THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[markd321]

And I've failed........I sent it, and straight away I had those pangs that I knew I'd get, those feelings of "You prat, you should have stayed strong" because I now know whats going to happen the rest of the afternoon......I'll be staring at my inbox.....She wont reply ..........and I'll feel even lower and even more of a fool for doing it.......back to day 1 tomorrow......

[markd321]

Oh Christ...........what sort of hellish torture is this!!!!

 

Having broken this morning and emailing her.......I've just got back the dreaded out of office message!!!

Argh!!! All weekend now worrying!! NC all the way now, fingers burned, lesson learned, what a fool!

[Griffey]

Haha you'll get through it Mark.

 

NC day 13. Feeling bettterrr.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 24. I hate thinking of her in the morning and before I go to sleep. Even though I hated her yesterday, I still ask God to watch over her.

 

Last night, I read the email I wrote her last month after 20 somewhat days of NC and the month mark of our breakup. I left somethings out, but I am happy with what I wrote as my last contact with her.

 

It's been almost two month since we broke up. Its that 6-8 week mark. This is when she is suppose to miss me. Yeah right. Well, I went through this last year around this time, so I should be and have been better this time around. But I do miss her. Just feels strange not having her in my life. But she I have to remind myself that she has changed and of all the crap she put me through.

 

On a bright note, the girl I went out on a few dates with last week missed me. I didn't call or text her for a few days. But she texted me! And another girl I met online asked if still wanted to talk to her as I did not call her because she was on a two week vacation. So at least some girls are interested in me and thinking about me, even if its not the one I love.

[polka_hats]

Uggghhh he drove by my house yesterday in the big beautiful truck that used to be ours. He lives so close I never realized that he actually has to drive by my house to go to and from work.

 

The urge to call/text him (and say what?...I don't know) was so ridiculously strong...so hard to resist...but I did...and now today that urge is still there. Must ignore it.

[deecbee]

Day 2- haven't checked my email account, and I'm not tempted to. I know regardless of what I find in there (email, no email) it's gonna HURT and I'm totally not interested in that today.

 

He is still on my mind but posting on here and helping other people with their problems helps a LOT. This go-round of NC will definitely be easier than the first round. 5 months and 28 days to go!

[oceanblue535]

Just another day. You're becoming a memory.

[Rotxsen]

It really is like playing Russian roulette I might get shot lol.. right in the heart by her again!

[pyropinup]

It's so weird that every source is different on when to initiate contact.

 

I am of the opinion that if you want your ex back, you should go NC for a certain period of time, then IM or email them slowly, until you get back into some sort of contact with them. Then if you play it right, dinner, movies, etc, then you're back.

 

Some sites say wait 2 weeks, the ebooks say 30 days, enotalone says never contact them until they contact you...

 

It's just so frustrating that there really isn't a standard that is followed after NC. I would think logically that within a few months is the best opportunity bc your ex hasn't moved on yet in many cases, it's enough time to get over the initial anger, etc.

 

I agree Griffey. I am no longer angry with him; I just want to move on, whether it's with him or without him. I think since both of us have competitive natures that we will each be waiting for the other to "break down" and contact first. At least, I was competitive before. Now, I am willing to put aside my pride and make one attempt at contact for the sake of regaining my inner peace. Time to stop being childish and * * * -for-tat; I am an adult who has grown from this experience. I want to share that growth, and I know full well that it may not be with him..

 

It's been 30 days today since our fight and the start of NC. He did break it about 10 days into it to share some test results with me, which I wasn't sure he would do (this does mean a lot to me and I replied to him that it did), so obviously he cares about me to some extent to do this even in light of our disagreement and NC vow?

 

On Sunday, it will be 32 days. i will call him and be neutral about it all. "What's up? How are you? I want to get together for coffee or lunch as friends."

 

DAY 30

[Griffey]

Definitely keep us updated as to what happens!

[bitebenot]

DEECBEE Hi ! im doing very good thank you ! I hope you are too !

11 months now ! I still miss her..that wont die soon i guess but nothing to compare to what it was then. Life goes on and i have a few friends (women that is) and its great.

 

Hey everyone...NC is a war ! And it needs to be won !

NC from me since the beginning and i still believe its the best way to go ! Good luck to all.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 24

 

Spent to much time thinking of her and doing reading on Narcissism. I realized some important things today.

 

1) She is never coming back, because she is incapable of it.

2) I am in love with an image. I know she has two sides and I love the one side, but because of her narcissism, she will never let me see that side again.

3) Our relationship was a sham the last 1.5 to 2 years. Besides just being an unhealthy relationship, it really is hard to call it a relationship compared to a real relationship.

4) I am a fool for still loving her.

