missing him soooo much & crying, really crying. WHY??? Where did this all of a sudden come from? I miss him, I want to see him. I don't want to hurt anymore. Why was I doing so well & now this??? I haven't cried in so long, why now?

[Tavbike]

So she called me after almost three days and before I could even think about it I was like "sure I'd love to see you!" I feel awkward and nervous and Ive let myself down. I cried all night over this girl and just want to let go......Now im back to feeling pain...

[Tavbike]

Haha...talk about that damn emotional roller coaster. I just posted a message a few hours ago when I felt as if I was doing well. Now I'm sitting here missing him soooo much & crying, really crying. WHY??? Where did this all of a sudden come from? I miss him, I want to see him. I don't want to hurt anymore. Why was I doing so well & now this??? I haven't cried in so long, why now?

 

I know just how you feel, I'm in the same boat, its been a year since we broke up and its still so fresh! Being her friend now......not too sure about that....be strong there are lots of people who feel the same!! Let it all out and let it go, it will never be easy, but you can survive!

[Ely]

DAY #9 OF NC

 

It's been easy because I truly don't want to hear from him again, but it's been painful because I discovered a few things that he did that hurt me a lot.

Family and friends have helped me a lot. I try to expend time with them. Also taking good care of me, working out and eating healthy.

[Janeiac]

simplyme, hang on, these things happen. Give yourself permission to feel sad, then wipe your eyes, blow your nose, splash some cold water on your face and do something, even if it is jsut watching a movie or reading a magazine.

[Moonchill]

Somehow I suddenly have a very strong urge to contact him. Listening to comforting music doesn't help a thing, it only makes things worse. I don't feel like talking to my friends about it so I've decided to hang around in this forum.

*sigh* I see I'm not the only one having trouble with this. I wish you all the strength you need.

 

I really miss him

I don't want to bother you guys with nagging but it's just something I need to type out of my head or something.

I felt so at home in his world. More than in my own world. So I guess that's the problem. I need to feel at home in my life again.

[simplyme01]

Moonchill...I honestly don't know what it is about today. I've been on a roll, doing well & it hit me hard today. I know I'm not going to call or text him. I've been there, done that & it really did set me back to square one. I don't want to step back. I'm hoping today is just a bad day & tomorrow will be brighter. I haven't been able to listen to music in 2 months. Music was a big part of us. That will be one of my final steps to my healing. If it's getting you down, don't listen to it. Be strong, keep reading and posting on here. I find myself doing the same when I'm feeling weak. It helps a lot. We're all here for the same reason & it even helps to see everyone else having ups & downs. God forbid if we're all down on the same day!!! YIKES! lol...

[UpUpAndAway]

Isn't it strange that a short relationship can somehow have more impact on you then a long one. Maybe because in the short one ( with all the future talks) you build a dream in your head about how things could be.. In a long relationship you already know how it ended up to be. If that makes any sense to you

 

That is EXACTLY why.

 

The endings of all of my shorter relationships have been excruciating, agonizing. With the longterm relationships, though, I felt at peace with ending them as it felt as though they had actually run their course. There was still pain, but a completely different kind of pain...it didn't feel out of control. Like a cut that isn't so deep. A papercut vs. a * * * * ing stab in the heart.

[Moonchill]

Simplyme01, it's just one of those days isn't it. Time for some sunshine maybe that will help. You are right about the fact that you should choose the music wisely. At the time I was typing it I was also listening to a song we listened together while cuddling and stuff so that just triggers emotions. I know it does and I should not listen to music that reminds me of him. But today his name appears everywhere haha. It might be a better idea to avoic music but somehow I want to keep the memory of him alive. Now I know it's just unnecessary torture.

 

Upupandaway, you are also right.. the best way to describe it is the feeling you have after watching a movie with an open ending.. But when you take a step back and haven't got contact in a while it feels like it brings more clarity in your head about the relationship.. as short as it was. In general I think it could not have worked out anyway, but when I feel weak I suddenly doubt it. I get lost in the "how things could have been IF" . It's indeed a different kind of pain.

 

Anyhow we are posting on this thread , instead of begging pleading crying desperately to our exes so:

 

=D>HOORAY FOR US =D>

[sentencedtoagony]

simply, I hear ya. i'm a rock one minute and piece of dust the next.

 

i caved in today, after 6 days of NC. but i maintained composure and kept it very short.

 

but i will start the count over.

 

Day 1.

[simplyme01]

Sunday morning...yesterday was rough. Again this morning I have the strongest urge to contact him. I had a dream, go figure, that he now had a gf. I don't think he does yet, but I really don't know. All I know is I miss him so much, yesterday & today. I just don't understand what has triggered this. It's intense. Hormone's maybe?? Yeah, that's got to be it, lol! I'll blame it on being "hormotional" and in a few days it'll pass. I need to be strong again...