[ackerman]

I havent posted on here for a long time but after 1 year I've never heard off her again. I do still think about her but im determined to carry on with my life and accept the reality. I made mistakes and did all the pleading, bitterness, maybe it was my own fault driving her away but I did so only because I cared and loved her. I never stopped longing for her to contact me, i've hoped and prayered. No contact is so hard but stick at it, I do feel like i've come a long way. I was a broken mess, i've worked so hard on regaining my confidence and I just hope to keep on going.

[tujna]

I last contacted him on Wednesday night and he did not respond. I guess tonight will be 2 days of NC. The longest I have been in NC is about 4 days, I guess. But this was when I still had hope that there might be something between us. Now is time to resume NC because it seems that he needs time by himself and definitely not with me around. At least I know I tried without being too pushy and needy. I had to show he is important to me. Now it is his turn to do something if things between us meant something to him. It is so liberating to know that you didn't do anything wrong and that he just couldn't bear how reliable and good for him you are.

[deecbee]

End of day 2-

 

I had an invite to go out tonight. Was feeling sorry for myself so I canceled. I'm regretting it now because all I can do is worry about his new relationship and play his final emails over in my head. I keep googling "How long does the honeymoon phase last" or "How soon do people typically say 'I love you'"- it's so STUPID! I just wish I knew if he was really, madly in love with this woman or if he played up their relationship to hurt me.

 

Still not tempted to check my email account, so that's good. But I can't stop wondering if they're spending time this weekend, what they'll do, how serious are they, do they love each other, are they exclusively dating, etc. It's killing me right now!

[PaleSeptember]

Ok I technically started NC only earlier this night, but I initiated it through online means (chat and messaging). I asked him not to contact me unless he's interested in reconciliation. However, I feel bad that I did this online and not in person or on the phone. I feel like I ought to call him and talk briefly about it instead. What do you think of this?

[deecbee]

Ok I technically started NC only earlier this night, but I initiated it through online means (chat and messaging). I asked him not to contact me unless he's interested in reconciliation. However, I feel bad that I did this online and not in person or on the phone. I feel like I ought to call him and talk briefly about it instead. What do you think of this?

 

Leave it. Your point is still the same. I think you are trying to rationalize yourself out of NC, lol. I know those tricks when I see them No Contact doesn't ever need an explanation or an agreement- it speaks for itself, and loud and clear at that!

[Griffey]

Anyone else wake up in the middle of the night on Fridays and Saturdays wondering if their ex is in bed with someone else? I do and I can't get back to sleep thinking about it...

[PaleSeptember]

Leave it. Your point is still the same. I think you are trying to rationalize yourself out of NC, lol. I know those tricks when I see them No Contact doesn't ever need an explanation or an agreement- it speaks for itself, and loud and clear at that!

 

Too late! haha. I ended up doing it. I called him while he was watching a movie. He sounded nonchalant. After getting off the phone I sent a text saying it's nice he's moved on so quickly. Then I sent one saying I apologize, I just didn't expect the aloof tone. Didn't hear anything back. Knowing him, he probably saw that as pathetic. Not like it really matters anymore. NC day one! ((sigh)) It would be easier to get through this if he weren't on my mind so much, on my mind every time I wake up.

[Griffey]

NC Day 14

 

Can't believe it's been 2 weeks already. Wish she'd call.

[pinktroll]

NC day 4! This is going well. The first day after the breakup was really rough, but I got through it, and now it's pretty smooth sailing (so far). I was thinking back to the last few times I did NC with this particular person, and the longest I went was SIX WEEKS, at the end of which he called. We weren't even dating at the time, but I chose to do NC so as to stop myself from being insane. Here's to beating that record and beyond!

[oceanblue535]

I met someone completely different from you. Not sure what I think about this. Not sure if I'm over you enough for this... Maybe this guy and I can just be friends for awhile. That's what I need.

[PaleSeptember]

Ok, it's only Day 1 and I already feel like I want to ask him if this break up is what he really wants, that I don't see why we can't work on things, etc. I'm the one who said "no contact" but ever since I told him that yesterday, I'm wanting to contact him. ](*,) For the last two weeks I have missed him and wanted to be with him, but haven't felt desperate call him up and say such things! Ah! Hope I can be strong.

[MrSpeed]

29 hours and no contact with my ex. Gonna be hard but gotta go with it.

[deecbee]

Too late! haha. I ended up doing it. I called him while he was watching a movie. He sounded nonchalant. After getting off the phone I sent a text saying it's nice he's moved on so quickly. Then I sent one saying I apologize, I just didn't expect the aloof tone. Didn't hear anything back. Knowing him, he probably saw that as pathetic. Not like it really matters anymore. NC day one! ((sigh)) It would be easier to get through this if he weren't on my mind so much, on my mind every time I wake up.

 

 

We've all slipped up. Take it as a lesson... 99% of the time you're not gonna hear what you want from them. Every time I have broken NC, it always ended in more heartache. Don't do that to yourself!